Your best or your worst PM or IM opening lines... and if you want your reactions ...
- Thread starter RedHairedandFriendly
- Start date
Sensualdreamer
~Queen of Tease~
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2010
- Posts
- 23,462
My reaction: Welcome to my ignore list. You didn't even fucking READ my profile 
~~~
Hi there - saw your profile and just had to get in touch. I'm English, 29 yrs old, constantly horny and love to write erotically, be it short messages or longer stories. I've attached a little sample below; let me know if you'd like to hear how the story ends...
You open the door and I look you up and down and straight away my cock stiffens in my jeans. I smile at you and you smile back and turn around and lead me into your apartment. You’re wearing a skirt and as I follow you I watch your ass move and I know, somehow, that under that skirt you’re wearing nothing at all. You open the door to a bedroom and step inside and I step close behind you and place my hands on your hips and pull you to me and as I kiss your neck my hands run over your body – your thighs, your ass, up over your hips and waist to your breasts, where I find your nipples through your clothes and squeeze them gently. You push back against me and you feel my cock, rock hard, pressing through my jeans against your ass. You turn then in my arms to face me, and I kiss you on the lips, fully, deeply as I grab your ass with both hands. I close the door behind me with my foot and walk you slowly over to the bed, push you back so you sit down on the bed and I kneel in front of you and take off your slipper, hold your bare foot in my hand. You lie back on the bed as I raise your foot to my lips and begin to kiss your toes, one by one, kiss the underside of your foot, around your ankle, trace a path with my tongue up your calf to your knee, slowly kiss by inches up the inside of your thigh. Your skirt has ridden up now and you feel my tongue lapping against the very top of your leg, feel my face brush against the lips of your naked pussy. You hold your breath, expecting my tongue to part the wetness of your pussy lips, wanting it, and you feel my breath hot against you. But then I kneel back and raise your other foot and begin kissing your toes. And then I kiss up your other leg just the same and you imagine my tongue coming closer and closer to your pussy. And finally I’m there and you feel my wet tongue slip hot and urgent in one long stroke from your asshole to your clit. I taste your wetness and feel you pressing yourself against me and I slide my tongue back and forth along the full length of your pussy, slowly, firmly, and each time I reach your clit I flick it just once with the tip of my tongue. And now I’m licking your clit, up and down, around and around and you can hear the sound of my tongue wet against you beginning to move faster and the pleasure builds and you moan softly and it’s the first sound I’ve heard you make. I’m lapping faster now, the tip of my tongue dancing over your clit and then long strokes and then my tongue is long inside, moving inside of you, curling back. I push my tongue in and out of you and you feel me slip out and a finger slide back in instead, and then my tongue back on your clit, and then both, my tongue licking you, my finger sliding in and out, pushing against the roof of your pussy. The pace gets faster, firmer, and you feel a second finger inside you too, and the feeling builds and finally it explodes and you cum, shouting as you do, and you grab my head and wrap your legs around my, pulling me firmly in to your pussy as the waves of ecstasy roll over you.
You lie there, breathless, and you hear me struggling to pull off my jeans. And then I’m kneeling there in front of you, between your open legs, and I put my hands under your knees and hold your legs up, open, and you feel the length of my cock, thick and rock hard, lying against your pussy. You reach down and guide me into you, and groan as I gradually penetrate you with my full length, stretching you open, filling you. I pull out just as slowly and push back in over and over as I take off your top and your bra and I squeeze your tits as I push my cock inside you and I run my wet fingers around your nipples and pinch them gently. And then I lie down over you and kiss your breasts and suck on your nipples and now I’m not fucking you deeply but with only the very tip of my cock, just inside you, but getting faster and faster and faster. And then I kneel up straight and I’m fucking you properly, full deep hard strokes, and with my thumb I’m tracing circle round your glistening wet clit in time with every stroke. This goes on until I start to hear you moan and groan, see you grabbing at the sheet of the bed with your hands, and then I move you up onto the bed and lie down behind you, and I enter you firmly and reach around between your legs and part them and find your clit and again begin to stroke it as I fuck you deeply. I reach my other hand around your shoulder and grab your tits, and held like that, my cock pulling and pushing deep inside you, my finger slipping and sliding over your clit, you lie fixed in pleasure, the pleasure building and building, until eventually you explode again and you cum screaming this time and you feel me thrust inside you with my full length and hold myself there, still hard as a rock, waiting for you to recover.
And then… let me know if you’d like to hear more!
~~~
Hi there - saw your profile and just had to get in touch. I'm English, 29 yrs old, constantly horny and love to write erotically, be it short messages or longer stories. I've attached a little sample below; let me know if you'd like to hear how the story ends...
