Why do you ask for a pic?

[Kailey_86]

Why do you...particularly men..ask for a pic right off the bat in an online conversation?

Is it because you want to know if the person is hot enough for you to have sex with?
Is it that you just want to know if you would be physically attracted to the person in general?
Is it because you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are?
Is it because you just want to have a face to go along with the words?
Something else?
What is it?

I'm just curious.

 

[Yang4yin]

I don't ask for a pic right away, however, when I do ask for one after several exchanges or email or IM sessions, it's initially because I want to have a face to go along with the words, and later, I want to know if I would be physically attracted to the person in general.

 

[catalina_francisco]

When I was looking I did not ask for a pic and did not offer mine until I had been talking to someone for awhile (weeks/months, not minutes/hours). A pic helped to put a face to the words, nothing more.

Catalina

 

[FurryFury]

My take on it is that guys feel entitled to whatever they want, period. We grow them that way in this society.

They are very visual, so they like pictures.

They ask because they hope and in some cases expect, to get what they want.

Surprisingly, it works just often enough to reinforce the behavior.

Please note, the female only has to say no and NOT send a picture if she doesn't wish to.

Fury

 

[Yang4yin]

My take on it is that guys feel entitled to whatever they want, period. We grow them that way in this society.

There are some of us who don't think that way. A few rotten apples can spoil the barrel.

Please note, the female only has to say no and NOT send a picture if she doesn't wish to.

Fury

That's very true!

 

[VoteForMe]

Why do you...particularly men..ask for a pic right off the bat in an online conversation?

Is it because you want to know if the person is hot enough for you to have sex with?
Is it that you just want to know if you would be physically attracted to the person in general?
Is it because you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are?
Is it because you just want to have a face to go along with the words?
Something else?
What is it?

I'm just curious.

If I tell you, will you show me your tits?

 

[Kajira Callista]

They wanna make sure you are a girl.

 

[Tzara]

Why do you...particularly men..ask for a pic right off the bat in an online conversation?

Well, I shouldn't perhaps answer this, as I've never asked anyone for a picture.

But my guess is that we men aren't very imaginative.

 

[tanyachrs]

It's irritating, isn't it? I've told guys there's no way I'm meeting them (they're married, across the country, whatever) and they still keep asking. Don't send one. Let them stew.

 

[CutieMouse]

When I had my IM contact information, and image of myself up as an avatar, I'd get contacted by gentlemen from Lit, who would ask for a picture.

I'd explain, that they need only sneak a peek at my avatar, if they wished to see my face.

... 9 times out of 10, the response was "Oh. What's your Lit nick?"

(For those following along at home- this is not a good way to make a positive first impression. )

 

[FurryFury]

When I had my IM contact information, and image of myself up as an avatar, I'd get contacted by gentlemen from Lit, who would ask for a picture.

I'd explain, that they need only sneak a peek at my avatar, if they wished to see my face.

... 9 times out of 10, the response was "Oh. What's your Lit nick?"

(For those following along at home- this is not a good way to make a positive first impression. )

LMFAO! That's so online guy-ish!

Fury

 

[BeachGurl2]

Thanks for this thread. I've been wondering exactly the same thing for a couple of weeks now. And had experience with it lately that has left me feeling like online dating is a total and complete waste of time.

I won't send a pic unless I've been talking with someone for a little while. And it depends on how much information has been exchanged as to how long I wait to send one. I also won't send one if I haven't received one.

The thing that is interesting/frustrating about the whole online dating thing is that sometimes when you send a pic, they compliment you and continue chatting and things are good. But other times, you send a pic and never hear back from them again. I'm not hideous or unattractive, although I'm no beauty either. I call myself average. The funny thing is that the ones who disappear are the ones who are usually pretty average themselves. I'm guessing they think Angelina Jolie will be emailing them soon. And if I were expecting Angelina to email me, I'd probably be rude to the average girl, too.

 

[FurryFury]

Can you say shallow? Also, the phrase, short attention span comes to mind.

Just remember there are quite a few gems out there too. They may be harder to find. Partly IMO because you have to open yourself up to them. Not by showing a picture, mind you, but by not falling for the same sort of shallow traps that society has taught us to believe in when looking for a dick, I mean dude. Yeah, that's what I meant, dude.

*smiles sweetly*

Fury

 

[BeachGurl2]

Can you say shallow? Also, the phrase, short attention span comes to mind.

