youngest mother in england

[zipman]

Again with the insults and purposely misrepresenting the other side.

I'm saying that children are coddled to the point of being inept. In the past they were overexploited.

There must be a balance. Work represents responsibility. Children need to be taught how to be responsible and need to be prepared to be adults.

That's why years ago a 14 year old having a baby was nothing because society allowed them to marry and work and support their child.

Children today need to be better educated not about sex but about being more responsible.

Zip, you dissapoint me. For a second I actually thought you were going to seriously contribute to this discussion. Instead you purposely contort the issues.

*shakes head*

Again, for someone so old you have very petty tendencies.

You're the one in favor of young teenagers having babies and you're also the one who is suggesting that the rest of us have "a fragmented view" of things.

You automatically equate a job with financial independence even though no such relationship exists, especially for a teenager. The arrogance of your own remarks is driving my responses.

 

[Shaq]

You're the one in favor of young teenagers having babies and you're also the one who is suggesting that the rest of us have "a fragmented view" of things.

You automatically equate a job with financial independence even though no such relationship exists, especially for a teenager. The arrogance of your own remarks is driving my responses.

I'm driving your responses?

You are only able to generate a statement after one of my utterances.

You flatter me ziplad

I said moderation and balance needs to be achieved. Re-read my post and stop lying.

 

[zipman]

I'm driving your responses?

You are only able to generate a statement after one of my utterances.

You flatter me ziplad

I said moderation and balance needs to be achieved. Re-read my post and stop lying.

LOL, where did I lie about your posts?

You're the one who said young teenage pregnancies don't need to be prevented, which inherently means you don't see a problem with them.

I find that to be a naive and ignorant comment. However, if you want to back it up with financial or psychological analysis of why it is good for preteens to have babies, I'm certainly open to an intelligent argument.

Otherwise you're simply another arrogant person who thinks they know everything while demonstrating the exact opposite.

 

[bptalt]

Blame?


What's blame have to do with it?

These things happen. Parents can't be handcuffed to their children.

I think they could do a better job looking after their 11 year old, but you are basically correct. Like I said more info is needed.

 

[Shaq]

LOL, where did I lie about your posts?

You're the one who said young teenage pregnancies don't need to be prevented, which inherently means you don't see a problem with them.

I find that to be a naive and ignorant comment. However, if you want to back it up with financial or psychological analysis of why it is good for preteens to have babies, I'm certainly open to an intelligent argument.

Otherwise you're simply another arrogant person who thinks they know everything while demonstrating the exact opposite.

My first post does not say they should have babies I wanted Dolf to say why she doesnt' want them to have children.

My suspicions are that even if that 11 year old were married, from from a stable family with financial independence a lot of people still would be against it because "she's just a child!".

What bothers me most is the lack of a realistic response with solutions that fit today's world.

Part of the solution is acceptance though.

I was talking to someone over the phone a minute ago and others have mentioned it in the thread.

11 happens.

Parents should prepare their children better so they understand why 11 is too young.

That's where responsibility, whether it is through jobs or what, is important.

Any kid who had to fend for themselves and understands how difficult it is to take care of themselves is less likely to have kids.

That's what I meant by not coddling them. Make them live off their allowance for a week.

They won't have kids til they are 30.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Of course, the death rate during childbearing was quite a bit higher back then, too.

Life expectancy for a woman in 1800 was about 46.

My son is 11. I still don't let him cross a busy street by himself...

 

[veryblueeyes]

Comparing the young teens from the early 1700's and 1800's to nowadays is a wee bit silly.

The young teens from the early 1700's and 1800's had far more life experience and maturity compared to the teens in the 20 th century.

Life was really tough in the early 1700's and 1800's.

Most of this generation are lucky if their parents have taught them to use the toaster let alone discussed the birds and bees.


12 is way too young to have a child.

I have a 12 year old.


I was 14 the first time. Thankfully I didn't get pregnant.


Children having babies is beyond scary. I've seen 19 year old teenagers who can't handle being a Mum and abandon their babes. It is beyond sad.

Oops, I was not meaning maturity level, but the fact that it is capable, by the physical body. Sorry, I was up too early and was on first cup of coffee and had not cleared my head yet.

I agree with you 100%

 

[veryblueeyes]

Of course, the death rate during childbearing was quite a bit higher back then, too.

Very true, but that has more to do with medical advancement. Not the age of the person.

 

[Beco]

link

i'm just stunned!
she was having sex at eleven years old, had a baby at twelve.

who is to blame?
more importantly, what can society do to prevent things like this from happening?

friggen Brits.....

