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the scoreboard .....

the number of northern writers compared to the number of southern writers .......

I should have added that I guess .............smile

,,,,,,

I put something down in another forum like this and ended up with a discussion on where the mason dixon line is now .....

L
 
Re: marriage dying out .......... What next...?

KingII said:
Now flicka ..

I understand your idea of a non-marriage relationship ....

You do realize that without a legal form of ownership .......

We will have to go back to branding our women ...

Not that it will bother me that much ..... but some may end up with an awful lot of scars ......... smile


Actually ..... I think marriage has its place with many many personalities. It provides many with an undeniable attachment to another.

Legalities asside ........ that bond provided by both church and state (or justice of the peice), have kept more families together through thick and thin, better or worse than any type of relationship in history. The act of marriage has brought countries together (yours maybe one of them), provided a basis for peice and saved many form prison or death.
If you look at history and all that the act of marriage has achieved then I think you may understand its importance to mankind. I for one think that if you see it as you do then thier is a breakdown in society and that breakdown should be addressed in such a way as to open the mind and eyes of those that do not understand.

Pleae do not get me wrong ..... I respect you ideas and opinions and do not hold this against you in any way. I hope you do not mind my opinion either.

I do understand that thier are people and circumstances that do not allow marriage to be part of thier lifestyle or may not be acceptable for hundreds of reasons. But I think marriage is an important structure in society.

With the right partner.... marriage ... does not limit ones ability to enjoy all that life offers.

This was not meant to offend .....in any way.


L


King...I suggest you read "Public Vows" by Nancy Cott (former Yale Prof in the History Dept, now runs the Radcliffe institute of Higher Ed at Harvard)...it's a discussion and a fairly convicing historical argument that the state uses marriage as a form of social control.


Personally...I stick to the philosophy that it's a hell of a lot easier to get out of a bed than a marriage. I have yet to meet anyone worth making that kind of legal commitment to.
 
deliciously_naughty......

Your Nancy Cott has a point thier, and that I do not dispute. But man has had some sort of ritual between his spouse and himself long before the state came along and found a way to control the actions of its people.

I also understand your point..... I myself crawled out of a few beds in my day and am damn glad I did.......

But I am married now ..... and to a rather understanding woman that is perfect for many things.

I guess I am for marriage because it does indeed demand a particular amount of control...... and control is very important in a modern world. In my opinion it is the life you live and the things you share with that person allow you to enjoy such a relationship.

I am not one to just jump into situations that I need to worry about escaping them in the first place. So I cannot say I see things your way but I do understand the legality side of what you say. I would have to search far and wide to find what I have found in friends and lovers.

I see marriage as a corner stone ..........

Thier are countries that care little for marriage and do little or nothing to control it ......... you should look them up and compare the quality of life that they offer.

Please do not take this personally .... I am just contributing to this thread. I am not quite perfect myself ....... and many would have problems with my lifestyle.

In fact if it were legal I would have a harem .......... all wives.

L
 
I want another one like chicklet up thier....

If I had my way .......

I would have her red hair bouncing all about the house ......

just look at those eyes ..... I can only imagine what is going on in her mind ....

I knew a woman like her once ..... she just couldn't stop movin...

and sweet lil ole Blessedbe ....... she just makes you want to keep her ..... she has that looooooooook.

Kinda gives me the shivers (good ones) ......... she's just watchin and waitin ........till her turn ................smile

L
 
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KingII said:
deliciously_naughty......

Your Nancy Cott has a point thier, and that I do not dispute. But man has had some sort of ritual between his spouse and himself long before the state came along and found a way to control the actions of its people.

I guess I am for marriage because it does indeed demand a particular amount of control...... and control is very important in a modern world. In my opinion it is the life you live and the things you share with that person allow you to enjoy such a relationship.

I see marriage as a corner stone ..........

Thier are countries that care little for marriage and do little or nothing to control it ......... you should look them up and compare the quality of life that they offer.

L

Oooh, my fingers are keyboard-trigger-happy now!!! ;)

Why does man want to have rituals and ceremonies surrounding his desicion to live with one woman for the rest of his life?
Because he's superstitutious. Because he's afraid. Because he's lazy. Because he's greedy. (No offense to you personally, I'm talking men in general here.)

