Wife Wants a Boob Job... Thoughts?

[Luv_2_RP_Guy]

**** Update: Below is the original post. However I wanted to update the thread.

I feel the need to update this whole thread as things have changed in the past 2 and a half years.

A little more than a year ago we began seeing that the occurance of breast and ovarian cancer in my wives side of the family was significant. We had heard about the BRCA Genetic testing and decided to persue this. Her mother had a bout with breast cancer a few years before so she underwent the testing. Her results came back that she was a carrier of the gene. My wife and her sister took the test and her sister came back negative, while my wife came back positive. Essentially it meant that she would have an 87% lifetime risk for breast cancer and a 35% life time risk for ovarian cancer (potentially higher due to family history)

After lots of discussion and research she decided to have preventative surgery. She had a skin sparing, nipple sparing, double mastectomy. She also had a total hysterectomy.

She had three surgeries total and they were tough. She was a trooper through it all. I am humbled by her strength really. Sex is different post hysterectomy. She does not naturally get wet now, we use lube as we really dont want to reintroduce hormones into her body as they can be carcinogenic.

Her reward..... the fantastic boob job she always wanted. And to be honest, she looks fucking fantastic.

Was it worth it?... hardly. But we will take it.

Original content: I posted this in the Personals thread as well... But I thought I would ask here as well as this is kind of an advice forum. I hope thats ok.

My wife wants a boob job but I am on the fence. Here are my reasons:

1. Its a pretty intense surgery.

2. You are putting something foriegn in your body which is not healthy.

3. Its expensive. Initially and it will have to be replaced at some point.

4. What if she it not happy with it? Too big/ too small not meeting expectations etc.

5. Social perceptions of her?

Here is the deal. I am a pretty good husband. I have told her time and time again that I love how she looks and told her that I would prefer she not do it. My actions back up my words so you wont find me checking out other chicks when we are out and so on. However I do think I understand a little bit of how she feels. She was a competitive gymnast when she was younger and eventually an NCAA cheerleader so during puperty she was so athletic that it had an effect on her figure. She is 5'4" weighs about 113 lbs. She wears a 36 A bra. Her rib cage is wide from gymnastics. Has a 30 waist and probably 32/34-ish hips. She would like to have a cup size of a large B.

I just want her to be happy is all. It is her body for sure so it is her decision. I just want to be able to get some perspective. So what do you gals/guys think?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Millions of girls get fake boobs. I have friends who have them and I don't know a single person who has a complication. Not saying they don't exist. But I think this is such a common procedure now. I say if she's thought it through, let her do it if she thinks it will boost her confidence. I mean, people like to give girls crap about boob jobs saying it is not going to help their confidence. For some, it won't. She needs realistic expectations. But for some, it does. Just as a girl or guy feels better about their physical appearance after they lose weight, many girls do after boobs.

My best friend's wife got them done about a year ago and she couldn't be happier. She looks amazing and they boosted her confidence.

Get a good doc. Don't go cheap. This is not a place to be a penny pincher.

 

[Christopher2012]

Millions of girls get fake boobs. I have friends who have them and I don't know a single person who has a complication. Not saying they don't exist. But I think this is such a common procedure now. I say if she's thought it through, let her do it if she thinks it will boost her confidence. I mean, people like to give girls crap about boob jobs saying it is not going to help their confidence. For some, it won't. She needs realistic expectations. But for some, it does. Just as a girl or guy feels better about their physical appearance after they lose weight, many girls do after boobs.

My best friend's wife got them done about a year ago and she couldn't be happier. She looks amazing and they boosted her confidence.

Get a good doc. Don't go cheap. This is not a place to be a penny pincher.

Girls in my class got 1 of 3 things right before graduation... a new car, a baby, or a boob job.

 

[amofiga]

Luv 2 RP guy

I can certainly understand your wife's desire to have a boob job if she feels it would help her confidence and thinks it would make her look better. However, I agree with you. My wife has always had smallish boobs. Frankly, I'm the exception to what seems to be the norm for a lot of guys in that I prefer smaller boobs and that tall long lean athletic body on a woman. I love the Misty May Treanor look (woman beach volleyball olympian). I've been watching her for what is it, three olympics now, and lusting after her during every match. I'm much more of a leg and ass man and I'd personally rather snuggle up with my face in a woman's crotch than in her boobs. But that's me. Maybe it's you too. Who knows. If my wife wanted a boob job, I'd try to talk her out of it. My wife has for years worried about her small boobs, but I've continually told her, that's what I like. I figure if a woman's husband isn't upset with her boobs and she wants bigger ones, who is it for? Other guys to oogle? Other women to be envious of?

