Why Caddlebear? Why?!

[asian_princess]

For one second I misread cont-Essa then * gives asian_princess a quick huggle attack back*

*giggles*

well between my accent and yours...we could come up with all sorts of things

*gives Essa a basket of jewwy babies shaped like little marquis de kyky's*

 

[Essa]

*giggles*

well between my accent and yours...we could come up with all sorts of things

*gives Essa a basket of jewwy babies shaped like little marquise de kyky's*

We sure could

*accepts the jewwy babies and bites off kyky's willy*

 

[asian_princess]

We sure could

*accepts the jewwy babies and bites off kyky's willy*

*giggles* guess you heard about the growing regenerating willies... it'll be lifesize before you know it!!

OH did i mention...some of those jewwies... are voodoo jewwy babies...

hmmms...*hears something outside the thread* did that sound like KyKy to you?

 

[Essa]

*giggles* guess you heard about the growing regenerating willies... it'll be lifesize before you know it!!

OH did i mention...some of those jewwies... are voodoo jewwy babies...

hmmms...*hears something outside the thread* did that sound like KyKy to you?

Woohoo a never ending supply of life sized willys, I'll be in heaven

Voodoo jewwy babies you say? *starts sticking pins in, right between the legs*

Not to worry, I've shut the door, we'll just pretend no one's home

 

[asian_princess]

Woohoo a never ending supply of life sized willys, I'll be in heaven

Voodoo jewwy babies you say? *starts sticking pins in, right between the legs*

Not to worry, I've shut the door, we'll just pretend no one's home

Caddlebear is going to be so mad the word "willy" made it into his thread ...

*cackles*

*squeals* ahhh!! how did a voodoo jewwy baby of me get in there!!!

*burrows around for a Cont-Essa one and takes it out and pats its bum*

 

[Essa]

Caddlebear is going to be so mad the word "willy" made it into his thread ...

*cackles*

*squeals* ahhh!! how did a voodoo jewwy baby of me get in there!!!

*burrows around for a Cont-Essa one and takes it out and pats it's bum*

*scrolls back* I was gonna blame you but it looks like it was me...Ooops

Prods a little harder

*Ouch* I'm still sore from the other night

 

[asian_princess]

*scrolls back* I was gonna blame you but it looks like it was me...Ooops

Prods a little harder

*Ouch* I'm still sore from the other night

*giggles* Yup! but now that it's out...

*dances awound singing* willywillywillywillywilly

*squeals...delightedly*

oh!

*points to the marks on the Cont-Essa voodoo jewwy's bum*

that's not my hand print...

*looks closer*

infact! that's not a hand print at all...

*gets out the Litster's dental records...to compare with the mark*

ahhhhhhhhh i see

 

[Essa]

*giggles* Yup! but now that it's out...

*dances awound singing* willywillywillywillywilly

*squeals...delightedly*

oh!

*points to the marks on the Cont-Essa voodoo jewwy's bum*

that's not my hand print...

*looks closer*

infact! that's not a hand print at all...

*gets out the Litster's dental records...to compare with the mark*

ahhhhhhhhh i see

Maybe I could still say it was you, you never know He might not notice the word willy at all

Damn....my secrets out, hopefully the other persons print will be overridden by the first one

Gotta go and burn the salad, have a great night

 

[asian_princess]

Maybe I could still say it was you, you never know He might not notice the word willy at all

Damn....my secrets out, hopefully the other persons print will be overridden by the first one

Gotta go and burn the salad, have a great night

Willy notice or willy not

*mutters to self...other print???*

OH!!!!

*blushes* Cont-Essa! you dawg you!!

Save some charcoal salad for me!!!

*send a hot air balloon carrying a basket of huggles after Essa*

 

[Kylan]

Why, Oh Great Tuna of Fish, don't you like whales called willy?

 

[asian_princess]

Why, Oh Great Tuna of Fish, don't you like whales called willy?

In the event of He the great lord of the canned fishiness being passed out somewhere, I shall usurp his thread and attempt to answer your question, my dear McFluffikins...

