Litsters In History.
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RobDownSouth
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BlueEyesInLevis, DevilishTexan, Gil_Favor, and Pookie
Rakata Island, Indonesia, August 26, 1883.
The trembling mountain made the unibrow tribe uneasy. BlueEyesInLevis furrowed his unibrow worriedly. "Volcano gods angry" he said. The other members of the tribe nodded their heads in unison. Ominous black smoke poured from the top of the smoldering volcano. A sudden belch of fire caused Gil_Favor to lose control of his bladder. "No peepee on me!" an angry Devilish Texan yelled. Gil_Favor looked sullenly at the ground, his face scarlet in shame. His tendency to lose control over both bowel and bladder at the most inopportune times made him something of a pariah in his own tribe, and Devilish Texan and BlueEyes were just about the only ones who'd allow him anywhere near.
"Volcano gods need sacrifice" began BlueEyesInLevis. He stroked his sloping forehead thoughtfully. "Must find virgin for volcano gods" he said at length. "Virgin?" said DevilishTexan. "Big problem...no virgins left on island. Me humpy-pumpy anything that squat to pee in both shore tribe AND mountain tribe". "And chimpanzee tribe too" said Gil_Favor quietly. "Shut up!" thundered DevilishTexan, raising a knuckled hand that usually scraped the ground and backhanding Gil_Favor across the face. Gil_Favor squealed piteously. "Chimpanzee tribe an accident...only happened after we snuck into missionary tents and stole firewater!"
"Calm down, brother, calm down" said BlueEyesInLevis placatingly. "Me sure everyone here has enjoyed a chimpanzee or an oranguatan a time or two when there were no women around"....conveniently omitting the fact that he'd actually never been with a woman. "Say....speaking of those missionaries...DevilishTexan, you humpy-pumpy missionary woman Pookie?"
"Uhhhhh....no" said DevilishTexan thickly. "Me try humpy-pumpy many times, but woman very strong and kick my ass when me try to humpy-pumpy". BlueEyesInLevis plucked a dingleberry caked on his near hairless posterior and nodded. "Me try too. She-devil Pookie grab butcher knife and threaten to cut off pride-and-joy if I touch her." Gil_Favor looked at BlueEyesInLevis dimunitive manhood and said perplexedly "you mean she DIDN'T cut off pride-and-joy already?"
BlueEyesInLevis flushed crimson and balled his tiny fists in rage. He scowled "Did YOU humpy-pumpy she-devil?" Gil_Favor grimaced and shook his head negatively.
An original thought (a very rare occurance) flitted into DevilishTexan's underdeveloped mind. "Wait! If YOU no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at BlueEyesInLevis..."And YOU no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at the cringing Gil_Favor...."and ME no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at his shrunken manhood, covered with herpetic lesions..."then...then..." DevilishTexans eyes dulled as he lost his train of thought.
"THEN SHE-DEVIL POOKIE MUST BE A VIRGIN!" yelled Gil_Favor triumpantly. "Oooooh, problem solved!" yelped BlueEyesInLevis, straightening out of his customary knuckle-dragging crouch excitedly. "Volcano gods will have virgin!" smirked DevilishTexan "Lets go!".
They surprised the missionary Pookie as she was bathing in a nearby stream. A ferocious struggle ensued, but eventually the combined weight of the three tribesmen overcame Pookie. "I swear to God I am going to crush your other testicle for this" she spat at DevilishTexan. DevilishTexan turned white and checked the ropes that securely bound Pookie again. He held her firmly by one elbow, BlueEyesInLevis holding the opposite elbow. Both tribesmen were not used to walking upright, but somehow managed to drag her up to the tip of the volcano's caldera. Gil_Favor lagged far behind, his arm, hand and kneecap broken in the fight.
"Throw she-devil Pookie into volcano on count of three" said Devilish Texan. "Wait!" said BlueEyesInLevis. "Can't count that high!" "Me neither!" said an exasperated DevilishTexan. Gil_Favor shook his head forlornly as well. They huddled together out of Pookie's earshot and tried to resolve their problem.
