What would you do, how would you feel?

[bluntforcemama]

If someone killed themselves over what you might have said or done to them? I know a member who's so tired of the unregistered trolls (that's what was the breaking point in a long line of things), that he actually doesn't care about his own life. I think this was the shove he needed... in particular, one mean thing that was said is sticking in his mind.

So when will we learn to walk through life doing as little damage as possible to others?

 

[lavender]

 

[Guest]

Myst,
Unfortunately we can't control what others say or type but we can control our reactions. If this board if contributing to suicidal thoughts and tendencies, I would hope the person would discontinue participation. Your compassion, while very important, is not going to change other folks. If your friend is contemplating suicide, I'm thinking he or she was predisposed to these feelings prior to unregistered trolls and hurtful remarks. All you can do is be who you are and offer support. I hope the affected friend finds help, soon. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

blessings,
Susan

 

[Thumper]

I am sorry your friend is hurting.

But his problem goes deeper than some unregistered troll.

Trolls have no power or significance unless we choose to give them such.

Several years ago some parents tried to blame an Ozzie Osborne song for the suicides of their teenage sons. Like those kids had no problems at all until they heard that song. As cluless as those parents were it is no wonder they were surprised at the deaths of their kids.

Not that the comments of a few idiots aren't hurtful, but you have to be in a deep depression already for them to drive you to that extreme.

I deal with those demons daily...sometimes you need help. Help him.

 

[Never]

I've always thought that most suicides were cowardly ways to die.

Nothing I say or do can force another person's reaction, short of threatening them with physical harm or loss of livelihood. No matter what I do people make their own choices in the end and if that choice means killing themselves I'll only feel pity for them.

 

[Purple Haze]

This is a bulletin board, it's a place where people voice opinions openly (some do).

For me and many others it's a halloween party of sorts. You don't know me, you don't know where I live, you don't know what I look like, you don't know where I work. I like it that way.

I have a mask on, I call it "Purple Haze." This doesn't mean I'm lying about anything here (I'm not lying), it means I'm not telling you the whole truth. I'm here to have fun, not tell you what I ate for breakfast, and not to find love. If something I post makes someone giggle, it makes me feel good. If someone begs to be flamed, let me see what I can come up with.

I'll be goddamned if I ever take this bulletin board so seriously that I lose sleep over whether or not so-and-so likes me, or so-and-so thinks I'm weird. If it ever happens, somebody please shoot me.

This is not important stuff.

 

[April]

Thumper's right. If someone is in a depressed state, and this board makes it worse, they need to leave immediately. Also speaking from personal experience, I know this to be true.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Of course his problem is more than the troll, but the troll was the breaking point. Apparently he said something that reall stuck with him. He's not here anymore, he hasn't been for a while. But talking to him day after day tells me that he hasn't forgotten it. So the troll isn't the sole reason, but what if it's that breaking point that pushed him over the edge?

 

[TN_Vixen]

if something the troll said bothers him that much then I would be concerned about 2 things.

1. That he's afraid the troll was right but is unconsciously hiding that fact.
2. He has so little self-confidence that he bought into whatever cruel thing the troll said.

Either way he needs some psych help pronto.

 

[Never]

Myst:
"So the troll isn't the sole reason, but what if it's that breaking point that pushed him over the edge?"

Then he shouldn't have been here in the first place. Anyone in that fragile of a state should be going to therapy or dealing with their problems. Not spending hours on end in front of a computer talking to people that don't know him and that he doesn't know.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The world's got trolls, psycho twats, and "dance for me" dopes galore. My skin is thick and nothing typed will ever hurt me. But that's me. I know others can be damaged. XxplorHer, KidRock, dee cole, Dave73, Fake Name and a dozen other registered and unregistered users have played the "fuck with" game and actually hurt people, which is why I give them grief, even when they're posting "nice". I'd rather they concentrate on me than someone less able to deal.

But, I wouldn't blame any of them for driving someone to suicide. Make them cry, leave Literotica, etc. yes -- but not suicide. If someone actually does that they were already walking down that road.

 

[TN_Vixen]

psycho twat

hehe ... that's gonna be my new title

 

[Guest]

Actually, it's not uncommon for folks to seek connection online. EVERYONE comes here for a reason, whether it be entertainment, connection, or boredom.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

psycho twat hehe ... that's gonna be my new title

LOL

But XxplorHer's gonna be mad.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Actually, it's not uncommon for folks to seek connection online. EVERYONE comes here for a reason, whether it be entertainment, connection, or boredom.

Actually I come here to stalk people.
PC is next since he didn't list me in the "crush" thread

 

[Guest]

Is it stalking if I beg for it?
I'm taking applications for a stalker, Vixen!



I'm here to prove my existence.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

If someone killed themselves over what you might have said or done to them?

