Question about Gaydar

I was in a bar one night and met a younger guy, maybe between 25 to 30 I would guess, and I'm in my sixties.

There was a crowd of people, young guys and girls drinking and throwing darts. One by one they left and we were left alone at a table far from the bar and other patrons.

This young man knew. He knew somehow, that I was a cock sucker. I was totally shocked but could not see the reaction of my own face. It was a surreal moment that I'll never forget. The one and only time this has happened to me so far.

I'm not feminine in appearance, just go places like anybody else. But he knew. He knew I knew!

I wasted no time telling him I loved to suck cock. I offered to blow him as I've never sucked a guy's cock in a car. Instead he took me home, and I blew him for a nice long time. It was a wonderful surprise for me, but has this happened to anyone else?

This incident scared me because I live deep in a closet. No one knows I need to give blowjobs. But this younger guy did. I'm still wondering how he knew.

I was glad to get into bed with him and make love to his cock.

He probably saw you looking at crotches and licking your lips, and even you didn't realize you were doing it.
Just a guess not trying to be a smart ass, but if you love to suck that much maybe in certain situations you have a tell.

I think "Gaydar" is a thing

I've had a similar experience. The guy was openly gay and later told me he knew I was curious and created the opportunity to make a move on me.

He told me he can pick up a certain "vibe" from guys.

Sunnyade said:

I've had a similar experience. The guy was openly gay and later told me he knew I was curious and created the opportunity to make a move on me.

He told me he can pick up a certain "vibe" from guys.

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I've wondered about that myself if gay guys can tell you want to try things..

A 60 yo in a college bar is a good clue. Today's young men are pretty hip.

I was 20 something home on leave, sitting in what I thought was a straight bar on Bourbon street. I was looking at what I presumed is a girl and a older man sits beside me at the bar. He knew. I do not know how but he knew more about me than I did. I loved the feeling of being a girl picked up by a Man.

I'm grateful that. . .

You guys took the time to send replies, this unseen knowledge that men have that can pin you down like that is mysterious as hell.

At the same time though, we were alone, and I was not ashamed whatsoever to tell him I really liked to suck cock, and asked him if I could blow him somewhere very soon. We left together and no one seemed to notice.

It was not a college bar, just a normal neighborhood place.

Have not seen him since.

I think you did real well. Most of us would love to find our selves in the same situation. Some times we send subliminal messages that enter a guys brain and flips his bic. I wish you could figure out what that might have been so you could keep on doing it. I know some times a guy gets turned on listening to the way you talk about it. One guy told me to wait awhile cause he wanted to hear me talk about it. Then he would get hard and hot to trot. I guess its rare though.

I took a male friend to a party once at another friend's house. The friend who lived at the house was gay but at that point in time, not openly so. Keep in mind that the time frame was early 1980's. I believe that the male friend that I brought to the party was also gay but he took great pains to deny it.

He had hung his jacket over the back of a chair. It was a brown leather jacket in almost a blazer style. Three guys that I didn't know, looked at the jacket, laughed, and one said, "Who's the gay guy?"

I hadn't thought much about it before, but in those days it was far more common for men who wore leather coats to wear ones that were black and bomber style. This particular friend also had almost all of his clothes altered to tightly, including the backs of his shirts and his jeans so they hugged his butt. I don't think most straight men would go to those lengths.

Another time, perhaps a few years later, I went to an outdoor event with a gay male friend. We were walking around and he was pointing to the other gay guys. In some cases it had something to do with their wardrobe. One thing I remember was putting bleach on the crotch of their jeans. I can't remember the other specifics. And in some cases, I never would have guessed.

Sunnyade said:

I've had a similar experience. The guy was openly gay and later told me he knew I was curious and created the opportunity to make a move on me.

He told me he can pick up a certain "vibe" from guys.

Click to expand...

I don't know how I would react if a man picked up on the fact that I would love to become a cock sucker. I wouldn't object to finding out though!

Gaydar and Bidar among men can range from recognition of obvious sexual flaunting to something that is much more subtle.

Guys who are straight to the point of homophobia have a certain communication wall that most bi and gay men can sense. These straight guys are not very approachable, and greatly limit their range of "acceptable conversation topics" with other men. They also tend not to be good listeners, and express their displeasure with certain topics or behaviors by other men with uncomfortable body language.