Just remember there are quite a few gems out there too. They may be harder to find. Partly IMO because you have to open yourself up to them. Not by showing a picture, mind you, but by not falling for the same sort of shallow traps that society has taught us to believe in when looking for a dick, I mean dude. Yeah, that's what I meant, dude.

*smiles sweetly*

Fury

Now that made me laugh.

Shallow, short attention span. I'll go along with that. Plus a few other words I utter on occasion . . .

 

[angel_girl]

I wonder this too. It creeps me out when the first contact is all about trying to get a picture. I automatically assume "pervert" and check out.

 

[O'Mac]

Why do you...particularly men..ask for a pic right off the bat in an online conversation?

Is it because you want to know if the person is hot enough for you to have sex with?
Is it that you just want to know if you would be physically attracted to the person in general?
Is it because you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are?
Is it because you just want to have a face to go along with the words?
Something else?
What is it?

I'm just curious.

I think the first question pretty much sums it all up, unfortunately.

 

[Wolk]

Why do you...particularly men..ask for a pic right off the bat in an online conversation?

Is it because you want to know if the person is hot enough for you to have sex with?
Is it that you just want to know if you would be physically attracted to the person in general?
Is it because you want to make sure that the person you are talking to is who they say they are?
Is it because you just want to have a face to go along with the words?
Something else?
What is it?

I'm just curious.

Kailey_86,

The answer depends on the person. I usually don't ask for a picture right away, nor am I willing to provide my own right away. The main reason for having a picture is because it makes the connection closer, makes it feel like I know the person better. The same words coming from an older man and from a girl my age sound very different. So, mostly to put a face with the words. Doesn't necessarily matter what that face looks like. Even if it is a person I wouldn't automatically follow with my eyes as I walk down the street, I still want to see who I am talking to.

Of course, I want to know if I would be physically attracted to the girl as well, but that's not the main reason, and certainly I wouldn't stop talking to someone because I wasn't attracted to them. If it was the case, I wouldn't be talking to men at all, since I'm straight.

FurryFury and some others,

Those are some discouraging words to hear. The world is full of bad people - men and women, but that doesn't mean there aren't true knights and ladies out there. They just need to be discovered, like gems in piles of coarse rock and dirt.

Here's to each of us finding a brightly sparking one!

 

[Marquis]

No pic, no response.

 

[Aeroil]

See, I'm vain and egotistical, so I usually show them my pic at the first oppurtunity. Being told I'm cute causes grinning and makes me happy all day ^_^

No pic, no response.

http://members.shaw.ca/aeroil/pics/q4.jpg


lawl

 

[SpectreT]

They wanna make sure you are a girl.

Ah, teh Int3rn3tZ. "Where men are men, women are men, and fourteen year old girls are FBI agents." I don't recall what forum I first read that on, but it made me laugh so hard, my face and belly hurt.

Oddly enough, all of those reasons for asking for a pic are possibilities. Personally, I don't do much of the online conversing thing, at least not looking to hook up. As you can see, over to the left, I don't have a problem putting my face out here and other places, even attached to thoughts and ideas that could cause me trouble in the real world. I don't pester for pics, as I've seen so much negativity associated with this practice that even though I think it's more open and honest to show your face (and frankly, it's a recognition that no true anonymity exists on the internet without some extensive dodges - which are also traceable), I understand just how creepy this seems to women in general. And it's not like the negativity is unearned. The assclown to decent guy ratio appears smaller on the net than it is even in real life.

 

[Aeroil]

Ah, teh Int3rn3tZ. "Where men are men, women are men, and fourteen year old girls are FBI agents." I don't recall what forum I first read that on, but it made me laugh so hard, my face and belly hurt.

Oddly enough, all of those reasons for asking for a pic are possibilities. Personally, I don't do much of the online conversing thing, at least not looking to hook up. As you can see, over to the left, I don't have a problem putting my face out here and other places, even attached to thoughts and ideas that could cause me trouble in the real world. I don't pester for pics, as I've seen so much negativity associated with this practice that even though I think it's more open and honest to show your face (and frankly, it's a recognition that no true anonymity exists on the internet without some extensive dodges - which are also traceable), I understand just how creepy this seems to women in general. And it's not like the negativity is unearned. The assclown to decent guy ratio appears smaller on the net than it is even in real life.

"It is rumored there may be small pockets of useful information hidden deep in the bowels of the Internets. This has been proven to be false." - Encyclopedia Dramatica.