On the other side of it, if this is something that would truly make HER happy and you can afford it, let her be happy. The happier she is, the happier you'll be. I learned that a long time ago. Hell, my wife wants a Volkswagen Beetle which I think is stupid andn impractical, but I can pretty much tell you that next spring, we're buying a Beetle. Maybe your wife would settle for a sports car or something.

It's a tough call and not something to do lightly. I've always figured, there's no such thing as a "risk free simple surgery". I've known of people dying from having their tonsils removed and have seen botched face lifts. My cousin had knee surgery and developed an infection that almost killed him. He was supposed to up and around in a couple of days but was back in the hospital for a month. My neighbor had back surgery because he was tired of wearing a brace and now he's in a wheelchair. This old boy isn't going under any knife unless he absolutely has to.

 

[LikeASnowflake]

My friend got one like 8 months ago or so. Recovery takes a while and after the surgery she was in immense pain. After about 3 weeks it got a bit better. She had to sleep on her back for months because it hurt too much to sleep on her side and also there's the risk of the implant to move. Even after 8 months her breasts hurt sometimes. In most TV shows they don't show through how much pain the patients have to go so yeah don't underestimate that aspect. She didn't really have any complications though.

I think even with all the pain she'd do it again because now she feels like a woman and she's way more confident and she can finally wear all these beautiful tops.

 

[Eilan]

My friend got one like 8 months ago or so. Recovery takes a while and after the surgery she was in immense pain. After about 3 weeks it got a bit better. She had to sleep on her back for months because it hurt too much to sleep on her side and also there's the risk of the implant to move. Even after 8 months her breasts hurt sometimes. In most TV shows they don't show through how much pain the patients have to go so yeah don't underestimate that aspect. She didn't really have any complications though.

I think even with all the pain she'd do it again because now she feels like a woman and she's way more confident and she can finally wear all these beautiful tops.

The bolded part is really sad.

 

[LikeASnowflake]

The bolded part is really sad.

She literally had no boobs. Not even an A-cup.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I think your wife's desire is a healthy one, so I would support her in getting implants to suit her. What I do not support are attention whores who's only point in bigger boobs is "getting a man" or the attention they will receive from them.

I'll probably catch flack for that answer, it is what it is. There are healthy choices in this world and unhealthy choices, I only call 'em as I see 'em.

 

[JamieJ424]

If she was a hermit who lived with a pack of kangaroos in the Outback, she would not be saying 'I would feel so much more feminine if I had a solid B cup.'

She is doing it because she feels like she doesn't measure up to other women in that dept, and that is a slippery slope.

I say no. She would just be trading one set of problems for another.

J

 

[Paul_Chance]

I Say Go For It

It is an extremely common cosmetic surgery. Get a good doctor, board certified, with references, and relax. Nearly a quarter of a million women a year get cosmetic breast enhancement surgery a year. Don't go cheap. LOL - and don't take the advise of strangers on the internet. Including me.

 

[Vixandra]

She's talking about a reasonable move from an A to a full B right? If she's done with child bearing and has the means to do it, let her do it. If that's something she wants for herself, she's going to go after it one way or another. Just be clear you love her as she is and accept she wants to do this for herself.

Now if she wanted to go to a D or anything larger, I'd recommend caution. I know many women, some in your wife's size/weight range, that hate their large breasts. Back and neck pain from being large breasted shouldn't be overlooked. It can also make finding bras that fit well and support well a pain.

 

[bailadora]

The bolded part is really sad.

I had the same thought. How sad that someone's sense of self worth/womanhood is related to the amount of mammary tissue they do or do not have.

Personally, breast augmentation isn't something that I'd go for because I don't deal well with pain. So unless it's medically necessary, there's no way I'm going under the knife. But that's just me.

If you can/want to afford it and she understands all the possible risks, then ultimately I think it's her decision to make - being that it's her body and all.

 

[CutieMouse]

Before you start interviewing plastic surgeons, see if she'd be willing to have a proper [professional] bra fitting.

Gymnastics & cheer leading will give her a more inverted triangle torso, and more firmly developed pectorals, but the weight/height/measurements you listed don't match most true "36A" figures. I cannot even begin to count the number of women I've fit who thought they were an A (and all the emotional baggage that goes along with being "built like a boy"), only to discover they were anywhere between a C and an E.