Bi and gay men are more likely to establish eye contact with other men, tend to have a more open body language, and are generally more willing to listen to other men and talk about a wider range of topics, frequently including topics that reflect inner thoughts and feelings. They tend to be a lot easier to hang out with.

Sometimes straight men will fit into the second category. Really astute gaydar goes even deeper, I think. It gets into very subtle facial expressions or voice modulation or body postures that are apparently unique to men who have had some satisfying sexual experiences with other men.

I had an experience like this i was on a family vacation in the bahamas. Everyone was drinking pretty hard during the day and after dinner everyone was tired and went back to their rooms to relax and go to bed. I was bored and decided to walk around the hotel a bit, there was this bar off of the casino in the resort and i saw the yankee baseball game was on so i stopped in there for a drink and to watch the game. About 20 mins passed and this guy in his early 50s came over and started talking to me about the baseball game and then we started joking about how much the drinks at the hotel cost. We were just having small talk not flirting or anything @ least that i realized at all (i had never done anything with a guy up till this point). He was telling me how he had left the resort that day and bought alcohol and brought It back to hotel so he didnt have to spend so much money on the drinks there, he asked if i wanted to go hang out in his suite where the drinks were $12 each. I agreed once we got to his room within minutes he made his move, i jumped up and was like what are you doing.. It was just a reaction and he just laughed and said come one stop i got all the signs from you, no ones here you dont have to worry about anyone finding out. That ended up being my first experience ever with another guy. I like you are extremely closeted and I'm always wondering and over thinking how the hell that guy knew & what signs could i have possibly given so that i know to be more careful and not to that around people in my everyday life to make them suspicious.

I rarely do this, but I went for a walk in the park a few months ago just to see what would happen. After 30 minutes of nothing other than some eye contact, I started to walk back to my car. A guy driving by slowed down and looked right at me. I looked back. He already had me figued out, and I was just walking. He watched me get in my car, then he drove next to me and looked at me again. He drove off slow and I followed. He parked next to a trail head, got out and looked at me again. He walked up the trail and I followed. After a bend or two in the trail, he stepped into a thicket, unzipped and presented a semi hard cock. He knew I was a cock sucker, I don’t know how. No words were said, I went down on him. He was now hard and started to fuck my mouth and throat. He grabbed the back of my head and pushed his cock deeper as he seeded my throat. He didn’t warn me or ask, he just did (which is my preference). I sucked until he was fully drained. He whispered “thanks, wait until I drive off before you leave”.

That was it. He knew as soon as he saw me that I was going to suck his cock. Funny thing is this guy was very unassuming looking and the last thing I expected from him was alpha behavior. I actually thought he was going to ask to suck mine. I’m a total bottom, so something about me must give it away.

coati said:

Gaydar and Bidar among men can range from recognition of obvious sexual flaunting to something that is much more subtle.

Guys who are straight to the point of homophobia have a certain communication wall that most bi and gay men can sense. These straight guys are not very approachable, and greatly limit their range of "acceptable conversation topics" with other men. They also tend not to be good listeners, and express their displeasure with certain topics or behaviors by other men with uncomfortable body language.

Bi and gay men are more likely to establish eye contact with other men, tend to have a more open body language, and are generally more willing to listen to other men and talk about a wider range of topics, frequently including topics that reflect inner thoughts and feelings. They tend to be a lot easier to hang out with.

Sometimes straight men will fit into the second category. Really astute gaydar goes even deeper, I think. It gets into very subtle facial expressions or voice modulation or body postures that are apparently unique to men who have had some satisfying sexual experiences with other men.

Click to expand...

So, what could be said safely or body language that could get the conversation headed that way.

Is this true

coati said:

Gaydar and Bidar among men can range from recognition of obvious sexual flaunting to something that is much more subtle.

Guys who are straight to the point of homophobia have a certain communication wall that most bi and gay men can sense. These straight guys are not very approachable, and greatly limit their range of "acceptable conversation topics" with other men. They also tend not to be good listeners, and express their displeasure with certain topics or behaviors by other men with uncomfortable body language.