By the time DevilishTexan realized that three was the number of thrusts he usually lasted inside of a woman, Pookie had slipped loose of her bonds and was long gone.
And the volcano god, the one the natives called Krakatoa, was not amused.
Rakata Island, Indonesia, August 26, 1883.
The trembling mountain made the unibrow tribe uneasy. BlueEyesInLevis furrowed his unibrow worriedly. "Volcano gods angry" he said. The other members of the tribe nodded their heads in unison. Ominous black smoke poured from the top of the smoldering volcano. A sudden belch of fire caused Gil_Favor to lose control of his bladder. "No peepee on me!" an angry Devilish Texan yelled. Gil_Favor looked sullenly at the ground, his face scarlet in shame. His tendency to lose control over both bowel and bladder at the most inopportune times made him something of a pariah in his own tribe, and Devilish Texan and BlueEyes were just about the only ones who'd allow him anywhere near.
"Volcano gods need sacrifice" began BlueEyesInLevis. He stroked his sloping forehead thoughtfully. "Must find virgin for volcano gods" he said at length. "Virgin?" said DevilishTexan. "Big problem...no virgins left on island. Me humpy-pumpy anything that squat to pee in both shore tribe AND mountain tribe". "And chimpanzee tribe too" said Gil_Favor quietly. "Shut up!" thundered DevilishTexan, raising a knuckled hand that usually scraped the ground and backhanding Gil_Favor across the face. Gil_Favor squealed piteously. "Chimpanzee tribe an accident...only happened after we snuck into missionary tents and stole firewater!"
"Calm down, brother, calm down" said BlueEyesInLevis placatingly. "Me sure everyone here has enjoyed a chimpanzee or an oranguatan a time or two when there were no women around"....conveniently omitting the fact that he'd actually never been with a woman. "Say....speaking of those missionaries...DevilishTexan, you humpy-pumpy missionary woman Pookie?"
"Uhhhhh....no" said DevilishTexan thickly. "Me try humpy-pumpy many times, but woman very strong and kick my ass when me try to humpy-pumpy". BlueEyesInLevis plucked a dingleberry caked on his near hairless posterior and nodded. "Me try too. She-devil Pookie grab butcher knife and threaten to cut off pride-and-joy if I touch her." Gil_Favor looked at BlueEyesInLevis dimunitive manhood and said perplexedly "you mean she DIDN'T cut off pride-and-joy already?"
BlueEyesInLevis flushed crimson and balled his tiny fists in rage. He scowled "Did YOU humpy-pumpy she-devil?" Gil_Favor grimaced and shook his head negatively.
An original thought (a very rare occurance) flitted into DevilishTexan's underdeveloped mind. "Wait! If YOU no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at BlueEyesInLevis..."And YOU no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at the cringing Gil_Favor...."and ME no humpy-pumpy she-devil Pookie" he pointed at his shrunken manhood, covered with herpetic lesions..."then...then..." DevilishTexans eyes dulled as he lost his train of thought.
"THEN SHE-DEVIL POOKIE MUST BE A VIRGIN!" yelled Gil_Favor triumpantly. "Oooooh, problem solved!" yelped BlueEyesInLevis, straightening out of his customary knuckle-dragging crouch excitedly. "Volcano gods will have virgin!" smirked DevilishTexan "Lets go!".
They surprised the missionary Pookie as she was bathing in a nearby stream. A ferocious struggle ensued, but eventually the combined weight of the three tribesmen overcame Pookie. "I swear to God I am going to crush your other testicle for this" she spat at DevilishTexan. DevilishTexan turned white and checked the ropes that securely bound Pookie again. He held her firmly by one elbow, BlueEyesInLevis holding the opposite elbow. Both tribesmen were not used to walking upright, but somehow managed to drag her up to the tip of the volcano's caldera. Gil_Favor lagged far behind, his arm, hand and kneecap broken in the fight.
"Throw she-devil Pookie into volcano on count of three" said Devilish Texan. "Wait!" said BlueEyesInLevis. "Can't count that high!" "Me neither!" said an exasperated DevilishTexan. Gil_Favor shook his head forlornly as well. They huddled together out of Pookie's earshot and tried to resolve their problem.
