One_ping_only
Married
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2023
- Posts
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I'm sure it's been on his mind each and every day ...... often too!!!Yes, that was crazy to me too. He brought it up very smoothly so she offered the info.
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I'm sure it's been on his mind each and every day ...... often too!!!Yes, that was crazy to me too. He brought it up very smoothly so she offered the info.
People use their phones for a bunch of things including communications with family and friends. What if, the wife's sister confided something to her in confidence, now the snooping husband might have information that is none of his business. What if she were planning some sort of surprise for her husband that she is coordinating with others? Now they both lose out because he's snooping. It's beyond this one thing this thread is about.Kinda not cool to keep secrets in a marriage.
What would my wife be doing with her phone that she doesn't want me to know about? If she wants to flirt with some other guy, she knows she can do that. If she wants to coordinate to meet him and have sex, she can do that too.
And if she can do that with another man, I can do the same with another woman.
Keeping secrets is about changing that balance and trying to manipulate one into thinking the other is faithful.
I know of one marriage which ended due to the wife sexting and dissing her husband in texts to another guy. The husband's attitude was "If you think so little of me, then why are we married?"
Humans are creatures of habit. We all fall into our routines, and we depend on our routines to make life easier. The more things we do by routine, the less stress we have with making decisions.People use their phones for a bunch of things including communications with family and friends. What if, the wife's sister confided something to her in confidence, now the snooping husband might have information that is none of his business. What if she were planning some sort of surprise for her husband that she is coordinating with others? Now they both lose out because he's snooping. It's beyond this one thing this thread is about.
You have me on the edge of my seat on this one, can't wait to hear more. What an interesting situation. A bit scary and exciting at the same time!So she's off shopping. The meetup is not confirmed, she's hoping to lure him out for a drink when she is in his area. She's wearing dressy mom-ish attire - skirt and blouse with strappy sandals, not the fuck-me dress she was musing about earlier this week. However, she is wearing her favorite set of sexy matching bra and panties, and you know what they say "if she is wearing matching bra and panties, it wasn't your idea to have sex." Unfortunately it was a very busy day for us so we didn't have a chance to discuss any of this and I also didn't get to help her prepare for the potential of this becoming a date. This leaves me completely blind as to what her plans are or what could happen. Next update probably when she gets home - I am guessing in 6-8 hours either way.
Or maybe tomorrow in time for lunch.So she's off shopping. The meetup is not confirmed, she's hoping to lure him out for a drink when she is in his area. She's wearing dressy mom-ish attire - skirt and blouse with strappy sandals, not the fuck-me dress she was musing about earlier this week. However, she is wearing her favorite set of sexy matching bra and panties, and you know what they say "if she is wearing matching bra and panties, it wasn't your idea to have sex." Unfortunately it was a very busy day for us so we didn't have a chance to discuss any of this and I also didn't get to help her prepare for the potential of this becoming a date. This leaves me completely blind as to what her plans are or what could happen. Next update probably when she gets home - I am guessing in 6-8 hours either way.
She's not exactly being honest with him, and the dude alludes to her acting dodgy. The fact that he's into it is irrelevant to the trust issue.Kinda not cool spying on her phone...
Your emergency analogy is kind of a strawman argument. I get the couple bubble thing, but there are even exceptions to that. If all of your people knows your wife shares everything, they either won't tell her what they don't want shared, or will ask her to make an exception. But again that is your relationship. What's important to me is that my partner doesn't feel that I'm spying on her, and that I trust her. She'll tell me what she needs to tell me. I won't demand it.Humans are creatures of habit. We all fall into our routines, and we depend on our routines to make life easier. The more things we do by routine, the less stress we have with making decisions.
So, people have their routines with their communications, too. My wife tells me who she communicates with via texts or Facebook messages. And she readily shares those with me. Everyone she knows also knows she shares with me. So, someone "confiding" a secret to her via text would realize I'm in on that secret. As for a surprise party, she doesn't do those things due to the stress of trying to keep a secret from me. None of the couples we know with happy, stable marriages ever try to set up such surprises on their spouse. I guess such secret activities are for the young, who are still into complicating their lives.