You open the door and I look you up and down and straight away my cock stiffens in my jeans. I smile at you and you smile back and turn around and lead me into your apartment. You’re wearing a skirt and as I follow you I watch your ass move and I know, somehow, that under that skirt you’re wearing nothing at all. You open the door to a bedroom and step inside and I step close behind you and place my hands on your hips and pull you to me and as I kiss your neck my hands run over your body – your thighs, your ass, up over your hips and waist to your breasts, where I find your nipples through your clothes and squeeze them gently. You push back against me and you feel my cock, rock hard, pressing through my jeans against your ass. You turn then in my arms to face me, and I kiss you on the lips, fully, deeply as I grab your ass with both hands. I close the door behind me with my foot and walk you slowly over to the bed, push you back so you sit down on the bed and I kneel in front of you and take off your slipper, hold your bare foot in my hand. You lie back on the bed as I raise your foot to my lips and begin to kiss your toes, one by one, kiss the underside of your foot, around your ankle, trace a path with my tongue up your calf to your knee, slowly kiss by inches up the inside of your thigh. Your skirt has ridden up now and you feel my tongue lapping against the very top of your leg, feel my face brush against the lips of your naked pussy. You hold your breath, expecting my tongue to part the wetness of your pussy lips, wanting it, and you feel my breath hot against you. But then I kneel back and raise your other foot and begin kissing your toes. And then I kiss up your other leg just the same and you imagine my tongue coming closer and closer to your pussy. And finally I’m there and you feel my wet tongue slip hot and urgent in one long stroke from your asshole to your clit. I taste your wetness and feel you pressing yourself against me and I slide my tongue back and forth along the full length of your pussy, slowly, firmly, and each time I reach your clit I flick it just once with the tip of my tongue. And now I’m licking your clit, up and down, around and around and you can hear the sound of my tongue wet against you beginning to move faster and the pleasure builds and you moan softly and it’s the first sound I’ve heard you make. I’m lapping faster now, the tip of my tongue dancing over your clit and then long strokes and then my tongue is long inside, moving inside of you, curling back. I push my tongue in and out of you and you feel me slip out and a finger slide back in instead, and then my tongue back on your clit, and then both, my tongue licking you, my finger sliding in and out, pushing against the roof of your pussy. The pace gets faster, firmer, and you feel a second finger inside you too, and the feeling builds and finally it explodes and you cum, shouting as you do, and you grab my head and wrap your legs around my, pulling me firmly in to your pussy as the waves of ecstasy roll over you.
You lie there, breathless, and you hear me struggling to pull off my jeans. And then I’m kneeling there in front of you, between your open legs, and I put my hands under your knees and hold your legs up, open, and you feel the length of my cock, thick and rock hard, lying against your pussy. You reach down and guide me into you, and groan as I gradually penetrate you with my full length, stretching you open, filling you. I pull out just as slowly and push back in over and over as I take off your top and your bra and I squeeze your tits as I push my cock inside you and I run my wet fingers around your nipples and pinch them gently. And then I lie down over you and kiss your breasts and suck on your nipples and now I’m not fucking you deeply but with only the very tip of my cock, just inside you, but getting faster and faster and faster. And then I kneel up straight and I’m fucking you properly, full deep hard strokes, and with my thumb I’m tracing circle round your glistening wet clit in time with every stroke. This goes on until I start to hear you moan and groan, see you grabbing at the sheet of the bed with your hands, and then I move you up onto the bed and lie down behind you, and I enter you firmly and reach around between your legs and part them and find your clit and again begin to stroke it as I fuck you deeply. I reach my other hand around your shoulder and grab your tits, and held like that, my cock pulling and pushing deep inside you, my finger slipping and sliding over your clit, you lie fixed in pleasure, the pleasure building and building, until eventually you explode again and you cum screaming this time and you feel me thrust inside you with my full length and hold myself there, still hard as a rock, waiting for you to recover.
And then… let me know if you’d like to hear more!
JennyNo1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 1, 2010
- Posts
- 23,459
My reaction: Welcome to my ignore list. You didn't even fucking READ my profile
~~~
Hi there - saw your profile and just had to get in touch. I'm English, 29 yrs old, constantly horny and love to write erotically, be it short messages or longer stories. I've attached a little sample below; let me know if you'd like to hear how the story ends...
You open the door and I look you up and down and straight away my cock stiffens in my jeans. I smile at you and you smile back and turn around and lead me into your apartment. You’re wearing a skirt and as I follow you I watch your ass move and I know, somehow, that under that skirt you’re wearing nothing at all. You open the door to a bedroom and step inside and I step close behind you and place my hands on your hips and pull you to me and as I kiss your neck my hands run over your body – your thighs, your ass, up over yadayadayadayada...............
