Impatatdrv
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Woman's prospective needed
- Thread starter Impatatdrv
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emap
Literotica Guru
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The most common 'rape' fantasy is tied up and pleasured for as long as he wants. In other words tied up licked, fingered, and fucked for a couple hours.
There's a reason for this, us gals are seen as in charge of the house so we have to worry about just about everything. Did we leave the stove on, is the laundry done, is there enough clean clothes for tomorrow, is the makeup fine for tomorrow or should I run out for more now, did he enjoy dinner, did he enjoy breakfast, what the hell am I making for breakfast, what the hell did that comment that guy said mean, what the hell is he thinking right now.
Trust me that is barely scratching the surface of it. You want pressure, be a woman, we put ourselves in more than any guy can handle.
It's worse with kids, I've babysat and well let's just say it's not relaxing when they go to sleep.
So there is the 'rape' fantasy, it's not so much a rape is a release of pressure. Tied up at a guys mercy we can't do anything but think about what he is doing. Works well if it is tied up at her mercy as well I think, never been there.
Your wife won't say because askign what she wants means either she tells you and you freak, that is a worry, or you don't do it how she wants and she hates it, another worry. Hell doing it exactly how she wants and she hates it is a worry, we worry a lot.
Just to shut up finally do this, tie her up, or not, mostly the key thing here is to assert conrol and keep her in bed. Trust me bed works better because there's hopefully nothing for her to look at and go oh my god I forgot/need to do something. If you have dirty laundry in the bedroom, move it elsewhere, she needs to forget everything and get orgasms. You may also want to try doing housework for her, not asked, just do it.
There's a reason for this, us gals are seen as in charge of the house so we have to worry about just about everything. Did we leave the stove on, is the laundry done, is there enough clean clothes for tomorrow, is the makeup fine for tomorrow or should I run out for more now, did he enjoy dinner, did he enjoy breakfast, what the hell am I making for breakfast, what the hell did that comment that guy said mean, what the hell is he thinking right now.
Trust me that is barely scratching the surface of it. You want pressure, be a woman, we put ourselves in more than any guy can handle.
It's worse with kids, I've babysat and well let's just say it's not relaxing when they go to sleep.So there is the 'rape' fantasy, it's not so much a rape is a release of pressure. Tied up at a guys mercy we can't do anything but think about what he is doing. Works well if it is tied up at her mercy as well I think, never been there.
Your wife won't say because askign what she wants means either she tells you and you freak, that is a worry, or you don't do it how she wants and she hates it, another worry. Hell doing it exactly how she wants and she hates it is a worry, we worry a lot.
Just to shut up finally do this, tie her up, or not, mostly the key thing here is to assert conrol and keep her in bed. Trust me bed works better because there's hopefully nothing for her to look at and go oh my god I forgot/need to do something. If you have dirty laundry in the bedroom, move it elsewhere, she needs to forget everything and get orgasms. You may also want to try doing housework for her, not asked, just do it.
Lord Pmann
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Trust me that is barely scratching the surface of it. You want pressure, be a woman, we put ourselves in more than any guy can handle.
Because it's no pressure at all trying to provide for and keep happy a woman that thinks like this. No pressure at all.
fire_breeze
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This is something that can go very wrong very quickly. You need to discuss with your wife what she wants. Period. Only she can describe the fantasy for you, not any of us. Maybe she wants something that emap described. Or maybe she wants something very rough. However, if she's expecting A, and you give her B, well... I don't think I have to explain how bad this can go, right?
And here's another option: maybe her reluctance in sharing the details of her fantasy indicates that she wants this fantasy to stay in the realm of fantasy. So all I can suggest is that you sit down, tell your wife that because you want to fulfill this fantasy without causing her any physical or psychological hard she needs to tell you the details - IF she wants this translated into reality. Then, discuss things like safewords and aftercare.
Have fun.
Bramblethorn
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This is something that can go very wrong very quickly. You need to discuss with your wife what she wants. Period. Only she can describe the fantasy for you, not any of us. Maybe she wants something that emap described. Or maybe she wants something very rough. However, if she's expecting A, and you give her B, well... I don't think I have to explain how bad this can go, right?
