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Dear X,

Dear X,

I don't regret our time together...I knew it would end one day though I hoped we would grow old together. You ended it like a coward though and that is something I won't forgive. I've done something worse than hate you though. I feel nothing for you...Your a shadow in the background of my mind now. A thought that slips in as something reminds me of the many things we used to share. A familiar TV show or writing plot. A woman with hair like yours or something about your part of the world in the news. Thing is I don't feel the need or want to pickup the phone like I once did. I start to care about how you're doing and I just stop, and know you don't care how I'm doing. You're someone I used to know, and I don't wish you ill or care for you to explain yourself and the lies. If you somehow appeared at my door or on my phone I really don't know what we'd have to talk about. I hope you will learn to live with the pain you have, and the next lover in your life will fair better. Haven't seen you on Lit, but I've stopped looking.
 
Since this has gone back to Exs and not X = whatever, Ill give it a whirl.

Ex 1 - yep
Ex 2 - yes
Ex 3 - YES
Ex 4 - ah no
Ex 5 - yes and still :heart:
Ex 6 - OH YES and still :heart:

Still friends with all the yep and yes Exs

a few in-betweens get a hi and smile from time to time as well

not bad odds I think - a :rose: to them all except Ex 4
 
imemkay said:
Dear Cheated Consumer,

I hate to say it but your "WORK - LIKE AT ALL" comment kind of made me giggle.
The thought meeting your progeny on this site though - horrifying! Return that rotten router at once!

Guilty feeling giggling Litster
Click to expand...

Saucyminx said:
Dear giggling litster, and cheated consumer,

This sort of thing really does happen. At least one of you should remember me finding a pic of my younger sister on a femdom site not too long ago. Disconcerting to say the least.

Still slightly appalled, yet also slightly proud litster
Click to expand...

Dear Politely Giggling and Boot Wearing Proud Litsters,

To the former, that's quite all right. We must take humour wherever we can find it. Rest assured, your giggles will be as nothing compared to the joy I will feel when exchanging the lump of blue LEDs and shiny black plastic masquerading as a router for a more functional item.

To the latter, oh my!! That must make for interesting discussions while washing the dishes after family get-togethers. Have you considered perhaps collaborating on a published account of your exploits? Maybe in a compare and contrast format?

Yours,

Battle-ready and pondering Litster.
 
Dear Sandman,

Thank you so much for sending me some dreams last night. But seriously. did they have to be about brussel sprouts and squash?

:heart:
Well rested litster
 
Dear Fucking Stupid Idiot Driver,

You cut me off and I kept my mouth shut. I didn't even flip you the bird you so richly deserved. You were jabbering on your cell phone and wouldn't have seen me anyway.

But then you had the audacity to slam on your brakes in the middle of the goddamn intersection and when I laid on the horn while screeching my own brakes to avoid hitting you, you had the further audacity to actually climb out of your car and give me the bird with both hands?

Fuck you and your brass balls, asshole. I saw where you parked.

Have you ever seen what sugar does to a gas tank?

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante
 
Dear Friendly Neighborhood Vigilante,

Put down the sugar and back away from the car. Slow, deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Put on some good music, and make me some pancakes??? :)

Your friend with the improved skills
 
Dear Miss Improved Skills,

There is enough sugar left over for pancakes. ;)

Sincerely,
The Craving Breakfast Vigilante
 
heavyhitter01 said:
Dear Miss Improved Skills,

There is enough sugar left over for pancakes. ;)

Sincerely,
The Craving Breakfast Vigilante
Click to expand...

Dear Craving,

Sugar? Oh that's right, you make yours from scratch.
I still have much to learn. Teach me?

Miss maybe only slightly improved skills
 
imemkay said:
Dear Craving,

Sugar? Oh that's right, you make yours from scratch.
I still have much to learn. Teach me?

Miss maybe only slightly improved skills
Click to expand...

Dear Slightly Improved,

Glad to teach you! Wear a sexy apron?

Sincerely,
Even Hungrier Chef
 
heavyhitter01 said:
Dear Slightly Improved,

Glad to teach you! Wear a sexy apron?

Sincerely,
Even Hungrier Chef
Click to expand...

Dear Hungry,

My my! Isn't this an interesting turn of events?! Of course I'll wear a sexy apron. I'll even wear those nylons I know love so much. ;)

Yours,
Eager student
 
imemkay said:
Dear Hungry,

My my! Isn't this an interesting turn of events?! Of course I'll wear a sexy apron. I'll even wear those nylons I know love so much. ;)

Yours,
Eager student
Click to expand...

Dear Student,

The ones with the seams up the back? I might not be able to pay attention to cooking!

Sincerely,
The Leering Teacher
 
heavyhitter01 said:
Dear Student,

The ones with the seams up the back? I might not be able to pay attention to cooking!