HAHAHAHAHAHA! He's so busted - I just got the same exact, word-for-word thing!!!!! Isn't Lit great? It allows these people to bore the shit out of DOZENS of other people all at the same time!
Edensgarden
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2012
- Posts
- 5,014
My reaction: Welcome to my ignore list. You didn't even fucking READ my profile
You crack me up! Thanks for the laughs tonight.
Hidden_Icarus
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2012
- Posts
- 436
lolololol
Good luck getting any positive attention. You'll need it if you're going to act like a dick to people (and not in a good way).
Also, does anyone else get really annoyed at the overuse of 'mmmmm' when people can't think of anything else to say? I mean, it sounds good in the bedroom but it just doesn't translate well to text.
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
I am honored to have been included in the mass PM that was sent yesterday. It made me feel special to discover that I was in great company. 
to the ladies of Lit.
I also have sent a link to the thread back to the fellow that gave us all such individualized attention. It's my way of saying thanks.
And...
Yes, mmmmmm is so overused.
to the ladies of Lit.I also have sent a link to the thread back to the fellow that gave us all such individualized attention. It's my way of saying thanks.
And...
Yes, mmmmmm is so overused.
MollyDolly
50 Shades of Cray
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2007
- Posts
- 37,681
Uh, clearly excited to give birth to the progeny of such a gifted writer
P
Pervy_Sage
Guest
From Today
Are you black? If so, would you consider fucking my wife? She would love to feel a big, Mandingo cock in her tight white pussy...etc...
My response...
Paint your cock black have her call you Roscoe.
Are you black? If so, would you consider fucking my wife? She would love to feel a big, Mandingo cock in her tight white pussy...etc...
My response...
Paint your cock black have her call you Roscoe.
Yukki_love
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2011
- Posts
- 3,222
"well i think...you so fucking hot...and well wanted to chat
sooo....wanna chat?"
What a great way to start a conversation.
sooo....wanna chat?"
What a great way to start a conversation.
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
Ew, that's just creepy. *shudders*
*shakes head* That's a rough one too. . . yuck.
P
Pervy_Sage
Guest
"well i think...you so fucking hot...and well wanted to chat
sooo....wanna chat?"
What a great way to start a conversation.
Uhm...wanna chat??
crazy_sexy_cute
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2012
- Posts
- 206
Some guy told me his wife took sleeping pills and was knocked out... wanted to know if I wanted to have fun with her. Like really dude? Really?
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
That's a sick fellow too.
Yukki_love
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2011
- Posts
- 3,222
ummmm ummm sureeeee totallyyyy
*smacks self* Gosh I cant believe I just typed like that.
sereneone4u
quod nutrit me destruit
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2006
- Posts
- 52,079
My reaction: Welcome to my ignore list. You didn't even fucking READ my profile
~~~
Hi there - saw your profile and just had to get in touch. I'm English, 29 yrs old, constantly horny and love to write erotically, be it short messages or longer stories. I've attached a little sample below; let me know if you'd like to hear how the story ends...
You open the door and I look you up and down and straight away my cock stiffens in my jeans. I smile at you and you smile back and turn around and lead me into your apartment. You’re wearing a skirt and as I follow you I watch your ass move and I know, somehow, that under that skirt you’re wearing nothing at all. You open the door to a bedroom and step inside and I step close behind you and place my hands on your hips and pull you to me and as I kiss your neck my hands run over your body – your thighs, your ass, up over your hips and waist to your breasts, where I find your nipples through your clothes and squeeze them gently. You push back against me and you feel my cock, rock hard, pressing through my jeans against your ass. You turn then in my arms to face me, and I kiss you on the lips, fully, deeply as I grab your ass with both hands. I close the door behind me with my foot and walk you slowly over to the bed, push you back so you sit down on the bed and I kneel in front of you and take off your slipper, hold your bare foot in my hand. You lie back on the bed as I raise your foot to my lips and begin to kiss your toes, one by one, kiss the underside of your foot, around your ankle, trace a path with my tongue up your calf to your knee, slowly kiss by inches up the inside of your thigh. Your skirt has ridden up now and you feel my tongue lapping against the very top of your leg, feel my face brush against the lips of your naked pussy. You hold your breath, expecting my tongue to part the wetness of your pussy lips, wanting it, and you feel my breath hot against you. But then I kneel back and raise your other foot and begin kissing your toes. And then I kiss up your other leg just the same and you imagine my tongue coming closer and closer to your pussy. And finally I’m there and you feel my wet tongue slip hot and urgent in one long stroke from your asshole to your clit. I taste your wetness and feel you pressing yourself against me and I slide my tongue back and forth along the full length of your pussy, slowly, firmly, and each time I reach your clit I flick it just once with the tip of my tongue. And now I’m licking your clit, up and down, around and around and you can hear the sound of my tongue wet against you beginning to move faster and the pleasure builds and you moan softly and it’s the first sound I’ve heard you make. I’m lapping faster now, the tip of my tongue dancing over your clit and then long strokes and then my tongue is long inside, moving inside of you, curling back. I push my tongue in and out of you and you feel me slip out and a finger slide back in instead, and then my tongue back on your clit, and then both, my tongue licking you, my finger sliding in and out, pushing against the roof of your pussy. The pace gets faster, firmer, and you feel a second finger inside you too, and the feeling builds and finally it explodes and you cum, shouting as you do, and you grab my head and wrap your legs around my, pulling me firmly in to your pussy as the waves of ecstasy roll over you.
