Why is lack of experience such a bad thing?

[PacificBlue]

I'm seeing a running trend in another trend about being sexually inexperienced being a bad thing.

Have sex. Don't have sex, it will kill you. Have sex. Don't have sex, it makes you a bad girl. Have sex. Don't have sex, it means your a slut. Have sex. Don't have sex, you could get pregnant. Have sex. Don't have sex, guys don't marry girls who have been with a lot of men.

It's 11:00am and I want a beer. I don't even drink!!! aarrrgghghh. Ok, I think I'm over myself now.

Someone explain please... *sitting, ready to listen*

 

[Cath!]

Inexperience is only a technical term.
If you know what you like and how to please yourself, then it makes NO difference whatsoever how many partners you have had...you just need to be comfortable enough to share that knowledge about yourself with your partner.
You also need to be willing to listen to their knowledge about themselves.

 

[lobito]

inexperience in NOT a bad thing. It's all in how the other person feels about it. If YOU as a person are uncomfortable about being inexperienced, then the other person may be uncomfortable with you as well.

It's all about confidence when an inexperienced person is with an experienced person. That may sound like bullshit, but it's the truth, none the less.

You may find an experienced person who likes the lesser experienced ones, because he or she can be a teacher. A teacher of all things sexual may get off on the fact that they are "breaking in" a person. They may be willing to take things slower in some cases too, because they LOVE you. Maybe that's the bottom line, as long as they love you, it won't matter how much experience you have. It certainly shouldn't anyway, if it does matter, then they aren't the right person for you.

 

[Guest]

Vive ala Virgins!

 

[perks]

not a bad thing, and ultra-safe

just not what I want in my life right now....I want someone that can imagine and take me where I haven't been and likewise. I want to be able to share.

 

[Guest]

I'd rather be loose as a White House Aid instead of as pure as unplowed snow in Buffalo.

Or whereever they have all of that snow.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Inexperience in not a bad thing, we all have to start some where. The person who knows their way around should be more than willing to show the way and not rush the other person into things untill they are comfortable with what ever.

 

[alltherage]

So long as the choices you make are you own and noone gets hurt i would say do as you please. Often, experience includes bad experience and a trail of hurt people and worse a damaged self image.

If you are free from guilt and want experience without the worry of committing yourself to a relationship it is not hard to find.

Ultimately its what you feel that counts. If you are rejected because of a lack of experience you have encountered a person not worth being with. No great loss.

 

[cymbidia]

Ah PB, if it was anything i said that even dented your feelings a little on this matter, i am sorry. I meant no disrespect to anyone in my posts over yonder and never for a moment thought the sentiments i posted, personal stuff only, would be offensive to anyone.

For me, in my life, for what i have to give and what i need from another person, with regard to the sort of sexuality in which i am most interested in sharing - it all requires someone with experiences and a past much like mine.

I'm way out on the end of the limb in terms of who i am sexually.
I'm way past the time of trial and error fucking, to put it crudely.
I don't want to play "do you like a little fingering?" games with anyone.
I will not teach someone how to Dom/me.

I can only find what i must have from an experienced partner.
It's good to know what one needs, isn't it?

Again, my apologies if my directness offended in other threads.

 

[alltherage]

How can saying what you want offend people. Damn, confused again.

 

[PacificBlue]

Ah PB, if it was anything i said that even dented your feelings a little on this matter, i am sorry. I meant no disrespect to anyone in my posts over yonder and never for a moment thought the sentiments i posted, personal stuff only, would be offensive to anyone.

I can only find what i must have from an experienced partner.
It's good to know what one needs, isn't it?

I'm overly sensitive to this matter. It wasn't you. Yes, I think it is good to know what one needs and be confident in self to communicate that to another.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

It's no crime to be inexperienced...

...but it is a crime, IMHO, to be unimaginative and without a sense of play.

People often seem to confuse more with better, thinking that the one who fucks the most wins, or something. A hamster in a cage runs more in a single day than I ever will in my lifetime, but the hamster's never going to get anywhere....

My recommendation: don't fuck anyone who can't make you laugh.

~H~

 

[Mellon Collie]

I'm seeing a running trend in another trend about being sexually inexperienced being a bad thing.

I'm in a lot of trouble then.

Ok so here is my 2 cents; I think this issue is a double standard. I've found that guys don't mind and some even prefer a girl who has little experience. This is not to say that men without experience are not desired. I'm sure some women salivate at the thought of a guy who's a virgin, I mean everyone has their kink. I've just found that virginal woman are not I guess looked down upon. Ok, bad choice of words but you get my point.