Sincerely,
The Leering Teacher
Click to expand...

Dear Teacher,

Yes, the ones with seams! I see they would have the desired effect on you. I guess I should have sent you those pics....

Sincerely,
Sexy nylon wearing student
 
Treasured said:
Dear Sandman,

Thank you so much for sending me some dreams last night. But seriously. did they have to be about brussel sprouts and squash?

:heart:
Well rested litster
Click to expand...
Dear well rested lister
Looking in Sigmund Freud's book of dream interpretations.
Meaning:
Recently has had cravings to have the Chef's Special. Or refer to movie "When Harry Met Sally"
Customer says "I'll have what she's having"
 
Last edited:
Sandman63 said:
Dear well rested lister
Looking in Sigmund Freud's book of dream interpretations.
Meaning:
Recently has had cravings to have the Chef's Special. Or refer to movie "When Harry Met Sally"
Customer says "I'll have what she's having"
Click to expand...

Dear Sigmund Freud dream interpretator,

Sally had Brussel Sprouts?

Looking for a Chef who knows how to cook the properly
 
Dear Hair Holding Friend,

Good news! Ham is on the menu! As appreciative as I am of your offer, your strong stomach and hair holding ability will not be put to the test.

You and yours are still welcome for dinner, though!

Yours,
Relieved Litster
 
imemkay said:
Dear Hair Holding Friend,

Good news! Ham is on the menu! As appreciative as I am of your offer, your strong stomach and hair holding ability will not be put to the test.

You and yours are still welcome for dinner, though!

Yours,
Relieved Litster
Click to expand...

Dear Relieved Litster,

I quite like turkey. However, not enough to wish to dine whilst wearing latex gloves, in preparation for saving other guests' coiffure during calls to 'José' on the porcelain telephone.

Ham is a good alternative, we like ham:)

What vino would you like me to bring?

Yours,

Salivating far too prematurely Litster.
 
EbersMoll said:
Dear Relieved Litster,

I quite like turkey. However, not enough to wish to dine whilst wearing latex gloves, in preparation for saving other guests' coiffure during calls to 'José' on the porcelain telephone.

Ham is a good alternative, we like ham:)

What vino would you like me to bring?

Yours,

Salivating far too prematurely Litster.
Click to expand...

Dear Salivating Litster,

I like turkey, too. It's the smell of it roasting that makes me I'll. Weird, I know.

Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone?? That's a new one!

Bring whatever kind of wine you like. I know absolutely nothing about that stuff! This too may shock you, but I don't drink!

Yours,
It's water for me Litster
 
imemkay said:
Dear Salivating Litster,

I like turkey, too. It's the smell of it roasting that makes me I'll. Weird, I know.

Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone?? That's a new one!

Bring whatever kind of wine you like. I know absolutely nothing about that stuff! This too may shock you, but I don't drink!

Yours,
It's water for me Litster
Click to expand...

Dear Aqua Bibens Amicus

Rather than using the euphemism, 'Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone' would, 'driving the porcelain bus', be more familiar?

San Pellegrino it is then. Unless, hmmmm? Is sparkling water ok?

Yours,

At least the ice cream question has been settled, Litster.:D
 
EbersMoll said:
Dear Aqua Bibens Amicus

Rather than using the euphemism, 'Calls to Jose on the porcelain telephone' would, 'driving the porcelain bus', be more familiar?

San Pellegrino it is then. Unless, hmmmm? Is sparkling water ok?

Yours,

At least the ice cream question has been settled, Litster.:D
Click to expand...

Dear Curious Litster,

Driving the porcelain bus....praying to the porcelain god....it's all the same. I think I shall begin using the Jose euphemism from time to time!

San Pellegrino is fine! I the bubbles! That way we can avoid the whole faucet/tap dilemma. :)

Now thirsty Litster
 
Dear Universe,

Thanks for listening when I told you to knock that $h!t off back in January. What a difference a week, a month, almost a year makes! Things are much better now.

Sincerely,

e~
 
Dear Restaurant Patron,

Why on earth would you buy a $85 Porterhouse and order it well done? I realize it is your right to order your steak how you like, but you just threw $85 + tip out the window. :rolleyes:

Sincerely,

Judgy Restaurant Patron
 
Dear Judgy Patron,

While I agree with you that they've wasted $85, I am a little miffed that you're talking about Porterhouse steak while I sit here eating a microwaved hot dog. You are the devil!

Guess I'll be having steak tomorrow!
 
Dear Baked Goat Cheese and Roasted Garlic Bruschetta,

Your smell is so strong you could make a buzzard fall of a shit wagon. But damn you were tasty.

Sincerely

Stuffed Pmann
 
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