You absolute...

[NudieUser]

You absolute shite

 

[TomTeacher19]

You absolute candy cane

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute jingle bell.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

You absolute leftover turkey.

 

[CuriousRick]

You absolute elbow

 

[Kat90xx]

You absolute Freddo

 

[CuriousRick]

You absolute bunion

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute tool

 

[Xerxes82]

You absolute dryer sheet

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute nut butter

 

[kreemi_pi]

You absolute ball sack

 

[kreemi_pi]

You absolute ball sack

Alt: You absolute scrotum

 

[kreemi_pi]

You absolute ball sack

Female equivalent: You absolute mudflap

 

[kreemi_pi]

Anyone do "You absolute tampon" yet?

 

[CuriousRick]

You absolute perineum

 

[barefootgirl69]

Anyone do "You absolute tampon" yet?

No, because they're supposed to be light-hearted and fun, not mean or insulting.

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute sweaty sandal!

 

[Stephie02]

You Absolute capybara

Ok, this feels more like a cute thing for your SO, somebody try it out and get back to me before I try it on my gf

 

[TheYoungGentleman]

You absolute bean pole.

 

[Xerxes82]

You absolute toaster strudel

 

[fsa52]

You absolute bait bucket!

 

[barefootgirl69]

You absolute traffic circle

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute banana peel.

 

[lily_wall_]

Hold on hold on... So the guy who said I'm absolute beauty wasn't flirting?

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute bobble head!