Women— is the mainstream media depiction of “Size Queens” accurate?

[DoctorMan]

Um... no, I don't think that's it. If you were correct then many of the other "fantasies" on those lists wouldn't be there.

Also... explain why the vast majority of dildos purchased by women are near average in size (according to a leading internet retailer)?

Again, I think many men love the idea of their partner being a "hyper-sexual penis super-heroine who can take a huge cock and love it!" ..But that's a male fantasy, not likely a woman’s

And which end does 'near average' fall under - slightly below, or slightly above?

Look, man, I'm not saying that all women are size queens - I'm literally just stating that some care, some don't, and that it's across a much tighter spectrum of acceptable/useful size than men tend to worry/fantasize about. Different women get off on different things.

 

[lily_wall_]

Men can answer too, but I’m not interested in generic “I wish my wife were a size queen” or “it’s pretty hot”— I want to know if the jokes and reactions in movies and shows are exaggerated or understated? Are way more women size queens? Way less?

If you don’t feel comfortable posting you can dm.

I was told my definition of size queen was wrong. I thought anyone who liked a big cock was a size queen. And I was proudly calling myself a size queen.

But someone on lit told me that I'm not. He reached out to me and after some talking showed me his cock. It was beautiful, mouth watering and I told him so. But he was expecting me to belittle him, and laugh at his cock. He told me size queen meant someone who ONLY likes big cocks.

That was the day I dropped my size queen title. Now I call myself size princess

I think most women are like me. Princesses rather than queens

 

[LMWM321]

And which end does 'near average' fall under - slightly below, or slightly above?

Look, man, I'm not saying that all women are size queens - I'm literally just stating that some care, some don't, and that it's across a much tighter spectrum of acceptable/useful size than men tend to worry/fantasize about. Different women get off on different things.

If memory serves, slightly longer because there needs to be enough add'l length to have something to hold on to. But in terms of amount of "insertable length" women simply sought an average dildo (<6")

And no disagreement with your second comment. Yes, some may care others may not. But like I said earlier in the thread, it's impossible to imagine a woman evaluating a partner and thinking, "Hmmm...he's perfect in every way, but his dick is 1/2" shorter than optimum... I guess I'll keep looking." And that's the overarching message - that guys should focus less about the length of their dick and more about the person it's attached to.

 

[whenagain]

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that a majority of screenwriters are still men. As of 2022, only 27.7% were women, according to Writers Guild of America.
Men have always been much more obsessed with penis size than women. Honestly, in most cases, we don’t even want to see your penis until we know you’re a decent person. After that, sure, a little bigger than average can be nice, but at a certain point, too big can be painful. Most of us just want someone who is emotionally mature, treats us right and knows how to make us cum with whatever equipment they have!

This is a very good point— I think a lot of men write dialogue that they think is “women speaking frankly about sex” when it’s a figment of their imaginations.

 

[LMWM321]

The whole premise of this thread is ridiculous. Tell me, in what mainstream movies or TV shows are we presented with a female character who makes "huge dick" a priority as she seeks out a relationship partner? I watch tons of movies and streaming shows and I can't recall a single one. Yes, you'll hear an occassional "big dick" quip from a female character, but that's different from being a Size Queen. And even then, the dialogue is usually written by a male screenwriter.

Sorry, but Size Queens exist almost exlusively in Porn and men's fantasies.

 

[MiaBabe23]

Men can answer too, but I’m not interested in generic “I wish my wife were a size queen” or “it’s pretty hot”— I want to know if the jokes and reactions in movies and shows are exaggerated or understated? Are way more women size queens? Way less?

If you don’t feel comfortable posting you can dm.

I’m not, I don’t get turned on by huge stuffed briefs, I genuinely don’t understand the fuss about bbcs, or indeed bwcs or anything else
Admittedly I have been spoiled in terms of the size of my exes, but it wasn’t their size that got me wet, it what they did with it

 

[MiaBabe23]

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that a majority of screenwriters are still men. As of 2022, only 27.7% were women, according to Writers Guild of America.
Men have always been much more obsessed with penis size than women. Honestly, in most cases, we don’t even want to see your penis until we know you’re a decent person. After that, sure, a little bigger than average can be nice, but at a certain point, too big can be painful. Most of us just want someone who is emotionally mature, treats us right and knows how to make us cum with whatever equipment they have!

Perfectly put, Kitty

 

[Glassnslate]

.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Men can answer too, but I’m not interested in generic “I wish my wife were a size queen” or “it’s pretty hot”— I want to know if the jokes and reactions in movies and shows are exaggerated or understated? Are way more women size queens? Way less?