If she still wants more volume, research it thoroughly before going forward. And plan to spend... The best augmentations I've seen tend to be $10,000 + surgeries.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I would never advocate anyone putting themselves into a position of financial burden for cosmetic surgery. However, if you have the financial means to do it and she is aware of the risks associated with surgery, and that she will have to go through it again down the track then I can't see why she shouldn't get it done if it s going to help her feel more confident and happy in her skin.

I used to be dead set against surgical enhancement, but as I have aged and look at my old broken face, I would be all for it if it didn't look so damned painful.

I agree about the financial part. My wife is a mortgage lender and when she checks finances, she will see a debt and when she asks about it, so many girls say, "Oh, those are my boobs." Nothing worse than putting tits on a credit card. Pay cash. That's an embarrassing repo...

 

[Somehowyou]

I have heard a saying that women do not dress for men they dress to impress other women. I think this is definitely true with implants. I believe woman feel that often some women feel that they have to have them in order to fit in. As a man, I think they look very nice but I don’t like the feel of a rock hard plastic ball. This “hard boob” is a result of capsular contracture. This is the result of scar tissue forming around the implant. I believe it is the result of the body is rejecting the implant. This is not rare and in time your wife’s breast could look good but feel like a rock.

I like implants but I think they are overdone in so many cases. It sounds like your wife could probably make a case to get them. Sounds like she would like to have a few more curves and a more feminine figure? This is one of several good reasons to get them IMHO. I can’t stand it when a young lady has nice perky natural little B’s or C’s and they insist on getting some big round plastic ball D or DD Cup size. They feel fake as hell and I much preferred their former perky and natural A, B, or C cups. But in your wife’s instance, this is not the case.

If you have a good reason to get them and you have the money you should select a board certified plastic surgeon with hospital privileges and a good reputation. Beware of the discount surgeon. It should cost around 10,000$ USD and you get what you pay for. Do not skimp on your elective surgery because no surgeon wants to inherit another surgeon’s mess. Get it done right the first time. Have consults with several different surgeons. They will show you examples of their work. All of them have financing available through the Dr’s office with various terms. However, for elective surgery it is best to save up and pay for the bulk of the charges with cash.

Good luck!

 

[ohjanesays]

As an intern, I had to upload maybe thousands of before and after implant photos. Honestly, I never thought the after photos looked better. They looked too "shelfy" and fake...which they are. As a female of the smaller variety, viewing these photos made me never want to get implants. And most guys I've talked to say they may look nice, but doesn't feel nice. Your wife isn't that small, as she's not a 30A or something. This might not be good advice as no female wants to gain weight, but your wife is already pretty thin. If she gained even a little weight, usually the weight goes to the boobs and butt first. For me, gaining some weight had me go up two sizes and cup. Which is what it sounds like what she wants. I think that's a lot cheaper than ~$10,000 and doing it naturally.

But at the end of the day, she decides what she wants to do with her body and how it makes her feel. I guess for me I've always preferred things natural, and the guys around me do as well so that's just my opinion. Hopefully if she decides to do it, the procedure goes well. It seems like doctors have it down to an art form now so there shouldn't be any complications.

 

[desertwifeNmom]

If your gonna go threw with it becareful on how big your thinking of going. I remember years ago before kids and I didn't have much. And I wished for more. WELL becareful of what you wish for.. 3 kids later and I HATE how big my boobs are. I'm a 42d all natural and it sucks to be this big.

 

[dollface007]

You sound like a wonderful husband, and while I'm on your side, it's her body. If it's financially feasible, going from and A to a B sounds reasonable.

Has she ever been on the pill? My breasts have grown several sizes "naturally" after taking birth control pills. If that's an option for her, she may want to try it before having major surgery. Every body is different, so who knows if that will work...

 

[subwannabe]

4 out of 5 of your misgivings aren't really a big deal. I say if it doesn't put you in the poor house then you ought to give her your blessings. The cost is really something you have to think about, especially if you are going to have to borrow money for it. If you decide to go through with it remind her that they are half yours.

 

[Primalex]

I had the same thought. How sad that someone's sense of self worth/womanhood is related to the amount of mammary tissue they do or do not have.

Well, we talk about this again when your mammary tissue had to be removed due to cancer. Then we'll talk about how you feel and what is sad and what is not sad.

