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Anonymous Secrets Thread

neruda said:
Female - 32 - I wanted to share the fun afternoon I had today. I was being a bit naughty on another website that has a video chat. I was giving peep shows to whomever viewed my cam. I even invited a friend from Lit to come watch me. It was very exciting, I got such a rush from it. I guess that makes me a bit of a exhibitionist?
Click to expand...

A bit yes, but there is nothing wrong with that :D


---


Nice to see the thread back up again and running!

Job well done Neruda!
 
Yay!! I finally made it through all the posts. Took me two days, but very worth the effort.

I'm late to the party but kudos to all!! I laughed, I cried, I :eek:

Great thread!! Hugs, :kiss: and :rose: to all!!
 
talikat said:
Yay!! I finally made it through all the posts. Took me two days, but very worth the effort.

I'm late to the party but kudos to all!! I laughed, I cried, I :eek:

Great thread!! Hugs, :kiss: and :rose: to all!!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the kind words, Tali. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Welcome to the party
 
neruda said:
F - 30 - Late last year memories of abuse from my childhood resurfaced. I don't know how to deal with them, I just wish I could bury them all over again.
I have enough to deal with without these memories as well. I'm lost and so sick of being screwed up. I'm tired of spending so much time in therapy and more stuff just coming up
Click to expand...

Big hugs to this woman...
 
neruda said:
Female - 37 - Last night I answered an ad on Craigslist. I ended up going to a man's hotel room and fucking his brains out in exchange for $500.
Click to expand...
wow, While I'm happy this worked out for you, please, please, be more careful. You could have gotten a lot more than $500 for you're trouble.
 
Last edited:
neruda said:
Female, 40ish - I think my husband is in love with someone else. I don't think he'll do anything about it because he's stubborn and feels he should honor his commitment to me. I almost wish he would leave me for her. It would end this limbo we're in, but the idea of being alone terrifies me.
Click to expand...

Awww :rose: I'm sorry you're hurting.
 
Some of the posts are here make me giggle and others make me so sad... Group hug! *hugs everyone*
 
I need some feedback

I need some feedback and some help with a problem.

Lately I have had several people send me secrets about having been sexually abused as children. I'm not opposed to this sort of confession, but there are some issues with it.

The first is that several people have regretted confessing these things after wards and have been very upset. The last thing IN THE WORLD I want to do is make a situation like that worse.

The second is that im unsure what burden this puts the readers under. I don't know how know how uncomfortable, upset or if it causes other problems.

So I really don't know what to do here. I'm looking for some people to weigh in and let me know what they think. You can do that publicly or in private to my PM or email.

Until I get some suggestions I am going to hold off on posting these.

Thanks.
 
I guess if they sent it to you then they want it to be published, but maybe set yourself a rule for a time delay within which they can request it not be published (e.g. 2 days?).

As a reader if someone has any heartache (and especially of such a harsh nature) a problem shared should be a problem halved. Might not be the easiest read, but if we're not here to share peoples' pain and make it that tad easier...what's the point?

Hope this finds you well neruda.
 
Lord_Nibiru said:
I guess if they sent it to you then they want it to be published, but maybe set yourself a rule for a time delay within which they can request it not be published (e.g. 2 days?).

As a reader if someone has any heartache (and especially of such a harsh nature) a problem shared should be a problem halved. Might not be the easiest read, but if we're not here to share peoples' pain and make it that tad easier...what's the point?

Hope this finds you well neruda.
Click to expand...

It does, and thank you for your input.

I have already implemented a 24 hour hold on these. Simply because I don't want to make this worse on anyone.
 
neruda said:
I need some feedback and some help with a problem.

Lately I have had several people send me secrets about having been sexually abused as children. I'm not opposed to this sort of confession, but there are some issues with it.

The first is that several people have regretted confessing these things after wards and have been very upset. The last thing IN THE WORLD I want to do is make a situation like that worse.

The second is that im unsure what burden this puts the readers under. I don't know how know how uncomfortable, upset or if it causes other problems.

