You Know You're Too Obsessed With Your Sexual Aids When:

[HBergeron]

You cry at the sight of a cucumber cut up in a salad.

 

[hotwords229_A]

The sight of a woman using hand lotion becomes hypnotic.

 

[Phosphene]

All of your batteries are rechargeable

 

[HBergeron]

All the pipes under your sinks are rusty, but your handcuffs can blind you when the light hits them just right.

 

[Sexybritches69]

You have a special rack in your dishwasher that’s “toy shaped”.

 

[Apisto42]

You buy a generator just in case the power goes out.

 

[beachbaby179]

You sort them by color in their velvet lined drawer.

 

[Sexybritches69]

You sort them by color in their velvet lined drawer.

Haha yes!

Then you match them with your outfit

 

[Jada59]

You feel yourself getting wet when you see anything remotely phallic shaped.

 

[Jada59]

When you accidentally flushed your weighted kegel eggs down the toilet and consider using a couple of lemons instead.

 

[Apisto42]

When you decide to purchase the large pack of batteries instead of lunch.

 

[Jada59]

When you start grabbing random items from around the room, sitting on them and rocking back and forth to see if they do anything for you.

 

[HBergeron]

When you send long stemmed red roses to your own house addressed to Gina, your sex doll, on the anniversary of the day she arrived in the mail.

 

[HBergeron]

When you cram so many vibrating eggs up in there that you end up making an omelet when you sit down.

 

[Lia Monde]

You're late for the party you've been looking forward to because you just HAD to have a quick encounter.

 

[VoraciousValue]

When you're pissed off that the Bluetooth connection quit working with your new toy and you complain about it the next time you go to the porno shop.

When you send long stemmed red roses to your own house addressed to Gina, your sex doll, on the anniversary of the day she arrived in the mail.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aV8L9kX4xg

 

[HBergeron]

When you need a special ring for the keys to all your collars, cuffs, arm & leg spreaders, stocks, crosses, manacles, suspended chains, cages and... well really, the fact that you have all that stuff in the first place.

When you're pissed off that the Bluetooth connection quit working with your new toy and you complain about it the next time you go to the porno shop.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aV8L9kX4xg

Ah, reminds me of 'Juanita, my sweet taquita'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAOCw72yzII

 

[mnbreastluver]

You dedicate one room to house it all.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

You have specific cock rings for blowjobs, intercourse, masturbation and edging.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You have specific cock rings for blowjobs, intercourse, masturbation and edging.

You have to get a buddy from the UK to ship you one because you can’t get it in the US.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

You take off work, blow off church and limit your outside time to devote to your....proclivities....

 

[mnbreastluver]

Every employee in the adult store knows you.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

You take off work, blow off church and limit your outside time to devote to your....proclivities....

You find "proclivities" to be such an arousing word that you consider it to be a sexual aid

 

[LanguageOfLove]

Your toy bag just won't do it anymore, and you realize you need a chest....speaking from experience here...lol

 

[ElliesExplorations]

Being this is my first post or maybe second. I do have a fetish for toys. I think that when its time to order a new one, you realize that you have just about everything there is! There's nothing left to order, except to go bigger.