Marriage was born out of man's fear that he would waste time and strength providing for children he hadn't bred himself. By tying a woman up to him with promises to the holiest thing they could imagine, that she would be with him only, he made her her own guard - no she wouldn't stay faithful because she was only interested in him and no-one else, but because she feared the punishment of God. (And the contempt of the community, to which she had to belong in order to survive. There may not have been a state in the early days, but there sure was a community. A tribe.)

He also made demands that the woman must be a virgin when she got married - historians argue that this was to ensure that she wasn't pregnant when he married her; personally, I believ it was because he was afraid of the competition - a virgin wouldn't be able to know that he had a small dick and was bad in bed, so she wouldn't be tempted to leave him in search for a better lover.

Again, I argue that I'd rather have a lover who is faithful to me because he doesn't feel like having anyone else but me, rather than a lover who drools after other women, but "controls" himself, because he has made a promise never to act on his temptation...
A lover who come to your bed by his own free will, will be much more eager to be in bed with you, than he who comes there because he has nowhere else to go anyway."

My country, Sweden, is one of the countries that has a very laid-back attitude towards marriage, and, I dare say, to family life. We are born into our families. We choose our friends.
Now, comparing the statistics, Sweden has less homeless people, less violence, a lower rate of criminality and unemployment than America does...

The really funny thing about that is that we also have very little interest in religion, and we have very strict rules concerning the ownership of weapons...
 
My goodness, Sven, you have interesting ideas about marriage! LOL!

Here is what Dr. Harley of marriagebuilders.com has to say about this topic. This is from “Living Together Before Marriage” and it expresses my opinion better than I could say it.

“But what you don't seem to realize is that you will never know what married life is like unless you're married. The commitment of marriage adds a dimension to your relationship that puts everything on its ear. Right now, you are testing each other to see if you are compatible. If either of you slips up, the test is over, and you are out the door. Marriage doesn't work that way. Slip-ups don't end the marriage, they just end the love you have for each other.

What, exactly, is the commitment of marriage? It is an agreement that you will take care of each other for life, regardless of life's ups and downs. You will stick it out together through thick and thin. But the commitment of living together isn't like that at all. It is simply a month-to-month rental agreement. As long as you behave yourself and keep me happy, I'll stick around.” End of Dr. Harley's quote.


To me, marriage is more than just two people. It says the two people in it are going to work at making it work, through everything that comes their way. You say, “With this person I can make a lasting relationship. By the vows I say you know this to be true. Now, you in the rest of society must also honor this commitment, are obligated to it as well.”

Without the public display of your commitment your relationship has no social contract. The marriage contract, in my opinion, binds two together but also binds the rest of society to your commitment. You are telling others to back off, to not apply relationship pressures to you and your partner because you no longer wish to participate in those social interactions. You do not have the need to, or the desire. In my opinion, a relationship other than a marriage is open to all social interplay. This is what is being misunderstood in society today. We do not honor our contracts or the contracts of others.

It is a positive, not a negative, in my view. It is born out of love, not fear.
 
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The debate goes on...

MyOpinion said:

“But what you don't seem to realize is that you will never know what married life is like unless you're married. The commitment of marriage adds a dimension to your relationship that puts everything on its ear. Right now, you are testing each other to see if you are compatible. If either of you slips up, the test is over, and you are out the door. Marriage doesn't work that way. Slip-ups don't end the marriage, they just end the love you have for each other.

What, exactly, is the commitment of marriage? It is an agreement that you will take care of each other for life, regardless of life's ups and downs. You will stick it out together through thick and thin. But the commitment of living together isn't like that at all. It is simply a month-to-month rental agreement. As long as you behave yourself and keep me happy, I'll stick around.” End of Dr. Harley's quote.

And why SHOULD you stick around with someone who beahaves badly and treat you like toilet paper?

No, I'm not saying pack your bags as soon as you don't agree on which program to watch on TV tonight. Ofcourse a relationship between two individuals, whether they are lovers, friends or coworkers, require communication, and making compromises.

But when you have tried to work things out, when you have talked and talked and talked to someone who just wont listen, who wont give up his selfishness, someone who will insult you, someone who will constantly put his own wishes before yours or the family's, someone who will cheat on you, someone who will beat you - should you stay with him, just because you have promised inside a church that you will love him and obey him forever???

