What men get wrong

[Handley_Page]

. . . . .also represents to us women's innate ability to communicate very, very clear messages to men without actually using the words they are thinking, such as the woman says "Vanilla" when she is really saying "I can't believe you are such a stupid idiot, and I married you and still years later am still with you."

I realise that I may be taking this out of context, so to speak, but I disagree. It is a rare woman who can and does say what she means. Even rarer is the one who can do that in a "friendly" way (as opposed to domineering).

 

[bronzeage]

Is that why all my favorite smut writers are women? Whodda thunk?

Could be. I prefer women writers, myself.

I think it is because I write for women. I get a few emails and comments from men, but it's about one out of a hundred.

There has always been a debate about porn for men vs. porn for women. I think the main difference between the two is women prefer the fantasy elements to be in the circumstances and the situation, not the physical. Body measurements, whether bra size or cock length are just not that important to the story.

If someone wants characters who are so extraordinarily outside the average, they can write Super Friends fanfic porn.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I realise that I may be taking this out of context, so to speak, but I disagree. It is a rare woman who can and does say what she means. Even rarer is the one who can do that in a "friendly" way (as opposed to domineering).

True, that. I recognize it in myself. It takes a huge effort of will many women, to make a strong request, or issue an order, or refuse a request. When she does it often comes out overly forceful, perhaps, startling to the man who hears it.

On the other hand, I know how often "friendly" (as a woman percieves them) requests are received as not requests at all, but simply brush-aside-ables. There are times when she would rather seem domineering than be ignored.

This is becoming more and more obvious to me as I get into transition. Testosterone, gentlemen, promotes a tone-deafness to the social notes that most women hear so clearly.

And other things.

 

[djserani]

I realise that I may be taking this out of context, so to speak, but I disagree. It is a rare woman who can and does say what she means. Even rarer is the one who can do that in a "friendly" way (as opposed to domineering).

You know, my husband constantly tells me that I am the exception to just about every rule, but I never understand why someone wouldn't say what they mean. It's awfully hard to get what you want (if that's the goal), if you're purposefully vague.

 

[Handley_Page]

You know, my husband constantly tells me that I am the exception to just about every rule, but I never understand why someone wouldn't say what they mean. It's awfully hard to get what you want (if that's the goal), if you're purposefully vague.

All too many women (straw poll) seem to think that as 'Hint' is sufficient, particularly for something major. They are , in my view, wrong.

 

[djserani]

"Hinting" gets you nothing. But Ive always been much more upfront than other women. I guess I thought it was better to avoid confusion... /shrug

 

[Stella_Omega]

All too many women (straw poll) seem to think that as 'Hint' is sufficient, particularly for something major. They are , in my view, wrong.

it's wunna them cultural things. Has to be overcome. Woman by woman.

"Hinting" gets you nothing. But Ive always been much more upfront than other women. I guess I thought it was better to avoid confusion... /shrug

Do you get shocked stares from other women when you do?

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[djserani]

Do you get shocked stares from other women when you do?

Sometimes, actually. But most of my female friends are like me: Geeky and insecure. Hints don't work for women like us.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I didn't know you were circumcised.

WIN!

 

[bronzeage]

All too many women (straw poll) seem to think that as 'Hint' is sufficient, particularly for something major. They are , in my view, wrong.

"Hinting" gets you nothing. But Ive always been much more upfront than other women. I guess I thought it was better to avoid confusion... /shrug

One of the fun things about being a man is one can respond to what she said, or to what she meant.

It's his choice.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[mynameisben]

Pics, please?



(You can just email 'em.)

Don't hold your breath, sarahh. He said he was a metric dude, so I'm sure he meant 12 cm.

 

[Stella_Omega]

One of the fun things about being a man is one can respond to what she said, or to what she meant.

It's his choice.

I doubt many men have a choice. If she hints, he gets it wrong. it's physics or something.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I've always claimed HM has a male brain. She is a very straight line thinker, never beats around the bush, says what she means. It makes life a lot easier for this clueless bear.

 

[bronzeage]

I doubt many men have a choice. If she hints, he gets it wrong. it's physics or something.

That is the difference between the men and the boys.

 

[ghost101]

This thread amuses me.

Women are insane.

Men are clueless.

Taste the rainbow bitches.

One thing that bugs me? "Damn girl, your fine." Cant someone come up with something more creative than that and "I'm commmming!!!"? It kills a perfectly good story.

