Cheating. The idea vs reality.

bigmane

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Sep 20, 2009
Posts
364
I was thinking about this.

The idea is very sexy, can make good stories
but what about reality?

Would you really want to cause strife between a couple?

I was contacted by a woman round here, she definitely was,
I asked enough questions.

The problem was she said her hubby didn't know.

You see, I have no way of knowing whether he in fact did and wouldn't
admit it.

I thought about it, then backed out.

I always like to talk to both of them, check everything out,
ensure nobody is going to get upset before I make any moves.

Is that not a wise consideration?

I've got enough worries of my own, the last thing I need
is an angry hubby on my back!
 
Right or wrong, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Been there. I knew that just by keeping up the *safe relationship* I had already come between the couple. When it came to go time, I couldn’t do it. I was kept a secret in his world while I was open to everyone in my life about him. I lived the cliche’, hoping that he would leave her for me. In my heart I always knew he wouldn’t. And, he never did. I finally walked away which was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes you have to tell your heart, No.
 
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Right or wrong, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Been there. I knew that just by keeping up the *safe relationship* I had already come between the couple. When it came to go time, I couldn’t do it. I was kept a secret in his world while I was open to everyone in my life about him. I lived the cliche’, hoping that he would leave her for me. In my heart I always knew
he wouldn’t. Still, the heart wants what the heart wants.


Well that's true.

Still, I just try to be honest, it can be a serious matter if you mess with someone's
relationship.

I do my best to behave myself.
 
My first time, can't tell what age I was, but she was 33 and married. Every Friday at 7 am I would watch her husband go off to work, then I would knock on her door and she would answer it naked. Spent two hours every Friday with her until her old man caught her with someone else on Friday afternoon.:eek:
 
Right or wrong, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Been there. I knew that just by keeping up the *safe relationship* I had already come between the couple. When it came to go time, I couldn’t do it. I was kept a secret in his world while I was open to everyone in my life about him. I lived the cliche’, hoping that he would leave her for me. In my heart I always knew he wouldn’t. And, he never did. I finally walked away which was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Yes, the heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes you have to tell your heart, No.

Do you still love him?
 
Strange thing with me:

No way IN THE WORLD would I cause a married woman to commit adultery with me. But here's me, married decades and happily, really, really wanting to be the 'third' with a married couple who desire something spiced up for themselves, and I don't think that my woman is ready to know about that ....
 
Strange thing with me:

No way IN THE WORLD would I cause a married woman to commit adultery with me. But here's me, married decades and happily, really, really wanting to be the 'third' with a married couple who desire something spiced up for themselves, and I don't think that my woman is ready to know about that ....

my wife and i
have discussed this
and have come to
the conclusion we
have no friends we
want to fuck.

which kinda blew me away.
that
it's something she has
considered.
 
No problem with that.

Some things are quite honestly better left to fantasy.
 
Cheating is whatever you say it is. Or isn't. See my piece What is Cheating?

Summary: Your relationship has stated and/or unstated rules. Cheating breaks those rules. Consequences vary depending on the rules and the cheats.
 
I can understand the supposed scintillation and excitement of getting it on but the reality is that it isn't pleasant when you see/experience the fallout of someone cheating and getting caught.
 
I can understand the supposed scintillation and excitement of getting it on but the reality is that it isn't pleasant when you see/experience the fallout of someone cheating and getting caught.
My mother's cheating destroyed our family and sent my life into a tailspin.

I despise cheating IRL. I also despise the reality of most incest: rape. As an author, those are story backgrounds, realms where players spin-out their sins for readers' entertainment. LIT audiences want excitement, not filthy reality.
 
Neither the heart nor the head is generally the lead.

Echo that.
There's a certain intensity of the swell-up that happens for a man, which takes over from the thinking and feeling big time, Like Big Time.
 
The reality? Shock, fear and sadness for the partner who didn't know.
Never, ever cheat! If you must have sex with someone other than your partner, for goodness sake do the honourable thing and either tell them upfront or leave the relationship.
Nothing like finding out and then having to head down to the clinic for a screen... while dealing with the emotional fallout of betrayal.

Cheaters are scum.
 
The reality? Shock, fear and sadness for the partner who didn't know.
Never, ever cheat! If you must have sex with someone other than your partner, for goodness sake do the honourable thing and either tell them upfront or leave the relationship.
Nothing like finding out and then having to head down to the clinic for a screen... while dealing with the emotional fallout of betrayal.

Cheaters are scum.


Isn't the more loving thing to not get caught?
Most people cheat on their partners.
Shouldn't they learn to do it properly so as to prevent causing unnecessary harm to peoples' feelings?
 
If the outside-the-lines f*cking is all agreed upon by each party involved, dive on in and have a blast. That said (and my own beliefs and ideology mostly aside), I've always felt that if one or the other in the original partnership wants to cheat, but doesn't want to leave as a result, and decides to step outside the agreed upon relationship boundaries (whatever those may be), at the very least, keep it under wraps. Most people don't want to be cheated on, so if one chooses to cheat, one should be uber discreet and spare the other person the angst and pain of finding out. Unless one goes the passive-aggressive route because they want be caught in the hopes of blowing everything to smithereens (aka- cowards acting badly).

At best, it's a tricky slope no matter how it's approached. At worst...well, it's pretty awful.
 
I think so.

Quote:
Some 88% of women said that they were more concerned about their partners being engaged in an emotional affair than a physical one.

I'm replying to you Liam for that quote you put up. I can echo it in our relationship. If either of us got emotionally involved with another, it would be devastating. But a few years back we had a two year period when sex was out for us for reasons of her health. Drove me to Lit actually! But here's the thing: she gave me a hall pass to go get a good fuck if I needed it. I chose not to as happens. But if I had, our relationship would have survived it. Just as, when she started getting better, her hearing about my posts and flirts on Lit helped us stoke up a sex life all over again.

Yeah. I reckon that there needs to be a bit more space, culturally, for the notion of lust-sex / sport-sex / pent-up-relief-sex alongside married sex. For the man, for the woman, or for both. Frankly, it would be more honest.
 
Quote]

Yeah. I reckon that there needs to be a bit more space, culturally, for the notion of lust-sex / sport-sex / pent-up-relief-sex alongside married sex. For the man, for the woman, or for both. Frankly, it would be more honest.
And that reality, with the honesty, would make the idea of it all a not-so-slippery slope in many ways.
 
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