You can now call me the bionic single Dom
- Thread starter Richard49
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lady-kat
Literotica Guru
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red jello and bananas??? i live in wrong part of country apparently.... we get mac and cheese and pot luck.....spott said:Then you need new friends
You might be surprised how many people show up at funerals, if for no other reason than the red jello with bananas afterwards.
People need funerals, or a memorial service, to celebrate a life that has been lived. It puts closure. It allows people to remember and reconnect. Memorial services can be kind of kewl...
-spott
u are right tho, i think, about people needing memorial service or funural for closure. the last one i "hosted" was for my mom... i made her funeral private. just for me & her. (and with only so and myself in attendence) for closure and to say goodbye. it helped a bit.... wake was for her friends.....
i told so to bury me in my back yard. with my cats......tho thinking now it probably is in violation of some friggin' rule....
Good morning, Richard. (Yes, it is still morning here!) I've got my cup of coffee and am taking a bit of a break right now, and thought I'd share it here with you and Spott.
Oh, and Spott? I LOVE the red hair! And somehow you look just as I imagined. Yes, that's a good thing!
You know, Richard, when my father was dying he decided to plan out his memorial service. He didn't want a funeral, he opted for cremation with a memorial. It was a very strange and disturbing thing to discuss the deatils with him, and he always wanted to go over them with me each week when I visited. He didn't feel my mother would get things right.
Anyway, his statement was that he was only doing a memorial service for me and my mom (I'm an only child), because no one else would come. After he died and we had the memorial service, the church was almost packed. There were people who came down from Northern California and up from San Diego (we live just south of LA) to attend. Plus, we had a duplicate service back east, in Wisconsin where most of my parent's family and childhood friends live. From what I understand, there was a big turnout there, as well. My mom and I even received cards and letters from people who had grown up with my dad or who had served in the military with him.
Point is, never say that no one will be there. The unfortunate thing is when people show up for a funeral and never made any effort to be in touch with the person while they were alive. But I do know this: I have a cousin that lives not far from us. He's actually the relative that lives closest to me. When he and his wife first moved here, my dad went out of his way to make them feel at home and comfortable and to make certain if they needed anything they could call him. When I was calling relatives and friends to let them know about the memorial service, I contacted this cousin. All he said was that he was aware of the service. That's it. He never showed up. He never sent a card or any acknowledgement. In fact, he and his wife bought their home right around the same time, and for Christmas that year, they sent us a card exclaiming their joy. Granted, that was nice for them and I was happy, but they were invalidating my mourning. To this day (11 years later), I have no desire for contact with him. My mother has disowned him.
My father explained it to me this way when he was planning his memorial service and I asked him why have one at all: funerals and memorial services are for the living. It doesn't do anything for the dead. They are in a better place. But such funny little rituals like funerals help family and friends give closure to the person's life. I learned this to be true, in a weird way.
And yes, I too am fearful of dying alone. I don't know of a single person who isn't. I have no spouse. I have no children. I'm not very close to any relative. My father taught me how to die with dignity, and for that I'm thankful and less fearful of death in general. But his wish was to die at home, and he did, with both my mother and me with him. I am very afraid I will never have what I was able to give my father. I don't know how to resolve that fear, as I don't know how long I will live. Heck, there are people who live to be over 100 and all of their friends and closer relatives have passed on, so it's not even safe to think that if I get more friends or a husband shortly that they will be around in another 40 or 50 years.
All I can contribute to the idea of dying alone is that I share that fear and can really relate to that.
Okay, my coffee is finished, and I need to return to work. Sorry about the "book", but hopefully I can stop by later or tomorrow.
Take as good a care of yourself as you can, Richard!
Oh, and Spott? I LOVE the red hair! And somehow you look just as I imagined. Yes, that's a good thing!
You know, Richard, when my father was dying he decided to plan out his memorial service. He didn't want a funeral, he opted for cremation with a memorial. It was a very strange and disturbing thing to discuss the deatils with him, and he always wanted to go over them with me each week when I visited. He didn't feel my mother would get things right.
Anyway, his statement was that he was only doing a memorial service for me and my mom (I'm an only child), because no one else would come. After he died and we had the memorial service, the church was almost packed. There were people who came down from Northern California and up from San Diego (we live just south of LA) to attend. Plus, we had a duplicate service back east, in Wisconsin where most of my parent's family and childhood friends live. From what I understand, there was a big turnout there, as well. My mom and I even received cards and letters from people who had grown up with my dad or who had served in the military with him.
