What's the appeal - - Honestly

[DeMont]

Writing fictional erotic scenes allows us as authors to show why certain sexual acts or kinks appeal to our characters. The purpose of this thread is to allow us to explain why any particular act appeals to us in real life.

No judgement, just honest disclosure among the community members in the hopes that understanding why others find something appealing might get translated into more credible writing when the particular act appears in a story.

I’ll start…

Facials/Body Painting:

The appeal to me has changed somewhat over the years.

As a teen, the appeal was lessening the chance of getting some girl pregnant. I know, not the most reliable approach, but fortunately, it worked for me.

As I got older, and particularly after my vasectomy, the appeal became more of a practical one. Simply put, it made it easier for the girl/woman to clean up after the fact. If we planned to continue our escapades, starting fresh was appealing. (Then there was also the reduced risk of leaving any trace DNA evidence behind.)

@BobbyBrandt,
Hello my dear colleague. If I am going to pick one out I'm going to say "Fisting".
My ex was really into that and I, being a true gentleman, always oblige the ladies. She would get such a rush out of it, extremely strong orgasms and her favourite, chokingly, gasped line just before "that" moment was, "You so own me!"
Not bad for the old ego, the concept of slavish surrender and ownership.
Deepest respects,
D.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

I dont like catching pubes in my mouth.

I think that's just part of the fun lol

 

[SissyBrandi19]

Writing fictional erotic scenes allows us as authors to show why certain sexual acts or kinks appeal to our characters. The purpose of this thread is to allow us to explain why any particular act appeals to us in real life.

No judgement, just honest disclosure among the community members in the hopes that understanding why others find something appealing might get translated into more credible writing when the particular act appears in a story.

I’ll start…

Facials/Body Painting:

The appeal to me has changed somewhat over the years.

As a teen, the appeal was lessening the chance of getting some girl pregnant. I know, not the most reliable approach, but fortunately, it worked for me.

As I got older, and particularly after my vasectomy, the appeal became more of a practical one. Simply put, it made it easier for the girl/woman to clean up after the fact. If we planned to continue our escapades, starting fresh was appealing. (Then there was also the reduced risk of leaving any trace DNA evidence behind.)

OK, I'll participate. How about the kink of the "hate-fuck"?

This is a kink that for me is based on the idea of trust. I value trust over anything a person can give me. If a person were to tell me "I love you" I would be unable to relax, certainly would not ever be able to sleep, around that person. My over-riding thought would be - this is a goddamn liar who also thinks I'm stupid. How and when does this person intend to murder me?

However, if someone were to say, "I hate you" then I know they are being totally honest, respect me enough to be honest, and that I can be myself and relaxed around them.

 

[iwatchus]

I value trust over anything a person can give me. If a person were to tell me "I love you" I would be unable to relax, certainly would not ever be able to sleep, around that person. My over-riding thought would be - this is a goddamn liar who also thinks I'm stupid. How and when does this person intend to murder me?

I have to bite. Do you really not believe people cannot be in love? Or that you're somehow not lovable?

I would find that sad. I am a big believer in love. And my stories certainly reflect that.

I'm sorry and I'm not trying to start an argument or something, but I really don't understand being that jaded.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

I can't speak for SissyBrandi19, so IDK what her answer would be, but for myself, even though I love people and I know that people love each other, I struggle to believe that anyone could love me. I think that's fairly common, actually, for people who had iffy childhoods.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I can't speak for SissyBrandi19, so IDK what her answer would be, but for myself, even though I love people and I know that people love each other, I struggle to believe that anyone could love me. I think that's fairly common, actually, for people who had iffy childhoods.

Love needs action
Trust needs proof
Sorry needs change

 

[Roleplay_Hugo_UK]

My very neurospicy brain first read this and thought "how does using body paint during sexytimes reduce the risk of pregnancy" and then after a few moments it clicked.

On-topic: Starting out with the caveat that I'm aware that my own personal kink of exhibitionism/voyeurism is very much a product of the fairly prudish American society I grew up in and I know that there isn't quite as much of a stigma for exposed human flesh in other societies around the world.

One of my favorite things to do is just sit on a bench or at a table and just people watch. I think this just comes with growing up in New York City and watching all the hustle and bustle. Most of the time it's just fun to see the different types of people pass by. But when you do it often enough, sometimes you'll see something that you're probably not meant to see... like why is that woman clearly not wearing a bra? Why is that guy definitely going commando? Oh, someone bent over, h-elllooooooo. Then you wonder why they made that choice and the circumstances leading up to that choice and sometimes that can be exciting.