You lie there, breathless, and you hear me struggling to pull off my jeans. And then I’m kneeling there in front of you, between your open legs, and I put my hands under your knees and hold your legs up, open, and you feel the length of my cock, thick and rock hard, lying against your pussy. You reach down and guide me into you, and groan as I gradually penetrate you with my full length, stretching you open, filling you. I pull out just as slowly and push back in over and over as I take off your top and your bra and I squeeze your tits as I push my cock inside you and I run my wet fingers around your nipples and pinch them gently. And then I lie down over you and kiss your breasts and suck on your nipples and now I’m not fucking you deeply but with only the very tip of my cock, just inside you, but getting faster and faster and faster. And then I kneel up straight and I’m fucking you properly, full deep hard strokes, and with my thumb I’m tracing circle round your glistening wet clit in time with every stroke. This goes on until I start to hear you moan and groan, see you grabbing at the sheet of the bed with your hands, and then I move you up onto the bed and lie down behind you, and I enter you firmly and reach around between your legs and part them and find your clit and again begin to stroke it as I fuck you deeply. I reach my other hand around your shoulder and grab your tits, and held like that, my cock pulling and pushing deep inside you, my finger slipping and sliding over your clit, you lie fixed in pleasure, the pleasure building and building, until eventually you explode again and you cum screaming this time and you feel me thrust inside you with my full length and hold myself there, still hard as a rock, waiting for you to recover.
And then… let me know if you’d like to hear more!
LOL I got that one too!
Canasta_Jones
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2012
- Posts
- 160
JennyNo1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 1, 2010
- Posts
- 23,459
JennyNo1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 1, 2010
- Posts
- 23,459
you!
Billy_Verbier
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2011
- Posts
- 278
how about...
how does - Hi! How are you m'lady? What is your most enjoyable memory of being here in lit?
Does that work? Guess I will leave it up to the reader whether that is a best or worstest opening line!
guess it may have been a worstest....judging by the sound of crickets since I posted this thing!
how does - Hi! How are you m'lady? What is your most enjoyable memory of being here in lit?
Does that work? Guess I will leave it up to the reader whether that is a best or worstest opening line!
guess it may have been a worstest....judging by the sound of crickets since I posted this thing!
Last edited:
If you're asking whether or not it's a good opening line, the answer is a resounding no, not because it's impolite but because it's generic. Just read what the ladies (and even the occasional gentleman) have been saying here and the primary lesson quickly becomes obvious: Don't send "cold" PMs that have nothing to do with the recipient's profile or posts on Lit! You're better off waiting until you've interacted with a woman in a thread to contact her - in fact, some ladies here will ignore your PM if you haven't first talked to them on the board - but in cases where you do decide to contact someone cold, perhaps because you're answering a personal ad or just because their posts make you think that the two of you have something worthwhile in common, you had better make it clear from the outset that your message is aimed specifically at her because of something that she's said she's looking for or because of something she's shared on the site that makes it relevant for you, out of all the people on Lit, to be contacting her.
Fail to do that and you'll most likely join the legions of the embittered whose main occupation - aside from sending spammy messages to disinterested females - is complaining that no one really makes connections on Lit.
RedHairedandFriendly
Too much red on Red?
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
- Posts
- 112,724
For me that wouldn't work. I'd roll my eyes and probably delete the PM. It's very generic, doesn't say anything at all that you bothered to even find something out about me that interested you. You didn't see me on a thread, or read one of my stories, or lie and tell me you read my profile. It's another random PM that isn't tailored to the person you're PMing.
