Lesbian or Bisexual

So the other night a couple of friends and me went out and had some drinks. After several drinks the subject of sex came up and we had kind of a fun debate that I am curious what people think of. Now I am just saying that in the end labels don't matter as long as the person as happy but it's an interesting conversation in my opinion.

So one of our friends is an open lesbian as she calls herself. She dated men early on but never found much interest there and for the longest time has been quite happy dating women and having sex with them. She has no interest in being with men anymore.

On the sexual side though she loves to have a strap-on used on her and gets off to penetration. She openly enjoys anal sex, vaginal sex, and even occasionally performing oral while another woman is wearing a strap-on.

So the debate is that our friend calls herself a lesbian because she has no desire to be with a man. Our other friend says that she is actually bisexual because she enjoys sexual practices that simulate a straight sexual relationship.

Like I said in the end labels don't really matter and all people enjoy what all people enjoy and as long as they're happy and no one is getting hurt who cares. Do you think though that because of her sexual likes she falls more under a bisexual or do you think because she wants a woman as the sexual partner she's a lesbian no matter what goes on in the bedroom?

Interesting indeed,I feel like many sex toys(strap ons,dildos,etc) will be penis shaped to mimic the biological shape of what will stimulate a woman I suppose,even fingers for that matter. So vaginal,anal or otherwise will see that shape as very effective and pleasurable.
The fact that she only wants to date women romantically tells me she’s more than likely identifying as a lesbian and likes that label which if it works for her then I’d say she’s a lesbian. We also can play around with any object or sexual act during intercourse that may mimic something more homosexual in behavior and not let that completely define our sexual preference either.

bicuriohub said:

Interesting indeed,I feel like many sex toys(strap ons,dildos,etc) will be penis shaped to mimic the biological shape of what will stimulate a woman I suppose,even fingers for that matter. So vaginal,anal or otherwise will see that shape as very effective and pleasurable.
The fact that she only wants to date women romantically tells me she’s more than likely identifying as a lesbian and likes that label which if it works for her then I’d say she’s a lesbian. We also can play around with any object or sexual act during intercourse that may mimic something more homosexual in behavior and not let that completely define our sexual preference either.

Click to expand...

That is where I fell as well on the debate. She wants to date other women and only women so I say she falls into the lesbian category. What happens in the bedroom is just about enjoyment and good feelings.

Wingz1992 said:

That is where I fell as well on the debate. She wants to date other women and only women so I say she falls into the lesbian category. What happens in the bedroom is just about enjoyment and good feelings.

Click to expand...

Yeah that makes sense to me. Does she really want to stand firm on being identified as a lesbian? I know some people are offended by labels and whatnot but you can like what you like.

I’m a lesbian, and we love penetration. The desire for such, in my opinion, doesn’t mean your subconsciously desiring a penis. Women’s fingers, a dildo or even a strap-on, just means we love to be fucked ;-)

bicuriohub said:

Yeah that makes sense to me. Does she really want to stand firm on being identified as a lesbian? I know some people are offended by labels and whatnot but you can like what you like.

Click to expand...

No like I said in the end the label really doesn't mean much to her or to any of us. She calls herself a lesbian. We just got on the subject of sex and this talk came up and I thought it was an interesting sexual conversation piece.

LOL penetration is inherently masculine? WTF? That makes no sense. She's a lesbian. Full stop. No question. No debate. Your friend that said she's bisexual is a dolt.

Subgirl_uk said:

I’m a lesbian, and we love penetration. The desire for such, in my opinion, doesn’t mean your subconsciously desiring a penis. Women’s fingers, a dildo or even a strap-on, just means we love to be fucked ;-)

Click to expand...

Indeed. A lesbian couple that are friends of ours uses toys regularly (and everything else, mind you), and their opinion is that as long as the method gets the desire results it's fine, just as long as it's a woman on the other end. They also told me that compared to men, a woman understands how using toys is much better than being penetrated by a man because a woman better understands what pleases another woman.

Being lesbian is not a matter of how you stimulate your genitals technically. It is a matter of conscience.
It is hot to be with an aroused woman, it is (for me at least) a turnoff to do sexual things with men. I have been with men, and I did have orgasms with them, but it was always a little bit boring or embarrassing. Thinking of sexy women is stimulating, arouses me, makes me want to masturbate. That is good, enjoyable arousal.

Jerseyshore said:

Indeed. A lesbian couple that are friends of ours uses toys regularly (and everything else, mind you), and their opinion is that as long as the method gets the desire results it's fine, just as long as it's a woman on the other end. They also told me that compared to men, a woman understands how using toys is much better than being penetrated by a man because a woman better understands what pleases another woman.

Click to expand...

hanna_a said:

Being lesbian is not a matter of how you stimulate your genitals technically. It is a matter of conscience.
It is hot to be with an aroused woman, it is (for me at least) a turnoff to do sexual things with men. I have been with men, and I did have orgasms with them, but it was always a little bit boring or embarrassing. Thinking of sexy women is stimulating, arouses me, makes me want to masturbate. That is good, enjoyable arousal.