People watching is the best and I absolutely agree about the sexual signals aspect…
I would add how much other senses, especially smell comes into it too. Inhale when you pass a person you’re alert to sexually. I feel that when you walk into the world with “I have been fucking” chemicals coming off your skin, it’s a subtly different place.

 

[Roleplay_Hugo_UK]

Love needs action
Trust needs proof
Sorry needs change

Very cool. I don’t remember reading/hearing this before.

 

[Erozetta]

I can't speak for SissyBrandi19, so IDK what her answer would be, but for myself, even though I love people and I know that people love each other, I struggle to believe that anyone could love me. I think that's fairly common, actually, for people who had iffy childhoods.

Same.

It's a little difficult to convince people they are lovable when they were regularly treated like shit by the people who are supposed to love and protect them. Years of being told you aren't good enough and/or weren't wanted and/or were a burden for having basic needs around survival as a child (I'm not even talking being cared for at an emotional level, but like, actually being fed and such.) and learning to fend for yourself to try to survive is a lot of damage to undo.

Trust isn't freely given by people who were in that situation because it can be dangerous to trust the wrong people when you're already vulnerable.

 

[Erozetta]

OK, I'll participate. How about the kink of the "hate-fuck"?

This is a kink that for me is based on the idea of trust. I value trust over anything a person can give me. If a person were to tell me "I love you" I would be unable to relax, certainly would not ever be able to sleep, around that person. My over-riding thought would be - this is a goddamn liar who also thinks I'm stupid. How and when does this person intend to murder me?

However, if someone were to say, "I hate you" then I know they are being totally honest, respect me enough to be honest, and that I can be myself and relaxed around them.

The "hate fuck" also tends to be rather full of anger, and sometimes it's the only safe outlet for such anger, which is thrilling. Particularly if the only emotion you were permitted to express was joy and everything else had to be swallowed back down, which forced you to internalize it and direct all of that raw, unwanted emotion toward yourself.

This mindset is part of why I find it easier to take criticism of my writing than praise. Criticism feels more honest because I know they aren't just saying what I want to hear, which makes me put more weight into their words. Praise is hollow and empty to me. Criticism means someone is paying attention and has some interest in helping me do better, and I'm constantly striving to do better.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

Anger can actually be a very intimate emotion. Sure, sometimes you express it to someone because you don't care if they never see you again, but if it's someone you also love you can't express anger except to the degree that you trust them to stay with you afterwards.

Edit: Sorry, not very clear perhaps. Trying to say that if you need someone in your life, you can only express anger at them to the extent that you trust them. In that sense it's something that requires a lot of trust, which means in a way it's intimate.

 

[big_cane_sugar]

I don't have any experience of the hate fuck but I wonder if it has something like the energy of make-up sex or of "we know this is a bad idea but we can't help wanting each other" sex.

 

[Erozetta]

Anger can actually be a very intimate emotion. Sure, sometimes you express it to someone because you don't care if they never see you again, but if it's someone you also love you can't express anger except to the degree that you trust them to stay with you afterwards.

Edit: Sorry, not very clear perhaps. Trying to say that if you need someone in your life, you can only express anger at them to the extent that you trust them. In that sense it's something that requires a lot of trust, which means in a way it's intimate.

It's also something you can easily lose control of and cross lines with.

It takes a lot to piss me off to the point that I'll express it anywhere but toward myself. In fact, as far as I can recall, it's happened exactly once in my life.

 

[Erozetta]

I don't have any experience of the hate fuck but I wonder if it has something like the energy of make-up sex or of "we know this is a bad idea but we can't help wanting each other" sex.

It certainly can.

There's also a cross element between the two of "We will never speak of this again once it's done."

 

[SissyBrandi19]

I have to bite. Do you really not believe people cannot be in love? Or that you're somehow not lovable?

I would find that sad. I am a big believer in love. And my stories certainly reflect that.

I'm sorry and I'm not trying to start an argument or something, but I really don't understand being that jaded.

I do believe those things. And I have all the data in the world to back it up. I can tell you privately if you are curious. I don't mind.

 

[redgarters]

I came into this thread smiling and am leaving it sad and angry.

 

[Britva415]

I came into this thread smiling and am leaving it sad and angry.

I’m the opposite, I read the title and winced, thinking to myself “How is this not going to just be an open invitation to kink-shame,” and have been pleasantly surprised at how little of that has taken place.

 

[NuclearFairy]

I like to have my face and body painted. And no not with cum, that does nothing for me. Although, I'm not really against it either.

