Would you be ok with this?

[cheerful_deviant]

Recently one of my employees had a family experience that made me think a little. His daughter came out and confided to her family that she was a lesbian. She is 20 and in college somewhere.

He is taking it a lot better than I ever would have imagined he would. I expected him to be the “No daughter of mine is gonna be a dyke and that’s final!” kind of guy. But he seems pretty calm about it. Either he really is ok with it or he is good at hiding his real feelings. You can tell that it’s not his first choice, but when he mentioned it he said something along the lines of “Whatever make her happy.”

So, I started thinking, what if in 15 years one of my daughters tells me the same thing? Would I be ok with it?

Personally, I would be fine with it, as long as she is happy, that’s all that matters to me. In fact I might even prefer it knowing that she’s not going out with, living with, or even getting married to some dirtbag who comes home drunk and beats her, or fools around, or whatever. I know not all guys are like that, but there are plenty of them out there that are.

So, what do the rest of you, especially those with kids think? I suspect that most of the crowd here, being pretty liberal, would be ok with it. But what about your significant other? And your family?

Comments?

 

[impressive]

My kids are quite young -- but I think I'd be perfectly fine with it. My husband would struggle, but ultimately accept. (He'd never say anything to their face that would be hurtful.) My mother would be okay, but my in-laws would probably ostracize them.

 

[English Lady]

I think I would be ok with it -surprised-but ok. My daughter is barely 3 and is already much fonder of boys than girls*L*

However it is osmething hubby and I have "What if'd" about and we both came out with the same thing -as long as she's happy.

I don't know what the respective grandparents would think...but we as parents would support her in her decision.

 

[Guest]

I'd be very cool with that. It doesn't matter one little bit! Provided they are themselves and always stay true to themselves and are happy, that's what matters. Of course, I'd discuss it with her and help her come to terms with her own sexuallity any way I could, but I would never try to persuade her that what she was feeling wasn't right.

I don't want my girls to be confused and inhibited. I want them to love life and express themselves however they choose.

Ok, yeah, easier said than done, but I think I've made a pretty good start with my two. I talk to them about almost everything and never shy away from their questions.

Lou

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

I have actually had this conversation with my husband. I would be completely fine with it. As you have said, as long as she is happy. Me being fine with it also would come because I am bi. My hubby however, says "Hell no, one muffdiver in the family is enough". I would hope however that since my kids are 12 and 9 that society will have come around to the idea of lesbian and gays a lot more by then.

Wicked

 

[cloudy]

I'd be okay with it as well. Of course, my daughter is already engaged, and my oldest son has a girlfriend, but sure - no worries for me, although I know that their dads would have a much tougher time accepting it. They would, eventually, though.

Can't speak for my extended family - not really sure how they'd take it, but then, who cares? If they can't deal with it, that's their problem.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

If I had a daughter who came out... well, I think I'd feel pretty much the same as I would if she'd been straight. I mean, so she'd not fall for some sleazy guy who wants her for a combined bank-housekeeper-hooker, but then again, the world's full of sleazy, shallow, evil girls, too.

Either way, she'll have to be careful. I'll be happy if she finds someone who makes her happy, be the cock made out of flesh or plastic or whatever!

 

[BlackShanglan]

In fact I might even prefer it knowing that she’s not going out with, living with, or even getting married to some dirtbag who comes home drunk and beats her, or fools around, or whatever.

I was not aware that these were Y-chromosome-linked traits. Have I missed some significant new genetic breakthrough?

Shanglan

 

[Svenskaflicka]

How many women come home drunk and beat up their husbands?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

As long as my children are happy and find someone who loves them and treats them well is all I can ask.

 

[Guest]

One of my sons is bi, the other seems straight so far (they're 25 and 29). I and my family and friends would not have given it special thought if either or both were gay.

Perdita

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I would most likely be a bit disturbed by it... would have to take serious time to think about both what I do think and what I ought think.

On a number of fronts, its enough to give pause and think about what it means.

 

[Just-Legal]

*snip*

In fact I might even prefer it knowing that she’s not going out with, living with, or even getting married to some dirtbag who comes home drunk and beats her, or fools around, or whatever. I know not all guys are like that, but there are plenty of them out there that are.

*snip*

Sorry to just jump on this comment, but... women do that too you know. I have a friend who's girlfriend broke his wrist in three places with a saucepan for telling his mother he loved her over the phone - she thought it was "his other woman".

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Would you be ok with this?

... she thought it was "his other woman".

I might have done the same, Helen. Then I would have made it up to him really fine.

Perdita

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: Re: Would you be ok with this?

I was not aware that these were Y-chromosome-linked traits. Have I missed some significant new genetic breakthrough?

Shanglan

Originally quoted by Just-Legal
Sorry to just jump on this comment, but... women do that too you know. I have a friend who's girlfriend broke his wrist in three places with a saucepan for telling his mother he loved her over the phone - she thought it was "his other woman".

While I agree that these traits are not exclusive to men, I feel that they are much more common in the 'XY' chromosone set than in the 'XX'.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Can't speak for my extended family - not really sure how they'd take it, but then, who cares? If they can't deal with it, that's their problem.

