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How should I pay to lose my virginity?

Ladyrookie123 said:
Wow interesting discussion going on here since I've been away for a bit...But I suppose I'll address the parts that were directed at me:



You've mentioned that you're old so in your position there's no way you'd be able to understand or care to know about why my situation isn't as easy as you think.

"Don't worry about your age" Easier said than done where there's one strong thing bothering me about my age, mainly my lack of sexual experience. Plus with my constant masturbation it's even harder to just not worry.

A whore house goes without saying, but a bar? I was under the impression that those are THE PLACE to go to. Nothing would be wrong with a desperate girl just so long as she's attractive and actually chooses me so for my first time that would be fine.

I've been honest and mingled and did all that stuff you mentioned and I did have chances in my past, but back when I had friends to make those moments feel more pleasant and worthwhile now that I'm only I gotta re-break out of my shell all over again but this time on my own and that's where I have trouble.

You'd know that if YOU were paying attention, but if you have more like you claim I'm still willing to listen.
Click to expand...

OK, I'm going to try and be helpful here.

If your virginity is truly a barrier to you feeling comfortable around women, but you don't want to be in a 'relationship', which is the general feeling I'm getting here, there's a couple of options:

(a) The sex industry is a many-faceted jewel, and the street girls and those who work in brothels aren't the only option. You could pay a high-end escort for an evening out - often referred to as the 'girlfriend experience' - where you'd have a nice time and get laid. They're professionals at making guys feel special ... yes, they probably are sleeping with you because they're getting paid, but they're in the job because they enjoy it, and it seems like an excellent way to get over the virginity issue without having to risk the embarrassment you seem to think would happen while having an enjoyable time in the process AND not having any irritating ties. It might also help with your social awkwardness - it's their JOB to make people not feel awkward. (I understand that there are now readily available review sites as well - you probably could find someone who specialises in clients without so much experience.)

(b) Dating sites, Tinder, etc seem like a great avenue for the socially awkward. You can establish a bit of rapport in a non-threatening environment, and then get together in person when you've worked out that you actually like each other. They're also full of people looking for a range of different things, from one-off hook ups to marriage. I'd STRONGLY advise not creating a profile or coming out of the gate with a list of criteria though, nor a total commitment to one type of thing, and just seeing what happens. I don't think I've had one relationship start because I was 'looking for love' ... they've just kind of fallen out of the sky, at time evens when I was quite actively NOT looking for love - e.g. the guy I married. So if there's something your'e particularly wanting, 'looking for it' is often not the way to go. Annoying, but that seems to be how human relations works. And then sometimes you're surprised ... I was quite clearly not looking for my current relationship situation and never would have imagined in a thousand years I'd be in the position I currently am in, and yet here I am, and pretty happy.
 
NightL said:
Hmm so someone with more life experience could not possibly understand? Then there certainly is little hope for you, because if people lose reasoning power as they grow older you are not starting from a great place.

I would suggest most here have a very clear understanding of you.
Click to expand...

No more like someone with a SIGNIFICANT amount OF life experience from another approach that IS vastly different than someone is is more likely to have trouble fully emphasizing with someone going through something at present. Besides the person in question is nowhere similar to me due to the fact that he lost his virginity at 21 and look where I am now.

P.S. I REALLY need to know how to multiquote because it's getting annoying to quite one person at a time before I read the next one.
 
KimGordon67 said:
OK, I'm going to try and be helpful here.

If your virginity is truly a barrier to you feeling comfortable around women, but you don't want to be in a 'relationship', which is the general feeling I'm getting here, there's a couple of options:

(a) The sex industry is a many-faceted jewel, and the street girls and those who work in brothels aren't the only option. You could pay a high-end escort for an evening out - often referred to as the 'girlfriend experience' - where you'd have a nice time and get laid. They're professionals at making guys feel special ... yes, they probably are sleeping with you because they're getting paid, but they're in the job because they enjoy it, and it seems like an excellent way to get over the virginity issue without having to risk the embarrassment you seem to think would happen while having an enjoyable time in the process AND not having any irritating ties. It might also help with your social awkwardness - it's their JOB to make people not feel awkward. (I understand that there are now readily available review sites as well - you probably could find someone who specialises in clients without so much experience.)