So I really don't know what to do here. I'm looking for some people to weigh in and let me know what they think. You can do that publicly or in private to my PM or email.

Until I get some suggestions I am going to hold off on posting these.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

I can understand your concerns of not wanting to be a part of anyone feeling regret. That would make me feel awful as well. I wonder if sharing those types of secrets is more often cathartic? If so, I would encourage people to let it out, so to speak.

As far as the sensitive subject matter possibly effecting the readers, it is another valid concern. You could give a warning or sorts. On another forum I frequent, if a post could trigger an emotional negative response for the reader, we simply put "Trigger" at the beginning. Some people need to skip those posts, others read and offer support.
 
I think Sir Planetary Apocalypse and Sweets's ideas should be combined. I prefer the 48 hour hold for the confessor, though, as opposed to your current 24. Just my opinion on the time length.
In doing both, you take care of the confessor and the reader. However, Neruda, don't feel you need to overburden yourself trying to weed out which topics should be labeled. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable in these areas could create a list of common "triggers" and you could simply stick with that list if the topic crosses your desk.
 
neruda said:
I need some feedback and some help with a problem.

Lately I have had several people send me secrets about having been sexually abused as children. I'm not opposed to this sort of confession, but there are some issues with it.

The first is that several people have regretted confessing these things after wards and have been very upset. The last thing IN THE WORLD I want to do is make a situation like that worse.

The second is that im unsure what burden this puts the readers under. I don't know how know how uncomfortable, upset or if it causes other problems.

So I really don't know what to do here. I'm looking for some people to weigh in and let me know what they think. You can do that publicly or in private to my PM or email.

Until I get some suggestions I am going to hold off on posting these.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Neruda brings up only two issues. Let me toss in a few more thoughts.

This forum is probably not the place for shining light on such crimes. Official channels and skilled prosecutors might be better. Trained professional therapists might be better.

This forum has rules about underage sex which we may be violating even now just discussing this issue.

On the other hand, ya gotta start somewhere. Sweetness is right about catharsis. May be just being anonymous here can kickstart progress towards healing.

This thread began as entertainment. Is it just entertainment, or has it grown into more?

Will Neruda be legally bound to report confessions of child abuse to the authorities?

"Semen in coffee cups at work" is grotesque. "My husband loves someone else" is sad. Child abuse is both grotesque and sad . We may have already stepped into the Serious Topics Zone and can't unring the bell.

It's like the WKRP episode when Jennifer had a call-in show. She gave flip, off-the-cuff answers to questions until a female caller was battered. Jennifer's answer was to quit.

The readership is here with eyes open. No one forces the confessions from anyone else. It seems we, readers and secret sharers and Neruda, have made a social contract with each other. We're something of an open-ended non-directional unofficial therapy group. We're all grown-ups. We choose to be here. Speaking for myself, and I know I am unanimous in this, if I can't take the heat then I'll get out.

I am prepared to read whatever secrets any person wishes to share. My squick is my problem. I hope I am free to confess any secret I wish to bring up in good conscience. I trust my identity will not be revealed. Personal responsibility and trust are all I've got.

And no one owes me a penny for my thoughts. This one is on the house, no cover charge, no minimum drink order.
 
aaron23062 said:
Neruda brings up only two issues. Let me toss in a few more thoughts.

This forum is probably not the place for shining light on such crimes. Official channels and skilled prosecutors might be better. Trained professional therapists might be better.

This forum has rules about underage sex which we may be violating even now just discussing this issue.

On the other hand, ya gotta start somewhere. Sweetness is right about catharsis. May be just being anonymous here can kickstart progress towards healing.

This thread began as entertainment. Is it just entertainment, or has it grown into more?

Will Neruda be legally bound to report confessions of child abuse to the authorities?

"Semen in coffee cups at work" is grotesque. "My husband loves someone else" is sad. Child abuse is both grotesque and sad . We may have already stepped into the Serious Topics Zone and can't unring the bell.