Tis not that he does not like the whales called Willy.
Tis rather he does not like the whale's willy
And this is simply compounded if the whale is willy, (not Willy.)
For a whale who is willy denotes the assumption the he'd have a willy whale willy
Which begs the question...
a willy whale called Willy with a willy whale willy
About his Willy willy whale willy - willy, er, will he, wail??

And you know how Caddlebears hate questions, which is why Caddlebear only like whales called Bob.

Cos Caddlebear chooses not to think about going Bobbing for whale willies.



*hands the thread back to Caddlebear and wuns away*

 

[Cadoras]

I get the eyes encased in glass from glass people of course, you have to be really careful with your aim, one slip and the people split in half and shatter, it’s not a pretty sight, after my first hundred or so attempts I finally got the hang of it.

You only get the one sip and if you dribble it’s hard cheese, I will place the tap just a couple of inches away from your face, turn it off and on like greased lightning and you get what you can, simple really, you certainly couldn’t follow me around drinking from a glass, who on earth drinks from a glass nowadays? A cracked cup maybe but definitely not a glass. We could have a competition whoever breaks the most ribs wins…naturally I’d win

What can I say, a culinary genius I am, apart from salad I can never quite get the hang of that, it always burns. You know once I actually saw small children pointing and laughing in my direction, I was rather concerned until I realised it couldn’t possibly be me they were ridiculing, a handful of stones lobbed in their direction soon sent them scurrying on their way, the little loves.

People would be queuing around the block to take on the position, I could even employ you if demand got to much, I’m sure they’d enjoy a poke from your prodder also

Owly?, damn wish I’d thought of that first, no matter I shall capture another and give it that incredibly strange name, with two tawny owls, Tawny and Owly, them moles will be shaking in their holes.

It’s perfect, don’t worry about your head, a few stitches will see you right, *inspects the engraving* Hey!! I’m not that old…*whacks you over the head for your cheek, then once more for good measure*

Ooo I love your no laughter sign, do you ever look at it and laugh or is that against the rules? Crazy unexplained giggling can be fun, not when you need a wee though, the thing to do is not drink for three weeks before a crazy unexplained giggling spree, to save accidents.

It so is not mine, I haven’t a clue how that label mysteriously found itself on the bottom of my hair straightening machine, I mean for a start it’s written in blue ink, I only use black. *slides the blue pen into my boot and hopes for the best*

Ah you should have said sooner, maggots yuck how disgusting but dodo brains, they’re so yummy for your tummy.

Never forget where you’ve come from? Is that what Take That told them? Perhaps you just need some patience and then they can go back for good to the planets?

Well put like that how could I refuse, price tags on friends would be the most perfect present ever. *taps fingers impatiently* you sure you’ve sent my prezzy? That posty has been nowhere near for days

I marvel at myself sometimes, well no one else does, what’s a girl to do?

Damn right they‘re annoying if only someone could invent a pea shooter with a range long enough to break them up, we‘d have sun for ever..

An hour or two? That wouldn’t do me, I’d still be in the first shop haggling for a bargain.

I was gonna go back after dark, but I’m scared of the dark, so I’ll wait for you and we can club them together.

I see, you know I’d have never thought of that myself, I don’t actually think the problem will ever be solved, how else would the builders be able to tan their bums in the summer?

Phew, thank god for that, I was quite scared, I had a nightmare about being buried in huggles last night you know the ones I mean, dare I say it…Granny huggles Why do granny’s insist on huggling every last ounce of breath out of your body?

