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DVS Inspired Asshole Chatter

DVS said:
Since the title of this thread has my name in it, I feel obligated to post. But, all I can add to the discussion is common sense.

The best thing to do is use more than you think you need until the time comes when you both decide when enough is enough. Yes, I said both. This isn't a dom decision. The submissive has an equal vote because they know first hand what it feels like.
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No need to feel obligated, but happy for your input :) It seems that common sense is always in short supply...
And I love your views on the rights of subs, THANK YOU, SIR!!! I wish more people had this view. I hate to see the evidence of poorly treated, poorly regarded subs...


DVS said:
Not enough lube usually results in too much friction which can cause abrasions or scratches inside the anal canal. That inner wall of tissue is very sensitive and any scratch or abrasion can end up taking a long and painful time to heal. And with the type of bacteria that frequents that area, healing can also be difficult.
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:eek: This is exactly the kind of thing I want to avoid...


DVS said:
Take care of your toys. This is a favorite toy of mine. It's stupid to assume one's anus doesn't need to be cared for, just like any other bodily orifice...or toy. The anal sphincter is a muscle and it can be kept healthy. The tissue inside the anal canal is very tender and easily damaged. I listen to my partner. If she says she doesn't want any anal, I have to respect that. She knows her body.
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I would also add here to take care of your vibrating toys, too :) There is toy cleaner on the market, a spray cleaner for just this purpose. Bacterial bugs can be mean critters...

DVS said:
In another thread I made the comment that I had recently experienced a 60 year old's tight anus and somebody seemed to think that was unlikely. But, it's true. Maybe I'm lucky, but once someone is in their 60s, it isn't the end of sex. Everybody take care of your body and you'll be having kinky sex in your 60s, too.:cool:
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*Raises hand* That was me! I didn't think it unlikely, but could not resist the obvious joke. And that is exactly what got my head spinning in this direction, so thanks for sharing :)
 
I didn't think it unlikely, but could not resist the obvious joke.
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Interesting thing about BDSM-- there's a long tradition of respect for sexy old people. Back when I was just finding the community, mid nineties, there was a Mistress Carole in Chicago. She was well into her 70s, in failing health, and one of the most highly respected people-- Baby butches, macho Domly doms, even the leather men-- If you said you had trained under Mistress Carole, you were the shit. And to be invited to bottom for her and serve her was a real honor...
 
Stella_Omega said:
Interesting thing about BDSM-- there's a long tradition of respect for sexy old people. Back when I was just finding the community, mid nineties, there was a Mistress Carole in Chicago. She was well into her 70s, in failing health, and one of the most highly respected people-- Baby butches, macho Domly doms, even the leather men-- If you said you had trained under Mistress Carole, you were the shit. And to be invited to bottom for her and serve her was a real honor...
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I love and adore respect and tradition. Perhaps that's part of why I'm a BDSM kind of girl :)
 
ecstaticsub said:
In my experience...

Anal kegels are just as important as vaginal kegels. Due to a complicated hysterectomy over ten years ago I had pelvic physical therapy using bio-feedback using both vaginal and anal probes. Learning how to tighten and completely relax those muscle is very helpful sexually and for overall health.

I would also recommend anyone who has had more than one sexual partner and has had anal sex or plays with anal toys to ask for anal Pap smear with HPV testing. I work in a hospital and have seen too many cases of anal cancer in patients ages 30-70. Anal cancer is very slow growing. Like cervical cancer if pre-cancerous lesions are caught early many times cancer mortality can be prevented. The tests are not not routinely and many doctors will say it is not needed. But I would recommend them especially if you have ever had a positive cervical Pap or genital( or anal) warts.
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I just want this to be seen by recent viewers. I have a dear friend who has gone through really awful stuff because of anal cancer due to HPV. The radiation burns she had to endure were a nightmare! She was most terrified of leaving two young children untimely, but is closing in on her 5-year survival date.

Please be vigilant! And if you have youngsters who aren't sexually active yet, be sure to get them vaccinated!!!
 
This thread needs to be read by anyone interested in anal. I've learned some interesting things....I love anal but didn't realize that I should be getting tested. And I never really used lube before but that may have to change...

Now are anal kegels when you clamp your ass cheeks together really tightly because I can't figure that one out?
 
Yes, thanks to ES I talked to my doc about testing. It wasn't a fun conversation :eek: but the shocker for me was that she had never been asked to do an anal HPV test before, I was the first. She had never even heard of it! :eek:

She didn't actually know how / what to sample with, etc. After discussing it she researched it for me and we came up with a plan. She thanked me for bringing it up, because she says she is now better prepared to take care of her patients. I was encouraged in how she handled it all, and pleased to think I might have helped preserve someone else's health.
 
Collar_N_Cuffs said:
Yes, thanks to ES I talked to my doc about testing. It wasn't a fun conversation :eek: but the shocker for me was that she had never been asked to do an anal HPV test before, I was the first. She had never even heard of it! :eek:

She didn't actually know how / what to sample with, etc. After discussing it she researched it for me and we came up with a plan. She thanked me for bringing it up, because she says she is now better prepared to take care of her patients. I was encouraged in how she handled it all, and pleased to think I might have helped preserve someone else's health.
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That's pretty amazing :D and groundbreaking too. I bet it was super awkward though.
 
