"You will sleep with him, my submissive"

[Tigersman]

Very good story of BDSM

If you want to read a very good story of BDSM read Pauline Reage's 'Story Of O.' there is a video version which is really good.

 

[robertreams]

How can you be submissive if you won't do as you are told?

 

[PervOtaku]

On some forum recently (this one? I don't exactly recall) someone linked to this article discussing the difference between a sub and a slave. (Although when I googled 'difference submissive slave' to find it again, there appear to be several similar pages.)

The upshot is a sub can call the safe word at any time and the scene stops, but the dom/sub relationship continues. If a slave refuses an order, it's essentially ending the entire relationship. A sub has that option and a slave does not.

The best thing to remember is that a lot of BDSM fiction goes places that most real BDSM relationships don't. Probably in a similar way to how women who like rape stories and rape roleplay wouldn't want to be genuinely raped. It makes for a more exciting story if the Dom pushes the sub/slave into things most subs wouldn't really do, yet the sub in the story obeys, either reluctantly or eagerly. The aforementioned distinction between subs and slaves barely applies, because of course what fun is a story where a sub uses the safe word?

Oh, I'm sure there are some stories out there with a proper and realistic depiction of BDSM, but no doubt they are the exception that proves the rule.

 

[MeekMe]

This is still being discussed, and now it's in the BDSM Talk section?

If you want to read a very good story of BDSM read Pauline Reage's 'Story Of O.' there is a video version which is really good.

I thought O was a fucking idiot.

How can you be submissive if you won't do as you are told?

Submissives typically "do as they're told." Many of us look for compatible partners. For me that's being with someone that won't share me. For others they may negotiate that that's ok for them. I do what I'm told within the parameters of my agreed upon relationship. We're also still human beings so at any time we can opt out. If someone said in the beginning, "sharing is a hard limit," and the PYL brought it up later because it never occurred to them that they might actually like it, they can have a conversation and discuss new terms.

There is a difference between the labels, but those are also debatable as everyone has personal meanings as well. A slave in one relationship is not the same in another.

 

[Netzach]

Sharing someone with that hot guy she kind of has a thing for but is reluctant to actually initiate a fuck with is swinging. BDSM is a trendier tag than swinging, so throw a paddle in there or just have her bite her lip a lot.

Sharing someone with that less hot guy she doesn't know from Adam is Domination. Expect shit ratings except from more pervy people.

What most people want to read and will review favorably is the first.

If the dynamics of being forced to service someone you don't want to are more interesting to you than gender, "forced" bi as a genre among men is explosive. It pretty much has overtaken FemDom as a genre.

 

[LadyVer]

FWIW, I was thinking this thread was in Story Feedback. I'll confess to not knowing much about BDSM.

 

[midwestyankee]

FWIW, I was thinking this thread was in Story Feedback. I'll confess to not knowing much about BDSM.

That's my take as well, given the personalities who had weighed in early on. My guess is a mod with a light trigger finger moved it.

 

[gorgeous_grl]

I am a sub to my long time husband and Dom. We are very secure in our marriage and our D/s relationship. We've fantasized about bringing another man into the bedroom, but it remains just that, a fantasy. In application I think it would be hard to execute. It would be hard to find someone we're both comfortable with, it would be hard to outline the limits between the three of us. And honestly it would be hard for me to relax and enjoy a strange person in our session. And I think it would be hard for both of us to come back from if we were able to pull all that off. I'd rather use toys to simulate DP and keep myself emotionally intact. If it was a Master/slave relationship things would be different, but ours is not.

 

[MeekMe]

FWIW, I was thinking this thread was in Story Feedback. I'll confess to not knowing much about BDSM.

It was in Story Ideas. I was curious because I thought the thread title was funny. I just imagine a booming god voice saying something like that. I also imagine the person listening is crazy and it's only in their head.

 

[midwestyankee]

It was in Story Ideas. I was curious because I thought the thread title was funny. I just imagine a booming god voice saying something like that. I also imagine the person listening is crazy and it's only in their head.

I can do the booming god voice thing if anyone is interested. Just saying.

 

[MeekMe]

I can do the booming god voice thing if anyone is interested. Just saying.

There is a voice thread in the cafe.

 

[LadyVer]

That's my take as well, given the personalities who had weighed in early on. My guess is a mod with a light trigger finger moved it.

