What's wrong with me?

KinkyMuse

Virgin
Joined
Sep 20, 2012
Posts
15
Hi, I'm new here and I have a sexual issue I'd like to resolve if possible. It's about giving blow jobs. Right now I'm 35 and have always enjoyed giving oral to my previous boy friends. But now, I'm with the man that I love and will marry one day. For as long as we've been together, I've never been able been to perform oral on him because when I try to smell/taste his penis....it's repulsive to me. This is a totally unexpected reaction for me. I think perhaps that the medication he's on is affecting his scent and taste, but that isn't something we can tamper with. He must have his meds. I really want to do this for him and give him pleasure. But I want to enjoy it too. I've never asked him to give me oral because I honestly don't enjoy it. Is there anything I can do so I can get over this?
 
Kinky

Certainly an interesting question. Have you told him specifically of the issue? Is there a chance he can discuss it with his doctor? Perhaps an alternative medication would work for him. Often there are several different types of medications to address the same medical issue and if one causes some sort of crazy issue with body odor and taste there could be a switch possible. It seems odd that it's just his penis or his penis per se. I have heard that some medications can affect the scent and taste of sweat or overall body odor. I know that there are medications and foods that can affect the scent and taste of a woman's pussy but that's a bit of a different process. I know of supplements that can affect body scents much like garlic does. If that were the case, his entire body would be affected. There are also chemicals or foods that affect the taste and smell of semen itself. Even foods like asparagus can cause it to be "skunky" like it also does to urine. However, it seems strange that only his penis is affected unless it's something that is topically applied or injected directly into the penis.

I think he needs to know what your issues are and perhaps speak to his doctor. On the other hand, he could be (you didn't say) one of those men to whom oral sex is not that big of a deal. I'd guess, based on just some off hand comments I've heard over the years, that probably about one in four or one in five men doesn't care a hoot about oral sex or just plain doesn't like it. If you've been dating him long enough and seriously enough that he wants to marry you and you've never given him a blow job and he's never eaten your pussy, than it might not be that important to him. It could be more of your problem than his, but you won't know unless you talk openly about it. It would be like any issue going into marriage from sex to politics to religion to whether or not you like Chinese food. You need to know where each stands and if it would be a trigger point for tension. Good luck/
 
First you should talk to him about it. If your going to marry him, you have to tell him. The both of you should work it out together. It could be his meds or something else like the soap he is using.
 
Assuming it's not a hygiene problem (and I were the OP here, the first thing out of the gate is to shower together and then head downtown to see if it's just a soap and water issue) and assuming that the meds are either the problem or contributing greatly to the taste, then maybe the OP wants to try something like this:

Oral Sex Essentials Kit

Oral Sex Essentials Kit

Everything you need to give a great blowjob!

Blow your lover away with your new-found oral skills thanks to a little help from this handy oral sex kit!

The Oral Sex Essentials Kit includes:

Comfortable Numb Deep Throat Spray
Eliminate your gag reflex! Just spray this on the back of your throat before oral sex, and you won’t have to worry about a coughing fit when you try to deepthroat your lover! The desensitizing spray works by numbing and relaxing your nerves so you’ll finally be able to deepthroat your lover!

Head Job Oral Sex Lotion
If you like pleasing your lover but don’t like the taste of cock, then this strawberry flavored lube is perfect for you! The sweet-tasting lube covers your lover’s natural taste with a yummy flavor so you’ll enjoy licking him more than ever! Ingredients: Glycerin, Water (Aqua), Propylene Glycol, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, Tetrasodium EDTA, Sucralose, Sodium Citrate, Propylparaben, Methylparaben, Citric Acid, Red 40 (Cl#16035)

Flavored Moist Personal Lubricant
If your mouth’s feeling a little dry, then this delicious-tasting lube is just what you need! The strawberry-flavored lube makes his cock super slick to give him a super sloppy blowjob like one from straight out of an adult movie! Ingredients: Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Sodium Polymethacrylate, Flavor, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Sodium Benzoate, Carbomer, PEG-45M, Tetrasodium EDTA, Citric Acid, Tetrahydroxypropyl Ethylenedamin, Methylparaben, Diazolidryl Urea, Red 40, Red 33

BJ Blast Oral Sex Candy
This candy makes your blowjob blast off! The special candy pops and sizzles in your mouth, providing extra stimulation to give your blowjob an explosive finish! Ingredients: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Lactic Acid, Lactose, FD&C Red No. 40
 
If you're getting married then you have to find a way to bring this up to him to open up the doors of communication. I know it's hard but other things in the marriage are bound to come up and being able to talk about anything will go a long way to not only solving this problem but others in the future. I'm betting there is an answer.
 