By the time DevilishTexan realized that three was the number of thrusts he usually lasted inside of a woman, Pookie had slipped loose of her bonds and was long gone.
And the volcano god, the one the natives called Krakatoa, was not amused.
WARMACH1NE
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Ouch. Clusterfuck city!!
PinkOrchid
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Le Jacquelope
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Funny, but untrue.PinkOrchid said:
DevilishTexan's never thrust inside a woman.
DevilishTexan
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And once again I'm mentioned by men who wish they could be more like me. Give it up Robbie, ya just ain't got it. And I ain't teaching. Pookiebear might believe your rap though.
Pookie
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DevilishTexan said:
Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry ...
http://www.springersmeninblue.com/springershowsbroadcast2002/images/dcg593.jpg
DevilishTexan
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HAHA! Ok, that was kinda funny. Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Pookster.
Le Jacquelope
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Poofster vs DevilishTexan in the race for the intellectual bottom, live on Lit!
DevilishTexan
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Nah LT, you'd win that hands down trollerboy.
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Not if you're in the race.DevilishTexan said:
DevilishTexan
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You passed me up long ago Peabody.
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That's your rear view mirror you're looking at.DevilishTexan said:
Atikaya – Regency England, 1812
Prince Atikaya was having a most offputting time of it. He was a prince, damnit – he should not be subjected to these sorts of ordeals. Well, alright, so he wasn’t really a prince, but he WAS a prince among men, and since he’d never known who his father was, what was to say that he wasn’t a prince after all? Those rumours that his mother had quite simply slept with the gardener were just that, after all – rumours.
Anyway, the situation in Atikaya’s life was fast growing desperate. He was twenty seven and still a virgin. This wasn’t because women didn’t want to sleep with him, you understand. In fact, he’d had as many as three offers from three different prostitutes. Alright, so he suspected that one of them had really been a man, but an offer was an offer after all.
The problem was, because of his deep and abiding devotion to the Islamic faith, Atikaya was permitted only to sleep with a virgin wife, and he didn’t know where to find one of those. Virgins were rare enough, but wives? Virgin wives? Where on earth was one to obtain one of those from?
There was nothing for it. He would have to embark on a search for his destiny.
Not knowing where to start, he decided to look locally first. The market seemed to be an eminently reasonable choice, for did they not sell all sorts of wares at the market? Perhaps, Atikaya thought, he could chance upon a vendor who stocked virgin wives.
It took a while, but after a great deal of browsing and a great many odd looks from the stall holders (really, how on earth was he to know that so many people sold pots and vases, rather than virgin wives?) Atikaya finally happened upon a likely looking seller, in the darkest, dankest, farthest corners of the market. He had a whole lot of women in a tent behind him, in any case. They were, for the most part, rather dirty looking, but no matter. They were women, and more importantly, they were alive. Now, he just needed to know if they were virgins, and for sale.
“Excuse me sir,” said Atikaya. “I am looking for a virgin wife.”
“Say what, guvnor?” said the stallholder, looking confused.
“I said,” said Atikaya in a slightly louder voice. “I am looking for a virgin wife. She must be a virgin, and she must be my wife. I am a virgin too, you see, and it is time I was not a virgin anymore, but I can only sleep with my wife. So I am looking for a wife. I will be a good husband. I have a six pack, because I work out very often.” He nodded enthusiastically, patting his somewhat flabby stomach.
“Right guvner,” said the stallholder. “Well, my girls are all good clean girls. Dunno about the virgin thing, but they ain’t for sale anyway. You can rent them out. I charge by the hour.”
“Clean?” said Atikaya. “But they are not clean! Not if you cannot vouch for their virginities. They are most horribly dirty, then! I must take my business somewhere else, sir. Do you know of anyone who might be able to tell me where I could find a virgin wife?”
“I said they weren’t for sale already,” said the stallholder. “Well I don’t know. There’s that Wise Man fellow. He knows a lot of stuff. He knows everything, in fact. He might be able to help you.”
