Why is it so hard to talk to the person we love?

[TwoHeadsBald]

Again why is so hard to talk to the one we love?

 

[Noor]

Fear that they won’t accept you for who you are.
In what kind of situation are you having this issue?
Does this person love you?

 

[Debbie]

Depending on the topic I think it can be a lack of confidence or finding it hard to communicate the words without causing offence or possible hurting our loved ones feelings.

 

[Tigersman]

I think it's because men are afraid of appearing weak or unmanly. The men may try to change the subject or just walk away. Rather than sit down and talk with my girlfriend of a year, I broke up with her based on what little she told me about her past breakups. She didn't even try to save our relationship which led me to believe she planned on breaking up with me. I had promised her before the breakup I would do some repairs to her house. Every time she saw me when I was getting ready to leave for the day, she tried her best to dig into me.

 

[12oclocktales]

Fear of offending a loved one.
Fear of appearing stupid/misconstrued/lowly in eyes of a loved one.
Fear that questioning/wondering/asking becomes defensive trench warfare.
Fear of concern X becoming concerns A, B, C, etc. as well; call this the “can of worms” fear.
Forgetting that keeping silent rarely erases problems, just compounds them.

 

[Saint_Ann]

I don't have that problem.

 

[Saint_Ann]

Because you're afraid of what the answer might be or where the conversation may go?.....

Who me?

 

[GoodBoy4Ever]

When you and your partner have different needs, or even different interests, it can feel like every conversation is pushing yourself onto your partner. My wife says she doesn't have any issue about what I have told her, yet I am always worried the next thing will be too much.

Then you find yourself talking openly with people on here or elsewhere and can't figure out shy you can't talk to that special person that way. Risk. There is no risk in a stranger, you have very little to lose and rejection is easy to cope with. On the other hand, with your significant other you feel like youf

 

[Buffy47]

One of the biggest reasons relationships fail is lack of honest conversation. Partly because we know our loved ones mind and so decide no point talking about a topic, or fear of the person we love rejecting your comments.

We all change our desires through life we all know people can start liking 9r disliking things that was not something in past yet we seem to question why someone now likes a new topic. It's that fear of rejection.

 

[Twistedkink]

Because they real don’t want to know who we in our deepest darkest corners. They could never embrace that part of us, or at least that’s my experience. Every time I’ve tried to go there I get shut down before the conversation ever gets serious, showing no interest in either sharing or wanting to know the most intimate parts of who I really am, let alone admit their deepest secrets and desires. Bottom line she could never handle what I would have to tell her, no matter how good a place it comes from. And this problem I believe is from getting married based on more romantic ideas of what marriage is and not more discovery before marriage. I’m older, so imagine this is less an issue with younger people, but I’m sure many still experience this.

 

[rthnck]

Because they real don’t want to know who we in our deepest darkest corners. They could never embrace that part of us, or at least that’s my experience. Every time I’ve tried to go there I get shut down before the conversation ever gets serious, showing no interest in either sharing or wanting to know the most intimate parts of who I really am, let alone admit their deepest secrets and desires. Bottom line she could never handle what I would have to tell her, no matter how good a place it comes from. And this problem I believe is from getting married based on more romantic ideas of what marriage is and not more discovery before marriage. I’m older, so imagine this is less an issue with younger people, but I’m sure many still experience this.

We can communicate well about almost everything but sex. She's embarrassed that she likes certain things and doesn't think she should be that person. WTF. I have the urge to explore many, many facets of sex and she's happy with a little oral and some PIV. So as a hypersexual communicating with a shy vanilla partner, the gap is pretty wide and there are things I know are way outside her boundaries that would shock and dismay her. Doesn't seem to be an upside to airing that type of laundry so it stays hidden. It's probably the most difficult part of our relationship. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[ZfrkS62]

We can communicate well about almost everything but sex. She's embarrassed that she likes certain things and doesn't think she should be that person. WTF. I have the urge to explore many, many facets of sex and she's happy with a little oral and some PIV. So as a hypersexual communicating with a shy vanilla partner, the gap is pretty wide and there are things I know are way outside her boundaries that would shock and dismay her. Doesn't seem to be an upside to airing that type of laundry so it stays hidden. It's probably the most difficult part of our relationship. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Did I write this? It sounds like I wrote this..

I get a glimpse of a dirtier mind every once in awhile when her hormones have spun her up, typically on her period and then I can talk a little more freely in bed, but that lasts two days, max, and maybe she'll remember the blow job she teased, but I still can't tell her that she's correct in thinking I would happily lick or finger her ass.

She didn't seem remotely interested in my pegging joke a couple of weeks ago, and her idea of bondage is being held down.

Sadly a lot of my curiosities now weren't on my radar, or didn't seem appealing 20 years ago when we started dating so to bring them up now would be a shock to the system, so to speak, since relationships and people tend to change so gradually, introducing more kinks than positions into the bedroom could raise questions as to who they are really married to. At least going from make to female. I think of the women brought up some of these ideas, we'd happily strap ourselves to the bed.

 

[Sct73]

I will say, as far as my experience, if I could have been open with my wife there wouldn’t have never been any cheering, just some hot group activities

 

[SissySalina]

If you are friends before becoming involved it is much better.
You tell your friends a lot you do not discuss with your lover.

This sissy's opinion.

 

[Jasmine12345]

 

[Tweedledude]

I once read a article on the nature of relationships. Great article however very hard to achieve. It makes the point that partners are each other's friends confidants even psychiatrist partners. No topic should be taboo in terms of being able to discuss and all feelings and emotions should be able to be shared without fear of reprisal. Like i said great article most relationships mine included has been unable to obtain that kind of openess. People bring ideas and topics into a relationship that are just taboo to them to the point they will not discuss. Growth in that kind of environment gets stiffeled and the whole relationship suffers. And suffer it does.

 

[cdstefi]

Again why is so hard to talk to the one we love?

It isn't, or shouldn't be, if it's love. Love isn't just having the horn 24/7 (nice if it coincides though), it's an understanding and acceptance of the things both have in common but also those that separate them, and loving each other anyways.

I know it sounds idealistic, but just my 2c from a couple of decently long relationships.

 

[Tweedledude]

It isn't, or shouldn't be, if it's love. Love isn't just having the horn 24/7 (nice if it coincides though), it's an understanding and acceptance of the things both have in common but also those that separate them, and loving each other anyways.

I know it sounds idealistic, but just my 2c from a couple of decently long relationships.

I agree but I've seen in my situation and others where people put love in a box. They don't allow for their definition of live to grow beyond the walls of that box. Stifle love stifle the relationship stifle life and living.

 

[Tweedledude]

Humor helps