It's strange how some categories are anathema to those whose category preferences aren't exactly June and Ward Cleaver. When I mentioned I had edited a Mind Control series to a few writers who write femdom, groups, etc, they were horrified.

It was in Story Ideas. I was curious because I thought the thread title was funny. I just imagine a booming god voice saying something like that. I also imagine the person listening is crazy and it's only in their head.

The thread title was interesting.

 

[kalligeneia]

If that was required, that would be the end of the relationship for me. For me, personally, that is a hard limit and I will not negotiate it. I'm submissive to one person and only that person and I will not be "shared." Just my thoughts on the matter.

This. Thankfully, I am comforted in the fact that my Maître is as exclusively monogamous as I am, so the matter would never be discussed.

 

[BalletBound]

Never find a real man to make me

I have had dreams of being share... dominated... humiliated and what a woman tastes like..

Really would find either one or more people interested in taking my body while it's at its prime.

 

[kalligeneia]

Refusing to obey an order does not end a BDSM relationship make. Whoever and wherever that assumption came from is painful. Certainly a slave has every right to walk away from a Dominant if they feel that they are being continually pressured to do something that they don't like - the joys of the fact that it is not actual slavery and that there is this element of choice - but generally this doesn't happen as in any sensible D/S-orientated relationship, such boundaries are discussed before anything uncomfortable is brought up.

There is also a big difference in the Dominant requesting that of a slave and then dropping the matter if they are too uncomfortable, and continually pressuring them. Outside of a D/S relationship that would be intolerable. For example, me and my Master/boyfriend already established in the first few days of our relationship that both of us are exclusively monogamous and do not like the idea of playing with others, and are not massive fans of getting involved in the local BDSM community. So that was cleared up very early on, which is how it ideally should be done just like would be discussed in a relationship with no D/S qualities at all.

Yes, a Dominant can push the limits of their submissive/slave. But there is still always that traffic-light system; yes, maybe but I am uncomfortable and no. And the no should always be respected, otherwise the Dominant isn't really worthy of being called that. A Dominant respects the limits of those that they own, and either works with them to find new limits or won't go near the matter again. That's how it works outside of books.

 

[Eldan01]

What you're describing is called pimping (and it's the same basic dynamic whether money is exchanged or not). RL conensual subs are horrified by it because RL D/s relationships are not about pimping, they're about romantic roleplaying. Pimping is about a much baser form of predatory exploitation of fear, insecurity and Daddy/daughter psychology (as another poster said, infantilization*) in order to get a woman to cross boundaries they would or could not otherwise cross. It's essentially a variant of male dominance fantasy centred around manipulation / deception / intimidation, or IOW a variant of noncon fantasy, and the aspect of your readership that's into it is probably zeroing in on that.

It's not uncommon to find noncon fantasy overlapping with BDSM fantasy, of course. This very trope occurs in The Story of O, a classic of BDSM lit. But you should only employ it if you're not concerned about the RL niceties of your fiction's connection with actual BDSM practice.

(* And I mean, the language really isn't coincidental. A pimp is always "daddy" or some variant thereof because that's specifically the psychological role he's assuming / usurping. The hooker is usually a "bitch" because bestializing and devaluing her is a way of withholding fatherly approval, which has to be operative 90% of the time to make the predatory relationship work. The rare moments in which she's called "baby" or "baby girl" are all the more precious to her as a result, and part of the manipulation.)

This is perfect, you are so correct on this. Thank you for sharing!! I've been in this situation and a little light bulb has gone off in my head.

 

[BalletBound]

I could be your inspiration I am sure.

I have been reading your work all day and am so wet!!

I love how hard and classy your work is. LOVE College Roomate

I would love to be forced to submit to sharing exibitionism rape and of course being used and abused by my Master!

 

[FurryFury]

I love the fantasy. In reality, it would have to be a very strong relationship with someone I truly trusted to work.

 

[BalletBound]

I am. I am looking for someone that uses and abuses me. But is still able to treat me to all the finer things in life I was brought up with.

Your every desire in a baby girl just for you... pretty dresses just too short, nipples that hide through another but not completely, thigh highs that only you had no panties on the match, a little role play while pigtails still look believable...

I was brought up with ballet horse backing riding and trips to some very interesting places. I did well in school excelled and would rewarded with amazing concerts ballets musicals.

A little princess who becomes a cock craving Lolita in bed....

I need you!! your cock! your mind and control..

 

[midwestyankee]

I am. I am looking for someone that uses and abuses me. But is still able to treat me to all the finer things in life I was brought up with.