Could it be an issue with genital hygiene? Has he been circumcised?

I do think that also contributes to it. He only showers every other day because he says he doesn't like it. I think he's just being lazy. But I'm fairly sure the meds have an effect also. I have no idea how to tell him about this without hurting his feelings. He takes what people say so strangely sometimes.
 
First you should talk to him about it. If your going to marry him, you have to tell him. The both of you should work it out together. It could be his meds or something else like the soap he is using.

I think it's a combo of his meds and being too lazy to shower regularly. But I don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. He's so sensitive about things.
 
I do think that also contributes to it. He only showers every other day because he says he doesn't like it. I think he's just being lazy. But I'm fairly sure the meds have an effect also. I have no idea how to tell him about this without hurting his feelings. He takes what people say so strangely sometimes.

I have to say this comment reminds me of a good friend with sensory integration issues/autism spectrum disorder who also hates to bathe. She gets overstimulated by the water and it kind of freaks her out. We also sometimes have a hard time talking with her about the times her every-other-day routine just isn't enough.

If you are planning to spend the rest of your life with this person, you're going to need to talk about it sooner or later, and the sooner the better. You don't want this to be a tiny barb that festers and eventually makes you resentful and no longer turned on by him.

When you do talk to him, put the emphasis on how sexy you find him and on how you want to be able to do this with him. Don't get into blame-mode, just try to work with him to find a solution you both can live with. If it comes down to only sucking him on the days he bathes, that might work. Just remember as you're talking about this that this is something you both want to make work. You're partners, not adversaries.
 
I think it's a combo of his meds and being too lazy to shower regularly. But I don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. He's so sensitive about things.

If you're going to be in a long-term relationship with him, you'll need to figure out how to talk about stuff like that; blowjobs are the least of the reasons.

If he is unwilling to exchange a shower for a blowjob, I suspect most people won't have a lot of sympathy for his predicament ;-)
 
There are a lot of flavored gels Doc Johnson Good Head, or Masque. Masque is like a flavored strip you let dissolve on your tongue. I'm not sure it's allowed to recommend products, but that's my 2 cents.
 
If he is not circumcised this could be the problem. Especially since he doesnt like to shower. Just gently tell him sweetie, I know you don't like to bathe everyday, but(if he is circumcised) you are going to have to wash that area if you want me to do oral. Urine will build up under the skin and that could be the taste and smell you are experiencing, That is enough to make you grossed out.
 
My penis seems to have a bit of a fishy smell. I can bath and bath and wash and wash and it still smells a little fishy to me (I grab the end of it with my hand just below the head o fthe penis and I smell my hand). Anyway, I found out that the skin loation they give away in the hotels works wonders in masking this smell. It is a typically a neutral scent that women usually like.

I do not want to subject someone to smelling a fishy odor as they perform oral on me.
 
What medication is he taking?

It could be that, although I'm also guessing his hygiene habits are the real culprit. Or maybe it's a combination of the two, like if a side effect of the medication is increased sweating, plus he's not bathing enough (or cleaning his junk properly when he does shower).

For potential solutions, you could say that you understand he's not crazy about showering, but you'd find it super arousing to shower together (maybe insert something about getting all slippery together, licking/sucking water off of his cock, etc.). Once you know he's clean, you should be able to get a better idea of whether the main culprit is medication- or hygiene-related.

Another approach is to express concern over his health. Some infections can come with an off-putting odor. This would require being honest about noticing a distinct smell and taste, and you might suggest washing his genitals before intimacy would be the first step in narrowing down the potential causes (sweat/superficial bacteria, his medication, an infection, etc.) You can stress that you love the natural scent of his body in general, but you're concerned there might be an underlying cause that needs to be addressed medically. You can note that you're bringing it up because if the situation were reversed, you'd absolutely want him to alert you to any problems so you could check them out.