 

[jadefirefly]

It's been a long time since anyone's asked me for my pic -- then again, I very rarely actually chat with people from here.

What I do remember, though, was discovering years ago how to make men from AIM chat rooms go away. I'd be perfectly honest with them when they asked what I looked like.

I don't know why 5'5", 175 lbs and brown hair made them stop talking to me entirely... d'you think it could have been that I wasn't tall,blonde, and anorexic?

Naaaaaw... men would never be so shallow... I'm sure of it!


(It worked. Repeatedly. )

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, interesting thing I have noticed while browsing profiles of various female subs is THEY state in their ad that if you don't have your facial pic in your profile, or send them one with your first email, that will not even bother answering....of course, these same females who are so demanding themselves never have a facial pic of themselves in THEIR profile, and many do not see why they should send one in an email either....seems a little double standard if you ask me, and rather superficial and shallow.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

I'm probably a bad example cause I met my love thru the pic forum.

but after chatting with him for a while (like a month or so) I was curious as to what he looked like. I guess part of it was I wanted to know if I'd be as atracted to his looks as I was his personality. And I was. but another part of it was that I would have very yummy dreams of the headless guy (I asumed they were of him) so I wanted a face to complete the dream. I got cam insted of a pic, so that was even better. But I still ask for pics of him just because I want to be able to look at him anytime I want to. I haven't been given many, but I enjoy the ones I have.

There was one time I was a little afraid because I didn't ask for a pic. I had agreed to meet up with some one, again some one I met thru my pics, and after hanging up the phone realized I had no clue what they looked like. I also had no number for him, he'd always called me. so there I sat waiting for some one to show up who I wasn't sure what he looked like. Okay, so I know all of this sends up all kinds of red flags, but I admit I was being stupid. Anyway, I was relieved when this guy did come up to me. He was very nice looking, and almost perfectly matched what I had imagined so things worked out. But I'll never forget how afraid I was that I wouldn't be atracted to him and well honestly sex was pretty much an understood given. Sure I could have backed out if it just wasn't there for me, but that just seemed so wrong. *giggles*

 

[FurryFury]

Now that made me laugh.

Shallow, short attention span. I'll go along with that. Plus a few other words I utter on occasion . . .

Yay! My work is done here!

I wonder this too. It creeps me out when the first contact is all about trying to get a picture. I automatically assume "pervert" and check out.

Good, and from my experience mostly accurate, call! Trust those instincts!

<snip>FurryFury and some others,

Those are some discouraging words to hear. The world is full of bad people - men and women, but that doesn't mean there aren't true knights and ladies out there. They just need to be discovered, like gems in piles of coarse rock and dirt.

Here's to each of us finding a brightly sparking one!

Wolk,

We've written together. So we sort of know one another a little bit. Therefore you should already know that I LOVE men. I have been very lucky and certainly found some gems!

However, that doesn't mean I can't mention the nearly overwhelming rain of toads, that fell more easily and first into my Internet explorations, now does it? Particularly when others are finding it pretty green and slimy out there?

For either kind the short attention span usually rules however, be they male or female for that matter. People are people, ya gotta love em, even when they make you want to strangle them. Ya know?

Ah, teh Int3rn3tZ. "Where men are men, women are men, and fourteen year old girls are FBI agents." I don't recall what forum I first read that on, but it made me laugh so hard, my face and belly hurt.

Oddly enough, all of those reasons for asking for a pic are possibilities. Personally, I don't do much of the online conversing thing, at least not looking to hook up. As you can see, over to the left, I don't have a problem putting my face out here and other places, even attached to thoughts and ideas that could cause me trouble in the real world. I don't pester for pics, as I've seen so much negativity associated with this practice that even though I think it's more open and honest to show your face (and frankly, it's a recognition that no true anonymity exists on the internet without some extensive dodges - which are also traceable), I understand just how creepy this seems to women in general. And it's not like the negativity is unearned. The assclown to decent guy ratio appears smaller on the net than it is even in real life.

LMAO! That is so very true! I've even had a "14 year old girl" contact me and whine about how no one will talk to her about sex n stuff because she is honest about her age. Riiiiight.

I think the reason the assclown (love that term btw, though I'm way into asssex) to decent guy ratio appears smaller is because of being somewhat disconnected from societal norms on the web. Even without the supposed anonymity, I noticed when one of our buds set up a group for our gamer friends to use, they got viscous in ways they never would have face to face. It was really unpleasant and revealing IMO.

Fury