Dixon Carter Lee
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Purple Haze said:
I conceed that.
I'll also conceed that he's got more "karma", "shakras", "ESP", "telekenetic power", and sees more ghosts than I do.
Why 43% of you are stupid
- Thread starter Dixon Carter Lee
- Start date
I conceed that.
I'll also conceed that he's got more "karma", "shakras", "ESP", "telekenetic power", and sees more ghosts than I do.
Purple Haze
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sunstruck said:
Nah he just sits there licking his balls.
Oh my dog?
Yes he howls...
SilvaTungDevil
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Dixon Carter Lee said:
I'm pretty sure all my pets will be joining me in Hell. They are good sinners.
CoolidgEffect
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sunstruck said:
I thought having a soul and being Baptized were two different issues.
Lancecastor
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Stupid Americans
http://www.csmonitor.com/durable/2001/06/20/csmimg/0620p1b.jpg
Canucks have long suspected that Americans know little about their largest trading partner and cultural cousins to the north. Now, a comedy show has apparently proved the point with a segment called "Talking to Americans," and the gag is gathering record-breaking audiences of shocked and delighted Canadians.
Part of a weekly show called "This Hour Has 22 Minutes," the segment features comedian Rick Mercer as a newsman traveling the US to conduct "man on the street" interviews on a range of bogus topics. The show is so popular that producers recently compiled them into an hour-long special. The show drew an audience of 2.7 million, making it the highest-rated TV comedy ever aired by the government-funded Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.
In the show, a Harvard University professor signs a petition to protest "the Canadian government's decision to resume the Saskatchewan seal hunt." (Everyone knows Saskatchewan is a land-locked prairie province ... right?)
Enthusiastic Americans congratulate Canada for opening its first university recently, getting its first volunteer fire station, adding Grade 9 to schools, getting FM radio, permitting the Irish to vote, and allowing dogs as house pets.
A young man at New York University is outraged when told that 70 percent of Canadian Grade 7 students can't name their congressman or find their home states on a map (because Canada has neither states nor a Congress).
"It's disgraceful that people are unaware of the world they live in," he says with disgust.
At New York City's Columbia University, students and a professor sign a petition demanding an end "to the Canadian tradition of placing senior citizens on northern ice flows, leaving them to perish."
Geoff D'Eon, the producer and director of "Talking To Americans," says the show works "because we exploit two things: the boundless ignorance of folks south of the border about Canada, and the great generosity of these people toward Canadians. Americans tend to be very friendly, open people who are, by and large, very opinionated."
Beneath the humor, "Talking to Americans" taps into an age-old inferiority complex often felt by the smaller partner in an economic relationship. "Let's face it. Why should the elephant know about the mouse?" he says.
"All I know is that it somehow speaks very loudly to Canadians. It's not a consciousness-raising exercise or anything. It's just a joke, and we get paid to make Canadians laugh. It's as simple as that."
Whether it intends to have a real political impact or not, the show has made some bona fide news headlines.
During the recent US presidential campaigns, candidates George W. Bush and Al Gore were deftly skewered by Mercer gags.
Told his campaign was being endorsed by Canadian Prime Minister Jean Poutine, Mr. Bush said he was "honored" without realizing that the Canadian leader's name is Chrétien, not "poutine," a French-Canadian dish of french fries, gravy, and cheese.
Mr. Gore was caught when he didn't correct Mercer for suggesting that Canada's capital city is Toronto, not Ottawa.
A few US governors have also been duped. Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee congratulated Canada on preserving its "national igloo," which he was told was a frozen copy of Washington's Capitol building.
Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack was pleased to hear Canada had finally switched from a 20- to 24-hour clock, so as not to confuse American tourists.
John Thompson, a Canadian studies professor at Duke University in North Carolina, says he's seen "Talking to Americans" and thinks it's "very funny, but not very fair."
"I think you could probably fool Canadians the same way, if you dressed someone up in a suit and gave them a microphone," he says. "Soon enough, you'd have Canadians congratulating Americans for executing their 5,000th inmate or some such thing."
Mr. Thompson, a Canadian who has lived in the US for 15 years, says "dissing Americans is a vital part of the Canadian identity."
"It's not a bad thing really, because most newer countries' identities are created by contrasting with others," he says.
While Canada is no newer than the US, the concept of "defining Canadian identity" is much more prevalent here.
The American identity in the 19th century was equally oppositional, Thompson explains. "Back then, Americans were obsessed with comparing themselves to Europeans and standing up to the English, in particular."