“Oh,” said Atikaya. “Oh, well that’s good, then! He’ll surely be able to help me!”
“Right,” said the stallholder, looking a little perturbed. “Er, he lives three houses down the road.”
It took some days for Atikaya to locate the Wise Man (he’d never been terribly good at following directions) but he got there, in the end. He knocked on the door, and was let in by one of the Wise Man’s household maids, and led into the parlour, where the Wise Man sat, drinking tea liberally spiked with beer, and smoking a joint.
“Good day,” said the Wise Man in a distinctly English accent (not surprising, since he was English), setting his tea cup and joint down. “What may I do for you, sir?”
“Hullo!” said Atikaya, setting himself down comfortably on one of the chairs in the room. “I’m Prince Atikaya. And I’m looking for a virgin wife. Well, I’m just looking for a virgin, really. I can lure her into being my wife easily enough, with my six pack abs. I work out a lot, you know.”
“No, you don’t,” said the Wise Man.
“Well, no. But these abs were given to me by Allah, so I don’t have to work out.”
“No, they weren’t,” said the Wise Man.
“That’s beside the point,” said Atikaya. “The point, Mr Wise Man, is that I need to get laid, fast. Any ideas?”
“My name is Killallhippies,” said the Wise Man. “And I am, indeed, a Wise Man. But you can just call be Joe.”
“Joe?” said Atikaya. “Why, is that your real name?”
“No,” said the Wise Man. “I already said my name was Killallhippies.”
“Er,” said Atikaya. “Ok. But about my wife? How do I go about finding one?”
“You,” said the Wise Man, “Will never be able to get laid by a woman from this land.”
“WHAT?” Atikaya exclaimed indignantly, jumping to his feet. “You stupid whitey!” he gesticulated wildly. “You don’t know anything! What do you mean, I’ll never get laid? I have abs, damnit!”
“No, you don’t,” said the Wise Man.
“Yes I do!” Atikaya shrieked. “But that’s not the point. You don’t know anything!”
“Actually,” said the Wise Man, “I know quite a lot. But I’m rather well versed in religion, specifically.”
“Allah is all,” said Atikaya. “That’s all I need to know about religion. But I can see I’m never going to be able to teach you the basics. You’re too stupid.”
“Yes, well,” said the Wise Man patiently. “As I was saying, you’re never going to get laid by anybody in this land.”
“Fhack!” said Atikaya. “That’s forking bullsheet! You’re a forking phag, that’s what you are! A forking liar, too!”
“Er,” said the Wise Man. “This IS a porn board, you know. You can say fuck.”
“I can’t,” said Atikaya. “It’s my religion. I am forbidden from profanity. And what’s this about a porn board?”
“Do you realise what a hypocritical fuckwit you are?” the Wise Man demanded. “Why has somebody not yet shot you?”
“Don’t be a phag,” said Atikaya. “Tell me how I can get laid.”
“Racist too,” the Wise Man muttered. “Well,” he began. “You’d have more luck trying to lure some girl in over the internet. You can just give them false pictures of yourself, and they don’t even have to listen to your whiney little voice. You’ll at least stand a chance that way.”
“The internet!” Atikaya exclaimed. “But girls on the internet are always fat! And I’m not racist. I was just playing with words, you know. Like, I can call a black man black, and that’s not racist.”
“Dude,” said the Wise Man. “Take what you can get. You’ll be lucky if doesn’t take one look at you and decides to stab you to death.”
“Very well,” said Atikaya, marching decisively towards the door. “I shall seek out a woman, across the internet, and I shall lure her into marrying me, with my six pack!”
“There is one more thing,” said the Wise Man. “One thing you MUST remember, at all costs.”
“Yeah, what?” said Atikaya.
“I like cheese.”
And that was how Atikaya came to be on Literotica, looking for a wife.
Prince Atikaya was having a most offputting time of it. He was a prince, damnit – he should not be subjected to these sorts of ordeals. Well, alright, so he wasn’t really a prince, but he WAS a prince among men, and since he’d never known who his father was, what was to say that he wasn’t a prince after all? Those rumours that his mother had quite simply slept with the gardener were just that, after all – rumours.