I agree 100% here. But the problem is, they can make your life a living hell.

I think my parents would be fine with it but my mother in-law would have a heart attack on the spot. Then, if she lived thru that, she would go to the church and say a couple of thousand Hail Marys, Novenas, Stations of the Cross, and whatever other things Cathlics do. Then she would lay into my wife, "How could you let this happen?"... then me "What did you do to make this happen?"

Then she would try to tell my daughter that she was going to go to Hell for her sins. At this point I wold tell her off, and it all goes down hill from there.

 

[Party Girl]

I didn't take the time to read the rest of the posts, so I may be reiterating something someone else has mentioned, in which case ... I apologize for the repetition.

I have to admit ... I feel SO sorry for my parents. They just wanted a family. And they got, well, ME. I tortured them all through my teenaged existence. Recently I've grown up a lot, and started to recognize how much they do for me and how much they love me. But wow, I'm off-subject.

When I was about sixteen I went through a phase where I'd say ANYTHING for shock value. If I could REALLY freak them out, it was a productive day. I remember when I decided to tell them I was a lesbian, expecting them to absolutely trip out on me.

What a let-down!

They were very understanding ... told me that a lot of people have these feelings and it was completely normal. Sometimes people just have to experiment before they find what they're looking for. They encouraged me to date whoever I wanted if it would help me discover more about myself.

So how shocked was I? Well, more than I'd even expected them to be. I think that might have been the point when I started to realize that my parents were really cool people, and existed in roles other than as my mother and father.

I respect any parent who can encourage their child to pursue the lifestyle the child wants regardless of what his or her personal beliefs are. Kudos to your employee. Better to embrace an alternative choice than to lose your child's respect or perhaps your child, period.

 

[Lovepotion69]

I think that instinctively I'd probably react a bit even if I don't mind. It's just one of those things I suppose, but it'd also depend if I had already figured it out or not. I'd be generally ok with it though. I wouldn't know about the dad as I have yet to meet him.
The main problem would be my parents accepting it. They're both against homosexuality. Although they've both asked if I'm lesbian a couple of times (god knows why!). lol And mom did once say that if I was, then she wouldn't be thrilled but probably forced to accept it. Both has yet to overcome the whole "my wife/husband" terminology between gay/les.

I do admit I'd have more trouble if my son would be a transvestite/transsexual. But I'd accept it and probably have a laugh once the chock left me.

 

[rgraham666]

How many women come home drunk and beat up their husbands?

My ex, for one.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Re: Would you be ok with this?

While I agree that these traits are not exclusive to men, I feel that they are much more common in the 'XY' chromosone set than in the 'XX'.

1)

Or much more commonly reported? Under-reporting of domestic violence is a typical enough phenomena in women. Add in the social stigma of a man being "beaten" by a woman and you have a very strong likelihood of silence.

2)

I believe the original comment was:

In fact I might even prefer it knowing that she’s not going out with, living with, or even getting married to some dirtbag who comes home drunk and beats her, or fools around, or whatever.

This is a statement suggesting that it flatly will not happen, not that it is statistically less likely to happen. As such, it is flatly wrong.

3)

I might have done the same, Helen. Then I would have made it up to him really fine.

May we consider how charming we would find this statement coming from a gentleman contemplating breaking his wife's wrist in three places?

Shanglan

 

[English Lady]

How many women come home drunk and beat up their husbands?

My husbands ex. Slashed him with a knife several times, one in his chest came damn close to his heart.


Sorry...that was a bit of a thread hijack but it hit a nerve!


Back to the original discussion ......

 

[Guest]

Shanglan, I was joking, but I get your point(s). I've never been physically violent and do not appreciate it from anyone.

Perdita

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I believe part of the parent’s reaction would depend upon whether they were content with living their own life, or whether in some way they thought they deserved to also live their child’s life.

That, I believe, would be why it might get sticky.

 

[Guest]

my daughter peusdo-came out to me last year... not sure if its because its the new "trend" (ive heard that being bi is the new black)
if shes happy.. if shes safe.. who am i to judge her?

by the same token... i just came out to my mom a few years ago. she said shed always wanted a lezzi daughter. go figgah! *grin*

 

[Randi Grail]

Me with serious face: "Mom, dad, I have something important to say to you."

Mom: "Oh no, you're pregnant?!"

Dad: "Oh no, you're expelled?!"

Me: "No, I think I'm gay."

Long pause when I get weird looks.

Mom: "Was that all?"

Dad: "I thought 'gay' was only used on men. Don't you mean lesbian?"

Me: "Maybe. But actually, I think I'm both. You know, bi. I have a girlfriend now, and the whole school knows that, so I figured you would find out sooner or later anyway."

Dad: "Bisexual, you say?"

Mom: "You're not expelled then?"

Me: "No!"

Dad: "Huh, it figures. You're just like your mom."

Mom: "What? I'm not bisexual!"

Dad: "No, but niether of you can ever make up your damn mind."




I'd probably react like my grandmother did: "So?"