I've been married. I tried to work things out. He stole money from me to buy things for himself. He cheated on me. He made 5 times more money than I did, yet still let me pay half of the rent. He called me a whore. He told me that I was so fat, ugly and psychotic, that no other man would ever want me. He turned my family against me by calling them after every fight we had to complain about how evil I had been to him. When he grabbed me and pushed me against a wall, I had had enough. I left him. I broke my wows.

Now, I have a new man in my life. We're not married, but he calls me his wife, and I call him my husband. He's always there for me, listening when I have to get something off my chest, cheering me on when I have a difficult task ahead of me, and praising me when I'm done. He tells me how he loves me for being so supporting of him, for never laughing at him or taunting him when he confides something in me, for always understanding him.

Damned right I'll walk if my man won't keep me happy! And I'm not talking about him letting me have whatever I want; clothes, jewellery, a car, watching my favourite soap opera instead of the super bowl finals... I'm talking about him treating my like his best friend; keeping an open mind when I tell him about my dreams, giving my a hug when I'm sad, saying he's proud of me when I succeed in something difficult...
And, which SHOULD go without saying, but just to be on the safe side, I'll say it anyway: Ofcourse the same thing goes for me. I must keep my husband happy. Not by bringing him his slippers and a martini when he comes home from work, but by listening to him when he tells me about his day, by hugging him when he's tired after being yelled at at work the entire day, by not revealing the secret hopes and fears he had confided in me to anyone else...
My husband and I are lovers and best friends. If either one of us would stop acting like a friend, then we have no buisness staying together. In fact, I think it's quite obscene if a couple stick together when they have neither love, lust nor friendship between each other!

MyOpinion said:
To me, marriage is more than just two people. It says the two people in it are going to work at making it work, through everything that comes their way. You say, “With this person I can make a lasting relationship. By the vows I say you know this to be true. Now, you in the rest of society must also honor this commitment, are obligated to it as well.”

Without the public display of your commitment your relationship has no social contract. The marriage contract, in my opinion, binds two together but also binds the rest of society to your commitment. You are telling others to back off, to not apply relationship pressures to you and your partner because you no longer wish to participate in those social interactions. You do not have the need to, or the desire. In my opinion, a relationship other than a marriage is open to all social interplay. This is what is being misunderstood in society today. We do not honor our contracts or the contracts of others.

From my experience, a relationship between two people doesn't REALLY concern the rest of the world. My husband is black, I'm white, and a lot of people are trying to tell us that there is something wrong with us being together, since we don't look the same. I always tell them to go fu... well, I mean, I kindly ask them to mind their own buisness.

As for society showing respect for the commitment between married people, now THAT'S a laugh!!! My best friend is married since 4 years, and she has a 3-year-old son. Not only do guys hit on her, but when she explains that she's married and has a son, they ask her if she can't let her husband baby-sit the son while she goes out partying with them!!!
That's how much people respect marriage!
For crying out loud, men were hitting on her when she was 10 months pregnant! (She went over time.)
Men were hitting on her when she was pushing her new-born baby in a stroller!

When it comes to being faithful to the person you love, no golden ring will protect you from getting suggestions and temptations from others. No contracts, social or religious, will guarantee that you will be happy for the rest of your life with the lover of your choice.

The only thing that will make a relationship work, is if lovers keep treating each others as their very best friend.
 
One of the reasons why I love my husband so much is because he actually ENCOURAGES me to talk this much!

"Talk to me. Tell me something. I want to listen to you."
 
MissTaken said:
I thought a thread wherein the authors that post or lurk at the board introduce themselves and their preferred story categories, it would be helpful to those seeking story writers.

What say you, sexy lit authors?

:D

*Opi looks at banner overhead*

Sorry, MisTaken, didn't mean to steal your thread.:eek:

Sven, I think we need to agree we disagree on this and let thread go back to original idea :)
 
New here

:rose: Just came out of lurking as was talked into submitting my first two short stories. Have others waiting for edits, and many floating in head waiting to come out.

I don't have a preferance in what I write about, just some things are easier than others.

Love all the ideas out here. For stories and for Sat Night. Thanks!
 
BlessedBe said:
lol It's okay. I'm sure it wasn't obvious to just me.

C'est la vie!

Thank you very much.

Here's a story idea

A good-looking but troubled and insecure boy meets a wild party girl.
 
