Women after menopause

[MaturemanAJ]

You don't even read properly. They are not a she, I'm not a lesbian.

I don't need to wonder why he told me I could have a lover, because it was actually discussed. Doesn't change it one bit - it's not an option for me, period. Not even if my partner really loved me to have someone else. If

I've read plenty of them, on this and other threads. Some of them are such that I wonder why they even stay together.

But it still doesn't mean that refusing the option of another relationship is a single bit about fear. For some it's about moral, for some it's that they don't want anyone else. That's what you seem to be missing.

Not missing that all all but as you stated most people here " you wonder why they stay together at all"

She was for LMPTA whom you decided to jump to his defense and then inserted your relationship or relationships into the conversation.

It's great you morally feel you should or people should stay in a relationship but if people are so depressed, feeling unwanted and unhappy there is nobody to blame but themselves. We are all responsible for our own happiness, nobody owns us or is responsible to keep us happy.
Now with that said if people decide no this is my life that I chose then the complaints should not be complaints at all.

 

[Strixaluco]

It's great you morally feel you should or people should stay in a relationship

No, I indeed don't. I think there are very many couples who should have split ages ago.

But I also know it is not always simple.

And while I disagree about whether the risks of HRT are enough to say no to it, nobody else can tell what someone else should do with their body. I've myself refused to continue with p-pills despite my partner wanting me to... Never regretted that decision.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

No, I indeed don't. I think there are very many couples who should have split ages ago.

But I also know it is not always simple.

And while I disagree about whether the risks of HRT are enough to say no to it, nobody else can tell what someone else should do with their body. I've myself refused to continue with p-pills despite my partner wanting me to... Never regretted that decision.

That we can definitely agree on.
It's not simple and sometimes the decision and outcome to split was as difficult or more difficult than staying.

 

[Strixaluco]

Whatever you do, if you decide splitting is better, do it before finding someone else... It won't become easier in the other order.

 

[LMTPA]

Yup, just let her just keep dictating your life and be a good boy.

Gtfo with your SA bullshit. Andrew Tate-level comprehension of relationships. I hope whomever you're referring to doesn't let you continue to coerce them into sexual activity.

 

[Micktg007]

Hi!
For me, I think it’s in overdrive…I seem to want it all the time!
What is she doing to improve things? What are you doing? I know hormonal imbalances can cause chaos with her moods, anxiety, disrupt sleep patterns etc just generally fuck us up!
I’m on a couple of meds to counteract those symptoms & they really help!
My husband has a lower drive than me & he’s gone for work for 4 months at a time so I have a lot of pent up energy…we are working on changing that!
She definitely needs to talk to her doc about it & patience from you. But so many marriages suffer doing this time & for me I was determined not to let it come between us so I researched, talked to my doc etc.
I wish you guys all the best!

 

[Micktg007]

My ex hit it early 38 years old tore us apart, I didn’t cope not that I became demanding but the mood swings tore her fun going personality away from her and it hurt her more. We have remained good friends and we are always there for each other after 10 years apart, she pushed me away and blamed herself which I still cannot cope with but she remains the one person that is always there for me. It’s tough and as much as I tried to understand it’s not the same for a guy the woman feels the pressure, tension and not being able to control there feelings and how their bodies feel. So guys just be there.

 

[LMWM321]

Read all these comments about people with no sex life because someone else has forced that upon them.
Male or Female the toxicity comes from the dictator in their relationship making that decision without consideration for their partner and many times it seems even without consulting their partner.

I don't think it's that simple. ..When a woman calls a halt to sex after menopause it could well be because her husband was a selfish and impatient lover before menopause and sex going forward will require an abundance of patience and selflessness, and if the woman doesn't see that's likely to happen, she may simply say "I'm done with sex." Yes, it's a unilateral decision made by HER, but there's many factors that lead up to it that involve HIM.

 

[Micktg007]

I don't think it's that simple. ..When a woman calls a halt to sex after menopause it could well be because her husband was a selfish and impatient lover before menopause and sex going forward will require even more patience and selflessness, and if the woman doesn't see that's likely to happen, she may simply say "I'm done with sex." Yes, it's a unilateral decision made by HER, but there's many factors that lead up to it that involve HIM.

And you have had experience of your wife going through it or voicing an opinion that men are to blame also ?

 

[LMWM321]

And you have had experience of your wife going through it or voicing an opinion that men are to blame also ?

my wife and I went to a sex therapist after several years of sex becoming less and less enjoyable following menopause. We learned that sex would have to be different it if was to be mutually enjoyed. ..I got the message, but some husbands never do.

here's more

sex after menopause

 

[SweetDee33]

We don't have any recommendations or normality practise about testosterone replacement for women here in Finland either. It's in early phases still, and likely mostly in private sector (most people here go to public sector.)

Frankly, women's sexuality, especially that of older women, is still looked down upon in many countries. They don't necessarily treat even other things like sleeping issues by tackling the root cause (hormone levels) but rather give sleeping pills, if any. Hot flashes are the easiest symptom to endure and to treat, and some doctors still only treat those, not giving doses big enough to treat mental health, sleep, even work ability . So I guess it's not a surprise they don't treat the lack of libido either.

And this of course starts at the research level. So many women's issues are underresearched. Even worse when it means they should actually do a long follow-up to take into account varying hormonal levels... That's exactly what medicine hasn't ever wanted to do!

Oh man this absolutely triggers me me! I work in medical research and it's true that anything related to women's hormones/ perimenopause/ menopause is way understudied. I'm committed to maintaining my sexual health as I age in the same way I try to take care of my physical and mental health and it's so frustrating that there is so little support for women in this area. Even when there is new research, the FDA and ACOG don't update their guidelines quickly or at all so even the best doctors can be way behind the times.

 

[Strixaluco]

Oh man this absolutely triggers me me! I work in medical research and it's true that anything related to women's hormones/ perimenopause/ menopause is way understudied. I'm committed to maintaining my sexual health as I age in the same way I try to take care of my physical and mental health and it's so frustrating that there is so little support for women in this area. Even when there is new research, the FDA and ACOG don't update their guidelines quickly or at all so even the best doctors can be way behind the times.

And meds only being studied on men, because they don't have cycles like women do....

Eh. I try to stop here, else I get triggered.

 

[LMWM321]

Oh man this absolutely triggers me me! I work in medical research and it's true that anything related to women's hormones/ perimenopause/ menopause is way understudied. I'm committed to maintaining my sexual health as I age in the same way I try to take care of my physical and mental health and it's so frustrating that there is so little support for women in this area. Even when there is new research, the FDA and ACOG don't update their guidelines quickly or at all so even the best doctors can be way behind the times.

It's quite understandable that it triggers you. When a man complains that he isn't enjoying sex as much as he used to, it's considered a top priority by his doctor who has a dozen or so FDA approved testosterone replacement medications that he can prescribe.

When a woman complains about it... it's often "Well, we don't have anything that's been adequately studied. ..Besides, that's just how it goes with Women as they age..."

Meanwhile, many women feel as if they're still expected to be available for sex with their husbands even if they aren't enjoying it anymore or, worse, it's become painful for them.