If you don’t feel comfortable posting you can dm.

So where did the fetish or fantasy (whatever you want to call it) of size queen originate?

It’s definitely a thing, but what the OP was asking was whether their portrayal in movies or TVs shows was accurate, exaggerated or understated, and from the responses so far, it seems to be exaggerated.

 

[LMWM321]

Not to derail/change topics but….

So where did the fetish or fantasy (whatever you want to call it) of size queen originate anyway?

I think it largely comes from men wanting to believe their wives are hyper sexual. ..Believing they crave huge dicks comes from the same weird recess of their brain as wanting them to crave being gang-banged or getting facials from strangers, etc.... It's often harmless fantasy, but if it becomes so overwhelming that it diminishes a mans interest in the real-world sex his wife actually enjoys, well, then it's not so healthy for their relationship.

And i can't help but wonder if some of the these guys who convince their wives to admit to being Size Queens will then slut shame them for it later when they're looking to hurt feelings during a heated argument.

 

[AlwaysInTrouble]

Regarding your last paragraph, I've noticed trend in the posts in the F&S board containing a lot more of the stupid tropes you mention below than in the past, and I suspect, much more than is representative of the distribution of sexual trends across the general Lit population.

That's very interesting.

Certainly true of my wife - and yes, she's fine w/ my mentioning stuff like this. Her best chance of orgasming these days is to use a clitoral suction toy. And if she wants any simultaneous penetration, it's with a very average sized softish dildo. Why not my own penis? Because since menopause my large girth is too distracting a sensation for having an orgasm. It wasn't when we were younger, but it is now, and that's totally fine of course. So I'm happy to do my part by shallowly and slowly animating the dildo as she positions her vibrating suction toy.

It's also worth mentioning that when you read a list of Women's Top 10 or 20 Sexual Fantasies on Oprah's or Cosmo's website... You NEVER see Big Penis, or the clearly racist BBC anywhere on the list! Yet, if you believe what you read here on Lit you would think they are the ONLY fantasies women have.

Of course, we need to remember that probably 75% of the Thread Starters and Posters who claim to be women are probably from men trying to stoke, then get-off, on these sorts of stupid tropes. So, I'll post on any thread - even those that are "intended" for women.

 

[LMWM321]

Regarding your last paragraph, I've noticed trend in the posts in the F&S board containing a lot more of the stupid tropes you mention below than in the past, and I suspect, much more than is representative of the distribution of sexual trends across the general Lit population.

The problem is when a thread that is started by someone asking a serious question is then hi-jacked by idiots wanting to turn it into a convo to jerk off to.. Which is why the Board would do well to separate Sexuality (threads to educate) from Fetishes (threads to titillate).

 

[lil_jenni]

I would say media portrayal is exaggerated to a point, much like media portrayal of many things is exaggerated for entertainment effect. I think the real issue, in my experience, is that it is portrayed much more mean spirited than I have seen in real life. And maybe more common. Of the real life friends I've had, the ones who were open to talking about such things, that is, I've known one who had the a cock must 8" or more or not all attitude. Most adjusted to the size the guy had.

I will admit that my college friends and I talked about cocks a lot. Size (length and girth). Shape. Coloration. Hardness. Texture. Veinyness. Hair. Smell. But anyway, size was just one part, and often not the focus unless a guy was unusually long or thick or skinny or short... You know, the extremes.

What blows me away is that more and more men here seem to think normal sized dicks are small. It was not nearly as much that way when I joined 15 years ago. I think seeing too much porncock can be bad for the psyche, both for men and women. I more and more like seeing pics or vids with guys with regular sized cocks, because I have porncock fatigue at this point... With some exceptions. Some of the the huge ones I see get a reaction because I don't know how the fuck it would even work with someone my size ...

As for dildo vs. vibrator debate, I find dildos to be meh. If I want a cock, I want a cock (and luckily, my Hubby has one that is a great fit for me). If I want to jill off with something other than my fingers, it's usually got to have a good vibe it it.

A caveat is that I tried a strapless strap on with my FWB, and we both enjoyed being on both ends of it. But it was not anatomically accurate. Both ends were shaped to stimulate the right spots rather than just like a dick. And boy did to work.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I don’t think it’s very accurate. I mean maybe in talk but if a penis is too big it can be painful for a woman.