And here's another option: maybe her reluctance in sharing the details of her fantasy indicates that she wants this fantasy to stay in the realm of fantasy. So all I can suggest is that you sit down, tell your wife that because you want to fulfill this fantasy without causing her any physical or psychological hard she needs to tell you the details - IF she wants this translated into reality. Then, discuss things like safewords and aftercare.
Have fun.
Agreed with all this. One suggestion: if she feels embarrassed talking about exactly what she wants, one way to have that discussion is to point her at a suitable story archive (here or elsewhere) and ask her to pick some that describe the sort of thing she'd like to try.
This sounds like a very logical option and lets her give you an idea without having to go into detail. Most likely, she don't know exactly what she wants yet, she just wants fullfilled.
EbonyFire77
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Have you tried slightly forcing her to have sex? If she was being a tease one day and wouldn't get into bed with you, would she freak out from having you start taking off her clothes while you two were in the bedroom and then start eating her out? Most women don't protest too much once they get eaten out. LOL.
LivingRnd3
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It may very well be she doesn't know what she wants, she may be looking for new ideas. My advice would to find out what is unacceptable to her, crossing that line would kill it quickly. And it might help her warm up to expressing some of her own ideas. I would agree with emap in that we just want to hand over the controls for a while.
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
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NO! don't even go near this advice. Hopefully no one has ever been subjected to EbonyFire77's fantasies.
This is about a woman's fantasy not yours and ultimately it is not about forcing - slightly or otherwise - and your suggestion of keep forcing until you can start licking her out is heading down the real rape path not one of fantasy.
Hopefully I just read your post all wrong...
____________________________________________
OK - breathe - calm - As mentioned safe words are essential. You may have more than one - meaning there could be a word for "this is hurting just a little too much - ease up but don't stop" through to "Just stop". I have read here many suggestions of safe words to use which should be something not too hard to remember in the heat of the moment, but not necessarily what would be used in the play. I have heard of people getting so caught up in the moment they could not remember the obscure word they had chosen and the "no" and "stop" didn't work as fast as they hoped for.
You could play with the suggestion - "It is going to happen this weekend and you will never know when I am going to grab you" - build the tease up... and of course the safe words would have to be used even here if there is a change of heart.
In the planning discussions you could talk through different scenarios. Try and do some mutual research on this area - discuss and LISTEN. You both have to know the limits.
I totally agree with emap "The most common 'rape' fantasy is tied up and pleasured for as long as he wants. In other words tied up licked, fingered, and fucked for a couple hours." - so be very careful about bringing in degrading and abusive behaviour unless that has been discussed prior.
In the end this is just play and no one is being forced (even slightly) into behaviour or situations they are not in total agreement to.
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GrrlFriday
Guest
In addition to what's been said above - don't become obsessed with uncovering her rape fantasy. Is she nervous about having such a fantasy? She may have developed this fantasy from a less-severe abuse in her past, so it is essential that you talk to her about it, and that it'd be ok to just talk about it, and you don't have to roleplay it out if she doesn't want to. Do you both talk about your sexual fantasies?
Get a good anthology book of sexual fantasies - I like My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, but it's a bit dated (particularly the analysis sections, but also the world is a different place now than it was 40 years ago). It's often easier to point to a story and say 'I liked this'. Then you can work on both of you saying 'I liked this one and why' or 'I didn't like this one and why'. If you can be articulate about your own fantasies, that will encourage her to be articulate also.
Get a good anthology book of sexual fantasies - I like My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, but it's a bit dated (particularly the analysis sections, but also the world is a different place now than it was 40 years ago). It's often easier to point to a story and say 'I liked this'. Then you can work on both of you saying 'I liked this one and why' or 'I didn't like this one and why'. If you can be articulate about your own fantasies, that will encourage her to be articulate also.
D
DarkPleasures
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Out of curiosity, will you receive more opinions/advice by placing this same thread in How To, Personals, and Fetish?
I think that a lot of women (myself included) find it very hard to initiate discussion with their partners about rape fantasies due to the sheer tabooness of the subject. Then, when you think of how detailed and extreme fantasies can be, expressing how you want play to go in real-life can seem almost impossible.