Your every desire in a baby girl just for you... pretty dresses just too short, nipples that hide through another but not completely, thigh highs that only you had no panties on the match, a little role play while pigtails still look believable...

I was brought up with ballet horse backing riding and trips to some very interesting places. I did well in school excelled and would rewarded with amazing concerts ballets musicals.

A little princess who becomes a cock craving Lolita in bed....

I need you!! your cock! your mind and control..

More and more, I think you are a post-bot and not a human at all. Surely by now a human would have learned the lessons being offered by those who pointed out several times that copy-and-paste posting is considered rude behavior in these parts.

And if there's anything that's valuable to a dominant partner, it's the capacity of his submissive partner to learn.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[midwestyankee]

I just took a lot longer to say pretty much the same thing in another thread..

I'm very stingy with my words. You paint enticing pictures with yours.

 

[Netzach]

Refusing to obey an order does not end a BDSM relationship make. Whoever and wherever that assumption came from is painful. Certainly a slave has every right to walk away from a Dominant if they feel that they are being continually pressured to do something that they don't like - the joys of the fact that it is not actual slavery and that there is this element of choice - but generally this doesn't happen as in any sensible D/S-orientated relationship, such boundaries are discussed before anything uncomfortable is brought up.

There is also a big difference in the Dominant requesting that of a slave and then dropping the matter if they are too uncomfortable, and continually pressuring them. Outside of a D/S relationship that would be intolerable. For example, me and my Master/boyfriend already established in the first few days of our relationship that both of us are exclusively monogamous and do not like the idea of playing with others, and are not massive fans of getting involved in the local BDSM community. So that was cleared up very early on, which is how it ideally should be done just like would be discussed in a relationship with no D/S qualities at all.

Yes, a Dominant can push the limits of their submissive/slave. But there is still always that traffic-light system; yes, maybe but I am uncomfortable and no. And the no should always be respected, otherwise the Dominant isn't really worthy of being called that. A Dominant respects the limits of those that they own, and either works with them to find new limits or won't go near the matter again. That's how it works outside of books.

I would feel very unempowered to be in a relationship where any change in my desires was pretty much given a "No. Furthermore, STFU." It's one thing to point out that pressure and emotional blackmail are not consensual behavior, but it's another to pretend that if a Dominant's desires change or assert themselves in ways the submissive can't get into they need to fuck off or they're a horrible monster with no right to be at a valid impasse.

I guess I've made it fairly clear that this IS on the table as far as me sharing anyone I'm going to be thought of as the boss of. I can't imagine feeling as though I were actually in charge if this was not an option for me to do what I felt prudent or entertaining with.

 

[blackhearted67]

I'm late in the conversation, but I just want to address the question that started the thread - I am currently in a D/s relationship with my boyfriend. I am the submissive. Honestly, being shared by two men sounds hot, and it gets me excited - I'd love to be touched and pleasured by another man while my Dominant was there to care for me and protect me - But only in theory. I think that in reality, well, to begin with, when would the opportunity ever come up? I wouldn't want to just suck any guys dick and I don't trust strangers. Maybe if I had two ex boyfriends or something - two men whom I trusted and who I know would never hurt me. Otherwise, not gonna happen.

I think maybe that's why you received high ratings. The idea of it is hot. I love watching porn where the girl gets handled by lots of guys. In theory, hot. Would I ever actually do it, nope.

 

[kalligeneia]

I would feel very unempowered to be in a relationship where any change in my desires was pretty much given a "No. Furthermore, STFU." It's one thing to point out that pressure and emotional blackmail are not consensual behavior, but it's another to pretend that if a Dominant's desires change or assert themselves in ways the submissive can't get into they need to fuck off or they're a horrible monster with no right to be at a valid impasse.

I guess I've made it fairly clear that this IS on the table as far as me sharing anyone I'm going to be thought of as the boss of. I can't imagine feeling as though I were actually in charge if this was not an option for me to do what I felt prudent or entertaining with.

Thing is, the whole against mutually sharing thing is something that we've agreed from right from the off, and is how we have both always been since long before meeting one another. So we aren't forbidding one another from anything. He is as aware that I would walk away if he cheated on me or 'played' with someone else as I am aware that he would walk away if I did the same. What is the norm' and acceptable for your D/S relationship, is different to ours. We are closed/exclusively monogamous and are -perfectly- happy that way.

NMK, yes?