Point is, never say that no one will be there. The unfortunate thing is when people show up for a funeral and never made any effort to be in touch with the person while they were alive. But I do know this: I have a cousin that lives not far from us. He's actually the relative that lives closest to me. When he and his wife first moved here, my dad went out of his way to make them feel at home and comfortable and to make certain if they needed anything they could call him. When I was calling relatives and friends to let them know about the memorial service, I contacted this cousin. All he said was that he was aware of the service. That's it. He never showed up. He never sent a card or any acknowledgement. In fact, he and his wife bought their home right around the same time, and for Christmas that year, they sent us a card exclaiming their joy. Granted, that was nice for them and I was happy, but they were invalidating my mourning. To this day (11 years later), I have no desire for contact with him. My mother has disowned him.
My father explained it to me this way when he was planning his memorial service and I asked him why have one at all: funerals and memorial services are for the living. It doesn't do anything for the dead. They are in a better place. But such funny little rituals like funerals help family and friends give closure to the person's life. I learned this to be true, in a weird way.
And yes, I too am fearful of dying alone. I don't know of a single person who isn't. I have no spouse. I have no children. I'm not very close to any relative. My father taught me how to die with dignity, and for that I'm thankful and less fearful of death in general. But his wish was to die at home, and he did, with both my mother and me with him. I am very afraid I will never have what I was able to give my father. I don't know how to resolve that fear, as I don't know how long I will live. Heck, there are people who live to be over 100 and all of their friends and closer relatives have passed on, so it's not even safe to think that if I get more friends or a husband shortly that they will be around in another 40 or 50 years.
All I can contribute to the idea of dying alone is that I share that fear and can really relate to that.
Okay, my coffee is finished, and I need to return to work. Sorry about the "book", but hopefully I can stop by later or tomorrow.
Take as good a care of yourself as you can, Richard!
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
SexyChele
The more I hear about your dad the more I like him.
Sounds like the kind of men I grew up around
Unfotunatly culture has changed and few like him around
I did not say no one would come.
Hell I imgine half the town would show up
What I said was I could not think of anyone
I would want there
What you and your mom gave your dad is wonderful !!!!!
It is what I had always hoped for
I can not even think of someone I can depend on
to be my patent rep not alone that they would hold my hand when I died
As part of dying can be hospital stays etc.
You/me everyone needs to have someone you can trust
to understand your health history and wishes
to be your patent representive
The more I hear about your dad the more I like him.
Sounds like the kind of men I grew up around
Unfotunatly culture has changed and few like him around
I did not say no one would come.
Hell I imgine half the town would show up
What I said was I could not think of anyone
I would want there
What you and your mom gave your dad is wonderful !!!!!
It is what I had always hoped for
I can not even think of someone I can depend on
to be my patent rep not alone that they would hold my hand when I died
As part of dying can be hospital stays etc.
You/me everyone needs to have someone you can trust
to understand your health history and wishes
to be your patent representive
violent intimacy
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2003
- Posts
- 52
Hi Richard...
*waves and smiles*
Thanks for inviting me over to read about you -
just wanted you to know that I got here ok =)
*waves and smiles*
Thanks for inviting me over to read about you -
just wanted you to know that I got here ok =)
lady-kat said:
Yer right, there's friggin' rules for everything.... that's why I want cremation...rapid vs slow oxidation...I would like to be
cast to the wind as ashes, or maybe a Tibetan Sky Burial...the corpse is smoked over aromatic woods, the flesh is stripped from the bones like beef jerky and the bones ground to powder...the rendered off fat is mixed with the pulverized flesh and bone with millet. The mixture is then formed into balls and fed to the vultures. The balls are thrown off a cliff and the vultures snatch them in mid-air...thus the "sky burial" aspect. I think this is is kind of kewl, especially if I can be poop on some yuppie's BMW
I've almost died a couple of times, so none of this scares me anymore...let's see...auto accidents (many), almost bled to death, gun in my face twice, plane crash...see, being dead doesn't bother me, no, not one bit...getting dead is what twists my melons...
-spott
SexyChele said:
I won't miss my ex's funeral...nosirree...first of all, as part of the divorce, the court made him buy and maintain a 50K insurance policy with me as beneficiary, so it looks like I will be able to take that Hawaiian cruise some day... and I do have half his pension due me for the balance of my life...Bingo $$!
My sister was widowed at a very young age, and one day we were discussing whether it was better to be a widow or a divorcee...we decided widowhood was preferred because you got to keep it all and you always know where the sommabeach is...
-spott
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
spott said:Well, Dude, for someone who doesn't have any friends, you sure know a lot of ladies...
-spott
Just know ladies from this board
few live in Michigan
no where near me
a few live in Wisconson
and many I have no idea where they live
we just relate here
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Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
spott said:
I can relate
I have kissed deaths cold lips so many times
Feb 1992 I was dead
they hit me with defib paddles the last time they were going to try
gave me no chance of making next 24 hours
I'm still here
I do not fear death
kinds of want it
just do not want to dy alone
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
Interesting morning
Got a hair cutt
first in months
Bill who cuts it is in recovery also
and is also a Libertarian
He and his also knew my ex
Then went to VA psychologist appoinment
Shared with him about how I use to say
"when I dy no one should feel sorry for me cause I lived a hell of a life..full and rich" and to realize that at 53 I have no one...
realtive or friend close enough to trust
He is younger then me and sudeenly realized that if his father was not alive he would have no one
We also discussed how many have lost the "ability" to be honorable in realtionships or any of there promises
Then recovery meeting. Saw a couple of people I have not seen in a while....