Anyway, the situation in Atikaya’s life was fast growing desperate. He was twenty seven and still a virgin. This wasn’t because women didn’t want to sleep with him, you understand. In fact, he’d had as many as three offers from three different prostitutes. Alright, so he suspected that one of them had really been a man, but an offer was an offer after all.
The problem was, because of his deep and abiding devotion to the Islamic faith, Atikaya was permitted only to sleep with a virgin wife, and he didn’t know where to find one of those. Virgins were rare enough, but wives? Virgin wives? Where on earth was one to obtain one of those from?
There was nothing for it. He would have to embark on a search for his destiny.
Not knowing where to start, he decided to look locally first. The market seemed to be an eminently reasonable choice, for did they not sell all sorts of wares at the market? Perhaps, Atikaya thought, he could chance upon a vendor who stocked virgin wives.
It took a while, but after a great deal of browsing and a great many odd looks from the stall holders (really, how on earth was he to know that so many people sold pots and vases, rather than virgin wives?) Atikaya finally happened upon a likely looking seller, in the darkest, dankest, farthest corners of the market. He had a whole lot of women in a tent behind him, in any case. They were, for the most part, rather dirty looking, but no matter. They were women, and more importantly, they were alive. Now, he just needed to know if they were virgins, and for sale.
“Excuse me sir,” said Atikaya. “I am looking for a virgin wife.”
“Say what, guvnor?” said the stallholder, looking confused.
“I said,” said Atikaya in a slightly louder voice. “I am looking for a virgin wife. She must be a virgin, and she must be my wife. I am a virgin too, you see, and it is time I was not a virgin anymore, but I can only sleep with my wife. So I am looking for a wife. I will be a good husband. I have a six pack, because I work out very often.” He nodded enthusiastically, patting his somewhat flabby stomach.
“Right guvner,” said the stallholder. “Well, my girls are all good clean girls. Dunno about the virgin thing, but they ain’t for sale anyway. You can rent them out. I charge by the hour.”
“Clean?” said Atikaya. “But they are not clean! Not if you cannot vouch for their virginities. They are most horribly dirty, then! I must take my business somewhere else, sir. Do you know of anyone who might be able to tell me where I could find a virgin wife?”
“I said they weren’t for sale already,” said the stallholder. “Well I don’t know. There’s that Wise Man fellow. He knows a lot of stuff. He knows everything, in fact. He might be able to help you.”
“Oh,” said Atikaya. “Oh, well that’s good, then! He’ll surely be able to help me!”
“Right,” said the stallholder, looking a little perturbed. “Er, he lives three houses down the road.”
It took some days for Atikaya to locate the Wise Man (he’d never been terribly good at following directions) but he got there, in the end. He knocked on the door, and was let in by one of the Wise Man’s household maids, and led into the parlour, where the Wise Man sat, drinking tea liberally spiked with beer, and smoking a joint.
“Good day,” said the Wise Man in a distinctly English accent (not surprising, since he was English), setting his tea cup and joint down. “What may I do for you, sir?”
“Hullo!” said Atikaya, setting himself down comfortably on one of the chairs in the room. “I’m Prince Atikaya. And I’m looking for a virgin wife. Well, I’m just looking for a virgin, really. I can lure her into being my wife easily enough, with my six pack abs. I work out a lot, you know.”
“No, you don’t,” said the Wise Man.
“Well, no. But these abs were given to me by Allah, so I don’t have to work out.”
“No, they weren’t,” said the Wise Man.
“That’s beside the point,” said Atikaya. “The point, Mr Wise Man, is that I need to get laid, fast. Any ideas?”
“My name is Killallhippies,” said the Wise Man. “And I am, indeed, a Wise Man. But you can just call be Joe.”
“Joe?” said Atikaya. “Why, is that your real name?”
“No,” said the Wise Man. “I already said my name was Killallhippies.”
“Er,” said Atikaya. “Ok. But about my wife? How do I go about finding one?”
“You,” said the Wise Man, “Will never be able to get laid by a woman from this land.”