(b) Dating sites, Tinder, etc seem like a great avenue for the socially awkward. You can establish a bit of rapport in a non-threatening environment, and then get together in person when you've worked out that you actually like each other. They're also full of people looking for a range of different things, from one-off hook ups to marriage. I'd STRONGLY advise not creating a profile or coming out of the gate with a list of criteria though, nor a total commitment to one type of thing, and just seeing what happens. I don't think I've had one relationship start because I was 'looking for love' ... they've just kind of fallen out of the sky, at time evens when I was quite actively NOT looking for love - e.g. the guy I married. So if there's something your'e particularly wanting, 'looking for it' is often not the way to go. Annoying, but that seems to be how human relations works. And then sometimes you're surprised ... I was quite clearly not looking for my current relationship situation and never would have imagined in a thousand years I'd be in the position I currently am in, and yet here I am, and pretty happy.
Click to expand...

Ooooh female perspective that's always a good view to listen to.

A.) People keep suggesting the girlfriend experience to me all the time. As I've told them the experience itself is still just an illusion and money is still their goal. Now don't get me wrong I'm not against role playing I'd just rather not play pretend for my virginity. Should the day come when I have to admit defeat and pay a prostitute I wouldn't have any idea on to look for a reliable source and with as low risk to getting arrested as possible because remember its against the law in most places to pay for sex....Someone suggested Nevada since it's legal there so there's an option I guess.

B.) :( People have suggested tinder to me alot too...thing is I've tried tinder a bunch of times but all I get are nothing but bots bots bots all the time...I don't want to just rely on keeping my fingers crossed and hope I get lucky which is usually how some relationships tend to start..But regardless I don't want love right now anyway...
 
Ladyrookie123 said:
Ooooh female perspective that's always a good view to listen to.

A.) People keep suggesting the girlfriend experience to me all the time. As I've told them the experience itself is still just an illusion and money is still their goal. Now don't get me wrong I'm not against role playing I'd just rather not play pretend for my virginity. Should the day come when I have to admit defeat and pay a prostitute I wouldn't have any idea on to look for a reliable source and with as low risk to getting arrested as possible because remember its against the law in most places to pay for sex....Someone suggested Nevada since it's legal there so there's an option I guess.

B.) :( People have suggested tinder to me alot too...thing is I've tried tinder a bunch of times but all I get are nothing but bots bots bots all the time...I don't want to just rely on keeping my fingers crossed and hope I get lucky which is usually how some relationships tend to start..But regardless I don't want love right now anyway...
Click to expand...

Actually, my understanding is that in most places it's illegal to accept money for sex (ie solicit) - the client hasn't inevitably committed a crime. That's how it was here until we revoked the stupid law.

I think you're creating a bit of a Catch 22 here - you want someone who 'wants' you to lose your virginity to, but you don't want a relationship.
You want absolute certainty of a result, but you don't want to pay for it.
It seems to me that your best bet is finding a girl who is nice enough to not see your virginity as a problem (but not a nice girl who wants a relationship) ... but you do come across as a little prickly, and possibly you're scaring those nice girls away.
You might just have to suck it up and take the less-than-100%-ideal option ... just saying. Sometimes we don't get all the things we want in life, and have to compromise a little.
 
Denny

NightL said:
Hmm so someone with more life experience could not possibly understand? Then there certainly is little hope for you, because if people lose reasoning power as they grow older you are not starting from a great place.

I would suggest most here have a very clear understanding of you.
Click to expand...
Not only is he stuck in his beliefs that life is over at 30 by being a virgin, he's the only male who masturbates a lot.
That leaves only a prostitute to make him an un-virgin which will make life better and the world will be a better place.
 
I've just looked at a couple of your other threads, and it's just a whirlpool of unhappiness and unrealistic expectations.
OK, so Tinder didn't work out - try another dating site that isn't so bot-laden ... or otherwise just persevere through the bot-storm. It obviously works for some people. Is it better to handle a few bots, or have a another decade of virginity?

Don't get so hung up on performance. I'm not sure where you're getting your information about 'women' from, but we're actually not that different from 'men' ... we just like someone who's interested and nice to us, and we're pretty forgiving of most flaws in human beings if those other factors are present. (I could cite examples from my current sex life to back this up.) Do NOT use (the vast majority of) porn as your information source ... that way lies madness.
 
