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[Guest]

Got any tartar sauce to go with that?

 

[Dar~]

"don't worry, the doctor says it's not contaigous."

 

[Guest]

That was nice, but your mother does it better.

Cat

Reply: Dammit! Daddy says the same thing.

 

[Huckleman2000]

"Can you finish, already? I've got a 7 o'clock flight in the morning."

 

[Naturist]

"I've been in the mood for hot sex all day, but I decided to sleep with you instead."

Then there's the favorite real life line I've been trying to work into a story, but so far, no luck. I'm sure that at various times during the day, I'd have found her statement interesting, but at the time she chose to say it, it was a true wtf? moment: "I've had more pussy than you'll ever have."

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

. . . "I've had more pussy than you'll ever have."

http://sam.zoy.org/fun/porn/big_pussy.jpeg





"Speaking of jock itch," she suggested, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."​

 

[Naturist]

"No... really... your pussy isn't fat."

 

[elsol]

Reply: Dammit! Daddy says the same thing.

Or better yet

Not bad, but you're mother does it better... and so does your dad.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[elsol]

Well if it's something that would NEVER be in one of my stories...


'Did you come?'

Sincerely,
elSol

 

[Naturist]

Or better yet

Not bad, but you're mother does it better... and so does your dad.

Sincerely,
ElSol

"Am I the only boyfriend you've have that's done all the members of your family?"

 

[elsol]

Uh... can you clean the toilet on the way out, thanks honey. What was your name again?

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Honey123]

"John, you want me to put my fist where?!" Susan's screamed.

 

[oggbashan]

Et Tu Brute?

 

[Guest]

"Oh, please shoot your cum on my face," Delilah begged her husband and his best friend and their boss and the other twenty-two members of his office as she knelt at their feet. "You know I love to feel it burn my eyes and stick in my hair."

As the men began to spatter her face she implored, "Don't forget your digicam; we have to share these pictures with the family at Christmas."

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

"Now I regret not joining the boy scouts. I'll never get these damn knots tied right."

 

[erise]

"Now I regret not joining the boy scouts. I'll never get these damn knots tied right."

"The good news is that yes, you got the knots tied allright. The bad news is, I can't feel my toes."

 

[Honey123]

"Who's your daddy?"

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Of course I remembered to pick up a video tape for your stag party!

Are you familiar with Jerry Falwell?

 

[Willow Rain]

Hey, why don't you go put on that outfit that reminds me of your mom?

That made me laugh out loud enough that my husband came in and I had to tell him. It made him laugh too.

Nice one.

 

[Willow Rain]

Oh, how cute.

It looks like a penis, only smaller.

This one too OMG, just so funny. You guys have me curled up in my chair just rocking with laughter.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Had my sex surrogate not facilitated my aphephobia facilitator and my aphephobia facilitator not used my sex surrogate as her surrogate, I might have progress to report about my intimacy issues.

 

[pop_54]

You still lactating? we've run out of milk.

Or:

Jeez woman you're big... That was like opening the window and trying to fuck the world.

Or:

Do you always fart when you cum.

Or:

"Oh God! I'm cumming!" Delia screamed............ "I never knew you were so religious, and please don't leave yet I haven't finished", Mylon replied.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Had my sex surrogate not facilitated my aphephobia facilitator and my aphephobia facilitator not used my sex surrogate as her surrogate, I might have progress to report about my intimacy issues.

THIS just made my head hurt....

(huh???)

 

[pop_54]

"Oh, please shoot your cum on my face," Delilah begged her husband and his best friend and their boss and the other twenty-two members of his office as she knelt at their feet. "You know I love to feel it burn my eyes and stick in my hair."

As the men began to spatter her face she implored, "Don't forget your digicam; we have to share these pictures with the family at Christmas."

Aw go on let me paint your face, it's low salt, honest.

 

[cantdog]

Baby? Baby, that's the stick stift.