Click to expand...

Subgirl_uk said:

I’m a lesbian, and we love penetration. The desire for such, in my opinion, doesn’t mean your subconsciously desiring a penis. Women’s fingers, a dildo or even a strap-on, just means we love to be fucked ;-)

Click to expand...

These ladies summarize my opinion very well. strap on is a toy just like hundreds of others. and penetration is a one of the main ways of pleasuring a female sexual organ. just like fingers, tongue etc. I'm a 110% lesbian and personally I like to use strapon on my woman because of the power exchange/domination it brings to the play. so yeah, using strap ons alone doesn't mean that a woman is bi. and it doesn't matter really, does it? these labels. bi or les. the important thing is that they enjoy each other the way they like.

Look I am bi, very bi lol. I know no one asked me but, it's all about preferences and doing what you enjoy and doing it with who you enjoying doing it with.

I am bi-sexual and I enjoy strap on penetration. but I really don't think only by using a strap on in sex, we can call a woman bi.
just my 2 cents

redder00 said:

These ladies summarize my opinion very well. strap on is a toy just like hundreds of others. and penetration is a one of the main ways of pleasuring a female sexual organ. just like fingers, tongue etc. I'm a 110% lesbian and personally I like to use strapon on my woman because of the power exchange/domination it brings to the play. so yeah, using strap ons alone doesn't mean that a woman is bi. and it doesn't matter really, does it? these labels. bi or les. the important thing is that they enjoy each other the way they like.

Click to expand...

i agree, i do some times enjoy penetration and i am lesbian

https://cdn.SPAMPOST/uploads/link-cache/9h83ec6sok-p.jpg

Yesssssssssssssss

stargame said:

https://cdn.SPAMPOST/uploads/link-cache/9h83ec6sok-p.jpg

Yesssssssssssssss

Click to expand...

Based only on the picture you posted, I'm pretty sure you do fit either label, dude

redder00 said:

These ladies summarize my opinion very well. strap on is a toy just like hundreds of others. and penetration is a one of the main ways of pleasuring a female sexual organ. just like fingers, tongue etc. I'm a 110% lesbian and personally I like to use strapon on my woman because of the power exchange/domination it brings to the play. so yeah, using strap ons alone doesn't mean that a woman is bi. and it doesn't matter really, does it? these labels. bi or les. the important thing is that they enjoy each other the way they like.

Click to expand...

I'm 100% with this ^^^ For comparison, one could ask the same question about heterosexual men/husbands who enjoy getting pegged. It's not because they wish it was a guy doing... mostly it just feels good physically and is a little kinky which adds spice to intimacy. The debate sounds a bit uninformed on the understanding of what constitutes one's sexual identity...which is fine and normal. I'm glad you asked the question and can help explain it better should you have the chance.

ETA: I'm not very sympathetic with those who are afraid of labels. Virtually every word we utter is a label...see that chair over there...hey, that's a pretty tree Without "labels" we couldn't communicate thoughts and ideas...like we all just did in this discussion. I think they are important, but just need to be as accurate as we can make them.

Exactly

redder00 said:

These ladies summarize my opinion very well. strap on is a toy just like hundreds of others. and penetration is a one of the main ways of pleasuring a female sexual organ. just like fingers, tongue etc. I'm a 110% lesbian and personally I like to use strapon on my woman because of the power exchange/domination it brings to the play. so yeah, using strap ons alone doesn't mean that a woman is bi. and it doesn't matter really, does it? these labels. bi or les. the important thing is that they enjoy each other the way they like.

Click to expand...

I think the word(s) everyone is looking for is/are, "highly-sexed".

I think the fact the she wants a woman"Mmanning"(no pun intended) strap-on clearly defines the fact she's not crossing over the Lesbian line. Just a little role play if you ask me

bicuriohub said:

Yeah that makes sense to me. Does she really want to stand firm on being identified as a lesbian? I know some people are offended by labels and whatnot but you can like what you like.

Click to expand...

ElectraRex said:

LOL penetration is inherently masculine? WTF? That makes no sense. She's a lesbian. Full stop. No question. No debate. Your friend that said she's bisexual is a dolt.

Click to expand...

Yeah I second this. I had to reread the OP like three times to figure out what the fuck they were trying to say.

There's no dudes involved in that at all? I don't... how would that not be just... super gay? I don't get the logic.

infusemyspirit said:

I noticed in the many responses, no one mentioned the power dynamic involved in some girl/girl situations. I'm a dedicated lesbian, though sex with men is in my past. My partners and I love the toys, strap-ons but it's about the power, the control of a situation. A bit of sub-dom type play. It's hot. It's not a role play situation. It's girl with a cock, that knows how to use it. This does not mean a girl is bi. Many things are used for penetration but a strap on between two women is an awesome sensual and sexual connection.

Click to expand...

this is true for me as well,