Where to go to for sex advice

[Bobby_Davro12]

Hey Gang,

I was wondering were everyone goes to for sex advice? I am fully aware that this forum rocks and I've learnt a hell of a lot from you all. Even though I've not posted a massive amount I'm always reading the help and advice that you guys give.

But taking that one step back where do you get your advice and tips from, is it trial and error and talking to friends? I say that because I don't think that my friends could really handle too many sex advice conversations, it's more a staple of beer and football (boring I know). So is there any good sites out there that give good information on things like new sex positons (gotta keep spicing it up) and foreplay tecniques (I've come to the realisation that, just because I'm enjoying my little self don't mean that my better half is) the phrase, "I'm here for a good time not a long time" needs to get ditched.

Any pointers would be great.

Cheers

Not Bobby

 

[phoenix1224]

Personally, I get my knowledge from a number of sources... Personal experience, sex and relationship books, online (like here at Lit), scientific studies, and talking to people who are open to talking about sex.

 

[SweetErika]

Personally, I get my knowledge from a number of sources... Personal experience, sex and relationship books, online (like here at Lit), scientific studies, and talking to people who are open to talking about sex.

That about covers it for me too. When I see something interesting, we tend to try it, which accumulates experience on that and our personal variations. Sometimes it works well, others it can be improved upon, and still others it's a total disaster we learn a lot from. This particular community is great because most are very open about what has/hasn't worked for them, so I feel like I gain a lot of ideas and second-hand experience.

If I don't know something, I research it via Google, follow links or ask, and learn a heck of a lot!

 

[silverwhisper]

usually, i ask someone here. i don't know about you, but my real-life friends are almost w/out exception not comfortable having specific conversations about sex.

ed

 

[Sarojaede]

I usually ask someone here as well or read through the forums here if I don't ask directly.

My RL friends don't seem to be comfortable with having specific conversations about sex.

 

[Cathleen]

Lit has sort of wrecked me when it comes to wanting to talk with friends (the friends I can see near). It is a tough topic for people to feel comfortable discussing.

There are a few sites I like to read/lurk/participate/investigate. I'd never ask this bunch for advice... they're likely to land me in jail!

http://www.freddyandeddy.com/

talksexwithsue.com

http://www.loversguide.com/

http://www.libida.com/home.php?id=1256184515 ('Hot Topics' down left hand of page)

http://www.seasonsindia.com/ (Again, left hand side. It's a neat place I think.)

http://www.bettydodson.com/

http://www.hootisland.com/index.php "Silly Sex, for silly people"

 

[midwestyankee]

The only people with whom I can talk in detail about sex are my subbie sex toys.






Oh, you wanted an answer based on reality, didn't you? See Cate's post above.

 

[footlongish]

Hey, I can answer this !

Lit people are EXCELLENT to talk to about sex and relationships.

I'm with others here that I can't talk to my friends and family about this stuff. I don't want them knowing, I don't feel comfortable talking to them and I'm not sure they would know what to tell me !

I think talking to actual people and hearing their viewpoints is 10x better than counselling.

I've been going through some stuff, both sexual and relationship wise and I have a few lit friends that I talk to. Actually, they talk to me too. We talk about stuff that would make a porno actor blush sometimes, but its really good to discuss ! We do this in PMs or via anonymous emails.

I especially like discussing things with women, being I am a man, because I like to hear the female point of view. And I think it works vice versa as well.

Honestly, I wish I would have found Lit 10 years ago.

 

[Eilan]

Depends on whether you want advice or validation.

 

[footlongish]

"Depends on whether you want advice or validation."

I dunno if that comment was directed at me or not, but I'll comment anyway.

I ask questions of my email friends and I listen to the answers. Some of the time I agree with them. Some of the time I don't like what I hear. I think about those answers and I have to admit that most of the time what they say makes sense. Hard on the ego, yes, but much easier hearing it in an email. Who among us is perfect ? Certainly not me. I'd rather an email friend knew my imperfections than someone I see on a regular basis.

Lets face something... not many of us openly discuss our sex lives and relationships with people close to us in our everyday lives. "Hey, Sally. How did your husband do eating your pussy last night ?" Or how about "Hey, Bob, did you tell your wife that you need more holding and cuddling yet ?" NOT LIKELY ! So a lot of this stuff goes undiscussed. And yet some of us need to discuss it !

And yet there are people here who have a lot of experience and knowledge about making relationships work. So why not find appropriate friends and discuss things ?

 

[SweetErika]

"Depends on whether you want advice or validation."

I dunno if that comment was directed at me or not, but I'll comment anyway.

I seriously doubt it was directed at you specifically. I think Eilan was addressing the threadstarter's question, and she brings up a very valid point (not that you implied it wasn't ). If I want great advice or info, I'll come here, to HT or one of the other forums that gives good advice (e.g. the BDSMers seem to give very good advice, too).

If, however, I wanted validation, I'd ask in Personals, AmPics or maybe GLBT, where people are more fantasy- and friendfinding- oriented. I've seen good advice in those forums, too, but there aren't as many balanced, reality-based perspectives, and a lot of telling people what they want to hear, which I'm not attracted to.

Of all of the sex/relationships forums I've checked out, Litsters give the best advice and info, hands-down.

And yet there are people here who have a lot of experience and knowledge about making relationships work. So why not find appropriate friends and discuss things ?

That's what I've started to do when forming new friendships. I specifically look for people who are open and comfortable talking about sex because I'd rather not have to watch myself all the time and find we usually get along better in general when we have that in common. I don't want my sexuality and openness to make my friends uncomfortable because those are an important part of me, and always watching it/hiding can be stressful and result in weaker relationships.

 

[Eilan]

Don't flatter yourself, inchlongish. Until Erika quoted you, I couldn't even see your posts in this thread and my Lit experience has been better for it.

Sometimes it's not all about you.

ETA: FWIW, I think what I said applies to you, but I wasn't directing it at you. Not this time, anyway.

 

[Bobby_Davro12]

Cheers

Ever so sorry for the gap in my response, I've been away the past couple of days. Thanks for your posts it's great to see that I can talk/type really freely about all kinds of stuff.

Tar

Not Bobby