Bhrt

Anyone have any experience with BHRT or any knowledge of it? My wife started experiencing menopausal symptoms almost a year ago. Her overall willingness to have sex and thoroughly enjoy it is still there, but her libido has gradually declined over the years to the point where she doesn't crave it or ever initiate any more. We still have sex once or twice a week and she uses her toys by herself at least a couple times a week by herself (with my encouragement). But she describes her solo activities as merely transactional - just a quick release to buzz one out in a minute or two before her morning shower when she's alone in the house.

The situation is disappointing to me and bothers her too, so she's going to a clinic called Renew today to be tested. And she's excited about the possibilities based on the recommendations of 2 friends who have been going there for 2 years.

I realize that this "clinic" is in the business of selling BHRT so almost every person her age (48) will have lower hormone levels than when they were younger, and thus be considered a candidate for their service/products. So we both expect that they will put her on the program. She's excited about the prospect of getting her old horniness back and I am too. But I'd love to hear from anyone here who has been through it. What was your experience and what should I/we expect.

So, you have sex a couple of times a week, and she "buzzes one out" with her vibrator a couple of times a week on top of that. This doesn't sound to me like a severly lagging libido in need of medical intervention. It sounds probably normal or even above the norm for woman in even younger age groups than your wife.

I'm going to throw something out there, and you can take this however you like, but I would suggest that before she starts putting artificial hormones into her body, maybe it's her mind that needs a bit more excitement to raise her interest level. A woman's mind is equally if not more important than her estrogen levels to her arousal and sexual response. I would encourage you to explore a non-chemical solution to what you (and it would seem your wife) are perceiving as some sort of sexual dysfunction. You say her overal willingness and ability to enjoy sex is still there, so maybe you just need to put a little more effort into helping her want it as much as she did when she was in her younger years.

I never had what you'd call erectile dysfunction but I had less libido and 98 pound weakling ejaculations (EMERSON SYNDROME). So a year ago I went in for a physical and discovered I had high blood pressure. My MD put me on meds and my libido went sky high quickly, and a year later my ejaculations are stronger than when I was 19. Semen volume is increased a lot, too. In fact, my frequent and elevated arousal is a pain in the ass as it doesn't wanna wait for a good place and a good time.

Forty-eight is prime time for blood pressure problems, and blood pressure affects arousal.

So, you have sex a couple of times a week, and she "buzzes one out" with her vibrator a couple of times a week on top of that. This doesn't sound to me like a severly lagging libido in need of medical intervention. It sounds probably normal or even above the norm for woman in even younger age groups than your wife.

To use her own words, "I'm never really interested in it. I know it's always enjoyable once we get started so it's not hard to say yes." And then there's this description of her solo activities, "it's not about being horny at all, it's just that I know it won't take long and it feels good." It also sounds like you're confusing the ability to respond sexually with the desire for sex. Wiki definition of libido: Libido, colloquially known as sex drive, is a person's overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity.

I know you mean well and I hope I don't sound defensive, but I'm really looking for anyone who might have any experiences they can share. Did it work for them or someone they know? Was it a failure? Were there unexpected side effects? I don't have the time to fully explain everything we have tried together to help the situation. It's difficult in this type of forum to go into all the details of years of trying to improve tough situation.

You didn't say how old you or your wife are, but if she started menopause symptoms I'm guessing somewhere in your late 40's to 50's? That's about when my wife started. She/we had some issues with dryness but she didn't really lose too much libido, although if she/you folks are still having sex at least two times a week, that's about normal for that age. The question is really if she's unhappy about it or YOU'RE unhappy about it and making her feel unhappy about it or if it's both of you.

In our particular case, we had to work around the dryness issues with lube and more oral sex. My wife did NOT want to go on long-term hormone replacement therapy because of what she's read about the side effects. You need to do some research and get a second opinion before popping hormone pills or shooting creams, etc. The same would apply to a guy who just ups and starts smearing on the testosterone cream when he hits 50. There are certain things going on in our bodies that we sometimes shouldn't mess with. There can be negative aspects of it.

It's not my place to tell anybody what to do about their sex life, but as we get older (and trust me, I'm OLDER) we sometimes have to adjust our definition of sex. It's not just fucking. It can be more oral, mutual masturbation, fun with more toys, a little BDSM to add spice, etc. What's important is the mutual enjoyment and satisfaction. So, just a suggestion, do some reading about menopause, talk to some other doctors, start thinking about modifying the definition of "sex". My wife and I are entering our 70's and still having lots of "sex" although it's not always what a twenty-something might call sex. Good luck, seriously. Just be wise about HRT.

I recently started bio-identical hormone replacement therapy as part of an effort to re-gain control over my health and well-being. It's only been 6 weeks and due to a nasty cold, I haven't had the follow-up lab work and checkup to see what the numbers are now.
As the BHRT is only a portion of the new things in my daily regimen, it's difficult to separate its effects from that of the other changes.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, asthma, and a low-functioning thyroid in addition to the ridiculously low numbers of hormones present in my blood.
With the right meds for the allergies/asthma, BP, and supplemental thyroid plus the BHRt, I feel much better. I am not exhausted all the time. I have more energy, and slowly, my libido is coming back. Enough to set me wondering the net and finding myself here and staying up late reading.
So give it a whirl - the bio-identical hormones are much safer to use than the usual synthetic ones. (I chose to skip standard HRT due to the cancer risks).
A full physical, blood work up - including a full thyroid workup T3, T4, and TSH should be part of the initial process.
One caveat - for the first few weeks after starting bhrt, my emotions were very close to the surface and difficult for me to handle. (Mostly due to MY issues) I've been post-menopausal for several years and had forgotten how the moods could change.
Anyway - I hope this helps and I'm happy to answer any questions you have - just don't have a lot of experience with them so far.

If you're going to a clinic that deals in compounded pills/pellets/implants/etc, it is wise to gather more information specific to their product. Often, they'll call it a "proprietary blend" or some other equivalent to a signature cocktail, leaving you less aware of what you're actually taking. It makes it difficult sometimes to check interactions between your hormone-related components and other things that you may be taking/eating/drinking. Personally, I won't buy from anyone who is reluctant to share a true list of ingredients

Laluai and GiggLe, thank you both for your input. My wife did the whole evaluation and blood analysis, etc. Turns out her thyroid is fine, but all her hormones were way below normal for a 47 year-old. She started on her bhrt regimen 2 weeks ago today so we should know how it works out in the next few weeks.

Go see a real doctor. Sounds like she is normal woman to me. Not menapausal at all, at best pre-menapausal and could take years to get to next stage.
Maybe you need the help to find out how to please her more, she is just bored.

GforGraham said:

Go see a real doctor. Sounds like she is normal woman to me. Not menapausal at all, at best pre-menapausal and could take years to get to next stage.
Maybe you need the help to find out how to please her more, she is just bored.

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The "clinic", as I referred to it in my OP, is owned and operated by two MD's (in this country that means they are real doctors). They are on staff full time as this is their only practice, not a side business. I used quotation marks because I'm a little cynical. I feel that just because someone is an MD, doesn't mean they're not trying to make money by steering patients in a particular direction, no matter how strongly they believe in what they're doing.