What's wrong with you?

[LittleJade]

What are those things in yourself that you dislike? What are your issues? What's your baggage made up of?



Gimme a moment, and I'll start.

 

[LittleJade]

I started this thread, because Sir mentioned to me, yet again, that he's very hard on himself... and it's something that I struggle with as well.

We are our own worst critics.


That being said, the flaws that I find in myself, Sir disagrees with, my honey disagrees with, etc... most of them, anyway. *grin* Some of them are genuine flaws, and well, duh, not one of us is perfect.

So, here goes:


I have Daddy issues. My dad's a jerk. It messes me up. I try to not let it bother me, but he's my dad.

I dislike my stomach. And my arms. I like the rest of me pretty well, though. And I'm working on those things i don't.

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If things mess with the system, I have my entire day thrown off. I really do try to not let that throw me off so much, but I feel off, I feel somewhat powerless, when things go differently than they should.

In BDSM situations, I have a jealous streak. I hate it. It's useless. It accomplishes nothing good. But it's there. In vanilla situations, I'm fine.

I think that'll do for now.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Flaws?

(I don't have any...seriously)

Actually I have a few different things that I work on all the time. I don't consider them flaws though, more like learning possibilities. SO, here they are in order of importance to my life's journey.

1. I have a helluva temper. I became involved in BDSM to learn control and for the most part, it's worked. There is a tendency (which I try mightily to control) for my temper to explode at the slightest things. It can be physical and I try not to allow it out often but...well I am still learning (outside of BDSM) to deal with vanilla temper tantrums.

2. I sometimes take cockiness to new levels. It's not conceit per se but my catch phrase is "I am not conceited, I am convinced...conceited people believe they are all that, convinced people know it." There is really nothing I can do about it, except try to keep that particular aspect of myself tamped down and only allow it out when I play..but it's hard!

3. I do NOT have an overabundance of compassion for others going through hard times, especially if I don't believe they are doing everything possible to get help and move on. It's a case of knowing what my past has been like and what I have done to overcome my own shortcomings. I feel like everyone should have the same kind of depth to do what needs to be done, as quickly as possible.

Damn, I am sure there are more but for the life of me I do not believe I can force myself to write em down!

 

[FurryFury]

I have that same hard on myself thing going on. I'm mostly easy on others but very hard on myself. This stems from childhood baggage in part.

I'm terrible at deciding I can and will do something, getting right in the middle of it and then finding out, shit, I can't do it. I truly hate myself when I pull one of those.

Under extreme stress/exhaustion/illness and or the perceived taking of shit from people, I get short tempered, and shit flies out of my mouth sometimes in the middle of walmart or anywhere else. It's like I'm possessed or something. This rarely happens but it's baaaad when it does.

It takes a LOT to get me mad but when I get mad it stays a while and it's bad. If you get physical with me I get nuts and I will respond in a physical way that will be ugly most of the time. It's like a switch is flipped and I'm fighting for my life or dignity. I'm working on that.

I HATE being negatively judged. My reaction will be a negative one to that and it will likely get worse. I think I'm being negatively judged sometimes even when I'm not. I hate being watched due to this.

Hell I'm working on all these things.

That's enough for now. Time to make lunch and wake the darlings.

 

[Recidiva]

I have migraines. Bad, horrible, hellish migraines. It means that like Persephone, I spend half my time in hell unwillingly. The only good thing about them is it used to be 9/10 of my time. It makes me irrational, moody, angry, weepy and in lots and lots of pain. It also cuts my IQ in half. The only good thing is it used to cut my IQ down to 1/10.

I'm extraordinarily sensitive to my environment. Normal sounds are too loud, normal smells induce migraines, normal anything seems to be...too much. I'm constantly out of sync with others because my experience of normal levels of anything is a huge overload on my perceptions. I try to maintain my sensitivity and increase my tolerance, but sometimes (most times) it's too much and I end up overwhelmed and wanting to hide in a closet somewhere.

I'm cold all the time. Like undead cold. It's 77 degrees in the room I'm in, and I'm wearing sweats, a jacket and fleece slippers. Low blood pressure.

 

[LadyAria]

Let me see:

I hate my mother. I hate the fact that I can't stop hating her because it means she still has an impact. It makes all the shows, commercials and movies with happy mother-daughter relationships put me in a homicidal mood.

I hate my upper arms. Why is there so much skin there? You cannot exercise or diet away fucking excess skin.

I hate my incredibly sensitive sense of smell. It can make elevators, crowds, public bathrooms, restaurants, candles, incense and gyms nauseating. Also, it makes me rush in certain meetings to get away from men who love to cologne choke their audience.

I hate I have issues with expressing genuine emotion. I am really good at faking a lot of things. I wish I was better at working with the real ones.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I have phone-phobia. I absolutely hate calling to make appointments to get the car fixed, lawn service, dr appts..anything. I don't even call friends very often. (or my Dom--which drives him crazy) I prefer IM or email whenever possible. I like to talk on the phone, I just don't like making the call. I always feel like I am calling at the wrong time, or I am inconviencing the person.

My thighs are too big. I really really nice long legs, I love being tall, my stomach is flat but my thighs are too big.

I'm needy and I crave attention. This is probably the worst thing. Even when I can understand that the people I love have more important issues than to give me attention, I can't help but need to hear that they think of me during the day.

 

[the captians wench]

I am terribly shy in person. I think there have been many opertunities lost, just for meeting people in general because I am so shy.