New here

Merry met,

I'm 21, married with 3 cats, Dracula, Carmilla & Akasha & am a Pagan. I'm also a very talented artist. My real name is Lena. It means temptess in some cultures. I enjoy all kinds of story topics. I have 2 stories on Lit so far and plan to submit more soon. I'm trying to come up with a Sci-fi/fantasy type of theme now.
So far I love Lit and many of the people here.
 
Welcome everyone!

Hey! Hijacking the thread! ;)

Well, we have a thread you can post to with random thoughts, jokes, conversation etc...feel free.

See "For 24 hours only..."

Take care all.

:rose:

BTW, before coming to the forum, I had never dared to submit anything or even finish anything. I now have three little ditties submitted and have a forth on the way.

I just wanna thank everyone at this forum for giving me the incentive to give it a try.

Oh, and they aren't great works, but they are mine. ;)
 
wolverine1 said:
Thank you very much.

Here's a story idea

A good-looking but troubled and insecure boy meets a wild party girl.


I started a thread with your story idea. It will get more attention on the forum.

Take care,

MIssT
 
Re: Civilization Trivia

Svenskaflicka said:
Personally, I think marriage is a dying lifeform.

This realistic and modern attitude toward the archaic institution of marriage is what I love most about Scandinavia ... That and the voluptuous* six foot tall Swedish & Norwegian chicks


*(as differentiated from the skinny model types who do nothing for me)
reddress.jpg

Note the decidely un-androgynous hips

As for me ...
I'm hoping to use my prurient preoccupation with written porn to hone my writing skills. My interests tend toward stories with interracial, cheating wives, gynarchic, F/m or F/F spanking, F/m strap-on sex, wanton size queens, polygamous womyn, impregnation or lesbian themes. I have little wont to either read or write about scat, bestiality, smoking, women wearing excessive make-up, underaged girls or male-on-male sex, not that there's anything wrong with the lattermost item in this list.

I have only two stories on Lit. Both are more vignettes than actual short stories. However, I have written several longer pieces that I'm currently in the process of rewriting. I have several other stories in progress as well. Having recently seen the movie "Adaptation," my passion for and commitment to my writing is at an all time high. I should be posting more of my stories posthaste.
 
MissTaken said:
Welcome everyone!

Hey! Hijacking the thread! ;)

Well, we have a thread you can post to with random thoughts, jokes, conversation etc...feel free.

See "For 24 hours only..."

Take care all.

:rose:

BTW, before coming to the forum, I had never dared to submit anything or even finish anything. I now have three little ditties submitted and have a forth on the way.

I just wanna thank everyone at this forum for giving me the incentive to give it a try.

Oh, and they aren't great works, but they are mine. ;)

whats the "For 24 hours only" bit about?
 
Hi there, everyone.

I'm Risia, a 27 year old Ph.D. candidate, writing teacher, and part-time hobby writer. (I suppose now that I've sold a story or three, I could call myself a professional writer, but that seems awfully disingenuous.) I've been around the Lit block pretty much since its inception, and I've been posting stories and poetry here for most of that time. I'm up to fifty-odd submissions and counting, at last tally.

Many of you I've probably seen in other places, in which case--great. If not, feel free to come say hi if the mood strikes you. I'm not a terribly vocal participant most of the time, but I do a great deal of lurking. And, as the new Moderator for this forum, I imagine I'll be around much more often. ;)

Best to all,
RS
 
Re: Re: Civilization Trivia

Cuckolded_BlK_Male said:
This realistic and modern attitude toward the archaic institution of marriage is what I love most about Scandinavia ... That and the voluptuous* six foot tall Swedish & Norwegian chicks


*(as differentiated from the skinny model types who do nothing for me)
reddress.jpg

Note the decidely un-androgynous hips



I've always said that a man who likes skinny girls is a man who's afraid to come out of the closet. :kiss:
 
OK, so someone who is gay and doesn't want anyone to know about is IN the closet, someone who shows it to everyone is OUT OF the closet.

Are bisexuals standing in the doorway, then?

And just what room are we heterosexuals suppsoed to be in?

:confused:
 
*peeps out from the doorway and smiles, waving to svenskaflicka*
 
Svenskaflicka said:
OK, so someone who is gay and doesn't want anyone to know about is IN the closet, someone who shows it to everyone is OUT OF the closet.

Are bisexuals standing in the doorway, then?

And just what room are we heterosexuals suppsoed to be in?

:confused:

those of us who are hetro voyeurs presumably are peeping in the windows.
 
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