“WHAT?” Atikaya exclaimed indignantly, jumping to his feet. “You stupid whitey!” he gesticulated wildly. “You don’t know anything! What do you mean, I’ll never get laid? I have abs, damnit!”
“No, you don’t,” said the Wise Man.
“Yes I do!” Atikaya shrieked. “But that’s not the point. You don’t know anything!”
“Actually,” said the Wise Man, “I know quite a lot. But I’m rather well versed in religion, specifically.”
“Allah is all,” said Atikaya. “That’s all I need to know about religion. But I can see I’m never going to be able to teach you the basics. You’re too stupid.”
“Yes, well,” said the Wise Man patiently. “As I was saying, you’re never going to get laid by anybody in this land.”
“Fhack!” said Atikaya. “That’s forking bullsheet! You’re a forking phag, that’s what you are! A forking liar, too!”
“Er,” said the Wise Man. “This IS a porn board, you know. You can say fuck.”
“I can’t,” said Atikaya. “It’s my religion. I am forbidden from profanity. And what’s this about a porn board?”
“Do you realise what a hypocritical fuckwit you are?” the Wise Man demanded. “Why has somebody not yet shot you?”
“Don’t be a phag,” said Atikaya. “Tell me how I can get laid.”
“Racist too,” the Wise Man muttered. “Well,” he began. “You’d have more luck trying to lure some girl in over the internet. You can just give them false pictures of yourself, and they don’t even have to listen to your whiney little voice. You’ll at least stand a chance that way.”
“The internet!” Atikaya exclaimed. “But girls on the internet are always fat! And I’m not racist. I was just playing with words, you know. Like, I can call a black man black, and that’s not racist.”
“Dude,” said the Wise Man. “Take what you can get. You’ll be lucky if doesn’t take one look at you and decides to stab you to death.”
“Very well,” said Atikaya, marching decisively towards the door. “I shall seek out a woman, across the internet, and I shall lure her into marrying me, with my six pack!”
“There is one more thing,” said the Wise Man. “One thing you MUST remember, at all costs.”
“Yeah, what?” said Atikaya.
“I like cheese.”
And that was how Atikaya came to be on Literotica, looking for a wife.
busybody..
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Hey BG
Would you do me, Please
I mean a story about me
BTW, you are real cute and super adorable in that pic!
Would you do me, Please
I mean a story about me
BTW, you are real cute and super adorable in that pic!
busybody said:Hey BG
Would you do me, Please
I mean a story about me
BTW, you are real cute and super adorable in that pic!
did you like my atikaya story?
i couldn't do you...i actually like you. i don't think i could be mean enough to make it funny. or if i was, i would feel bad.
thank you.
busybody..
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Make me bad, thats oK!
busybody..
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I have that guy on IGGY, so I wouldnt understand the story.
But I will read it K?
But I will read it K?
busybody..
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Yes BG
I read it
Very good, and imaginative!
You are good!
I read it
Very good, and imaginative!
You are good!
killallhippies
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sweet.
G
Guest
Guest
Oscuridad...the legend of Dracula revisited.
Legend has it that the man we today refer to as ‘Dracula’ was a vicious man, a murderous human being. He is said to have spent over 10 years in prison and to have been killed shortly after returning to power. This simply is not so. It was, in fact, an elaborate ruse to throw history off his trail. Perhaps it is time to dispel the myth.
Vlad Dracula as history reports him is better known as Oscuridad. During his early years of power in Wallachia, Oscuridad ran into a man who was nearly a mirror image of himself. It was thought by those who knew them both that they could have been twins. Their features were strikingly similar. To the casual eye one could not tell the difference. Oscuridad tempted this young man with power and money, in exchange for his allegiance. The young man, who was no more than a blacksmith, greedily accepted the prince’s offer.
For months Oscuridad trained the poor blacksmith in the ways of the kingdom. Teaching him the manners he lacked, dressing him appropriately and preparing him to rule in his stead. Fortunately for the prince, the young man was a fast learner and was soon able to cover for him as he ran off to enjoy time alone.