Have a fandabedozie night
_________________

So you're the one that's been going around stealing the eyes of glass people? I heard about that on the news.... I wasn't too worried though, I mean I'm not a glass person.... But I guess that'll teach them not to build glass houses that we can't throw stones in! *Gwares at the glass people*

That sounds like an absolutely wonderful way to get some vodka! I mean, I'll get my vodka personally served to me by you! Yay! I am so honoured! *Noddles* I'll have to celebrate this event every year! *Marks it on calendar* A cracked cup to drink from? I'd be so fancy! Drinking vodka from my cracked cup, following you with your huge barrel of vodka! Let's go! Of course you'd win our competition! You have lots of experience in hitting peasants with sticks

That salad stuff is tricky.... Spontaneous combustion and all that.... I've heard of entire fields just bursting into flames.... While it was snowing! Strange..... I'm sure that those poor children were just so awed by your presence that they went insane and started seeing things... So they were laughing at their hallucinations... Then when you hit them with the rocks, they snapped out of it! You're their saviour! *Nods*

Well, you know how crazy that mouseman sacrificing business can get... You've got little mousy parts all over the place... And authentic mouseman cuisine being sold close by.... With all profits going to you, of course! It's brilliant!

Wows.... You're going to double your owl army? Tawny and Owly? One male and one female? Then they could breed you the ultimate owl! I don't even know what that one would be called..... It would be amazing! No rest for the moles....

A few stitches? That'll be all that's holding my skull together? *Sigh* Hey! Ow! Your age wasn't even on the trophy.... That was just the year that the trophy was established in.... See? *Points* The trophy is starting to look dented.... Why do I think I'll be blamed for this?

I can't look at it and laugh... I do giggle a little though.... I wouldn't want to get in trouble with you.... Giggling is the most I can do! Don't worry about me! I have excellent control! I can giggle for hours without wetting myself... I do it all the time! No need to die of dehydration here.....

I'm just wondering... Could you demonstrate how to use this hair straightener? Exactly how you straighten your own hair with it? I can't see how it would work... Being all traplike.... Maybe if you wrote instructions too? With that pen of yours.....

Yes! Dodo brains are super tasty.... I've even been getting offers from major companies, that want the secret recipe..... KFD they want to call it..... But I said it was all up to you!

Yes! Exactly.... They need to remember where they've come from.... Bunch of snobs! *Sighs at the snobbery in the universe*

*Sends you a bunch of friends with super expensive price tags on them!* Here you go! 6 of the most expensive friends around! Yay! Oh no! Maybe the postman stole the present I sent to you... And now he's avoiding you so you won't find out! Get him! He has a delivery man nose! *Nods*

Awwwww! I marvel at you! *Nods* I really do! *Marvels at you* See?

That's a good idea... But the pea shooter wouldn't work... Those clouds would be on to you in seconds.... Then they'd send down lightning bolts to fry anyone that even thought about pea shooters! They're very crafty....

Well, that's because you're such a skilled haggler.... These teachers don't know anything about haggling, so they just pay the outrageous prices they're charged... It's why they need a raise..... Poor unskilled teachers... *Sighs*

*Hefts club* I'm ready! Let's go get those builders! They'll never know what hit em.... Think they're asleep?

Oh, right! We'd have ourselves an international building crisis if the builder's weren't given the opportunity to tan their bums..... There'd be outrage and rioting in the streets! Someone would catch a glimpse of blinding white builder and it'd all be downhill from there... We must allow our builders to continue dressing as they do! For the good all mankind!

Urgh... Granny huggles.....

What you may not know about the dreaded granny huggle.... Is that it is actually very similar to a technique employed by vampires.... They however just push your life out of you, instead of sucking it.... The granny then breathes in the life force.... Which is why some little old ladies are capable of living for well over a hundred years... She steals the lifeforce from her younger family members.... Diminishing their lives and sustaining her own! She is truly a creature to be feared.... Watch out!

*Huggles Essa!* Hope you have a great one!

 

[Cadoras]

*follows Cont-Essa into the thread and gives her a quick huggle attack*

Caddlebear, Caddlebear?!! I have a question!

*shakes Caddlebear*

wake up, wake up!!!

Why Caddlebear, WHY?! ...did APplebear derive such joy from playing the prank on your earlier?!!!

*giggle*

and for bonus points...