I started writing more but then I remembered this:
http://tacit.livejournal.com/239838.html
It's a really good, in depth blog post that covers most everything you should talk about before doing any rape play and also has some good scenario ideas. I suggest you both read it alone first and then again together before having an open discussion about how to proceed.
One last bit of advice, some that you might be hard to hear. If either of you doesn't feel fully comfortable being talking about rape play, then you most likely will feel even more uncomfortable acting it out. If you do decide to go ahead and either of you acts blasé about details someone might end up having a really bad time; worst case scenario is your relationship might never be the same again and not in a good way. Yes, you will have a safeword if something goes wrong, but feeling safe and comfy talking with each other about this lessens the chances that you ever need to use the safeword. Except for silly stuff like 'Everytime you thrust my head hits the wall, can we move a bit?' (happens EVERY time!)
Hope this all goes well for you, whether or not you decide to try any rape play. Just make sure everyone is having fun and you can't go wrong
I started writing more but then I remembered this:
http://tacit.livejournal.com/239838.html
It's a really good, in depth blog post that covers most everything you should talk about before doing any rape play and also has some good scenario ideas. I suggest you both read it alone first and then again together before having an open discussion about how to proceed.
One last bit of advice, some that you might be hard to hear. If either of you doesn't feel fully comfortable being talking about rape play, then you most likely will feel even more uncomfortable acting it out. If you do decide to go ahead and either of you acts blasé about details someone might end up having a really bad time; worst case scenario is your relationship might never be the same again and not in a good way. Yes, you will have a safeword if something goes wrong, but feeling safe and comfy talking with each other about this lessens the chances that you ever need to use the safeword. Except for silly stuff like 'Everytime you thrust my head hits the wall, can we move a bit?' (happens EVERY time!)
Hope this all goes well for you, whether or not you decide to try any rape play. Just make sure everyone is having fun and you can't go wrong
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
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Out of curiosity, will you receive more opinions/advice by placing this same thread in How To, Personals, and Fetish?
seems he is pretty keen on chatting as well
6 of his 13 posts so far are direct requests for chat - now add the triplicate rape oriented posts (requesting PMs and chat) - then the two posts that just say "Pm sent".
With all this chat going on I just wonder when his wife actually gets a chance to communicate anything with him at all. Perhaps through PMs and yahoo chats.
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DarkPleasures
Guest
seems he is pretty keen on chatting as well
6 of his 13 posts so far are direct requests for chat - now add the triplicate rape oriented posts (requesting PMs and chat) - then the two posts that just say "Pm sent".
With all this chat going on I just wonder when his wife actually gets a chance to communicate anything with him at all. Perhaps through PMs and yahoo chats.
?
Exactly. He wants to have rape cyber with women who are not his wife.
Impatatdrv
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I doubt that your wife really wants to be "raped" but wants to be "taken forcefully" and "used" aggressively. Rape is a terrible experience and I can't imagine that any woman really wants to be raped but I've known several women who liked to be "fucked forcefully" pushed around a little, spanked, maybe even slapped (not in a way that can cause damage) and being told that they're going to be used in every way possible. I'm sure, if you fully communicate with her and you can respect what she wants, you can let the "inner beast" in you come out to play. I once thought I'd never be able to do such things given that I was raised to be respectful and gentle with women. However, given the understanding of what some of my partners wanted, I found that it was quite liberating for me as well as her to be a "nasty bastard" with her. Good luck and think positivaly.
twoforsexyfun
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my two cents for the cause
My wife and I are talking about the same thing, but she has told me she wants to start off more forced,held down, tied up or what ever after she is warmed up and ready to go.....then work up to being a breakin if she likes what has been done before. As far as communication we have a small note pad we use sometmes to ask/answer questions (for those shy topics). Works great and we will also use it as a tool for what might happen to you or instuctions of what is expected of you. Hope this helps
My wife and I are talking about the same thing, but she has told me she wants to start off more forced,held down, tied up or what ever after she is warmed up and ready to go.....then work up to being a breakin if she likes what has been done before. As far as communication we have a small note pad we use sometmes to ask/answer questions (for those shy topics). Works great and we will also use it as a tool for what might happen to you or instuctions of what is expected of you. Hope this helps