His travels led him far from home, for fear of being recognized. He set up a home in a far off village and held fabulous parties. He was known for having a way with women, his chivalry could not be matched. Each lady he seduced, he did so with charm and grace and always left them wanting more.
On each neck he left his mark, puncture wounds from his feedings. For you see, Oscuridad was also a vampire. The women found his needs erotic and never said a word. They gladly wore his mark and offered themselves to him as he needed.
One day he had a thought, “I shall start a personal harem, where all these lovely ladies can be at my beck and call.” That day he purchased a castle outside of the village and invited the ladies one by one to serve him.
“I want to build an empire!” He exclaimed one day, “The Oscuridad Empire; to be known around the world.” One by one he impregnated his women, insisting they would all bear him strapping young boys, much like himself.
Much to his surprise the women all bore him daughters, but that did not stop him. One by one he impregnated them again, not a son was born. The castle was slowly running out of room, with all the nurseries toy rooms, yet not a son did he have.
Meanwhile…In the neighboring kingdom, things had gone amuck. The man he hired to cover for him had become a murderous tyrant and had been thrown in prison. This only worked to the prince’s advantage, as now the need to check back was gone.
It wasn’t until over a decade later that the Prince met his first challenge. A young pregnant woman whose beauty surpassed that of any he had ever known. He had to have her. She would have a son for him, he just knew it.
Throughout the next couple months the prince pursued her. Opening doors, offering an arm as she crossed the street, whatever he could to show her what a gentleman he was. He managed to learn that she had been recently widowed in a battle against his native kingdom no less, and that she was trying to prove that she could make it on her own.
One night the beauty allowed him to walk her home.
“Kind sir, I appreciate your help.” She stated softly as they reached her home. “I would prefer that you tell me what your intentions are with all this kindness you are bestowing one me.”
“That would be telling.” He replied smoothly.
“Yes, that it would be.” She replied back with the same level of confidence. “In that case, I’m afraid I cannot allow you to keep helping me. I have no interest in becoming a member of your harem. But I do thank you, just the same.” She planted a soft kiss on his cheek and walked away.
She left him stuttering at the door. Never had he been turned down, and never in such a manner. He should have just given up, but he did not.
The prince attempted to ignore her request, trying to find ways to help. This only proved to frustrate them both. Then one day she was gone. She left and was never seen in the town again.
Oscuridad decided that maybe it was time to return to his kingdom. It was on that he received the following note.
“Dearest Vlad,
Yes, I know who you are. You see; the blacksmith of which you hired to help you, was my husband. I was sent away to mourn the loss of my husband, only to find you. I am returning now to my kingdom. You have no reason to return anymore. The kingdom is in very capable hands, my first born son.
Enclosed is the key to the blacksmith shop, should you find yourself suddenly short on cash, now that you are thought to be dead.”
The shock and irony hit him hard. What was he to do now? Then it hit him…the plan of all plans. Now he had to tell his women of the situation, and convince them to help.
“We are broke.” Gasps broke out throughout the giant room. Whispers of ‘what shall we do?’ ‘What will become of us?’ filled the air. “But I have a plan!” announced the charismatic, dead prince.
From that point on the group worked together to produce what would later be known as Manga. With Oscuridad drawing, and the ladies being his inspiration (with him as the lead man of course), they created a work of art.
The village was at first shocked with this blatant disregard for the privacy of sexual acts, far less done in an animated form, but it grew on them quickly. The colorful portrayal of such intimacy fueled the fires of this little village and eventually across the globe.
Today we can read their work, or watch their feature length videos. All can be found under O’Daddy Productions.
Legend has it that the man we today refer to as ‘Dracula’ was a vicious man, a murderous human being. He is said to have spent over 10 years in prison and to have been killed shortly after returning to power. This simply is not so. It was, in fact, an elaborate ruse to throw history off his trail. Perhaps it is time to dispel the myth.