 

[Gord]

of course its too fucking young - but its not the norm - the reason that its big news here is because it is so rare

I dont think you will ever stop extremes at the edges in anything - human nature states that there will always be an exception to the rule

It could be the genes , could be the circumstances , bad parents - we dont realy know - but it happened and sadly it will happen again

In a way I can see where Shaq is coming from - we know that out of 10 000 kids a proportion will experiment with sex at a young age - sometimes we need to have a more realistic way of dealing with youngsters who are ahead of their years rather than say dont do it

even kids who have the best up bringing can rebel -

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

while an 11 yo having sex is tragic I do have to agree it is the parents fault for not educating and controling their child. and this will also effect the other little girls around her, my daughter at 12 told me she was thinking about having sex so I sat her down and told her of the consicuences(sp) of that course of action but it wasnt until one of her friends got pregnant at 14 and another had a pregnancy scare at 12 that she decided she should wait cause the things I told her were true. if perents were more in touch and open with their kids these things would not happen,and if they did we would know about it they would not hide every thing from us.

 

[Lavared]

A couple of things....

For the record, I started masturbating at five. I remember playing doctor (looking at a boy's penis and letting him look at me) early on in elementary school. Then I went through the semi-asexual stage (still masturbating but no "romantic" interest in boys - yuck!) that most kids go through until they're 11 or 12. I had my first period at twelve and around that time started to see boys as something more than another kid to play kickball with.

While physically capable of bearing a child (though with probable physical damage for myself and the baby) I was emotionally nowhere near ready for parenthood. Hell, I was barely ready in my thirties when I finally got around to having some!

Girls are starting to menstruate at much earlier ages than they used to. The average at one time was 12-15 to start having periods. Now it's 9-12. Many blame this on chemicals in our food: steroids fed to cows etc. Whatever the cause, girls are becoming physically able to parent at an earlier age.

Mentally though - uh uh. The steroids aren't doing anything to mature their brains and because we live longer, more complex lives, we don't give them the kind of responsibility that their great-great-grandparents had in their youth.

This was my long-winded way of saying that twelve year olds aren't emotionally ready for sexual intercourse and certainly not parenthood. The vast majority of them are still thinking excitedly about kissing, not stripping down and exchanging bodily fluids.

As far as an adult desiring sex with a twelve year old goes, they don't call them jailbait for no reason. Around these parts shot-gun-blast-bait might be a more accurate term and thankfully so.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

A thought provoking thread. I'm just going to jot down some of my thoughts as they occur to me, a stream of consciousness.....

A 12 year old girl in England having a baby. That does seem young. I lost my virginity when I was in 8th grade and the girl was in 7th grade, which means she was 12 or 13. She was from a pretty wealthy family and was smart too, her father was a professor at Mass Inst. of Tech (MIT). So I guess it's not some sort of strange abomination...It sounds like this is not an isolated occurance anyway.

I'm glad that my 7th grade gf didn't have a baby, it would have been very difficult to raise that child, but I guess we would have survived. Thinking back, I probably wouldn't have minded getting married to her either, would have calmed my teenage years down quite a bit and probably have given me more focus too (to have to think about preparing myself to take care of the family rather than being concerned with what time happy hour started).

Is it "evil" that a 12 year old had sex? Probably not, unless she was raped, but that doesn't sound like the case. It seems that many people have sexual urges at that age, so I guess where there's smoke, there's often fire. It's better if young kids don't have babies because the babies young parents aren't ready to take care of them properly so I guess it's logical for society to frown on this sort of thing.

In the past, as people mentioned, girls were married off early in many societies, in fact, I think young girls are still married off young in some parts of the world today. I think I recently read that this practice is not unusual in parts of India, China and Africa. Part of the "convention" of young girls getting married young is that they're not supposed to have sex until they start menstrating.

I don't think they "grew up younger" in the last centuries. TV, Internet and other mass media give our kids a lot of exposure to the world that other generations didn't get. Maybe if someone were the a child living in Toulouse Lautrec's world, they grew up early, but not some farm girl in Kansas in 1845, though there are certainly less prevalent taboos against the practice now than there were then.

What does all this mean? I guess it means what Shaq says....sex happens, though it's in the interest of our society to discourage it even while marketers recognize the appeal of it and try to use that natural impulse to reach out to people.

So, what do we do about it? I guess we continue to try to talk common sense to kids in the hope that it will partially cool the fires of young lust.

 

[MissVictoria]

I do not feel that 12 year old girls should be having babies, but if they are old enough to go seeking sex themselves, I don't think we should label the act a sex crime.

 

[MechaBlade]

I agree with Shaq on a lot of things here... obviously, 11 year olds are often physically capable of handling pregnancy, but

Who says they need to be prevented?

They do need to be prevented. Preteens do not possess the maturity, and usually financial means and other stuff to raise a child in our current society. If this was a 3rd world country, it wouldn't matter. In this society, having a baby that young will close many doors, and also negatively impact the infant.