I'm way too hard on myself. I always feel like I'm not doing enough and want to do more, even when I'm doing everything I possibly can.

I'm a slob. Really. and it drives me nuts!

I can't seem to organize my own things, but at work I'm totally ocd about organization and everything going where it belongs.

I can be very needy. i do need lots of attention, and some times that can be misinterpreted.

 

[A Desert Rose]

What's wrong with me?

This thread would be 15 pages long before I got near finished answering...

 

[graceanne]

I'm a sucker for people in need.

I hate my body. Hate is actually too small a word for how much I hate my body. I try not to look at myself in a mirror, if at all possible.

I get very very angry about being sick.

I can be very very ditzy, and that infuriates me. And it also infuriates me when people remind me it's cause I'm ill. Calling me delicate infuriates me, too.

I'm a lousy driver.

I'm prideful.

I'm REALLY not a morning person. This is also an understatement.

I go TOO far to avoid confrontation, including lie. Childhood issues and all that, but my confrontation training as a child holds true.

 

[doveofserenity]

i am terribly shy. i can't tend to open up to others very well, real life or online.

i see myself as huge, fat, and ugly. But according to others in rl, i am not.

i tend to be the one to do everything for every one in real life, family wise; mom, bro, kids. And can never say "Stop, i need time for myself." That bugs me to no end.

Thats enough for now. Don't even know why i did this one, except as stress buster.

 

[HB1965]

I'm outrageous and blunt about what I think.

 

[HottieMama]

What do i think is wrong with me? Nothing. Yes, there are things i would like to change... Yes, my body isn't perfect, i curse like a sailor, i smoke etc... But i don't think they necessarily imply that something is wrong with me.

Hating myself and seeing all the "wrong" things is what drove me to drug addiction, irresponsible sexual behavior and compulsive overeating. i sincerely strive to focus on the positive.

 

[sexycaz22]

What's wrong with me?

1. my eyesight - have to wear specs

2. my scars - from my operations, while they were the scars which saved my life, literally, I hate wearing tops or swimming customes, where my scars are on show. But...lately, I have became used to them, since being with my play partner and he have seen the scars and seemed to be not too bothered by them, which did give my confidence a little boast.

3. my current job - is not entirely happy with my current job at the moment, as have been in the same job for 6 long years...and I am only 27...I need to get out of that job and doing what I really want to do...but hopefully it will happen within the next two years.

4. my flat - its not in the state I wanted it to be but its getting there...

...whoa...just realised...the things I used to think were wrong with me...are not really bad...

But there are times when I do get a little low, a bit depressed, because often I am on my lonesome during the nights, and I have not been in a long-term relationship for a long time. And I do crave and always dream of being in a long-term relationship with a lovely man. *sighs* Hopefully, it will happen for me soon.

 

[EmpressFi]

What's wrong with me

I'm stubborn

I'm possessive and jealous

I can be very gossipy at times

I'm 120lbs overweight and hate the way my arms look in anything shortsleeved.. and lets not even get started on my legs.. *shudders* For Malin and my Master ... I'm as big as an apartment complex of 1000 tenants and all their cats and 1 St Bernard... (that last part was for them.. to make them smile instead of /whap me for even thinking of posting in this thread)

I have a horrible temper and lash out with angry, hurtful words if I'm not careful.

I'm going prematurely gray.. and hate it. THANK GOD FOR MS CLAIROL!!!!

I'm a hick. I've fought it all my life, but never can get rid of the feeling that I'm just out of place in most public places

I have panic attacks in large crowds... especially in small places. If I cant have freedom to move.. I will break down mentally.. it's not pretty...

That's about it for now.. oh yeah..and I have brown eyes.. wish they were blue

 

[myinnerslut]

i have a slew of helath issues that i feel poweless over.... bipolar, migrianes, blood sugar issues, eysight

im getting abs, im at the gym al the time, i watch what i eat, and i still cant get that little stomach thing to be as flat as i like!!

i get jelouse sometimes

 

[TheBlackDahlia]

I have anxiety issues (panic attacks, hypochondria, social anxiety)

I sometimes feel like I'm too thin

I have trouble keeping friends

I tend to look at life as an endless competition

I'm easily annoyed

I sometimes wonder if I've made an impact on those I care about most

I have a hard time talking to the friends that I really want to spend more time with

I would make a shitty girlfriend, for countless reasons

 

[Chicklet]

i'm way too blunt. i have no filter to tell me what's right and wrong to say.

one of the things i probably worry too much over is my clingy personality and needy behavior. co-Dependant, i'd call myself.

 

[the captians wench]

hey if all of us needy clingy peps clung on to each other do you think we'd feel satisfied or would we bug the shit out of each other?


*giggles*

 

[Lilith]

I talk too much and often, when I should be listening.
I am too responsible which means I take blame for things that are at times out of my control.
I really like to have control.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I talk too much and often, when I should be listening.
I am too responsible which means I take blame for things that are at times out of my control.
I really like to have control.

Now I'm confused as I thought you were one in the same as LittleJade.

Catalina

 

[LadyAria]

Now I'm confused as I thought you were one in the same as LittleJade.

Catalina

Little Jade = MsLilith

 

[LittleJade]

Little Jade = MsLilith

Correct.

 

[LadyAria]

Correct.

Do I get a cookie or a least some bondage porn for my efforts?

 

[Lilith]

You get my gratitude.

I have been Lilith since I came to Lit.