 

[Minnie1127]

Yes size queens are out there but I don't think its like the media portray or men think. Most women just want a decent size that knows how to satisfy them. I myself do prefer one with a little more girth but if he has what is average size or is thinner but longer, if he can use it right and get me off on it than I dont care. I actually don't want large for pain or to big for mouth reasons Yes each woman gets off differently but a man can also know how to use his size as well. You want good sex, work together with what you got and voila you can have some of the best sex of your life.

 

[write_or_wrong]

I once dated a much younger woman, which caused me some uncertainty about my body and skills when it came to sex. She never implied or said there were any problems, and our love life was wonderful (in my opinion). When we had "the talk" about our previous experiences and sexual health, she told me she had a one night stand with a tall black guy "out of curiosity." My insecurity finally led me to ask her if the stereotype was true. She smiled and said "Well, he was a big guy." So I asked her if she preferred large penises. Her answer made me feel much better about that subject. She explained that if it's between 4" and 8" it was fine and she didn't care at all where it was in that range. If it was less than 4" there were still fun things she could do with it. If it was more than 8", "No thanks."

 

[LMWM321]

If it was less than 4" there were still fun things she could do with it. If it was more than 8", "No thanks."

Well, not to change the subject from Mainstream Depiction of Size Queens, but...

Setting aside for a moment that a true 8" long penis is about as common as a man who is 6' 11", why would she decline having sex with him on account of his length? Couldn't she just instruct him to go no deeper than is comfortable for her? ..And it shouldn't be assumed that because it's 8" long it's also very thick (girthy) as penis girth is only loosely correlated with length. Indeed, there are guys with long skinny dicks and guys with short girthy dicks.

My point is that extraordinary girth is the bigger problem, not length. Penetrative sex doesn't require the entire length of the penis to fit inside a vagina, but I'm unaware of how a woman might accommodate only part of a guys girth.

 

[write_or_wrong]

Well, not to change the subject from Mainstream Depiction of Size Queens, but...

Setting aside for a moment that a true 8" long penis is about as common as a 6' 11" tall man, why would she decline having sex with him on account of his length? Couldn't she just instruct him to go no deeper than is comfortable for her? ..And it shouldn't be assumed that because it's 8" long dick it's also very thick (girthy) as penis girth is only loosely correlated with length. Indeed, there are guys with long skinny dicks and guys with short girthy dicks.

My point is that extraordinary girth is the bigger problem, not length. Penetrative sex doesn't require the entire length of the penis to fit inside a vagina, but I'm unaware of how a woman might accommodate only part of a guys girth.

I mostly agree with all of that. Because she had born three children she was well aware of her ability to accommodate girth. But cervix-banging, even once or twice from a long penis who's owner lost control, was so off-putting for her that length did become the deciding factor.

 

[LMWM321]

even once or twice from a long penis who's owner lost control, was so off-putting for her that length did become the deciding factor.

Even a 7" dick is apt to hit a woman's cervix from any angle. So guys who dream of having a 8, 9, 10 inch dick must not care very much about their partners comfort during sex.

 

[SexyAruna]

It’s funny how this is a question for women but most people responding are guys!
Yes, it’s true that we like size and it’s expected that guys can fill us up.
I think the guys waiting around for a woman who says size doesn’t matter at all are delusional. Size matters. sorry!
Porn obviously exaggerates it. 8 or more inches is not the expectation and it’s uncomfortable.

 

[LMWM321]

It’s funny how this is a question for women but most people responding are guys!

Yes, but there are very few actual women in these forums. So these threads would basically wither immediately. Plus, most posters who claim to be women are almost certainly not. ..So, there's that.

Yes, it’s true that we like size and it’s expected that guys can fill us up.
I think the guys waiting around for a woman who says size doesn’t matter at all are delusional. Size matters. sorry!
Porn obviously exaggerates it. 8 or more inches is not the expectation and it’s uncomfortable.

Well, you're kind of agreeing with me. Women want to feel "filled up". And since men and women evolved as a species with average-sized dicks and average-sized vagina's as expected counterparts for sex, it's predictable that the average woman feels "filled" by the average dick. Of course, there are always outliers. Plus, you're admitting that dicks that are 8" or bigger are uncomfortable. Well, to the "Size Queens" depicted in the male-written, male-produced porn, a mere 8" would hardly be too big.

Besides, no one is shaming those women who prefer a bigger dick. After all, I much prefer bigger breasts. But the idea that there are "size queens" - ie., women who make a 8 or 9-inch dick their top priority of finding a mate - is largely a male, porn-driven fantasy.