I think women tend to look for a man with experience while men on the other hand just look for someone that's within their standards. I mean virgin or not, it's a piece of ass right?

 

[perks]

Re: It's no crime to be inexperienced...

My recommendation: don't fuck anyone who can't make you laugh.

~H~

that's such a good quote sugah.....great advice

 

[Angelus]

Inexperience is not a bad thing..... hell, if everyone started by being experienced then we would be experts by now.

I mean it is a somewhat good thing to have some inexperience at some things because if you are with a partner who is experienced then he or she can take you to places you never thought possible. And if you are both a little inexperienced then it is pretty much like- experimenting (it's the only word I could think of) where as you do things to see what the two of you like and then go from there.....

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Re: Re: Why is lack of experience such a bad thing?

:.

Ok so here is my 2 cents; I think this issue is a double standard. I've found that guys don't mind and some even prefer a girl who has little experience.

[[[cut]]]

I think women tend to look for a man with experience while men on the other hand just look for someone that's within their standards. I mean virgin or not, it's a piece of ass right?



Double standard? Certainly. It's a patriarchal world (and welcome to it). But to me it isn't the level of 'experience' a woman has that matters one whit (see my earlier post). I've had younger, inexperienced lovers who were every bit as imaginative and playful as I could want--and 'experienced' lovers who were ... not.

And gawd help you MC if you've only been with boys who treat you like a piece of ass.... Patriarchy or not, we're not all like that. I promise.

~H~

 

[KinkyKandy]

Being inexperienced isnt always a bad thing. Many guys like inexperienced girls, especially if they are virgins. From what many of my guy friends say, one of the most erotic things they have ever done is take a girls virginity.

 

[IA951]

does it really matter?

for fuck sake
does it really fucking matter?
All these fucking questions
this is why I just threw the whole goddamn thing in the trash and fucking walked away...never looked back.
Sex....bah....non-fucking-sense.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

as I've said in the other thread about this.....

who cares about experiance. (wow now that I think about it there were quite a few threads about this today lol)

Well if sex were that importand I'd be dead already. So who cares about how experianced or inexperianced someone is. everyone lives a different life don't they?

 

[Never]

Of course experience matters, ever try playing tennis with someone who's never picked up a racket in their life? It's the same concept. For everything 'new' there's a trial and error stage, a learning stage that can be painfully long and everything falls on the more 'experience' partner.

Does anyone here think that a virgin can hop into be and be confident in themselves, no exactly what they need to please them, be able to communicate that effectively, and get their partner off in the meanwhile?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Of course experience matters, ever try playing tennis with someone who's never picked up a racket in their life?

Does anyone here think that a virgin can hop into be and be confident in themselves, no exactly what they need to please them, be able to communicate that effectively, and get their partner off in the meanwhile?

Never, if you are there... that will do me no matter what.

If I love em, I prefer for em to have no experience... I kinda like teaching em, its fun.

Course if I ever went out looking for a fuck I'd want them to be good at it.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Does anyone here think that a virgin can hop into be and be confident in themselves, no exactly what they need to please them, be able to communicate that effectively, and get their partner off in the meanwhile?

Fully? hell not I don't think so.
but I still don't think experiance is 'that' important.

If the other person loves you they will be patient and wait till your ready and help you with that confidence. Eather that or they are just looking for a one night thing, in which case I don't give a crap they can leave the bed, and i'll stay inexperianced.

 

[p_p_man]

I find it hard enough to relate to...

inexperience people in any field let alone dealing with their immature and sexual angst as well...

Inxperienced? My advice is pass your test as soon as you can, bring yourself up to speed in the shortest possible time and enter the real world of full and satisfying sexual pleasure.

Who wants to fumble when you can cruise...

 

[Angelus]

Yeah.... but what if you are the experienced one and you are with someone who is relatively inexperienced?

It is a damn good thing sometimes because then you can show them things that you have learnt along the way and do they love you for that!

 

[Guest]

Experienced or Not...that is the question...

If I were younger I would say that it doesn't matter, that the lack of experience would be so much fun. Trying to unleash the hidden lust in a person is such a powerful thing.

But, I'm not a young girl anymore - I'm a mature woman...I want experience. Do I feel shallow for saying such a thing? Yes, I most certainly do in that regard. But I think it's because I've lead a type of sheltered life. There are so many things I want to experience - to be - to live. The only way I can see that happening is with a man who is experienced enough to let my inexperience slowly peel away. There is so much inside me wanting to break through. I just need to find the person who can release those urges - a man who is confident enough with his experience to share it with me.