Where do you turn for counseling?

[Hypoxia]

I'm just wondering how great these forums are for personal problem solving.

NOTE: The poll is multiple choice. Sort of like real life.

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[desertslave]

I think it all depends on the issue. I'd mostly trust my friends and family (in that order), but if it was a Big Deal I might consider some professional counseling.

 

[NippleMuncher]

It totally depends on the person, their problems, their belief systems, and how well they are known within a community.

Most families that I know are so dysfunctional that there is little to no support there. Most friends really don't have the capacity to do anything more than listen or get on the bitch wagon along with you. Invisible friends? Not sure where you were going here, seems an awful lot like the "nobody" selection.

I don't put much stock into professional counselors, yes, there are some good ones out there, but by and large I am of the opinion that it's a bunch of quackery that is about enabling, selling drugs, and selling seat time in their office. Seriously, they don't make money by curing your ills, they make money by charging you to listen to your problems. I have a friend who is a family counselor, suffers from depression, is on meds, AND sees a shrink. She's been fighting depression for years. If her shrink were any good, they'd have found the cause of the depression and found some resolutions for it.

Forum members, again, depends on the problem and the person. I would not put personal problems out onto a public forum for discussion. I have, on occasion, chatted privately with a few trusted members.

 

[unregistered]

 

[NightL]

There is one here who has offered much - they listened

thank you

 

[amofiga]

I'm just wondering how great these forums are for personal problem solving.

NOTE: The poll is multiple choice. Sort of like real life.

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Your post uses the word "counseling" and not just "advice" or "opinion". It's ok to ask for advice or opinion from friends or family. Everybody had a different point of view on lots of issues and processing the various "opinions" you get can sometimes help you arrive at a decision. This is fine for decisions that not necessarily life changing like choosing a car or an apartment or a new suit or dress.

HOWEVER, if you're talking about something that is going to have a major impact like whether or not to divorce someone cheating on you or that has a gambling or substance abuse problem or you yourself have such a problem, then don't leave your life in the hands of people who aren't necessarily going to be objective and that have YOUR best interests at heart. The problem with opinions and advice from friends is that they are basing their attitudes on how they see the world, not necessarily objective factors that suite YOU. A certified counselor is trained on dealing with people, couples, families and knows how to sort out what's best in your situagion.

I don't know if you're seriously wondering which way to go, but in making a decision, be honest with yourself about the impact of which way you go. Good luck.

 

[bailadora]

TL;DR: Thinking through my long winded response has brought me to this: you get out of any relationship what you put in. I do post some problems here, but I also respond to others. I genuinely care about a bunch of Literoticans and I think it's mutual. Real life folks and relationships are the same - you give and you get, you help them, they help you/you support others, and turn to them when you need support. Counseling can work, but it is work, and one has to be open, willing, and honest for it to have a chance.

Eh, that's me though. YMMV

I was gonna type out this long response, but J has pretty much summed it up. In order to receive advice, you have to be open to the process. This includes hearing things you might not want to, looking at at your actions/habits/attitudes, and admitting to your contribution to the problem. If you go into the process with a closed mind, you might as well not have started at all. And if it's paid counseling, you might as well dump your hard earned money into the sewer, for all the help it will bring you. Granted, it can take a while to find a good counselor, but they are out there.

As for me, when I have a problem - I tend to talk to a lot of people. I'm a fact gatherer, and while I sometimes have a general idea of what I want to do, or where I want to go, getting different perspectives helps me to weigh options I might not have known about, thought of or considered. I tend to let things percolate, then ask many more questions, and finally make a decision. It's a process that has mostly served me well.

 

[Scrubber]

I virtually never turn to family for help - they're all madder than me!

I rarely turn to friends for help - I am a very private person generally and don't like airing my problems IRL.

I have a large network of online friends who I have met on various forums. They have proved invaluable to me when I want to talk stuff through. I don't tend to ask for advice out on a forum unless it is practical stuff to do with my pets, but for personal stuff I have messaged and emailed many people. They are all people who will be supportive but will offer thoughts and opinions even if they know their comments might not go down all that well at first.

I have met some utterly fantastic people on Lit. They've helped me work through some past demons and let me unload on them without complaint. I consider them very dear friends. Most of them aren't all that active so probably won't read this, but if any of them do, they know who they are.