Ladyrookie123 said:
Ooooh female perspective that's always a good view to listen to.
Click to expand...

Oh for goodness sake - for all these "me me me" threads you have started you have had many women offer comment and you have dismissed all their offerings immediately.

There are "Yes, but..." people - you, however, ask for opinion then go straight to the "but..."

Ladyrookie123, what you are is not unique. I have seen many like you come through Literotica flapping around with indecisiveness yet lapping up all the attention your inane posts will gather. You will carry this shit on for months and yet be in exactly the same spot for when you entered the board.
 
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NightL said:
Oh for goodness sake - for all these "me me me" threads you have started you have had many women offer comment and you have dismissed all their offerings immediately.

There are "Yes, but..." people - you, however, ask for opinion then go straight to the "but..."

Ladyrookie123, what you are is not unique. I have seen many like you come through Literotica flapping around with indecisiveness yet lapping up all the attention your inane posts will gather. You will carry this shit on for months and yet be in exactly the same spot for where you entered the board.
Click to expand...

He does seem a little fixated on finding reasons why any suggestions doesn't/won't work. I guess eventually Emma Stone will come riding in on her white unicorn, having heard of his charms from far and wide, sweep him up in her arms and whisk him away for a night of unbridled, caring, educational ... but commitment free ... passion, and then make him eggs in the morning.
Except he'll probably decide he'd prefer waffles, and tell her to go away.
 
Denny

Now I have a serious question............. Are all Unicorns white?
Also waffles would be better after a night of lovemaking.
 
LIVINRFANTASIES said:
Now I have a serious question............. Are all Unicorns white?
Also waffles would be better after a night of lovemaking.
Click to expand...

Surely he wouldn't reject her over unicorn colour?

And they're not making LOVE - he's been very clear about that!
 
KimGordon67 said:
He does seem a little fixated on finding reasons why any suggestions doesn't/won't work. I guess eventually Emma Stone will come riding in on her white unicorn, having heard of his charms from far and wide, sweep him up in her arms and whisk him away for a night of unbridled, caring, educational ... but commitment free ... passion, and then make him eggs in the morning.
Except he'll probably decide he'd prefer waffles, and tell her to go away.
Click to expand...

If Emma Stone just offered to make me eggs I'd be over the moon. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) she's purdy.

I recently watched a personal ad by a virginal man that just wanted a woman to basically be a limp doll that he could visit, not talk to her or really treat her like a person, stare at her and fondle her like an experiment and then leave. He's too shy or something and felt this scenario would help him get over his insecurities. A lot of people told him he was expecting way too much but he insisted this could totally work. The shocker: a gorgeous woman that is into dollification actually offered (with a chaperone) to let him do this. The real shocker: he turned her down for being over 40. :eek: The woman was in better shape than most 20 year olds I know. Everyone just couldn't believe he got a one in a million chance and he didn't take it.

That day I felt like flipping a table over the madness I had witnessed.
 
Denny

KimGordon67 said:
Surely he wouldn't reject her over unicorn colour?

And they're not making LOVE - he's been very clear about that!
Click to expand...
Oh! I'm old. I forgot the not making love part of lovemaking. I suppose the proper term is un-virginizing like I wrote somewhere earlier.

I'm still confused about Unicorn colors. I'd like to ride a black one.
 
MeekMe said:
If Emma Stone just offered to make me eggs I'd be over the moon. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) she's purdy.

I recently watched a personal ad by a virginal man that just wanted a woman to basically be a limp doll that he could visit, not talk to her or really treat her like a person, stare at her and fondle her like an experiment and then leave. He's too shy or something and felt this scenario would help him get over his insecurities. A lot of people told him he was expecting way too much but he insisted this could totally work. The shocker: a gorgeous woman that is into dollification actually offered (with a chaperone) to let him do this. The real shocker: he turned her down for being over 40. :eek: The woman was in better shape than most 20 year olds I know. Everyone just couldn't believe he got a one in a million chance and he didn't take it.

That day I felt like flipping a table over the madness I had witnessed.
Click to expand...
Now we are getting somewhere. A vinyl life like doll is the answer.
 