Vlad Dracula as history reports him is better known as Oscuridad. During his early years of power in Wallachia, Oscuridad ran into a man who was nearly a mirror image of himself. It was thought by those who knew them both that they could have been twins. Their features were strikingly similar. To the casual eye one could not tell the difference. Oscuridad tempted this young man with power and money, in exchange for his allegiance. The young man, who was no more than a blacksmith, greedily accepted the prince’s offer.
For months Oscuridad trained the poor blacksmith in the ways of the kingdom. Teaching him the manners he lacked, dressing him appropriately and preparing him to rule in his stead. Fortunately for the prince, the young man was a fast learner and was soon able to cover for him as he ran off to enjoy time alone.
His travels led him far from home, for fear of being recognized. He set up a home in a far off village and held fabulous parties. He was known for having a way with women, his chivalry could not be matched. Each lady he seduced, he did so with charm and grace and always left them wanting more.
On each neck he left his mark, puncture wounds from his feedings. For you see, Oscuridad was also a vampire. The women found his needs erotic and never said a word. They gladly wore his mark and offered themselves to him as he needed.
One day he had a thought, “I shall start a personal harem, where all these lovely ladies can be at my beck and call.” That day he purchased a castle outside of the village and invited the ladies one by one to serve him.
“I want to build an empire!” He exclaimed one day, “The Oscuridad Empire; to be known around the world.” One by one he impregnated his women, insisting they would all bear him strapping young boys, much like himself.
Much to his surprise the women all bore him daughters, but that did not stop him. One by one he impregnated them again, not a son was born. The castle was slowly running out of room, with all the nurseries toy rooms, yet not a son did he have.
Meanwhile…In the neighboring kingdom, things had gone amuck. The man he hired to cover for him had become a murderous tyrant and had been thrown in prison. This only worked to the prince’s advantage, as now the need to check back was gone.
It wasn’t until over a decade later that the Prince met his first challenge. A young pregnant woman whose beauty surpassed that of any he had ever known. He had to have her. She would have a son for him, he just knew it.
Throughout the next couple months the prince pursued her. Opening doors, offering an arm as she crossed the street, whatever he could to show her what a gentleman he was. He managed to learn that she had been recently widowed in a battle against his native kingdom no less, and that she was trying to prove that she could make it on her own.
One night the beauty allowed him to walk her home.
“Kind sir, I appreciate your help.” She stated softly as they reached her home. “I would prefer that you tell me what your intentions are with all this kindness you are bestowing one me.”
“That would be telling.” He replied smoothly.
“Yes, that it would be.” She replied back with the same level of confidence. “In that case, I’m afraid I cannot allow you to keep helping me. I have no interest in becoming a member of your harem. But I do thank you, just the same.” She planted a soft kiss on his cheek and walked away.
She left him stuttering at the door. Never had he been turned down, and never in such a manner. He should have just given up, but he did not.
The prince attempted to ignore her request, trying to find ways to help. This only proved to frustrate them both. Then one day she was gone. She left and was never seen in the town again.
Oscuridad decided that maybe it was time to return to his kingdom. It was on that he received the following note.
“Dearest Vlad,
Yes, I know who you are. You see; the blacksmith of which you hired to help you, was my husband. I was sent away to mourn the loss of my husband, only to find you. I am returning now to my kingdom. You have no reason to return anymore. The kingdom is in very capable hands, my first born son.
Enclosed is the key to the blacksmith shop, should you find yourself suddenly short on cash, now that you are thought to be dead.”
The shock and irony hit him hard. What was he to do now? Then it hit him…the plan of all plans. Now he had to tell his women of the situation, and convince them to help.
“We are broke.” Gasps broke out throughout the giant room. Whispers of ‘what shall we do?’ ‘What will become of us?’ filled the air. “But I have a plan!” announced the charismatic, dead prince.
From that point on the group worked together to produce what would later be known as Manga. With Oscuridad drawing, and the ladies being his inspiration (with him as the lead man of course), they created a work of art.
The village was at first shocked with this blatant disregard for the privacy of sexual acts, far less done in an animated form, but it grew on them quickly. The colorful portrayal of such intimacy fueled the fires of this little village and eventually across the globe.
Today we can read their work, or watch their feature length videos. All can be found under O’Daddy Productions.
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