I totally agree that you need to be able to communicate about difficult subjects like this before you consider getting married. However, if there's still a problem when he's freshly clean, the medication is very unlikely to be the cause and infection has been ruled out, you can certainly go the masking route. I don't think any special sex-specific products are required for this one, especially since they're typically way overpriced and packed with unhealthy ingredients. If you agree, you could give things like mints, PopRocks, or anything with a stronger flavor that you enjoy a go. Just be sure to clean his cock off before it goes anywhere near your pussy so your flavor fun doesn't result in an infection for you!

Best of luck, and I hope you'll keep us posted on how it goes! :rose:
 
What medication is he taking?

It could be that, although I'm also guessing his hygiene habits are the real culprit. Or maybe it's a combination of the two, like if a side effect of the medication is increased sweating, plus he's not bathing enough (or cleaning his junk properly when he does shower).

For potential solutions, you could say that you understand he's not crazy about showering, but you'd find it super arousing to shower together (maybe insert something about getting all slippery together, licking/sucking water off of his cock, etc.). Once you know he's clean, you should be able to get a better idea of whether the main culprit is medication- or hygiene-related.

Another approach is to express concern over his health. Some infections can come with an off-putting odor. This would require being honest about noticing a distinct smell and taste, and you might suggest washing his genitals before intimacy would be the first step in narrowing down the potential causes (sweat/superficial bacteria, his medication, an infection, etc.) You can stress that you love the natural scent of his body in general, but you're concerned there might be an underlying cause that needs to be addressed medically. You can note that you're bringing it up because if the situation were reversed, you'd absolutely want him to alert you to any problems so you could check them out.

I totally agree that you need to be able to communicate about difficult subjects like this before you consider getting married. However, if there's still a problem when he's freshly clean, the medication is very unlikely to be the cause and infection has been ruled out, you can certainly go the masking route. I don't think any special sex-specific products are required for this one, especially since they're typically way overpriced and packed with unhealthy ingredients. If you agree, you could give things like mints, PopRocks, or anything with a stronger flavor that you enjoy a go. Just be sure to clean his cock off before it goes anywhere near your pussy so your flavor fun doesn't result in an infection for you!

Best of luck, and I hope you'll keep us posted on how it goes! :rose:

I will keep everyone posted for sure. Going to attempt positive communication tonight.
 
Here is an update for everyone. Yesterday was our 8 months anniversary and I was feeling VERY frisky and that when he got home from work expect to be molested in a pleasant way. So he comes home and we're beginning to get intimate when I mentioned that I'd like him to take a shower so I could give him oral. He asked why and said he'd taken a shower yesterday. So I was honest and told him that I would be more inclined to give him oral if he showered daily and maintained better hygiene. I told him that it's out of thoughtfulness for each other that we should be clean when we want to be intimate so it's a more enjoyable experience for both of us. He grumbled a bit, but went to take a shower. He understood my reasoning though, which I'm glad for. Hopefully we can make this a positive habit. *fingers crossed*
 
Good for you for communicating! :)

So the oral was fine after the shower, and it was a hygiene issue after all?

We always shower if oral might be in the cards. The fact is, the genital area tends to collect sweat and give odor-causing bacteria a great place to set up shop because it's warm, moist and dark most of the time. So even if one showers in the morning, there can be an off-putting odor by the same afternoon or evening, depending on activity level and a bunch of other factors.

Anyway, if it ever comes up again, you might mention the above and suggest starting your play in the shower as an extra incentive. :D
 
Good for you for communicating! :)

So the oral was fine after the shower, and it was a hygiene issue after all?

We always shower if oral might be in the cards. The fact is, the genital area tends to collect sweat and give odor-causing bacteria a great place to set up shop because it's warm, moist and dark most of the time. So even if one showers in the morning, there can be an off-putting odor by the same afternoon or evening, depending on activity level and a bunch of other factors.

Anyway, if it ever comes up again, you might mention the above and suggest starting your play in the shower as an extra incentive. :D

It would seem that his oral hygiene played a big part in the unpleasantness. After he'd bathed it was perfectly fine and we both very much enjoyed it. After resting a bit, we went for round two and he lasted a loooong time. I was quite pleased. I did notice that his semen had a very off putting bleachy taste. Not sure what that's about. I also think that he may have some sensory issues he usually doesn't last more than a minute if I'm lucky. Since he doesn't like to be tickled and the slightest touch to him he says feels 'weird'. He said it helps to use a condom since it makes him less sensitive.
 
