My just-turned-5-year-old asked me this today. Now, normally I answer his questions factually and immediately, but today I put him off so I could have some time to think about how to approach this.
The problem is that he has high-functioning autism and has no filter, social skills are a challenge, and one of his strong interests/obsessions is medicine. So, I can easily envision him reciting my answer (even though it'll be very bland) verbatim to his fellow preschoolers and friends (some of whom likely aren't ready for the concept and/or have far more conservative parents).
He does already know that a baby grows in a mommy's uterus, gets nutrients from the mom through the umbilical cord and comes out through the vagina or a c-section, and he has shared that information inappropriately on occasion. I tried to remind him of this, but he cut me off, saying, "Mom, I KNOW THAT ALREADY! I want to know how the baby gets there in the first place!"And at that point I told him it was a really great question, and it's answer I'll give another day when he's a teensy bit older. That probably wasn't a shining moment in my parenting, but it was what I came up with as I was putting him into his car seat.
Should I get an age-appropriate book? Give him the "a sperm from a daddy meets an egg from a mommy" line and hope he doesn't press for more details? He's incredibly smart, though, and almost always does, so I'd be foolish to not plan for the whole conversation. If he asks how the sperm get to the mom, what can I say that's factual but quite vague? If I have to go into any sort of detail, I'll likely need to explain that it isn't appropriate conversation for friends or school, but it's certainly something we can talk about at home and with our doctor. I hate to do that, but I think it's necessary in this particular case.
I distinctly recall having this conversation with my mom when I was about my son's age, and her incredible discomfort with the topic. She also asked where I first heard "sex" and didn't react positively to my answer that my friend kept saying "sex dex." So I want to approach this with comfort AND preferably not have the kid who's perceived negatively for over-sharing.