MeekMe said:
If Emma Stone just offered to make me eggs I'd be over the moon. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) she's purdy.

I totally would too - that's why I picked her. Purdy AND smart.

I recently watched a personal ad by a virginal man that just wanted a woman to basically be a limp doll that he could visit, not talk to her or really treat her like a person, stare at her and fondle her like an experiment and then leave. He's too shy or something and felt this scenario would help him get over his insecurities. A lot of people told him he was expecting way too much but he insisted this could totally work. The shocker: a gorgeous woman that is into dollification actually offered (with a chaperone) to let him do this. The real shocker: he turned her down for being over 40. :eek: The woman was in better shape than most 20 year olds I know. Everyone just couldn't believe he got a one in a million chance and he didn't take it.

That day I felt like flipping a table over the madness I had witnessed.
Click to expand...

Good grief. Is it bad that I find myself wondering how this guys was parented? I couldn't imagine my spawn treating women like that in a millions years.

[Side note - I did once have a guy (total stranger, online) ask if I'd let him masturbate in front of me. I could remain fully clothed - he just wanted a woman to watch him. I thought that was a bit odd, but you've totally outdone me.]
 
LIVINRFANTASIES said:
Oh! I'm old. I forgot the not making love part of lovemaking. I suppose the proper term is un-virginizing like I wrote somewhere earlier.

I'm still confused about Unicorn colors. I'd like to ride a black one.
Click to expand...

I think it's DE-virginising ... or deflowering maybe? Let's go with that ... sounds much nicer.
 
(Geez I leave the pad for a bit and I get more posts than I expected)

I think you're creating a bit of a Catch 22 here - you want someone who 'wants' you to lose your virginity to, but you don't want a relationship.
You want absolute certainty of a result, but you don't want to pay for it.
Click to expand...

Wanting me would be nice, but no I just want someone who knows I'm a virgin but is OKAY with the fact that I'm a virgin and is still willing. You are right that I want some kind of absolute certainty but unfortunately I'm aware that's not going to be easy.

NightL said:
Oh for goodness sake - for all these "me me me" threads you have started you have had many women offer comment and you have dismissed all their offerings immediately.

There are "Yes, but..." people - you, however, ask for opinion then go straight to the "but..."

Ladyrookie123, what you are is not unique. I have seen many like you come through Literotica flapping around with indecisiveness yet lapping up all the attention your inane posts will gather. You will carry this shit on for months and yet be in exactly the same spot for when you entered the board.
Click to expand...

I don't recall dismissing ANY advice given by both male or female other than paying for a prostitute(for now).

Not only is he stuck in his beliefs that life is over at 30 by being a virgin, he's the only male who masturbates a lot.
That leaves only a prostitute to make him an un-virgin which will make life better and the world will be a better place.
Click to expand...

-_- I never said that I'm the ONLY male virgin at my age who masturbates alot. I know there are probably plenty of guys like me who either are just as frustrated and confused on how to fix this as me, have a great method of distracting themselves from it, or have just given up.
And don't assume to know anything about me, sure there may have been people here like you described but trust me one way or another I don't intent on being stuck with THIS particular problem for long, I'm just trying to cover as many bases as possible before I make a choice.
 
Wanting me would be nice, but no I just want someone who knows I'm a virgin but is OKAY with the fact that I'm a virgin and is still willing.

If this were true, you'd be OK about paying someone. You're lack of desire to engage a professional suggests you're wanting someone who 'wants you' (and in fact, I'm pretty certain you've actually said that elsewhere, but I can't be arsed finding it right now). If you're just after 'willing', the commercial transaction creates that context.

You're really making it impossible for any solution to actually work, short of the Emma Stone/unicorn scenario - you do know that's not going to happen, eh?
 
KimGordon67 said:
I've just looked at a couple of your other threads, and it's just a whirlpool of unhappiness and unrealistic expectations.
OK, so Tinder didn't work out - try another dating site that isn't so bot-laden ... or otherwise just persevere through the bot-storm. It obviously works for some people. Is it better to handle a few bots, or have a another decade of virginity?