It's like the WKRP episode when Jennifer had a call-in show. She gave flip, off-the-cuff answers to questions until a female caller was battered. Jennifer's answer was to quit.

The readership is here with eyes open. No one forces the confessions from anyone else. It seems we, readers and secret sharers and Neruda, have made a social contract with each other. We're something of an open-ended non-directional unofficial therapy group. We're all grown-ups. We choose to be here. Speaking for myself, and I know I am unanimous in this, if I can't take the heat then I'll get out.

I am prepared to read whatever secrets any person wishes to share. My squick is my problem. I hope I am free to confess any secret I wish to bring up in good conscience. I trust my identity will not be revealed. Personal responsibility and trust are all I've got.

And no one owes me a penny for my thoughts. This one is on the house, no cover charge, no minimum drink order.
Click to expand...


Very well spoken, hon.
 
neruda said:
I need some feedback and some help with a problem.

Lately I have had several people send me secrets about having been sexually abused as children. I'm not opposed to this sort of confession, but there are some issues with it.

The first is that several people have regretted confessing these things after wards and have been very upset. The last thing IN THE WORLD I want to do is make a situation like that worse.

The second is that im unsure what burden this puts the readers under. I don't know how know how uncomfortable, upset or if it causes other problems.

So I really don't know what to do here. I'm looking for some people to weigh in and let me know what they think. You can do that publicly or in private to my PM or email.

Until I get some suggestions I am going to hold off on posting these.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Hard subject, but the very fact you are getting these means these people are trying to reach out to.someone and take that first step hopefully to turning their life in the right direction.

I agree with RA, a grace period of 48 hours should be the minimum, this gives them that cool off period. This could be backed up by asking them if they want the post to go ahead.

Think its up to the reader if they want to read it or not, after all we are all adults and they may get a bit of comfort and support from listers replys.

That's my tuppence worth, keep up the good work!
 
Well there is something to be said for both sides of this story.

I will trust your wisdom in this.
 
thesweetsweetness said:
I can understand your concerns of not wanting to be a part of anyone feeling regret. That would make me feel awful as well. I wonder if sharing those types of secrets is more often cathartic? If so, I would encourage people to let it out, so to speak.

As far as the sensitive subject matter possibly effecting the readers, it is another valid concern. You could give a warning or sorts. On another forum I frequent, if a post could trigger an emotional negative response for the reader, we simply put "Trigger" at the beginning. Some people need to skip those posts, others read and offer support.
Click to expand...

Yeah, 'cathartic' sounds right.

Maybe they just needed to tell SOMEBODY and they chose you neruda. You seem to be a very caring person. So there's that.....

I can't imagine having to go through that as a child. Big hugs to anyone who has had to deal with such a tragedy. :rose:
 
I think that 48 hours cool off period is a great idea.
I also think the same with the trigger warning, personally I think that's an important one especially with a sensitive subject like child abuse. I person can still read but they at least now to brace themselves and it not come totally out of left field. It's something little but it can make a big difference to a person who can get triggered.
 
thesweetsweetness said:
I can understand your concerns of not wanting to be a part of anyone feeling regret. That would make me feel awful as well. I wonder if sharing those types of secrets is more often cathartic? If so, I would encourage people to let it out, so to speak.

As far as the sensitive subject matter possibly effecting the readers, it is another valid concern. You could give a warning or sorts. On another forum I frequent, if a post could trigger an emotional negative response for the reader, we simply put "Trigger" at the beginning. Some people need to skip those posts, others read and offer support.
Click to expand...

These are some good suggestions. Thank you.
 
RubenesqueAphrodite said:
I think Sir Planetary Apocalypse and Sweets's ideas should be combined. I prefer the 48 hour hold for the confessor, though, as opposed to your current 24. Just my opinion on the time length.
In doing both, you take care of the confessor and the reader. However, Neruda, don't feel you need to overburden yourself trying to weed out which topics should be labeled. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable in these areas could create a list of common "triggers" and you could simply stick with that list if the topic crosses your desk.
Click to expand...

thank you.
 
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