IyaMemora said:
That's pretty amazing :D and groundbreaking too. I bet it was super awkward though.
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Well, you might think so... and it was for me, initially. But my doctor is all about my healthcare, and the conversation was all about medical health and not about my behaviour, so nope. Not really awkward at all. It's why I only will go to women doctors, though, when possible. I just feel more comfortable talking to them about my health. There's really no room for modesty or embarrassment when it comes to that.
 
Collar_N_Cuffs said:
Yes, thanks to ES I talked to my doc about testing. It wasn't a fun conversation :eek: but the shocker for me was that she had never been asked to do an anal HPV test before, I was the first. She had never even heard of it! :eek:

She didn't actually know how / what to sample with, etc. After discussing it she researched it for me and we came up with a plan. She thanked me for bringing it up, because she says she is now better prepared to take care of her patients. I was encouraged in how she handled it all, and pleased to think I might have helped preserve someone else's health.
Click to expand...


That is fantastic to hear! I'm impressed she researched it and got back to you.
:)
 
IyaMemora said:
This thread needs to be read by anyone interested in anal. I've learned some interesting things....I love anal but didn't realize that I should be getting tested. And I never really used lube before but that may have to change...

Now are anal kegels when you clamp your ass cheeks together really tightly because I can't figure that one out?
Click to expand...

Keep in mind that the relaxation phase of the kegels is just as important as the tightening phase. For anal kegels it's not your ass cheeks that you tighten it is the anal sphincter that you want to fully relax and then tighten. To fully relax the sphincter it will actually feel like you are pushing out a little. Using a small anal toy may help.
 
Good Collars_N_Cuffs I applaud your bravery and concern for your health.
 
Ageism is ugly. Sex at older ages is or can be very good. This year my 54th, I have had to adjust to using lube. It was a hit to my self esteem and image I can tell you that but that was for PIV sex.

Anal sex has always involved lube and unlike in Brokeback Mountain more than just spit. The first time we tried it, because I always so naturally wet we used my own fluids. It NOT enough! Ouch!

We used lube and went slow, it was amazing.

I found anal kegels by wanting to make it easier on both of us and later enhance the experience.

Call me unwise but I'm planning on skipping the Ob-gyn for several years. Recently studies have shown the pap smear to be of little value now. I don't need birth control pills anymore. I'll go when and if I have an issue.
 
ecstaticsub said:
Keep in mind that the relaxation phase of the kegels is just as important as the tightening phase. For anal kegels it's not your ass cheeks that you tighten it is the anal sphincter that you want to fully relax and then tighten. To fully relax the sphincter it will actually feel like you are pushing out a little. Using a small anal toy may help.
Click to expand...

...I'm so not doing this right lol. I need help :confused:
 
I agree with all the health statements and concerns. A lot of people don't realize the anus is very sensitive and erotic. Like someone stated, it should be talked about before you and your partner experiment for sure.
 
anal worship

ace195008 said:
I agree with all the health statements and concerns. A lot of people don't realize the anus is very sensitive and erotic. Like someone stated, it should be talked about before you and your partner experiment for sure.
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A lot of the posts here are about anal penetration. I hope I am not off-topic, when I talk about anal worship. I mean by that licking and adoring my Mistress's beautiful rosebud (ass-hole).

She loves me to do this and says no-one has ever done it better. I once was engaged in this form of worship, while she had an erotic phone conversation with a boyfriend of hers. It was utterly beautiful to be engaged in this act of humble surrender, while she talked dirty to a boyfriend, never revealing for a moment what my tongue was doing for her.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Leopold Masoch
 
leomasoch said:
A lot of the posts here are about anal penetration. I hope I am not off-topic, when I talk about anal worship. I mean by that licking and adoring my Mistress's beautiful rosebud (ass-hole).

She loves me to do this and says no-one has ever done it better. I once was engaged in this form of worship, while she had an erotic phone conversation with a boyfriend of hers. It was utterly beautiful to be engaged in this act of humble surrender, while she talked dirty to a boyfriend, never revealing for a moment what my tongue was doing for her.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

Leopold Masoch
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Well, you're off topic :p
It's ok though. Why don't you start your own thread?
After all, the butt plug thread has been running for years...
You just never know what you might get :)
 
Last edited:
CutieMouse said:
It's been several years since I read it. Ummm...

#1 rule - numbing lubes are bad
#2 rule - pain is information
#3 rule - there is no such thing as too much lube
#4 rule - for the love of god, go slow

A lot of anal, is actually mental. It's common for people to fear anal (OMG it's going to hurt! OMG it's going to be messy! etc), Fear = tension; tension - pain.

The best part of the book that stuck with me, was a series of "exercises" to work through the [mental; physical] taboo associated with the anus. I think he suggested spending time every day "exploring" - massage, fingering, learning to form positive associations with anal touch, etc.

There was also quite a bit of information about enemas (necessary or not; if desired, how to do them safely), how diet impacts anal health, how to safely explore anal sex. etc.
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A lot of common sense is delivered in that book. I never did understand numbing lube. I agree with the statement that pain is very informative.
 
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