You absolute...

[asxymann68]

You absolute dingbatt.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You absolute missing tool

 

[dommastermark]

You absolute womble weaver

 

[pinkparkhorse]

You absolutely lawn chair that tipped over.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

You absolute error log

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You absolute glitched error code

 

[pinkparkhorse]

You absolute computer I threw out the window

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute printer

 

[pinkparkhorse]

You absolute jammed stapler

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute unicycle.

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute plonker

 

[NudieUser]

You absolute pirate

 

[Taegul]

You absolute Florida Man.

 

[Apisto42]

You absolute shape shifting gingerbread man erotica.

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute pimple

 

[Wandering_Sen]

You absolute pimped out ride.

 

[Chatgetsme]

You absolute used condom

 

[Nightbird]

You absolute Bitch

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You absolute dildo-seated moped

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute tiny dancer.

 

[ScarletDaisy]

You absolute sleepless night

 

[Nightbird]

You Absolute Cum Dumpster

 

[UsuallyPresent]

You absolute waste of heat

 

[Fivemagicbeans]

You absolute soggy biscuit

 

[Meekly_Anna]

You absolute soggy biscuit

That's a no-see-biscuit I guess.