Bi and gay men are more likely to establish eye contact with other men, tend to have a more open body language, and are generally more willing to listen to other men and talk about a wider range of topics, frequently including topics that reflect inner thoughts and feelings. They tend to be a lot easier to hang out with.

Sometimes straight men will fit into the second category. Really astute gaydar goes even deeper, I think. It gets into very subtle facial expressions or voice modulation or body postures that are apparently unique to men who have had some satisfying sexual experiences with other men.

Click to expand...

Would like to know some of the signs and try them...

thongpanty said:

Would like to know some of the signs and try them...

Click to expand...

Likewise

I've written about his before but...here it is again.

When I was in my early twenties, after a game of tennis a friend and I went over to his boss' house so I could score some weed. His boss's name was Ralph. He was in his mid to late thirties, short, rotund, and balding. He was also flamboyantly gay with, no offense intended to anyone, all of the stereotypical mannerisms and diction of an effeminate gay. My friend always said Ralph was a "real salad queen", which I didn't find till later meant he had a proclivity for "tossing salad" or performing analingus.

Ralph was an RN who, as an investment, owned a fast food restaurant franchise where my friend was the manager. On numerous occasions, when I had gone by the restaurant when Ralph was there or to his house (usually to score weed) he had hit on me with statements about how "yummy" I looked, or how he'd like to "suck my socks off" and others. I, of course, rebuffed his advances since I "was straight" (though secretly bi, with a long term male lover) and I feared being perceived as anything else.

On this one occasion, however, I succumbed to his charms (or something). We had gone into his house where we sat down at the coffee table and had quite a few hits off of a bong. I was fairly wasted. As was typical, Ralph had the merchandise, and the scales to weigh it, in the bedroom and I followed him in to watch him weigh it and make the buy. He closed the door, as he usually did, since there were other people in the house and he didn't want them to see our transaction.

After completing the transaction, Ralph pulled out a pharmaceutical looking box and asked if I'd like some "poppers". I told him I didn't even know what they were and he gave a brief explanation adding that they were great as an enhancement for sex (that's always good for me...I thought). He popped one of the ampules and, after taking a few sniffs himself, held it under my nose. This was medical grade stuff, real amyl nitrite and not the junk they sell now. With a just few tentative whiffs my head swam a little bit and I felt warm and a little euphoric.

"That's not enough," Ralph said. "Here. Sit on the edge of the bed and take a few good snorts." I sat down and he took a few deep hits himself, as if demonstrating, before again holding the ampule under my nose. As instructed, I took a few deep snorts and held the last one in like I would a hit off of a joint.

I immediately felt faint, almost passed out, and barely perceived what was going on as Ralph gently pushed on my chest till I was lying on my back with my legs dangling over the edge of the bed. It took little effort for him to pull my gym shorts down and my jock aside to expose my involuntarily hardening cock. Before I knew it, he had my cock in his mouth and was giving me a blow job as I became hard as rock. I could have resisted, had a really wanted to, but it felt so good as to be almost surreal.

When I asked for "another hit", Ralph grabbed a fresh ampule, popped it and put it in my hand. I immediately took two, maybe three more, deep sniffs as he continued to minister to my dick. While my head was really swimming from the last hits, he lifted up my balls and buried his tongue in my ass before replacing it with a finger, and then two. With a laugh, he mentioned that I was "looser than he thought..." and I knew right then that he knew I was no anal virgin. He continued to expertly suck my cock, and finger my ass, telling me to take a big hit off the popper just as I felt like I was going to cum.

That's what I did. Time seemed to be distorted, extended, stretched out, and just as felt like my orgasm was inevitable I took another couple of big snorts off the ampule of amyl. My head swam, I felt a little dizzy, and it was like all I could really feel were the sensations coming from my cock. My orgasm seemed to last forever as I shot jet after jet of cum into Ralph's hungry mouth. Everything around me faded into darkness and nothing existed but my spurting cock.

While still holding my softening cock in his mouth, Ralph chuckled. I think he was amused from his new found knowledge that there was more to me than met the eye, and that I was not necessarily the persona that I wanted everyone to see. When he felt that I was absolutely drained, and that he'd sucked every drop of semen from my penis, he tucked it back into my jock and stood up.

When I sat up, he held his fingers to his lips, as if shushing, and said "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." Referring to the revelation that I was not an anal virgin as much as to what we'd just done.

