Your manifesto for the post of GB Moderator.

[DesEsseintes]

Yes, I know there isn't one. And I also know that Lit is a benevolent dictatorship, under the twin rule of LaurelManu, High Queenking of all the pervs.

But, inspired by Our Lady of Garnate's recent elevation to the HT Seraphim, I did wonder what qualities the relevant candidate would need to succeed in what must be the hardest job online. What gets someone blocked, or banned, in this haven of free speech? What punishments for the LitCHat offenders? And is there any use in Bunnyslippers and NeverEndingMe, except perhaps as meaty kindling for the final Literotica Götterdämmerung?

Post your manifestos here. We may even have a (non-binding and wholly irrelevant) vote after a while, to gauge the mood of you freaks and despise it properly from a position of strength.

(I know this is probably far from original. It's not been done in the last year, to my knowledge, and to someone with my attention span, honed in the soft school of The PlayArea, that's an eternity.)​

 

[dolf]

i'm lazy. spam & pedos is the bare minimum, so spam & pedos is all i'd deal with. the rest of the shit, you arseholes can fight it out amongst yourselves.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I would ban cunts. That's it.

 

[DesEsseintes]

i'm lazy. spam & pedos is the bare minimum, so spam & pedos is all i'd deal with. the rest of the shit, you arseholes can fight it out amongst yourselves.

Eloquent, precise and combative, madam. A noble start - thank you.

I would ban cunts. That's it.

Well, yes. Except round these parts that would count as genocide.

 

[PayDay]

I would forcefully move all multi threads by single posters into one with a shitty title.

I would make a sticky on how to search.

I will make lots of spelling errors when posting.

I would also lock threads if the topic already exists, but link the thread to it first.

I would do this at least once a day.

...and plus regular Mod stuff:
I would not attempt to hack Lit if given special forum privs or single out any individual fuckhead poster.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Mods should be made to iggy mods.


Just sayin'.


I had Laurel on iggy for a long time because of the Blurt Thread, but No Fucking More, God damn it!!!

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

My Manifesto

All the playground types really, really hate me, therefore, I would be able to clear up the boards with a clear conscience as I move their little racialist fluff threads over to where they really belong and we could go back to discussing issues, and boy do I have issues...



I would keep all of the porn gif and vids,

There, out in the darkness
A playgrounder running
Fallen from Lit
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

They know their way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lit
Those who follow the path of the Liteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flames
The sword!

...

And so it must be, for so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who alter and those who fluff
Must pay the price!

Laurel, let me find them
That I may see them
Safe in Personals
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!

 

[DesEsseintes]

All the playground types really, really hate me, therefore, I would be able to clear up the boards with a clear conscience as I move their little racialist fluff threads over to where they really belong and we could go back to discussing issues, and boy do I have issues...



I would keep all of the porn gif and vids,

There, out in the darkness
A playgrounder running
Fallen from Lit
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

They know their way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lit
Those who follow the path of the Liteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flames
The sword!

...

And so it must be, for so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who alter and those who fluff
Must pay the price!

Laurel, let me find them
That I may see them
Safe in Personals
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!

My personal front-runner so far. Such cheerful insanity would go a long way in this post.

 

[doctor_insanus]

I would ban cunts. That's it.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Of course, being in front is a good way to get fragged by your own troops.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Of course, being in front is a good way to get fragged by your own troops.

Superb! The first conspiracy theory of the election.

This is going to make The Manchurian Candidate look like Mr Smith goes to Washington by page 3.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

I am a potted PG plant...




I'm just recycling and altering old Byron-in-Exile posts for the most part.

I have no independent or original thoughts.

Ask anyone...

 

[Wat_Tyler]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/09446db075f41b9f4d7f805dbfcece6c/tumblr_nealjsvbhb1r93seso1_500.jpg

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Teen guys the world over are praying to this...



... even the ones firing AKs out the back of their Toyota trucks.

 

[PayDay]

Teen guys the world over are praying to this...



... even the ones firing AKs out the back of their Toyota trucks.

That's a picture of a guy.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

That's a picture of a guy.

Not where I come from.



That would get your ass kicked!

Then again..., hmmm..., there's always "Deliverance."

 

[Wat_Tyler]

A good mod would create a never-ending morning coffee thread and make LM accept it as sacrosanct.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/b0f0e5c3cc3547cded02f36fdd266791/tumblr_mwmwtruxzp1rxkt25o1_1280.jpg

 

[PayDay]

A good mod would create a never-ending morning coffee thread and make LM accept it as sacrosanct.

A good mod would know that's already in the AH.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Teen guys the world over are praying to this...



... even the ones firing AKs out the back of their Toyota trucks.

That Bitch is like one of our (former) posters, it would seem.


I haven't been fucked like that since elementary school.


When I was 18 . . .


in Second Grade . . . .

 

[Wat_Tyler]

A good mod would know that's already in the AH.

We're not in the AH.


A man has got to know his limitations . . . .

http://images1.memedroid.com/images/UPLOADED16/4ff6642f8ceb9.jpeg

 

[RobDownSouth]

I would wile away the weekends...
gazing at Dolf's rear end..
Pretendin' I was God

With the powah over Fata
I could make her post her ta-tas
If I only was a Mod!

The tards would likely cower
In front of my new power
in Laurel's little squad

And my crotch I'd be scratchin
Checkin' IP numbers matchin'
If I only was a mod

 

[subdued_passion]

My manifesto for the post of GB Mod-

Get rid of all the stickies. That is all.

I'd also relabel all the board names to leave the regulars confused about the threads that show up when they login.

And finally I'd disable the Ignore function for a day.

Yup. That's really it.

 

[RobDownSouth]

I have no independent or original thoughts.

Ask anyone...

Can confirm.
Last documented original thought was December 19, 2008.

 

[oggbashan]

I'd do nothing except remove spam.

Unless there are several threads asking for me to be replaced by someone who does something.

Then I might do something, or not.

 

[unregistered]