 

[southern_gal]

I have a close friend that had augmentation and few years ago and to this day it has changed her life. I have known her since we were in grade school and she always felt like she was missing out because when some of us kinda over developed she kept her lean figure. Now, I'd gladly trade my curves for her body of a 22 year old any day. Point is she finally did what she has wanted to do for years and after trying forever to tell her how beautiful she is (because she is) I just supported her decision and I love seeing her finally happy with her body. The best part for her is that for those of us that filled out a little early, the rest of our bodies have caught up unfortunately but she still looks great. I guess that if it makes you feel better about yourself than do it.

 

[bailadora]

Well, we talk about this again when your mammary tissue had to be removed due to cancer. Then we'll talk about how you feel and what is sad and what is not sad.

*shrug*

We can talk about it now. Prior to having children, I had almost NO mammary tissue. At 28 years old, I could still wear a training bra. My sense of "womanhood" has never been tied to my breasts.

 

[LookngForFun]

I think your wife's desire is a healthy one, so I would support her in getting implants to suit her. What I do not support are attention whores who's only point in bigger boobs is "getting a man" or the attention they will receive from them.

I'll probably catch flack for that answer, it is what it is. There are healthy choices in this world and unhealthy choices, I only call 'em as I see 'em.

Well said actually. She's going for a B not a D.

I have the opposite problem. My breast size basically went from full to empty because I gained weight and then lost it. They're horrible and I hate them even though I find many guys that love playing with them. Personally, I hate them. I don't care if I had a boyfriend or a husband I still can't wait to have surgery to make them the way *I* want them. Someone else loving something I don't just means nothing to me. It's kind of like when I dyed my hair and didn't like it and other people said it looked good and I still had to dye it back to another color.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

she should do it.. you won't regret it

 

[njlauren]

I think if it makes someone feel better about themselves, if it isn't because someone else (hubby, friends, whatever) are pushing her, then why not? This reminds me of those who chide others because they make every attempt to appear younger looking, are trying hormone therapy and other things to try and keep young, and being told they should simply 'embrace becoming the wise Crone' and other stuff......The point being that is up to them...on a more severe scale, it reminds me of those who, in all sincerity, tell trans people if they feel they are a woman or man deep down, then embrace that but why do you need to actually live/present, can't accepting that be enough, that body image and such is just culturally made needs, that you can be a woman without a woman's body, etc, etc.....

People are complex and their needs are complex....but is someone feeling they would like to look more curvy any different then let's say African tribes where women elongate their necks or tribesman who sport intricate tattoos or the gal in the sports bar the other night with the fantastic arm sleeve tattoo? The point is about self expression and feeling good and confident, and those come from a lot of different sources. I the wife wanted it because she wanted to compete with some young thing at work with the D cup plastic wonders or wanted to look like a porn star or because 'other women are all doing it' or 'because it will get me a promotion at work' I would be more negative...but it sounds to me like the wife in question isn't extreme or going over the top, a B cup is not out there or showy, it sounds like she simply would feel better if she had more of a curve.

I would be careful about financing them, they are expensive and the plans the doctors offer are very high interest rates, it would be better if you could afford to pay for them outright. Be very careful in looking for a doctor, do your research, and avoid the places that advertise 'complete breast augmentation for ' (some ridiculously low number), they are bait and switches and usually do crappy work. Best is talk to people who have used doctors, look at ratings sites, see what people are saying. Couple of other things to decide is technique (through the nipple or under the armpits), that can make a difference (try not to use the ones who do it through an incision on the chest wall, the scars look like crap).

Other points:

-If they charge a 'consultation' fee, walk out the door,there is no reason for that at all, I did more then a few consults and never paid, and the ones who did were shysters.

-A lot of plastic surgeons have imaging software, that can show you what you will look like with different sizes, it is a nice tool to have (they scan a picture in of you, then show you how you would look).

-Saline versus silicon. You can get silicon again and it is worth considering. Saline has downsides, they can be sort of sloshy and friends who have done it say it doesn't always feel right......

-A lot of surgeons either have their own surgical facility or use outside ones, and IME they tend to be better than hospitals and end up costing less (in part, because hospitals do so much cost shifting onto paying patients), I found them to be a lot more comfortable and from what I hear, also less likely to get th kind of infections common in hospitals ....make sure the facility is certified, but it is an option to think about.

My take, if you have the finances and it will make her feel better about herself or otherwise make her happy, why not? Why should it be any different then a guy buying a midlife crisis car or boat or whatever?