But, just closing my eyes, and feeling the sponge covered in make up slowly drifting across my face, not knowing what he's doing but knowing it'll be pretty. It's just so relaxing and puts me into a whole nother state of mind. And then if we have privacy for him to paint more of my skin. Laying there naked, being his canvas as he moves my body around, and applies the dabs and streaks and blendings, it drops me into that same zen head space, while also being incredibly arousing.

 

[DeMont]

I like to have my face and body painted. And no not with cum, that does nothing for me. Although, I'm not really against it either.

But, just closing my eyes, and feeling the sponge covered in make up slowly drifting across my face, not knowing what he's doing but knowing it'll be pretty. It's just so relaxing and puts me into a whole nother state of mind. And then if we have privacy for him to paint more of my skin. Laying there naked, being his canvas as he moves my body around, and applies the dabs and streaks and blendings, it drops me into that same zen head space, while also being incredibly arousing.

@NuclearFairy,
Not really big on sharing too much my dear colleague but might I suggest chocolate body paint then have the S.O. lick it off? Just... um... a suggestion for, y'know, an added... dimension. I think I'll just get back in my box now if that's okay with you?
Respectfully, as always,
D.

 

[Erozetta]

@NuclearFairy,
Not really big on sharing too much my dear colleague but might I suggest chocolate body paint then have the S.O. lick it off? Just... um... a suggestion for, y'know, an added... dimension. I think I'll just get back in my box now if that's okay with you?
Respectfully, as always,
D.

It's not the same.

Chocolate body paint tends to be streaky, tastes gross, and can stain skin.

It's also hard to work with and can get dusty/crumbly when it dries.

In theory, it's a fun thing to play with. In practice, it's pretty meh.

I've been drawn on and painted on with edible body paint, markers, pens, and acrylics (both full strength, which I don't recommend, and watered down), no regular body paint yet, but those are fun and pretty relaxing. They also allow for a kind of intimacy which is all about trust that your partner won't draw a bunch of dicks on you.

 

[iwatchus]

It's not the same.

I think it is a different almost completely unrelated kink. I think I understand @NuclearFairy desire, although neither me nor any of my intimate partners have had that desire, I think I understand it from her description.

In my experience, the gooey foods have been meh, but I think it is because my limited experiences have also not included anyone who got turned on by either role in that one. But I did just write a whole story driven by MC's fetish for having cream filling smeared over her and licked off, so I believe they exist. Maybe the most realistic part of the story, which is a VERY low bar for that particular piece of absurdity.

 

[MillieDynamite]

In the movies, eating food off another person looks oh, so sexy. In practice, it's all sloppy, filled with giggles, epic failures, messy sheets, and a bit of, "It looked a lot more fun than it is."

I think it is a different almost completely unrelated kink. I think I understand @NuclearFairy desire, although neither me nor any of my intimate partners have had that desire, I think I understand it from her description.

In my experience, the gooey foods have been meh, but I think it is because my limited experiences have also not included anyone who got turned on by either role in that one. But I did just write a whole story driven by MC's fetish for having cream filling smeared over her and licked off, so I believe they exist. Maybe the most realistic part of the story, which is a VERY low bar for that particular piece of absurdity.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I like to have my face and body painted. And no not with cum, that does nothing for me. Although, I'm not really against it either.

But, just closing my eyes, and feeling the sponge covered in make up slowly drifting across my face, not knowing what he's doing but knowing it'll be pretty. It's just so relaxing and puts me into a whole nother state of mind. And then if we have privacy for him to paint more of my skin. Laying there naked, being his canvas as he moves my body around, and applies the dabs and streaks and blendings, it drops me into that same zen head space, while also being incredibly arousing.

For one of our earlier anniversaries, my wife bought us a a body paint package for couples. It came with a plastic sheet and a large blank canvas. The idea was for the couple to apply paint to each other and then lie on the canvas as they made love. We had that "painting" hanging prominently our house until we sold the house and moved. It actually turned out quite nice.

 

[iwatchus]

In the movies, eating food off another person looks oh, so sexy. In practice, it's all sloppy, filled with giggles, epic failures, messy sheets, and a bit of, "It looked a lot more fun than it is."

I have been in that trying and giggling a lot interaction. Neither one of us got really turned on by it, but I could imagine being so. Some kinks I can imagine having, others not so much, Food play is one of the ones I could imagine having.Maybe it never works as well as the image, I don't know.

 

[MillieDynamite]

The one foodie thing that worked for us was twin whipped cream pussies à la Mode. A lot of whipped cream, a dollop of ice cream, and tongues on fire.

I have been in that trying and giggling a lot interaction. Neither one of us got really turned on by it, but I could imagine being so. Some kinks I can imagine having, others not so much, Food play is one of the ones I could imagine having.Maybe it never works as well as the image, I don't know.