I have to say this comment reminds me of a good friend with sensory integration issues/autism spectrum disorder who also hates to bathe. She gets overstimulated by the water and it kind of freaks her out. We also sometimes have a hard time talking with her about the times her every-other-day routine just isn't enough.

KinkyMuse said:
Since he doesn't like to be tickled and the slightest touch to him he says feels 'weird'.

These two points remind me of an old girlfriend. She had Asperger's. Sometimes simply caressing her arm would be enough to make her "tickle" and cringe all over. Other times, it was fine. Things like that made intimacy a real challenge.

As for bathing, he might feel very uncomfortable in the water. My old girlfriend had no problem with showers, but going swimming? Taking a long leisurely bath? Forget it. No way. She couldn't stand the thought.

Anyway, here's my point: If he has issues like this, you might have to remind him every single day to take a shower. It's not that he doesn't want to please you; it just might not occur to him that he needs to do it, or he knows he should but he hates the feeling so much that he will avoid it if he can get away with it. You might have to be really patient while he adjusts.

The fact that you are so understanding will go a LONG way toward making him more comfortable with the idea and creating a more enjoyable experience for both of you.
 
These two points remind me of an old girlfriend. She had Asperger's. Sometimes simply caressing her arm would be enough to make her "tickle" and cringe all over. Other times, it was fine. Things like that made intimacy a real challenge.

As for bathing, he might feel very uncomfortable in the water. My old girlfriend had no problem with showers, but going swimming? Taking a long leisurely bath? Forget it. No way. She couldn't stand the thought.

Anyway, here's my point: If he has issues like this, you might have to remind him every single day to take a shower. It's not that he doesn't want to please you; it just might not occur to him that he needs to do it, or he knows he should but he hates the feeling so much that he will avoid it if he can get away with it. You might have to be really patient while he adjusts.

The fact that you are so understanding will go a LONG way toward making him more comfortable with the idea and creating a more enjoyable experience for both of you.

When we first started dating, I had the strangest inkling that he might have Aspergers. So I did some research on the symptoms and he came up positive for nearly every one. I mentioned it to him casually one day and he got very upset with me. That he said that just because he was different didn't mean something was wrong with him. Which I wasn't implying at all. I was trying to better understand him. Now, months later, I'm 100% certain he does have it. But I'm not bringing it up again. He takes things people say so strangely. As if he thinks everything is an attack on him. I have the feeling that wasn't the first time someone had mentioned it to him.
 
When we first started dating, I had the strangest inkling that he might have Aspergers. So I did some research on the symptoms and he came up positive for nearly every one. I mentioned it to him casually one day and he got very upset with me. That he said that just because he was different didn't mean something was wrong with him. Which I wasn't implying at all. I was trying to better understand him. Now, months later, I'm 100% certain he does have it. But I'm not bringing it up again. He takes things people say so strangely. As if he thinks everything is an attack on him. I have the feeling that wasn't the first time someone had mentioned it to him.

You're right...there's nothing "wrong" with him. He's just different, which isn't a bad thing at all. :)

I wouldn't bring it up again, either. But do research into it (as you already have) and use what you learn to help you deal with his quirks. He's very lucky to have someone who is going to such great lengths to understand him.
 
You're right...there's nothing "wrong" with him. He's just different, which isn't a bad thing at all. :)

I wouldn't bring it up again, either. But do research into it (as you already have) and use what you learn to help you deal with his quirks. He's very lucky to have someone who is going to such great lengths to understand him.

It's just because I love him so very much. I've never met someone I'm so compatible with and I'm enjoying learning about him. We'll work out the 'kinks' along the way.
 
late?

This is a rather late answer to your question. There is nothing whatever wrong with you and it bothers this old guy that you put it that way. HE has a problem and it is good of you to help him achieve a solution so that you have a win-win.
 
This is a rather late answer to your question. There is nothing whatever wrong with you and it bothers this old guy that you put it that way. HE has a problem and it is good of you to help him achieve a solution so that you have a win-win.

Thanks, I have a tendency to blame myself in an illogical way. If I can't fix it, I go into apology mode and assume it's all my fault. Which I know is silly.
 
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