Why I do not enjoy it???

[freddyandeddy]

Funny, my wife has been really trying to hone her oral skills lately; interesting that you mentioned this. Anyway...

What if your former guy was wonderful in EVERY other way EXCEPT that he preferred porn/masturbation to sexual intercourse with you - would this be sufficient to keep you happy and committed long term?

 

[DarkMuse]

See, the thing with the porn is it made me feel bad about myself. Why? I can't compete with those women. HUGE breasts, skinny otherwise, blonde, beautiful...

I'm "cute" (apparently), but not stunning. I always felt less attractive because of him preferring porn. I always felt he wanted THAT kind of woman, but settled for me.

I guess I lucked out, my current boyfriend has no use for porn (and, bad me, I checked his apartment thoroughly when we first started going out--he went to a meeting about a stag and doe for his friend, and I snooped--and nope, no porn!). Very little use for sex, but when we DO have it (maybe once a week, or once every two weeks) it's very satisfying. We MAKE LOVE...(and yeah..I'm such a chick--I usually end up crying over how wonderful it is... I'm such a loser).

Anyhow...IF my ex was wonderful in everyway, and still preferred porn over me, I don't think I could, just because I feel it is a slam against the way I look, and how good I am.

Oh, and if your wife wants tips on oral, PM me...'kay? I'm sure I might be of use.

 

[freddyandeddy]

OK, remove the porn from the equation. What if he preferred masturbation (let's say he fantasizes to get off) to sexual intercourse with you, but he's perfect in every other way? Is this acceptable over the long term?

Full disclosure: my wife and I LOVE watching porn together.

 

[DarkMuse]

I don't think it would bother me, then. Doesn't bother me if my boyfriend does it (and he only told me about it once, but it didn't bother me, and it doesn't bother me to think he does).

Porn, for me, is NOT a turn on, at all. It's silly, horribly scripted, and full of really bad fake moaning. Thanks, but no thanks. I enjoy some "erotic" photography, but don't get turned on by it. I prefer the actual act. If a couple enjoys it together--that's their choice and perogative, but it's not something I enjoy (and I'm glad I found a guy who mirrors this thought). I was surrounded by it (the ex had at least 5 plastic storage boxes FULL of porn mags and movies, plus a PC hard drive full of pics and movies, and a lap top hard drive full of pics and movies), and never enjoyed it.

Masturbation CAN be a form of enjoyment for BOTH in a couple (if you are into the watching/being watched). But no, porn is not in the equation for me.

 

[TxBelle]

How about erotic stories (my weakness)?
Would that alter the "porn" issue?

 

[freddyandeddy]

Now, remember, I'm not talking about the fact he does it (what man doesn't?). I'm talking about him openly PREFERRING masturbation to sex with you. What do you say to that?

As for porn, different stokes for, uh, you get the idea.

 

[DarkMuse]

It probably wouldn't bother me, as long as I get sex once in a while to appease my needs (it's all about give and take).

As for erotic stories...depends on how well it's written. Some can do a bit for me, others not. And it's not really an issue, now that I'm no longer with the ex. I'm with a fabulous man, who doesn't have a taste for porn either.

I'm rather a tangible kind of person, I prefer touching, tasting, smelling to reading or looking. As you said, different strokes for different folks.

I've tried pretty much EVERYTHING in the sex area--except for threesomes and such. Bondage, anal, mutual masterbation, etc. etc. etc. (even did "monkey see, monkey do" to porn movies), and the sex I have now (fairly "vanilla" to most standards) is much more satisfying.

Man, I'm glad to have found my boyfriend.

 

[freddyandeddy]

Try the two Sweet Erotica books, edited by Violet Blue (we sell lots of them on our website). Very hot, although you can probably find stuff just as hot among the stories here.

 

[goldenboar]

Hi All....
Thanks for all the good suggestion. Last week we have tried again and switch the attention to try and feel our partner body using our 'tool'.
AFter pumping my gf from every imaginable position, she mentioned some position which she feel a bit sensation, and I also start to explore which position that I can enjoy better...
This exploration at least can start to make a tingling sensation on my 'little brother' but not enough to make me or my gf to reach the 'big O'. For that one, we still need to come back to our favourite bj/hj.
The fasting seem to work a bit and give some feeling at least. It seems I need to familiarise myself with the proper intercourse way, and reduce the number of masturbation...
Rgds
Goldenboar

 

[catsr2wild]

Hi All....
Thanks for all the good suggestion. Last week we have tried again and switch the attention to try and feel our partner body using our 'tool'.
AFter pumping my gf from every imaginable position, she mentioned some position which she feel a bit sensation, and I also start to explore which position that I can enjoy better...
This exploration at least can start to make a tingling sensation on my 'little brother' but not enough to make me or my gf to reach the 'big O'. For that one, we still need to come back to our favourite bj/hj.
The fasting seem to work a bit and give some feeling at least. It seems I need to familiarise myself with the proper intercourse way, and reduce the number of masturbation...
Rgds
Goldenboar

Miracles don't always happen overnight, you've got a great beginning. Don't get discouraged.

 

[SlickTony]

I am a tad uneasy with all this yow and ki-yi about the proper way to enjoy sex. Y'all two were both getting off, weren't you? I can understand that you'd want intromission to be more fun if you were actively trying to conceive, but it is also a little reminiscent of women being convinced for years and years that they were not having the right kind of orgasm just because it is a whole hell of a lot easier to come from clitoral stimulation than it is from ye olde plug in socket. Keep on experimenting with the angles, by all means, but it is also perfectly workable to have someone, you or her, stroke her clit while you're pumping away. It might also be possible to have her administer a little prostatic massage--it's been my observation that this is quite often enough to push a guy over the edge.