That and the laundry list of discriptions, which has been discussed already.

 

[djserani]

One thing that bugs me? "Damn girl, your fine." Cant someone come up with something more creative than that

I'd only like to address this one line. I can see this being used (with proper punctuation and spelling) in proper context. If my character would say that (because he's a born and bred Southern Boy), then it would be appropriate.

That does not mean it should be default by any stretch of the imagination.

 

[LJ_Reloaded]

To be honest it'd be a very short story if she didn't like it.

'I unzipped my fly and released my throbbing manhood. Mary knelt before, subservient and willing, desperate to please. We locked eyes, and she slowly opened her mouth, inviting me in. Her lips met my head as her tongue flicked it's way on a cruel path down my shaft. After several exploratory bob's, she managed to engulf my entire cock in her mouth, sending fireworks off in my head. I couldn't hold off any longer, I felt my balls contract and spasm as jets of semen smashed into the back of her throat.

She coughed and spluttered, convulsing in disgust.

"Ugh! Thats fucking disgusting," she screamed, bent double spitting out my load all over my feet.

"How dare you! You prick! It's like fucking phlegm and you want me to swallow it?"

"Honey, please forgive me! Look, why don't you lie back and I'll do you!" I replied, desperate to get back into the good books and move on.

"Fuck off you bastard! Don't come near me! In fact, the sofa's looking a pretty good spot for you to sleep tonight!" Mary replied, murder in her eyes.

Deflated, defeated, I walked out of the room, knowing that in this mood there was no reasoning with Mary. Fuck though, it had been worth it!​

Actually I quite like this, maybe I'll insert it somewhere.

Why that sounds like subversion or even outright deconstruction of male sexual fantasies. It has great potential, in fact.

I'd love to see a subversion or deconstruction of women's fantasies, but that would be considered misogynist.

 

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega
Do you get shocked stares from other women when you do?

Sometimes, actually. But most of my female friends are like me: Geeky and insecure. Hints don't work for women like us.

To say nothing of puzzled frowns from any man in the area.

 

[djserani]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega
Do you get shocked stares from other women when you do?



To say nothing of puzzled frowns from any man in the area.

puzzled frowns?

 

[Athalia]

I'd agree here on some things. And of course, what constitutes erotica, what arouses people, works differently for every person, not just simply men or women. Fantasy is fine, but there's a point - for some readers -- where there's perhaps too much of it and it detracts from the story and the erotic content.

I think that supports my point about how some things that turn on men don't necessarily turn on women. My SO has been following this thread and has pointed out some things to me.

First, most erotica is written for men, and men expect certain buttons to be pushed. As sr71plt pointed out, it's a very stylized art form, in which certain things are exaggerated for effect. There's nothing wrong with that. I guess I shouldn't have come across as being so negative about it, simply because it doesn't push my own buttons. I certainly didn't mean to imply that if a story doesn't turn me on, or if details of it strike me as silly, then it's no good. It's just not for me.

Second, I'm just starting out this business of writing erotica for an audience, and I'm not sure who my audience is at this point. So I write stuff that pleases me, and I hope it finds its own audience. I will keep creating situations that I would like to be in, or would have like to have been in, and hope that it strikes a responsive chord with people of either sex. Judging from the feedback so far, I think I'm on the right track.

 

[djserani]

First, most erotica is written for men,

I can agree with everything except this. I've talked to my husband extensively and I think the problem here is definition.

Now, I might be argued with (and probably will) but erotica seems like it's aimed more toward women. The kind of seduction that exists in a lot of these stories is more than a lot of men I know would want. The thing is, erotic encompasses a large variety.

Romance could maybe cover the stuff aimed more at women, but I've read more romance that you can shake a stick at and a lot of the graphic description that you read in erotica wouldn't be allowed anywhere near a romance novel. Certain words are strictly verboten. So, really, it's more than romance, but the erotica I've talked to my friends about (both male and female) sees it as more of a story WITH sex.

Whereas the stories men tend to go for are sex with a bit of story to drive it.

But that's my opinion and you know what they say about opinions...

 

[Miss_Pixie]

I think we all need to agree that Women are too Mushy and Men are too pushy lol

 

[djserani]

I think we all need to agree that Women are too Mushy and Men are too pushy lol

ROFL!!