Write a line...

[cantdog]

No! I meant spoons, the position!

 

[pop_54]

Baby? Baby, that's the stick stift.

At least it wasn't the handbrake lever.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Baby? Baby, that's the stick stift.

You know what they say, if you can't find it, grind it.

 

[Guest]

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, he yelled, jackhammering his black, veined, throbbing, sweaty 14.647" fire-hose-of-a-cock, wide as a beer can and tipped with an the largest pink mushroom nozzle ever conceived by a human being, into the gape of her petite and tiny, pink—but wanting—asshole.

“OH, OHHHHHHH! I’M CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMING!” she screamed lovingly—loud enough for all the tenants in the building to hear and strong enough to reverberate through the entire underground subway system—as at least a gallon (or two!) of his scalding hot man juice filled her intestinal cavity, only to finally gush and flow from the semen-soaked bed sheets onto the floor where it oozed through the wooden cracks to drip from the ceiling in the apartment below.

 

[LaJovena]

Oo I need a bath

 

[Dar~]

I'm sorry, my enema must not have been completed. I thought it was done.

 

[LaJovena]

Are you in yet?

 

[Liar]

"Hey, let's try something new. Put you cock in my ass and I'll see if I can fart around it."

 

[Liar]

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, he yelled, jackhammering his black, veined, throbbing, sweaty 14.647" fire-hose-of-a-cock, wide as a beer can and tipped with an the largest pink mushroom nozzle ever conceived by a human being, into the gape of her petite and tiny, pink—but wanting—asshole.

“OH, OHHHHHHH! I’M CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMING!” she screamed lovingly—loud enough for all the tenants in the building to hear and strong enough to reverberate through the entire underground subway system—as at least a gallon (or two!) of his scalding hot man juice filled her intestinal cavity, only to finally gush and flow from the semen-soaked bed sheets onto the floor where it oozed through the wooden cracks to drip from the ceiling in the apartment below.

Man, that's pure poetry.

 

[Dar~]

Manx, I was rolling.

yeah, Ron fuck me harder that's it baby fuck me, Oh god MIke I'm . . .oh wait Oh god Ron I'm cumming . . . .

 

[Guest]

Man, that's pure poetry.

Manx, I was rolling.

.
.
.

________

Hmmm . . . maybe my lines could be the sparks for a Humor & Satire or my first Poetry submission!

 

[Guest]

Jeez woman you're big... That was like opening the window and trying to fuck the world.

LMAO!

Damn!

 

[Guest]

"Damn, that's a big pussy! Damn, that's a big pussy!"
"Well, you didn't have to say it twice!"
"I didn't."

 

[pop_54]

"Hell... that ceiling needs re-painting".

 

[Huckleman2000]

We have a winner!

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual." Dan McKay, Fargo, ND

That is this year's winner of the Bad Writing contest held annually by San Jose State University. And a worthy recipient, I must say.

Bulwar-Lytton Fiction Contest

 

[elsol]

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual." Dan McKay, Fargo, ND

That is this year's winner of the Bad Writing contest held annually by San Jose State University. And a worthy recipient, I must say.

Bulwar-Lytton Fiction Contest

I bet this would actually make a good porn story.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[The_Darkness]

Wow. That's some bad goddamn writing. Good, really well written, but awful at the same time. It's like getting a bitter kind of chocolate icing on your birthday cake, only to be told later that it's not really frosting....

 

[Lavared]

Uh oh, my contact lense fell out. Help me find it.

 

[The_Darkness]

Uh oh, my contact lense fell out. Help me find it.

For you, with an AV like that, you need only ask once....

 

[Lavared]

For you, with an AV like that, you need only ask once....

Awww shucks. I'm blushing.

 

[The_Darkness]

Awww shucks. I'm blushing.

Crap. I was shooting for panting....but I'll take blushing since you're new-ish to the boards....

 

[OhMissScarlett]

"Hell... that ceiling needs re-painting".

This made me laugh, because one time I actually was on my hands and knees in bed and I said "There's my ponytail holder behind the headboard!"

It was my favorite one!

 

[Guest]

This made me laugh, because one time I actually was on my hands and knees in bed and I said "There's my ponytail holder behind the headboard!"

It was my favorite one!

Too funny!

So then did they use it to bind your wrists?

 

[The_Darkness]

This made me laugh, because one time I actually was on my hands and knees in bed and I said "There's my ponytail holder behind the headboard!"

It was my favorite one!

Nice. My favorite/least favorite one takes the same position...so to speak. I stayed at my girlfriend's house for the night while I was still in high school, went home and my parents were home and so I talked with them for a while and discovered one very important fact:

The only thing worse than your mother telling you that you have a pubic hair stuck in your teeth is checking and finding out that she's right.

 

[Dar~]

I once asked a friend if he ever licked his girl's pussy (he had been bitching about their sex life) he said no, why do I have hair in my teeth. I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard.

On a funnier note; I found ou tI was pregnant with my daughter two weeks after my husband got deployed to Turkey and hwne he got home he expressed concern about the effect of our sex life on the well bein gof the baby. So I went and bought a book and sat him down the next night saying "Dave, we need to talk about sex with the baby." realizing what I had said, I quickly followed with "Don't have sex with the baby."