What's She (or He) Saying? Redeux

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"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you were coming by today to
clean the pool. I was just about to get in the shower.
Do you, umm, by any chance clean showers too? My
shower is really, really naughty. I mean ... dirty."
 

"Would you mind fucking him for me please? I just fucked him three months ago
and I have to be somewhere in twenty minutes. I should warn you that I don't
allow him to masturbate so he's probably not going to last very long for you. You
don't even need to get undressed. You could probably pop him with just your feet
if you want because he's a total fucking pervert and will do anything you tell him."
 
I need your opinion: Are these or are these not the smoothest, shiniest stockings ever? The clerk in the store said they were but I'm not convinced. Come here, feel them and tell me what you think.
Coco (Vanna White) walks in to the Bundy household with the pizza Al ordered. As Al wolfs it down and complains, Bud, Kelly and Peggy are amazed Coco is really there. Bud kneels down and examines her legs, running his hands up one.

Bud: 'Hey, you guys need to check out these stockings, I think they're real silk'
Coco: 'I'm not wearing stockings'.
Bud, Kelly and Peg together: 'Whoa!!!'
 
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"Who me? No. I was just hoping you'd pull those weird pantyhose off and throw them away."
 
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