Canadians know more about Americans than vice versa because they're constantly exposed to a multitude of US television shows, says Thompson, who is vaguely apologetic for recently becoming an American citizen. "I know how that will go over in Canada," he laughs.
Julie Commerford, still an American after living in Toronto for 15 years, says that when she first moved here, "Canadians were a little hostile to me."
"It's true that we're not taught a lot about Canada in American schools, but don't hold it against me just because I don't know how many provinces there are," says Ms. Commerford.
Still, she finds "Talking to Americans" extremely funny. "That bit about Jean Poutine - I just had to laugh out loud," she says. "But at the same time, I was a bit embarrassed that my countrymen don't know who Canada's leader is."
By Diana Coulter
Special to The Christian Science Monitor
http://www.csmonitor.com/durable/2001/06/20/csmimg/0620p1b.jpg
Canucks have long suspected that Americans know little about their largest trading partner and cultural cousins to the north. Now, a comedy show has apparently proved the point with a segment called "Talking to Americans," and the gag is gathering record-breaking audiences of shocked and delighted Canadians.
Part of a weekly show called "This Hour Has 22 Minutes," the segment features comedian Rick Mercer as a newsman traveling the US to conduct "man on the street" interviews on a range of bogus topics. The show is so popular that producers recently compiled them into an hour-long special. The show drew an audience of 2.7 million, making it the highest-rated TV comedy ever aired by the government-funded Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.
In the show, a Harvard University professor signs a petition to protest "the Canadian government's decision to resume the Saskatchewan seal hunt." (Everyone knows Saskatchewan is a land-locked prairie province ... right?)
Enthusiastic Americans congratulate Canada for opening its first university recently, getting its first volunteer fire station, adding Grade 9 to schools, getting FM radio, permitting the Irish to vote, and allowing dogs as house pets.
A young man at New York University is outraged when told that 70 percent of Canadian Grade 7 students can't name their congressman or find their home states on a map (because Canada has neither states nor a Congress).
"It's disgraceful that people are unaware of the world they live in," he says with disgust.
At New York City's Columbia University, students and a professor sign a petition demanding an end "to the Canadian tradition of placing senior citizens on northern ice flows, leaving them to perish."
Geoff D'Eon, the producer and director of "Talking To Americans," says the show works "because we exploit two things: the boundless ignorance of folks south of the border about Canada, and the great generosity of these people toward Canadians. Americans tend to be very friendly, open people who are, by and large, very opinionated."
Beneath the humor, "Talking to Americans" taps into an age-old inferiority complex often felt by the smaller partner in an economic relationship. "Let's face it. Why should the elephant know about the mouse?" he says.
"All I know is that it somehow speaks very loudly to Canadians. It's not a consciousness-raising exercise or anything. It's just a joke, and we get paid to make Canadians laugh. It's as simple as that."
Whether it intends to have a real political impact or not, the show has made some bona fide news headlines.
During the recent US presidential campaigns, candidates George W. Bush and Al Gore were deftly skewered by Mercer gags.
Told his campaign was being endorsed by Canadian Prime Minister Jean Poutine, Mr. Bush said he was "honored" without realizing that the Canadian leader's name is Chrétien, not "poutine," a French-Canadian dish of french fries, gravy, and cheese.
Mr. Gore was caught when he didn't correct Mercer for suggesting that Canada's capital city is Toronto, not Ottawa.
A few US governors have also been duped. Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee congratulated Canada on preserving its "national igloo," which he was told was a frozen copy of Washington's Capitol building.
Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack was pleased to hear Canada had finally switched from a 20- to 24-hour clock, so as not to confuse American tourists.
John Thompson, a Canadian studies professor at Duke University in North Carolina, says he's seen "Talking to Americans" and thinks it's "very funny, but not very fair."
"I think you could probably fool Canadians the same way, if you dressed someone up in a suit and gave them a microphone," he says. "Soon enough, you'd have Canadians congratulating Americans for executing their 5,000th inmate or some such thing."
Mr. Thompson, a Canadian who has lived in the US for 15 years, says "dissing Americans is a vital part of the Canadian identity."
"It's not a bad thing really, because most newer countries' identities are created by contrasting with others," he says.
While Canada is no newer than the US, the concept of "defining Canadian identity" is much more prevalent here.
The American identity in the 19th century was equally oppositional, Thompson explains. "Back then, Americans were obsessed with comparing themselves to Europeans and standing up to the English, in particular."
