You absolute...

[Cwtchseeker]

You absolute wet towel

 

[angelofthenorth]

you absolute fruit and nut case

 

[A_Little_Bite]

You absolute truffle

 

[PotNoodle79]

You absolute pantomime villain

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

No, because they're supposed to be light-hearted and fun, not mean or insulting.

Where was your 'absolute' in that post BFG, you absolute shoe-loser?

 

[cheekygirl75]

Anyone do "You absolute tampon"

Don’t think so, but I did do you absolute period stain

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute soggy noodle!

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

You absolute pie plate

 

[EctoJohn]

You absolute empty glass.

 

[hugh_jarce69]

You absolute Piers

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute comma

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

You absolute microwave bacon cooker

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute statistics report

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

You absolute loofah

 

[snexxer]

You absolute pop tart

 

[angelofthenorth]

you absolute cauliflower

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

You absolute laxative

 

[kieranhalcyon01]

You absolute Hershey's Take 5 bar

 

[cheekygirl75]

You absolute knit sock

 

[Stephie02]

You Absolute excel program

 

[PotNoodle79]

Your absolute fleshlight