Why Caddlebeaar, WHY?! ... do some cars have the petrol thingo on the right side of the car? cos then you have to drive into the pump thing on the right side of the road. don't you think this might interfere with our conditioning to always keep o the left side? What if this subliminally perpetuates some sort of unconcious thought that it's ok to drive on the right side?! I'm telling you before you know it a whole slew of accidents will start appearing in the news of these crazy wacky drivers pulling out of service stations and driving on the wrong side of the road?!!!! and what's even worse... they'll have FULL petrol tanks!!! Think of the possibllity for wide spread damage!!! OMG...WMD's exist... in the form of the family ford station wagon...

Urghles..... *Tries to wake up*

Why are you shaking me? What did I do? *Is confuzzled*

I do believe that the only reason she got such joy from it is because she is evil! EVIL! How could you? I mean seriously..... I thought we were friends! And if you're gonna do things like that to me.... You will forever have to be on guard for the cat/penis shoe combo! *Gwares*

*Eyes APplebear suspiciously*

Well, you know that Caddlebear is an expert on automobiles.... So he has all the inside knowledge on why they do these seemingly random things..... You see, while it may seem like it's just to inspire people to drive on the wrong side of the road and kill large groups of innocent civilians.... This isn't the plan.... *Shakes head* Did you know that if you put the petrol thingo on the opposite side of the car, approximately 67.43% of all idiots will think that they have one of those cars that don't have petrol and just sit in it going nowhere? It solves multiple problems at once! They aren't a danger on the road.... And they aren't causing pollution.... Even the ones that figure it out and end up getting killed are still helping things! It's a brilliant plan! Yay for car companies!

I hope that helps you to understand the complex automotive world that we live in today! *Huggles APplebear*

 

[Morrigu]

Caddlebear, why do Essas only drink voddie?

*hugglesfest against your chest*

 

[Cadoras]

Why, Oh Great Tuna of Fish, don't you like whales called willy?

*Glances around*

*Pokes the Tuna of Fish*

I think he's talking to you?

Ah, I see.....

The Tuna of Fish has authorised me to answer for him!

You see... The Tuna of Fish is very particular about the kinds of names that are given to different sea creatures.... You may be singling out Willy as a name that The Tuna of Fish doesn't like..... But... It is also against whales being named Wally.... It hates any creature with a name that starts with the same letter as it's species.... Which is exactly why.... If your name is Harry the Human.... You must be incredibly careful when you're out on the ocean... You may find your life ended abruptly by a giant Tuna....

*Shakes head sadly*

Even great creatures can have petty biases..... It's just the way of the world, I guess...

Does that answer your question?

 

[Cadoras]

*Waves to all the questioning types!*

Hello everyone! I know I'm not quite talkative.... But I wanted to thank you all for your wonderful questions! I look forward to answering loads more! It's very enjoyable

*Leaves huggles for all!*

 

[asian_princess]

*Glances around*

*Pokes the Tuna of Fish*

I think he's talking to you?

Ah, I see.....

The Tuna of Fish has authorised me to answer for him!

You see... The Tuna of Fish is very particular about the kinds of names that are given to different sea creatures.... You may be singling out Willy as a name that The Tuna of Fish doesn't like..... But... It is also against whales being named Wally.... It hates any creature with a name that starts with the same letter as it's species.... Which is exactly why.... If your name is Harry the Human.... You must be incredibly careful when you're out on the ocean... You may find your life ended abruptly by a giant Tuna....

*Shakes head sadly*

Even great creatures can have petty biases..... It's just the way of the world, I guess...

Does that answer your question?

*eyes caddlebear who is really the Great Tuna of Fish in disguise*

How is this answer diferent to mine?
I see no difference... you say potato...I say willywhalewilly ... same diff.

*sniffles*

 

[Cadoras]

Caddlebear, why do Essas only drink voddie?

*hugglesfest against your chest*

Well, that's an easy one! *Noddles*

Vodka is just the most bestest thing that was ever made! Well, it's almost equal to coffee, maybe a little down... Cos coffee is the giver of life.... But after you've been stuck on a pirate ship for years.... Stuck drinking their rum.... You make a pledge to yourself that from that day forward... You will only drink the most vodkalicious drink in the world! And that is Vodka.....