Canadians know more about Americans than vice versa because they're constantly exposed to a multitude of US television shows, says Thompson, who is vaguely apologetic for recently becoming an American citizen. "I know how that will go over in Canada," he laughs.
Julie Commerford, still an American after living in Toronto for 15 years, says that when she first moved here, "Canadians were a little hostile to me."
"It's true that we're not taught a lot about Canada in American schools, but don't hold it against me just because I don't know how many provinces there are," says Ms. Commerford.
Still, she finds "Talking to Americans" extremely funny. "That bit about Jean Poutine - I just had to laugh out loud," she says. "But at the same time, I was a bit embarrassed that my countrymen don't know who Canada's leader is."
By Diana Coulter
Special to The Christian Science Monitor
Last edited:
Purple Haze
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Damn, you type fast!
Dixon Carter Lee
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LOL
crystalizedjoy
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canadians are cool! how can you not like hockey players?
oh, to see the wild herds of untamed hockey players roaming the plains. See? there, you can distinguish the alpha player by the size of his stick. see how each hockey player has individual markings? thats how we tell members of the same family group, or "teams", apart. oh, this is remarkable, one of the group is calling out! lets listen in:
"GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!"
it seems to be a celebratory cry, perhaps after a successful hunt, or winning a mate. oh, look there! a female is responding to him!:
"Eh? Eh? Eh?"
i love canada.
oh, to see the wild herds of untamed hockey players roaming the plains. See? there, you can distinguish the alpha player by the size of his stick. see how each hockey player has individual markings? thats how we tell members of the same family group, or "teams", apart. oh, this is remarkable, one of the group is calling out! lets listen in:
"GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!"
it seems to be a celebratory cry, perhaps after a successful hunt, or winning a mate. oh, look there! a female is responding to him!:
"Eh? Eh? Eh?"
i love canada.
I read somewheres that the smartest dinosaur had about the same intelligence level as a chicken. Also that ancient chinese dudes found dinosaur bones every once and while and they figured they were dragons. Ancient european dudes thought they were bones of biggo humans. I think that makes chinese dudes inherently smarter than europeans, I didn't do a big study on it like Dixon-I just got that impression.
Dixon Carter Lee
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70/30, if you want to get from A to Z you have stop using made-up letters.
The Heretic
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Well, I personally have to wonder about the intelligence of someone who actually used the adjective "stupider"Dixon Carter Lee said:
RawHumor
Creepers Gotta Creep
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sunstruck said:
I once read an article about some people releasing an elephant back into the wild. According to the article, after the elephant got a few hundred yards away, it looked back and trumpeted a "thank you" type of elephant-noise from its trunk. Again, too many Disney movies.
sch00lteacher
Social Security Sucks
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I posted this, this morning on the Inspiration thread.
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
I saw some documentary show about circus elephants once. Two of them met each other when they were young and were best friends but they went to different circuses. Anyways like 27years later they were both put and the same elephant retirement home and they still remembered that they were best friends and became best friends again. I think the whole thing meant that elephants don't forget nothing, especially good friends.
The Heretic
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Re: Stupid Americans
No wonder Canuckians think we are ignorant! Anybody who thinks they know anything substantial about the USA by watching our TV is sadly mistaken and ignorant themselves.
Lancecastor said:
No wonder Canuckians think we are ignorant! Anybody who thinks they know anything substantial about the USA by watching our TV is sadly mistaken and ignorant themselves.
Lancecastor
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Re: Re: Stupid Americans
According to 1999 statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau, about half of all Americans fall into the "low" education category, with a high school diploma or less. One fourth have attended some college or hold an associate degree, and the remaining fourth have received a bachelor's or more advanced degree.
http://www.acs.ohio-state.edu/units/research/archive/tved.htm
The Heretic said:
According to 1999 statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau, about half of all Americans fall into the "low" education category, with a high school diploma or less. One fourth have attended some college or hold an associate degree, and the remaining fourth have received a bachelor's or more advanced degree.
http://www.acs.ohio-state.edu/units/research/archive/tved.htm
sch00lteacher
Social Security Sucks
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Oh, by the way.
If my cats and dogs are not in heaven... I don't want to go.
If my cats and dogs are not in heaven... I don't want to go.
The Heretic
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Re: Re: Re: Stupid Americans
Uh gee! Statistical revelation! Half of Americans are below average, the other half are above average!Lancecastor said:
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