If my wife's cellphone was pinging with incoming texts late at night and she wasn't near it to pick up, I would be concerned there's an emergency with one of our friends or relatives. And that's what happened with a friend, his wife's phone was pinging with texts which she was responding to over and over on a holiday evening, when it was out of routine for her. None of her usual contacts would have been texting her that evening, and she wasn't telling him what was going on. So, the next day, the husband looked at her unlocked phone and noticed the texts.
Which is more important: Your ability to keep secret communications from your spouse? Or your spouse's feelings? If you choose the first, then it's up to your spouse to make a choice, too. And the worst betrayals are those you find with misplaced trust, which is what happened when the husband read those texts.
My comment is based on more than this one aspect of their life.She's not exactly being honest with him, and the dude alludes to her acting dodgy. The fact that he's into it is irrelevant to the trust issue.
I'm also disappointed about how okay this guy is with how secretive his wife is being. That doesn't seem very healthy. This kind of reads like he's trying so hard to make this work and be supportive of his wife that he's okay with them not communicating and working together every step of the way.
People are very open in communicating with my wife, because they trust US. There have been a few times when I've seen my wife talking with someone when something seemed amiss. When I would ask her "What's that about?", the most secretive she's been was to avoid answering by replying "I'll tell you later."Your emergency analogy is kind of a strawman argument. I get the couple bubble thing, but there are even exceptions to that. If all of your people knows your wife shares everything, they either won't tell her what they don't want shared, or will ask her to make an exception. But again that is your relationship. What's important to me is that my partner doesn't feel that I'm spying on her, and that I trust her. She'll tell me what she needs to tell me. I won't demand it.
So thereās a 4-sum in your future?My husbands wife has a boyfriend.
So thereās a 4-sum in your futureMy husbands wife has a boyfriend.
Yeah, if trust only comes from being told everything, I don't think that's truly trust. I trust my partner completely, and that means if she needs to say "I can't tell you _____" then I know there are things in play that are none of my business. I'm glad you and yours have a good vibe. My and mine is different.People are very open in communicating with my wife, because they trust US. There have been a few times when I've seen my wife talking with someone when something seemed amiss. When I would ask her "What's that about?", the most secretive she's been was to avoid answering by replying "I'll tell you later."
The whole issue is about TRUST. If you read my stories, you'll find that's a common theme in several of them. The wife's pact with her husband is "Never lie to me..." because she was lied to by a previous lover who used her. In the story "Trusted Employees", the corporate executives have investigators checking web sites like "Ashley Madison" for employees who keep secrets, because of the company internal problems it created when they were outed.
I consider your whole argument FOR a spouse's privacy to be a strawman. You're saying you don't want her to feel like you're spying on her. That's a strawman reason, because she won't feel spied upon unless she is trying to hide something from you. "You don't know what you don't know", and there is NO trust in such a relationship. Such a secretive couple are two people sharing a portion of their lives, and they're both missing out on the feelings of sharing everything together. But you can't know what you're missing until you feel it.
Guys who have never accidently fucked someone else's wife or girlfriend ... just are not very experienced or even trying.After reading this thread, I'm pretty sure I accidentally banged someone's wife/boyfriend/girlfriend or something. I gotta quit getting banged by, and or getting banged by randoms.
Nah, some asshole fucked my wife and 20 years later I still have issues with that. But I get it, it was her, if it hadnāt been that guy, prolly just woulda been some other guy. Thatās why I have a love/hate relationship with my wife. Iām not the kind of guy who likes to shareGuys who have never accidently fucked someone else's wife or girlfriend ... just are very experienced or even trying.
Had an āaccidentā like this once. Met a girl where we had instant mutual attraction. Like smoldering flirting. We start seeing each other and this relationship ran 3-4 months. She didnāt tell me she was married.Guys who have never accidently fucked someone else's wife or girlfriend ... just are very experienced or even trying.