wondering what to do?

[innocencebegone]

I am curious abut BDSM and would like to explore the scene more with my husband, but he isn't interested in more than role playing and dressing up. I would like to try being tied up, etc. but he doesn't want to. My question is, should I pursue this further with him or be happy with what we are doing now? I love to dress up like a naughty MILF and a schoolgirl, but I wouldn't mind trying something more involved. Any advice?

 

[CBM514]

I am curious abut BDSM and would like to explore the scene more with my husband, but he isn't interested in more than role playing and dressing up. I would like to try being tied up, etc. but he doesn't want to. My question is, should I pursue this further with him or be happy with what we are doing now? I love to dress up like a naughty MILF and a schoolgirl, but I wouldn't mind trying something more involved. Any advice?

I'm assuming you've discussed it with hubby? What is his objection to trying it?

 

[Subgirl6]

I am so going through that too. I'm a sub and my h doesn't want to do the things I'm so interested in. I have a friend that's a Dom and I want to explore with him but....

 

[CBM514]

I am so going through that too. I'm a sub and my h doesn't want to do the things I'm so interested in. I have a friend that's a Dom and I want to explore with him but....

This is a hard thing...I understand your desires and hope you can work it out with hubby...if he doesn't understand what you want or isn't able to give it to you he likely won't understand going outside of your marriage to get it either...

 

[gagginforit]

Could you give us more information? What exactly have you asked him to do, and what reason if any has he given for not wanting to?

Maybe you're jumping in at the deep end and he's feeling overwhelmed. Maybe start really small with just being lightly restrained with a scarf or something. Then work up to the more advanced stuff as he gets more and more comfortable.

Baby steps.

 

[gretchenmilliner]

If you want to sneak hubby to the next level you could don your damsel in distress outfit, you can figure out what that is, then he will have to tie you up before the game begins so that he can rescue you. If it were me I would design the costume and have him tie me in a position where he could take me doggy style then and there if he so wished. Alternatively, don the costume, tie yourself up and start hollering for help but if you do make sure that he will be able to hear you and will come running. If you both enjoy that first game then the next time you play you can leave other objects about and explain in graphic detail what they are for and how your evil captors planned to use on you before, after or whilst they took advantage of your helpless state. Hopefully he'll come to realise that the bad guys seem to get all the fun.

If he will not play at that you could see if he will let you tie him up. If he will, once he is well secured, edge him for at least fifteen minutes before you let him come; do not warn him what you have planned it needs to be a surprise. If you're not sure how to go about that see the Joy of Sex, slow masturbation, and possibly gags too, that should work pretty well. Actually, if you get it right you will be able to make him beg you to allow him to be permitted to tie you up in return for an early orgasm. If after that you both unfortunately end up needing a dom PM me; lol.

 

[Stella_Omega]

One problem that men have talked about is that the lady will come up, suddenly say "I'm a sub!" and then expect him to know exactly what that means to her, and what she wants him to do.

But most guys don't want to try to read their beloveds mind, because getting it wrong really sucks.

Read the essay in my signature, and see if it rings any bells for you...

 

[loneranger8921]

a suggetion to your problem

May I suggest a heart felt letter describing your needs your wants and desires. In the letter don't ask for a response but for it to happen to you. Some men are thick and don't know you are pressing on the throttle. Tell him this and seal the letter with a kiss of lipstick or a bloody fingerprint to send a message.

 

[dianebutterfly]

It certainly is a slow process... but that's what it means to grow, isn't it? Keep constant lines of communication with your husband. There may be some things you don't want to share now--that's fine. In the meanwhile, enjoy the small steps in the right direction!

 

[JustADom]

Well if he's not into it, then he's just not into it. Long-term, I don't necessarily think that it's a bad thing. BDSM is overrated.

 

[Ruby_Atom]

Well if he's not into it, then he's just not into it. Long-term, I don't necessarily think that it's a bad thing. BDSM is overrated.

That's not exactly constructive. Unless they are total puritans, most people do want to please their partners and try out stuff for them.

 

[TortureMeSoftly]

Baby steps. Don't ask to jump right in to a full on BDSM scene if he's already said he's not into that- or is too intimidated to try it. The next time you dress as a school girl, simply ask him to "Hold [your] wrists." (over your head or pinned to your sides) A simple, small, act of submission for you and a small step into the world of being more dominant for him. If that goes off, suggest a smack, or ask for a spanking at a later date once he has started to ease into the idea. Ask him to hold your hair, help you pleasure him by guiding your head. Just brainstorming and I hope this can be resolved without looking outside of your marriage for fulfillment.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Well if he's not into it, then he's just not into it. Long-term, I don't necessarily think that it's a bad thing. BDSM is overrated.

*sigh*
Your screen name identifies you as a Dom.
You have spent days assuming that subs into pain, are fucked up.
You absolutely do not seem at ease in the lifestyle and are now saying the entire lifestyle is overrated (how much of it are you actually aware).

So tell me, why on earth are you here?

You don't seem to get a thing from it or about it.