I do know someone like that - she uses suicide threats to get others attention. Yes I did and said things to her that were not nice, and yes I was selfish and immature at the time. But that was not the root of her problems.

How do I feel about how I acted? Bad, but I no longer beat myself up about it because I have long since paid my dues in that respect, and what I said, while not nice, was the truth.

Do I detest trolls in their cowardice and spite? Yes. I wish there was some way to get rid of them, but on an adult board where people want to maintain their anonymity makes that almost impossible. Are they partly responsible for hurt feelings or worse? Sure. But people who so highly vulnerable to such hurt need to avoid the venues where such crap can happen - and more importantly, they need counseling.

So when will we learn to walk through life doing as little damage as possible to others?

Most of us try to do that already - unfortunately there are a few that will never grow up.

 

[TN_Vixen]

I see you over there... shakin' that ass.. shakin' that ass...

I'm really not this flaky. Really? Really.

I think I've been driving too much lately.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[LadyDarkFire]

I hope your friend gets better Myst. Depression, and other such illnesses that can push a person to that point, are very hard to deal with. I'm sure having a caring friend like yourself really helps this person. Friends are one of the best things to have when you are hurting (chocolate also helps) and being a good friend just shows how special a soul you truely are.

 

[freakygirl]

Myst, this truely is sad..

sad on the suicide thinking part.. and the letting the board (trolls) bother him/her..

I have no words to comfort this person, i have no idea what to say. I wish there was a magical way of making a person feel better. I think the person should take a break (permanatly or temporarily) from here. See if that would help.

This person must have other issues in life that are bothering him/her. Maybe a therapist is the only answer. i don't know, i know if something is bothering me, help is something i would try to seek NOT death. I know it's hard sometimes to admit we aren't all right.. but this person needs to take the steps to help him/her self... before ANY of US can help them..

*quietly walks out of this thread*

 

[Comshaw]

posted by Myst:
What would you do, how would you feel?
If someone killed themselves over what you might have said or done to them? I know a member who's so tired of the unregistered trolls (that's what was the breaking point in a long line of things), that he actually doesn't care about his own life. I think this was the shove he needed... in particular, one mean thing that was said is sticking in his mind.

So when will we learn to walk through life doing as little damage as possible to others?

A quote from a movie I've watched several times comes to mind,"You have no power over me." That's from the movie Labyrinth when the young girl learns the Goblin King has only the power she allows him to have.
Your friends reaction to the trolls is a symptom, not the problem. He needs help to find where the real problem is. I suspect that what ever was said that has stuck in his mind hit a nerve and probably is causing him great pain. Not because of what was said, but because of what was already there.
Troll's are nasty ass people that get off on trying to hurt other's, that is true. But they have only as much power as we allow them to have. Tell your friend to please see a professional therapist. Take it from someone that knows, it helps and it's the best, if not quickest, way to ease the pain.
Do I believe we should tip toe through life so as not to tread on others feelings? Nope. We should be aware of how others feel, but we should not take responsibly for how they feel. I can not make anyone feel one way or the other. That is their own doing. Most times what is said is only a spotlight for some damage done long before. We all carry some such with in us to one degree or another. The more we are burdened, the easier it is for a chance comment to hurt.

posted by Never:
I've always thought that most suicides were cowardly ways to die.

Never darlin' do me a big favor? Live a while longer and become familiar with human nature before you post opinions like this? Open your eyes and look at what is, not what you think it should be.

Cowardly, is facing sure death and whimpering about it. Cowardly is not understanding what pain can do to some one. Cowardly is rubbing salt into wounds.
Suicide cowardly? Not hardly. It's unendurable pain, pure and simple.
Most suicides are because the person is hurting bad enough to want a final end to the pain. That pain can be physical or emotional. Just because some have never experienced emotional trauma of that magnitude, does not mean others haven't, or that they can endure that pain.
I'm done.

Comshaw

 

[Svedish_Chef]

A quote from a movie I've watched several times comes to mind,"You have no power over me." That's from the movie Labyrinth when the young girl learns the Goblin King has only the power she allows him to have.

Really?


Damn, I have no power over her, I have no power over her.

 

[faith]

my two cents worth...

myst, I am one of those people that actively avoid the threads that invite flaming. I thank God for the DLC's that take the heat and thrive on it. It would run me off the BB pronto but not to suicide.

Your friend sounds depressed. Depression is a treatable medical condition. Talk him or her into going for a medical check-up. It can make a world of difference. It's important that the share these thoughts with a professional who can help them...

 

[YogiBare]

Myst

I agree that your friend is suffering from a serious clinical depression and needs help from a qualified, licensed mental health professional.

Your point is still a good one, though. Why put more hate out into the world? Isn't there enough pain already?

Besides, what goes around comes around.

YB