Why Stephen Colbert...

[Katyusha]

Okay, for those of you who aren't University of Arizona fans, here's a tiny bit of background: our basketball team is currently under interim coach Russ Pennell following the sudden retirement of Lute Olson back in October. We haven't been doing particularly well under Olson for the past few years and we're not doing particularly well now.

I thought the following was funny anyway. Sarcastic? Perhaps, I can't tell. But funny nonetheless.

"Why Stephen Colbert Should Be Arizona's Next Head Basketball Coach"

Yes, THAT Stephen Colbert, nay, THE Stephen Colbert, of the world renowned Colbert Report, should be the next head basketball coach for the University of Arizona. Its no secret that U of A is in the middle of a transition, I don’t want to say rebuilding, because we still have Chase Budinger and Jordan Hill, but Arizona is going to need to reload, not rebuild and I feel that Stephen Colbert is the man for the job.

Does he have any basketball related credentials? I don’t know but that is not the point. Stephen does the impossible, and reloading the program with talent right away would be amazingly easy for him.

One of the top rules as far as recruiting goes is name recognition, players want to play for someone they have heard of, and who hasn’t seen the Colbert Report? Quite possibly the most influential program of this century AND last century and possibly the one before that.

Stephen is basically the biggest thing since Jesus. And who wouldn’t want to play basketball for Jesus?

I am also supremely confident that Stephen would be able to coach at a high level. He performs his brilliant program in front of a live studio audience, so that is almost exactly like coaching in the Pac-10!

Could you imagine the half time speeches? He could have a desk brought into the locker room and do his famous run and wave to the team as he enters the locker room, similar to when he leaves his reporting desk for the interview desk on his stellar program. I must admit I have tried to copy this maneuver, but I fall every time I try and emulate the genius of Stephen Colbert.

And let's all admit the obvious; Stephen looks phenomenal in a red tie. The color of tie a certain head coach should wear? I know Stephen hails from the great state of South Carolina, but I feel that Stephen would bring a certain “je ne sais quoi” to the town of Tucson and take the whole city to new heights, not to mention the basketball program.

So let's review why Stephen Colbert should, at the very least, be begged to take the position of mens head basketball coach at Arizona: the name recognition, the pizzazz, the ability to perform under pressure and of course the tie.

So as a wildcat alum, I would like to present my formal request to hire Stephen Colbert as the next U of A head mens basketball coach. Just think of the press conferences!

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/...should-be-arizonas-next-head-basketball-coach

 

[JagFarlane]

LMAO well he didn't quite make it to running for president, so why not?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

What is the Colbert Report? Who is Stephen Colbert? Why does anyone care?

 

[Katyusha]

What is the Colbert Report? Who is Stephen Colbert? Why does anyone care?

 

[Elianna]

Go Devils!

Oh. Sorry. Instinctive response to "Wildcat"

Love you Katy!

 

[DeeZire]

I think it's a great idea! Even though Tucson generally votes democratic, there is a sizable right wing contingent here, many of whom would take Colbert at face value, thinking he was a true conservative. I see this as the perfect compliment to the Obamazation of America - both sides coming together for a common purpose - to watch the tanned and shapley U of A cheerleaders bouncing up and down on the sidelines. (Does basketball have sidelines? And what is this game where they play with a ball made out of a basket? It sounds kind of gay to me.)

 

[Guest]

What is the Colbert Report? Who is Stephen Colbert? Why does anyone care?

Oh, now.

He follows Jon Stewart's The Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Political satire. Disrespectful, witty and funny as hell. (Both of 'em.)

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Oh. Television.

 

[DeeZire]

What is the Colbert Report? Who is Stephen Colbert? Why does anyone care?

Stephen Colbert is a faux-conservative on a faux-news commentary show. It's a good way to annoy real conservatives, who, apparently, have no sense of humor whatsoever. Using this same tactic, I have managed to get myself put on several ignore lists here at LIT.

 

[Guest]

Oh. Television.

You don't have to watch TV to catch these folks.

http://www.colbertnation.com/home

http://www.thedailyshow.com/