And you certainly don't find ANY of these size queens in mainstream media

 

[ArseGratiaArtis]

I think it’s worth bearing in mind that a majority of screenwriters are still men. As of 2022, only 27.7% were women, according to Writers Guild of America.
Men have always been much more obsessed with penis size than women. Honestly, in most cases, we don’t even want to see your penis until we know you’re a decent person. After that, sure, a little bigger than average can be nice, but at a certain point, too big can be painful. Most of us just want someone who is emotionally mature, treats us right and knows how to make us cum with whatever equipment they have!

Kitty, you make an excellent point. I have rarely gotten laid on the first date, especially if it is someone who considers me worth building a relationship with, and vice versa. By the time we get to the bedroom, size is irrelevant. Still, it's fun to see a woman's eyes go wide when she sees what I have, but by then it wouldn't make a difference.

Exactly once, when a woman caught sight of me partially hard in a Speedo, did size matter in attracting someone, and even then we had known each other for a few months.

 

[policywank]

An interesting question just came to mind:

I wonder how many of the these idiot men who keep pushing their wive's into admitting to a "huge dick" interest will later slut shame them for it if an argument about sex or suspicion of infidelity arises? It's like a no-win for women.

Discussion of penis size preference is generally a no-win for women. It is a topic best avoided and when it comes up we naturally deflect or soft pedal the topic. That isn't because we are all secretly size queens or that there is something to hide. It is because guys are so sensitive to the topic that they will find a way to turn any answer into a negative be it now or some time down the road as you suggest. So, we just don't want to talk about it at all.

Ironically, I think that guys notice (at least sub-consciously) that we aren't answering the question (at least not directly) and therefore infer that we are withholding something that just isn't there.

Truth is that sure we have preferences in all aspects of a man as do all people when it comes to their partners. But it is not nearly as important as guys imagine and it isn't just a linear bigger is better. Unless it is the size of a thimble or a baseball bat chances are it is very little concern to most women. And I say that as a woman with a preference for larger. I can be honest about that while also noting that it is way way down the list of things that matter.

There is a sort of comedy trope about a woman asking "does my as look fat in these pants" and how men are conditioned to always give a reassuring response regardless of the truth. If the man hastens to say 'no' it doesn't mean he is lying. It means nothing other than he knows to give us the answer we want regardless of the truth.

It strikes me as odd the way the penis size topic is often seen as binary - irrelevant or all important. And how guys seem to think it will blind a woman's judgment. Let's use money as a metaphor. Would I rather my man have lots of money than no money? Well yes anyone would. Unless you are a monk you are probably lying if you say otherwise. But that doesn't mean wealth is a criteria for choosing a mate and I am certainly not going to be lured away by someone else's pocket book. Think of it as I have chosen the man I want to be with and that is a done deal. Now ask me if I would rather he be rich and well hung or poor with a tiny penis. We all know the answer but that doesn't change how I feel about him and it doesn't mean I am going to be lured away by some other guy.

 

[LMWM321]

Truth is that sure we have preferences in all aspects of a man as do all people when it comes to their partners. But it is not nearly as important as guys imagine

A great post as always..

As to the above.. Yes, this is of course true. And while I do have my doubts about the true prevalence of size-queens - based at least in part on my own experience with having a huge dick and finding it to more problematic than advantageous - I will say it's rather amazing how much women have to apologize if they indeed prefer a big dick. Like... do guys apologize for preferring big breasts, or a big ass? No! Hell, there's a chain of shitty restaurants named after women's breasts - ie., Hooters - and countless songs celebrating big butts. ..But if a women admits she sorta, kinda prefers a big dick, she has to temper her admission with lots of assurances that "it matters, but it's not THAT important." Yes, many guys egos are quite fragile while at the same time they don't seem to give a rip about a woman's ego.

I seem to recall you making this point before PW, but it bears repeating.

 

[SouthByWest]

In my experience, women are very happy to find out that their newest sex partner has a much larger than average dick; even happier to find out that he knows what to do with it; and ecstatic when it helps give them orgasms beyond what they've had before. They may not have been size queens coming in, but they quickly warm to the idea of having a bf with a big dick, and they tend to be eager to share this information with their girlfriends.

For those too small to take it the first time, some feel a sharp sense of inadequacy at first, but if they are willing to stick it out, after a week or two most find that they've stretched enough to make the girth fit, after which see above.

A couple of years ago, a woman I dated who was in her mid-20s told me that she was initially attracted to me when she could see from my workout shorts that I had a large dick. More generally, walking around in tight workout clothing, it's easy to tell when a woman's eyes go there. There's lots of interest, though of course not universally so.