Now you may think that, I haven't properly explained why Essa won't drink anything else.... But that is the absolute truth! Those pirates took away her desire to drink anything else.... That's why you should never spend years drinking nothing but rum! *Shakes head sadly*

Long live the Vodka Pirates of Russia!

*Huggles for Moriggles!*

 

[Cadoras]

*eyes caddlebear who is really the Great Tuna of Fish in disguise*

How is this answer diferent to mine?
I see no difference... you say potato...I say willywhalewilly ... same diff.

*sniffles*

*Huggles APplebear*

I'm not a Tuna of Fish! You're crazy.....

*Glances around nervously*

My answer is just the same as yours.... I'm sorry, I copied you...... Forgive me? *Huggles APplebear some more*

 

[Morrigu]

Well, that's an easy one! *Noddles*

Vodka is just the most bestest thing that was ever made! Well, it's almost equal to coffee, maybe a little down... Cos coffee is the giver of life.... But after you've been stuck on a pirate ship for years.... Stuck drinking their rum.... You make a pledge to yourself that from that day forward... You will only drink the most vodkalicious drink in the world! And that is Vodka.....

Now you may think that, I haven't properly explained why Essa won't drink anything else.... But that is the absolute truth! Those pirates took away her desire to drink anything else.... That's why you should never spend years drinking nothing but rum! *Shakes head sadly*

Long live the Vodka Pirates of Russia!

*Huggles for Moriggles!*

That explains everything.............why she rolls when she's drunk and all that. And also why she can't bear to share Voddie with anyone.............

Thanking you muchly Pirate Caddlebear King of Russia

*huggles**gropehuggle*

 

[Cadoras]

That explains everything.............why she rolls when she's drunk and all that. And also why she can't bear to share Voddie with anyone.............

Thanking you muchly Pirate Caddlebear King of Russia

*huggles**gropehuggle*

I thought you'd understand! It's a very complicated thing.... *Nods*

Shhhhhh! I'm not King of Russia, yet..... I'm still in negotiations... So don't give them any warning!

*More huggles!* Yay!

 

[asian_princess]

*Huggles APplebear*

I'm not a Tuna of Fish! You're crazy.....

*Glances around nervously*

My answer is just the same as yours.... I'm sorry, I copied you...... Forgive me? *Huggles APplebear some more*

*huggles back grumpily*

I didn't say you were A tuna of Fish..I said you were THE GREAT Tuna of Fish... i used the right title and EVERYTHING, my lord.

and you KNOW how we feel about copying... don't make me change my name to Caddlebear...I'll do it Caddlebear...i will!!!!

 

[Cadoras]

*huggles back grumpily*

I didn't say you were A tuna of Fish..I said you were THE GREAT Tuna of Fish... i used the right title and EVERYTHING, my lord.

and you KNOW how we feel about copying... don't make me change my name to Caddlebear...I'll do it Caddlebear...i will!!!!

Aha! Are you one of my loyal followers? Erm.... I mean.... I'm not The Great Tuna of Fish! You are mistaken..... *Worries*

You'll change your name to Caddlebear? Maybe I should change my name to Caddlebear 2! Then we can both be super fancy!

 

[asian_princess]

Aha! Are you one of my loyal followers? Erm.... I mean.... I'm not The Great Tuna of Fish! You are mistaken..... *Worries*

You'll change your name to Caddlebear? Maybe I should change my name to Caddlebear 2! Then we can both be super fancy!

why do you always have to be different?!?! It's hard to be your DoppelGangerBear when you're all unique-y!

Can't you be normal like the rest of us?

you will be Caddlebear...no number and that's that


*feels mean*

ok...you can be Magenta Caddlebear..how bout that?

 

[Cadoras]

why do you always have to be different?!?! It's hard to be your DoppelGangerBear when you're all unique-y!

Can't you be normal like the rest of us?

you will be Caddlebear...no number and that's that


*feels mean*

ok...you can be Magenta Caddlebear..how bout that?

It's not my fault I like to be different! I can't just copy you......

Hmmmmm.... if I'm Magenta Caddlebear

You can be Royal Blue Caddlebear

Yay! It's all settled!