When flowers are depressing

[Guest]

I received a dozen red roses from my SO today. That's the only type of flower he's ever sent me. He has never asked what my favorite flower is. He hasn't taken hints about what flowers I prefer.

I told him straight out not 2 weeks ago during a fight that I found it insulting that he has never tried to find out what *I* like. I used the flowers as an example.

I started crying when I saw them today. He doesn't know me at all. He never has and he never will because he's too selfish, lazy and self-involved to even see past the shell of my body.

I don't even know what to say to him about them. I'm completely at a loss and totally depressed right now.

 

[pabloback]

the guy sends her flowers and still she complains
"the thought that counts " springs to mind here somewhere

 

[unclej]

well,this is a pretty good place to get a hug to help with the depression....huggggnnnnghh...there ya go...

as for the rest of it maybe you just need to thump him on the ole noggin and get his attention next time you want daisies? tulips?carnations? na, i'll bet you're a tulip girl....i'm right aren't i....thought so...

 

[Bindii]

Thats men for ya!

Don't let it get you down, at least you got flowers! In his own way he was thinking of you.

I like orchids (if anyone wants to know!), but generally flowers depress me all the time because I just hate watching something die.....

I'd give you a flower but there's only roses available on lit.....hows about a hug instead? (())

 

[Guest]

 

[scrymettet]

I like orchids (if anyone wants to know
I'd give you a flower but there's only roses available on lit.....hows about a hug instead? (())

http://www.orchid-maunalani.com/images/top_2.jpg

 

[Guest]

the guy sends her flowers and still she complains
"the thought that counts " springs to mind here somewhere

Yes, the thought is nice. But how much thought really goes into ringing up a florest and ordering flowers? Not much. Doesn't it show you care more to give something you know the recipient will really love?

The flowers just symbolize to me how little he has tried to get to know me in 10 years time.

When I buy him chocolate, I don't buy any old chocolate. I look all over town for the ones I know he would like.

Wouldn't it be a bit insulting if I got him dark chocolate time after time, when I knew he prefered white, simply because it was easier to get him anything than to put any real thought into it?

 

[Guest]

 

[Starfish]

Even if he hasn't asked you, maybe, just maybe he hasn't got any reason to think you don't like them, enough to ask you what other kind you want. How is he supposed to know you if you don't offer him anything. You are so ungrateful about what type of flower he buys you, but have you ever told him what you prefer? It isn't hard to do, and guess what, you don't even have to hurt his feelings. You could say something in between times, like "I just printed out this picuture I wanted to show you. I really love this flower."

Maybe you should just open up. You obviously have more of a problem with him than just that he gets you the wrong flower. If that is all that is wrong, you are one ungrateful person. Life is more than a type of flowers.

What else is wrong. What is the real problem?

 

[Bindii]

http://www.orchid-maunalani.com/images/top_2.jpg

Awww - thanks!
You've just made a friend for life.

 

[Starfish]

Yes, the thought is nice. But how much thought really goes into ringing up a florest and ordering flowers? Not much. Doesn't it show you care more to give something you know the recipient will really love?

The flowers just symbolize to me how little he has tried to get to know me in 10 years time.

When I buy him chocolate, I don't buy any old chocolate. I look all over town for the ones I know he would like.

Wouldn't it be a bit insulting if I got him dark chocolate time after time, when I knew he prefered white, simply because it was easier to get him anything than to put any real thought into it?

Forgive my above post. I see the principle of what you are hurting from now, and it is valid. I am sorry.

 

[Guest]

Forgive my above post. I see the principle of what you are hurting from now, and it is valid. I am sorry.

That's ok. I can understand how this sounds whiny and ungrateful.

The flowers simply symbolize how invisible I feel as a person to him.

 

[lavender]

 

[Monazwx]

It's not whiny or ungrateful. Get his undivided attention and tell him that you're a bit discouraged / disappointed by this, cause it sounds like the flowers aren't the only issue here. Include how much thought and feeling you put into the relationship and maybe he'll do the same.

 

[Rambling Rose]

Or....

you could tie him face down to the bed, use his asshole as a vase and walk out. It's just a thought.

 

[Vinny]

Good point

Unregistered I agree with you about this. If I knew who you were I would hug ya and buy the ones you like for you

 

[Ginny]

Or....you could tie him face down to the bed, use his asshole as a vase and walk out. It's just a thought.

<snort>

 

[april-wine]

Or....

you could tie him face down to the bed, use his asshole as a vase and walk out. It's just a thought.

Blushing Rose........you rock......Now can someone help me get the cornflakes outta my nose............

 

[Zamdrist]

<snort>

<snort><snort><snort>

 

[Rambling Rose]

What can I say? I'm full of good ideas lately...

 

[tlkshwqween]

OMG!!I would settle for dandylions from hubby!!!LOL!! Dear. everyone who answerd is right it is all about communciation and boy do I understand your problem you see it took a long tome for me to get hubby to buy me white shoulders which is really my favorite perfume but for the longest time all he wold get me is charlie!1 cuz thats all he thought women wore!!! MEN!! you cant' live with them and you cant kill them!!!LOL!

qweenie

 

[Zamdrist]

What can I say? I'm full of good ideas lately...

<Big Snort>

 

[Ginny]

<snort><snort><snort>

i can't triple snort at work...dammit....just lil baby snorts....

 

[VanB]

Unreg

Buying flowers is easy to do without thught so I agree 100% with your sentiments.

If it is a genuinely loving relationship (which it sounds like from your perspective) I would epect him to know what flowers you like or to take you to your favourite restaurant or buy you your favourite beauty treatment or something simple like picking flowers from the garden himself for you.

It's not about the value of the gift but the value of the thought that goes into it.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

<ducking my head as I enter the thread>

Listening is very important. The talk should center around listening... not so much the flowers. There seems to be other things to talk about too.. you seem a little unsure right now... lots to think about.

Sending flowers is a lot more difficult than grabbing a beer, sitting in front of the telly, burping and becoming oblivious to the rest of the world so there's some thought in there somewhere.

Good luck. <sending hugs instead of roses>