Don't get so hung up on performance. I'm not sure where you're getting your information about 'women' from, but we're actually not that different from 'men' ... we just like someone who's interested and nice to us, and we're pretty forgiving of most flaws in human beings if those other factors are present. (I could cite examples from my current sex life to back this up.) Do NOT use (the vast majority of) porn as your information source ... that way lies madness.
Click to expand...

I've tried Pof(Plenty of fish) and something about the layout of that site bothered me so I dismissed that site quick, But I tried Okcupid for about 2 years from when my desires began but I got no messages or when I tried to send messages I got no responses. What I think I need in this area is either strong luck to give me results for my efforts or tips on any kind of messages I could send that would increase my chances.

.......Yeah perhaps the type of women I've experienced and gotten to know over the years influenced how I've seen women. While I'm able to acknowledge that the type of women I've seen and interacted with don't make up the vast majority of girls it's a little difficult to get past that when certain types are all you've dealt with and I've dealt with some shallow superficial dismissive manipulative mean girls. And come now I'm not so ignorant that I would use porn as a information source for what women are like and what they are.
 
KimGordon67 said:
Wanting me would be nice, but no I just want someone who knows I'm a virgin but is OKAY with the fact that I'm a virgin and is still willing.

If this were true, you'd be OK about paying someone. You're lack of desire to engage a professional suggests you're wanting someone who 'wants you' (and in fact, I'm pretty certain you've actually said that elsewhere, but I can't be arsed finding it right now). If you're just after 'willing', the commercial transaction creates that context.

You're really making it impossible for any solution to actually work, short of the Emma Stone/unicorn scenario - you do know that's not going to happen, eh?
Click to expand...

Thing is a prostitute is just doing a job, sure a job they probably enjoy but a job nonetheless. And they're still most likely to not be sincere or acknowledging my virginity since the core reason they'd be banging me is so they can take my money and be done with it. Which I'd be PERFECTLY okay with if I wasn't a virgin still.

I want the memory of my first time to be a little more personal than that and not just a transaction. Otherwise I fear I'll just become that much more obsessed with getting laid the way I originally wanted.
 
MeekMe said:
If Emma Stone just offered to make me eggs I'd be over the moon. (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) she's purdy.

I recently watched a personal ad by a virginal man that just wanted a woman to basically be a limp doll that he could visit, not talk to her or really treat her like a person, stare at her and fondle her like an experiment and then leave. He's too shy or something and felt this scenario would help him get over his insecurities. A lot of people told him he was expecting way too much but he insisted this could totally work. The shocker: a gorgeous woman that is into dollification actually offered (with a chaperone) to let him do this. The real shocker: he turned her down for being over 40. :eek: The woman was in better shape than most 20 year olds I know. Everyone just couldn't believe he got a one in a million chance and he didn't take it.

That day I felt like flipping a table over the madness I had witnessed.
Click to expand...

Wow some people have some weird fetishes...
 
Ladyrookie123 said:
Thing is a prostitute is just doing a job, sure a job they probably enjoy but a job nonetheless. And they're still most likely to not be sincere or acknowledging my virginity since the core reason they'd be banging me is so they can take my money and be done with it. Which I'd be PERFECTLY okay with if I wasn't a virgin still.

I want the memory of my first time to be a little more personal than that and not just a transaction. Otherwise I fear I'll just become that much more obsessed with getting laid the way I originally wanted.
Click to expand...

You have a very narrow understanding of the sex industry and those who work in it. Research shows that a great deal of sex workers see their job as a social service, and that they have an important role in helping guys who are ... tah dah! ... socially awkward! My profession involves teaching, and yeah, I probably wouldn't do if I didn't get paid ... but I still love getting some learning into those kids, and getting them to enjoy it.

And again, you're just setting up barriers as fast as solutions are presented. Seriously, there just is no freaking unicorn. Go for the best available option and get on with it.
 
You also seem extremely confused about what you want. This very thread started with you stating that "I'd like to at least prepare myself for the inevitable shame and regret of losing my virginity to a lady of the night of some sort" (which is a sad way to look at it), but now you're completely discounting that as a possibility.
Maybe it would help if you developed a clear and consistent idea of what you want, stick with that, and stop putting up barriers to achieving it.
(I think I'm sounding horribly like Tony Robbins here.)
 
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