Summer Title Challenge

[AlwaysHungry]

#1 has its moments. I like "With all the suddenness of birth" and "stripped off the bleak I wore", but otherwise it largely reads like prose (except the "Winter out the door" refrain, which was getting old by the end of the poem.) I appreciate the rhyme and meter, except that the meter is a bumpy ride: lines 4, 6, 10, 13 and 16 go off the rails a bit.

 

[butters]

was yours no.3, AH? you can pm me if you don't want to give it away yet here

 

[Magnetron]

Hrmmmm .............................

2 = Harry

5 = UnderYourSpell

8 = pelegrino

9 = greenmountaineer

11 = pelegrino

17 = todski

 

[AlwaysHungry]

#2 seems larded with insider references -- maybe Robert knows what is going on there. As for myself, I was bewildered.

#6 is very charming -- I can't resist the subject matter. But the "(otherwise)" in the final line is a distraction -- it seems explanatory and for me, it interrupts the mood.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

was yours no.3, AH? you can pm me if you don't want to give it away yet here

Nah, I'm not that intellectual. That one is impressive, though, and I will take the time to comment more extensively on that one.

I realize that I'm a bit of a wild card in this guessing game, although you can read my stuff out there in the main Literotica section and quickly learn to recognize my schticks.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Actually, I have mixed feelings about #3. Some of the imagery is drop-dead gorgeous:

And the snowmelt waterfalls draping down
Like summer's own hair.

But on the other hand, I think that the poem has an overall didactic, lecturing quality. I think that it were better to lead the reader to the desired conclusion more surreptitiously.

 

[butters]

Nah, I'm not that intellectual. That one is impressive, though, and I will take the time to comment more extensively on that one.

I realize that I'm a bit of a wild card in this guessing game, although you can read my stuff out there in the main Literotica section and quickly learn to recognize my schticks.

unfortunately,with the boss off for a month with another 3 weeks minimum to go i'm working 6 days a week straight with not enough staff, so finding time or the frame of mind to go reading isn't on the cards right now, though i do look forward to getting there!

 

[Magnetron]

I wish I could have devoted more time to this comp, but so much was going on around the farm. Landscaping, building fences, training the chickens to attack Jehova Witnesses on command like little velociraptors, etc.

Not too mention, powering through a reccurring sinus infection - lacking sleep and all hopped up on anti histamines.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I'm a highly opinionated dude, and I apologize if come off as a bit blunt. My conception of poetry is that it exists to communicate ideas that cannot be adequately expressed in prose. If you buy my conception, and of course you need not do that, #13 is not a poem. It's a leaflet.

 

[stlgoddessfreya]

#2 seems larded with insider references -- maybe Robert knows what is going on there. As for myself, I was bewildered.

Robert and a decent used bookstore do, sure. The references are to works by Robert Heinlein:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Door_into_Summer

 

[AlwaysHungry]

Robert and a decent used bookstore do, sure. The references are to works by Robert Heinlein:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Door_into_Summer

Ach, so.

 

[Magnetron]

I'm a highly opinionated dude, and I apologize if come off as a bit blunt. My conception of poetry is that it exists to communicate ideas that cannot be adequately expressed in prose. If you buy my conception, and of course you need not do that, #13 is not a poem. It's a leaflet.

I would quantify #13 as a song because it has a musicality that prose could likewise not adequately express.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I love the ironic ending to #17. I'm wondering about one line:

fingers play with your beasts

Was that a typo, or intentional?

 

[Angeline]

#2 Harry (but he gave it away so I would not have guessed it otherwise)

#9 Greenmountaineer

#7, 13, 16, 19 Magnetron

#14 Champagne

# 17 todski

# 11 UYS


That's all I got for now...

 

[Magnetron]

Well, shit ....... I just remembered I started composing another entry last night before falling asleep and never got around to writing it down this morning.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

There's a lot of shut doors, which says a lot!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Good start I've been misguessed and gone off the rails!

 

[HarryHill]

And we fairies, that do run
 By the triple Hecate’s team
 From the presence of the sun,
 Following darkness like a dream,
 Now are frolic. Not a mouse
 Shall disturb this hallowed house.
 I am sent with broom before
 To sweep the dust behind the door.

..
Hey man, how've you been, love the poem

...and dance the sun lit motes
those Fay that flee the broom

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Trying to do some elimination here, based on those that have been here a while and wouldn't start each line with a capital letter. Yeah I'm rubbish at reading individual 'voices'!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

6. Butters?

 

[bflagsst]

..
Hey man, how've you been, love the poem

...and dance the sun lit motes
those Fay that flee the broom

I'm good. This challenge was interesting to me because it coincided with a poem I've been working on a little bit and some of the ideas that have emerged from these poems have inspired me toward completing it.

 

[Magnetron]

I already have my winner picked.

It is #10.

Or perhaps #11.

 

[Magnetron]

Interesting that 2, 4 and 16 were science fiction themed/related pieces.

13 was almost there, but leans more towards an end of the world catastrophe film.

11 has a sci-fi feel to it as well.

 

[todski28]

I guess I should just put my name inside the body of the poem :hangs head:

 

[AlwaysHungry]

The wordplay in #14 reminds me of someone -- maybe Odgen Nash?