Worst florid purple cock euphemism- go!

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

As per the icky words thread:

Purple-crested cycloptic love cockatoo and

fleshy torpid ma'am-jammer

 

[Guest]

Mr. Hap-penis

(used by an ex-)

 

[destinie21]

cute dickie-bird

 

[KillerMuffin]

"tumescent member"

I could choke someone over that particular one. It's teeth-grittingly awful.

 

[Quasimodem]

Mr. Hap-penis (used by an ex-)

Misquoting Marlon Brando from "The Last Tango In Paris."

Our survey SAYS: "Your happiness is my hap-penis."

 

[Guest]

I always suspected him of plagiarism. Thanks, Q.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

"Tumescent" and "member" are bad enough on their own. Combined, it's like bleach and ammonia...

 

[KillerMuffin]

That is about the most apt description I've ever read about those two words, Mlle.

I hate the use of the word member for penis.

 

[Guest]

Muff and Mlle:

I daresay it's a patriarchal expression, however archaical. Member implies what it implies, i.e., no women allowed; we can't be or have "members".

I can be tumescent though, in more places than a man.

Perdita

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Member was always the word of choice in Regency Romances- if you had just used "manhood" and needed to change it up a bit. You know, variety is the spice of life, especially when one is confined to writing an entire sex scene with no actual mention of sex itself- but if you've ever read one, you know the hero never exclaims anything- he always "ejaculates":

"God damn it, Fellatia!" Hardwick ejaculated. "I never touched Miss Burybone!"

 

[Octavian]

This is genuine. It was spotted in a story on another site by Lakota Moon, who generously allowed me to appropriate it for my sig, because I wrote the spoof reply.

'Majestic tree of manhood'

Octavian

“Encase your majestic tree of manhood in the sublimely soft wondrous wet hallowed depths of my body,” she implored.
“Oh,” he replied, “you mean you wanna fuck!”

 

[cahab]

Mrs Mills

Check out http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2104-727577,00.html every sunday. Usually good for a giggle.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Octavian...hmmm. I hope to be the Marshallin someday...

 

[BlackSnake]

Are rod, pole, tool, Johnson, boy, love stick, or babymaker good to use?

 

[BlackSnake]

...

“Encase your majestic tree of manhood in the sublimely soft wondrous wet hallowed depths of my body,” she implored.
“Oh,” he replied, “you mean you wanna fuck!”

Effective communication.

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmmm

Well I don't know hey!!

Maybe, 'he allowed his massive pulsating one eyed bed snake, which was already dribbling with pre-cum, to twang forth from his jeans like a coiled spring released, his massive purple circumcised helmet seemed to quiver in the breeze as he aimed his huge manhood into Clair's virgin shit locker, within minutes of his first assault on her tight chocolate starfish, Clair felt an excessive pressure up her dung funnel as Mylon emptied the contents of his bollocks into her anal tract as he came like a train'.

PS: "Oh God I'm cumming" screamed Mylon.

Sorry, pops pissed again, "drunk" my darling US citizens not angry.

pops.............

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

God, I love the English.