Then coffee with another old fart like me where we discussed my challenge in finding a patent rep
oh well
and day not over ....
Got a hair cutt
first in months
Bill who cuts it is in recovery also
and is also a Libertarian
He and his also knew my ex
Then went to VA psychologist appoinment
Shared with him about how I use to say
"when I dy no one should feel sorry for me cause I lived a hell of a life..full and rich" and to realize that at 53 I have no one...
realtive or friend close enough to trust
He is younger then me and sudeenly realized that if his father was not alive he would have no one
We also discussed how many have lost the "ability" to be honorable in realtionships or any of there promises
Then recovery meeting. Saw a couple of people I have not seen in a while....
Then coffee with another old fart like me where we discussed my challenge in finding a patent rep
oh well
and day not over ....
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Just stopping by to say "hello"! Richard, I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Those can be very trying to get through. And thank you for your words about my dad. He was a hell of a man, and I still miss him very much.
And you know, though I live in California, I do get back to Wisconsin now and again. Small town of Manitowoc, and they have a car ferry that goes over to Michigan. <wink, wink>
You know, as I was reading back over this thread, I find you to be a very interesting person. I really have to thank you for sharing so much about you to all of us. I mean, you served in Vietnam, you are an activist, involved in politics, a chaplain. Any other little tidbits that might be unexpected, but pleasant to know?
I have to run, but I do hope you have a better day today than yesterday. I'll wear an extra smile today, just for you, how's that?
And you know, though I live in California, I do get back to Wisconsin now and again. Small town of Manitowoc, and they have a car ferry that goes over to Michigan. <wink, wink>
You know, as I was reading back over this thread, I find you to be a very interesting person. I really have to thank you for sharing so much about you to all of us. I mean, you served in Vietnam, you are an activist, involved in politics, a chaplain. Any other little tidbits that might be unexpected, but pleasant to know?
I have to run, but I do hope you have a better day today than yesterday. I'll wear an extra smile today, just for you, how's that?
spott said:Well, Dude, for someone who doesn't have any friends, you sure know a lot of ladies...
-spott
Yup, he's one of the few men on this board that the ladies love. And it is a shame that he lives in the mid-west, and doesn't travel!
Oh, and I love your views on widowhood vs being divorced. I'll have to tell my mom that one!
Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
SexyChele said:Just stopping by to say "hello"! Richard, I'm sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Those can be very trying to get through. And thank you for your words about my dad. He was a hell of a man, and I still miss him very much.
And you know, though I live in California, I do get back to Wisconsin now and again. Small town of Manitowoc, and they have a car ferry that goes over to Michigan. <wink, wink>
You know, as I was reading back over this thread, I find you to be a very interesting person. I really have to thank you for sharing so much about you to all of us. I mean, you served in Vietnam, you are an activist, involved in politics, a chaplain. Any other little tidbits that might be unexpected, but pleasant to know?
I have to run, but I do hope you have a better day today than yesterday. I'll wear an extra smile today, just for you, how's that?
yup the fairy hits on this side about an hour and half south of me
As i posted here today
I use to say I had lived a full life
I have been DJ, radio talk show host .... minister... social worker.. therpist and lots more .... ran away and traveled with carnaval when I was 16 .....
but
to be my age and have no one ...
well .......
lady-kat
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2002
- Posts
- 620
quote:
_________________________________________
Originally posted by Richard49
Maybe I should find a voluntar and test the bionics
by the number of times I swing a flogger per minute
_____________________________________________
ah Richard.....judging by the amount of voluteers U are receving, best be giving "bionics" a test drive....
U wouldn't dissapoint so many eager voluteers? U are too much a gentleman to do that....
<WEG>
_________________________________________
Originally posted by Richard49
Maybe I should find a voluntar and test the bionics
by the number of times I swing a flogger per minute
_____________________________________________
ah Richard.....judging by the amount of voluteers U are receving, best be giving "bionics" a test drive....
U wouldn't dissapoint so many eager voluteers? U are too much a gentleman to do that....
<WEG>
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Richard49
The Gentleman Dom
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2002
- Posts
- 14,176
Re: Re: Re: Re: Testing the bionics
Do I smell a little false advertising/voluntaring?
and no lady-kat
no false advertising on my part
I deleiver what I promise
MysteryWhiteGirl said:Hmm... I'll get back to you. Have to calculate time/mileage from Mississippi.
Do I smell a little false advertising/voluntaring?
and no lady-kat
no false advertising on my part
I deleiver what I promise
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