"Thanks, " I said, "And can I guy some poppers."

thongpanty said:

Would like to know some of the signs and try them...

Click to expand...

There really is no formula involved here, unless you happen to be in a known cruising area for quick anonymous sex. A lot of times guys in that situation will make strong moves, such as a few that were mentioned in previous posts.

I am more interested in sex that has more of a build-up and subtlety associated with it, so I am always alert for men who are willing to communicate. That is the most important factor.

Here is what I have learned about the signs. Good eye contact, good listener, willing to talk about much more than the job or sports, open body language (not overly defensive), facial expressions of appreciation, a comfortable tone of voice, a warm and non-competitive handshake or a friendly pat on the arm.

If most of those signs are there, sometimes the conversation can head toward past relationships or some other discussion about what you look for in a friendship. When you share human-to-human stories, you are revealing that you like to relate to other humans. When you tell a guy that you have apprciated good friendships with both men and women, it lets them know that you are safe to talk with, if they desire to do so.

As with women, all of this conversation is a whole lot easier if you are not fixed on getting sex right then and if it is kept fairly light and humorous. If there is a feeling of trust, you can eventually reveal a lot about yourself and have him feel comfortable to do the same.

Whether it happens fast or not, once it is revealed that you both are interested in some sort of sexual activity, then it is important to talk briefly about past sexual experiences and safe sex.

coati said:

There really is no formula involved here, unless you happen to be in a known cruising area for quick anonymous sex. A lot of times guys in that situation will make strong moves, such as a few that were mentioned in previous posts.

I am more interested in sex that has more of a build-up and subtlety associated with it, so I am always alert for men who are willing to communicate. That is the most important factor.

Here is what I have learned about the signs. Good eye contact, good listener, willing to talk about much more than the job or sports, open body language (not overly defensive), facial expressions of appreciation, a comfortable tone of voice, a warm and non-competitive handshake or a friendly pat on the arm.

If most of those signs are there, sometimes the conversation can head toward past relationships or some other discussion about what you look for in a friendship. When you share human-to-human stories, you are revealing that you like to relate to other humans. When you tell a guy that you have apprciated good friendships with both men and women, it lets them know that you are safe to talk with, if they desire to do so.

As with women, all of this conversation is a whole lot easier if you are not fixed on getting sex right then and if it is kept fairly light and humorous. If there is a feeling of trust, you can eventually reveal a lot about yourself and have him feel comfortable to do the same.

Whether it happens fast or not, once it is revealed that you both are interested in some sort of sexual activity, then it is important to talk briefly about past sexual experiences and safe sex.

Click to expand...

You seem to have a fairly good handle on "Gaydar"

I certainly felt increasingly more comfortable in his company and opened up more than I would usually in a similar situation. It made it easy to accept an advance from him and take the opportunity to exercise my Bi curiosity.

Incidentally, he can also read Females with uncanny accuracy and I'm sure he would have plenty of success if he was that way inclined.

I wish I would bump into some guy with really good gay/bidar!

I thought my ex was completely straight. Then one night we were having a threesome with another guy and halfway through he was sucking the 3rd's dick and begging to have him cum all over his face.

Then a variation of that happened again. And once before that.

So, mine obviously doesn't work.

mine does not work either

I wish I could send and pick up on this. I have seen guys on the street, and recognized them form the ABS. but never hit on them, I did one guy, and still get to suck him on different occasions. now the Arcade is closed, so it makes it more difficult.

when I was younger

my crazy gf in cali would tell me some guy was checking me out. I never saw it. When I lived alone I kept my place real nice and often made meals for friends or girls that I wanted to be with. I know some thought I was gay, cuz men's houses are a mess, right??? One female asked me once, I said no. Another time a female asked me to take her to a gay bar. She was one of my roommates at the time. She was pretty much nude, wearing nothing. Fuck! I should have said yes! I am trying to find gay dudes to flirt with. I'm not a cheater, but I can flirt.

hot

vikkihawe000 said:

I thought my ex was completely straight. Then one night we were having a threesome with another guy and halfway through he was sucking the 3rd's dick and begging to have him cum all over his face.

Then a variation of that happened again. And once before that.

So, mine obviously doesn't work.

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what did you do after the guy came all over his face? what did you say?