What makes somebody attractive?

[iThink_2]

.....

 

[silverwhisper]

WW, flyin free: OK, so i'm not alone in that regard, then? whew.

ed

 

[Sarojaede]

is it shallow to find someone else's attraction to you attractive?

ed

No, it's not shallow. Someone else's attraction to you can be a powerful thing. Sometimes, people find someone more attractive when they find out that another person is attracted to them; sometimes people develop strong attractions for people that don't reciprocate that feeling of attraction at all.

Attraction is just as much physcological as it physical. And well, let's face it, sometimes there's a certain "charge" (for lack of a better term) in knowing that someone is attracted to you.

 

[UrbanDk]

As a male, initially, it’s the eyes, hair and lips on a woman. I like an athletic body, firm and strong like some of those gals on Survivor. But honestly, looks only take you so far, after I speak to them for an extended period of time, that’s when the attraction begins.

 

[aram77]

Assuming you're looking for physical characteristics, here's what attracts me, in the order of what I would notice first if I met someone on the street.

(1) Figure. Naturally this is the first thing I'd see, since it's the most obvious characteristic that one can notice from a distance. I like tall women (I am 6'6" myself, so there's a reason) and I like them to be slim with large breasts. This is hardly a shocking revelation, I know, but I'm being honest here.

(2) Hair. I like it when there's something different about it, something noticeable. For instance, I could never for the life of me figure out what was supposed to be so damn special about Jennifer Aniston's hair; it was so ordinary! If she'd dyed it platinum blonde and worn it three feet long over one shoulder, that would be sexy.

(3) Eyes. Emerald green is best; ice blue is a close second. Actually, if this list were in order of most important, this would be at the top.

I agree with the figure and eyes but the eyes come first. And it's not the make-up it is definitely the eyes. The figure might catch my attention first but if the eyes aren't there then it will not be a love connection.

Last night I was in a pub in Juno FL and as my waitress approached I couldn't believe the figure that she had; nice ass, small waist, and huge tits, but then I looked up and she had a wonderful smile and captivating eyes with high cheek bones. I had a hard time not staring, at her eyes and tits. But I still think that the eyes have it.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

for me, the first thing I'll notice really is their smile.

 

[jerseyman1963]

The face as an entity unto itself is what gets me right off the bat, because it tells you so much about the rest of a person. Does she look you in the eye? Is she focused on you, or scoping the room? Does it look like there's brain activity, or is she blankly reciting lines she's read somewhere or used before without evidence of thought about whether this works for her or not, or reflects her own thoughts or not? Does it look like she's happy with herself, or pissed off at the world? Does she take care of herself? It's all right there on the face in an instant. Sexiness is a state of being comfortable with yourself. Having a killer body is nice, but not an indication of anything. The real action is upstairs in your head.

 

[UrbanDk]

for me, the first thing I'll notice really is their smile.

good teeth go a long way.

 

[ozz133]

I guess the first thing that gets me is a combo of Hair, eyes & smile.

 

[LadyAria]

A well groomed man who is normal to slightly chubby. Obese and rail thin is not something that catches my eye. Then, I say light color hair and eyes, good teeth and well shaped eyebrows. Intelligence and reasonable sense of humor with plenty of male friends and healthy hobbies like sports, reading or video games is required. Men need something to focus their energy. The ability to be independent and respect personal space would be important. Clingy is not sexy.

Finally, the man has to be sexually submissive to be attractive to me. It is generally very easy to pick up by a man's physical demeanor.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

good teeth go a long way.

It's not just about the teeth. It's the smile itself. The smile usually reflects the personality. It's the personality that makes someone attractive.

 

[jerseyman1963]

Finally, the man has to be sexually submissive to be attractive to me. It is generally very easy to pick up by a man's physical demeanor.

Lady Aria - I like sexually aggressive women, so just out of curiosity, what are the specific clues or signals you look for, or pick up on? And when it leads somewhere, how often do you find your assessment is correct? I should clarify that it's not a dom/sub situation for me. I just like women who are not afraid to state their needs, wants and desires, and take the initiative, and I'm always curious to hear about this from the other side of the equation.

 

[eudaemonia]

It's all right there on the face in an instant. Sexiness is a state of being comfortable with yourself. Having a killer body is nice, but not an indication of anything. The real action is upstairs in your head.

Speaking of what's in my head, get the heck out of there, jm!!! I was just going to post nearly the same thots. *g*

I want to add a clause to your excellent insight that, "exiness is a state of being comfortable with yourself." My addendum would be, "[comma] especially when your nerves are so on fire around that certain someone that allowing them to "see" your nervousness becomes an act of strength in your own mind rather than a show of weakness."

A dear friend and I have been wondering about an attractive acquaintance of his who, rather than acknowledge upfront that he's both excited by and a little scared of their friendship, has simply shut down emotionally and professionally. And furthermore, that the acquaintance probably views his actions towards my friend as having the upper hand in their interactions when in reality it's all cowardice. Avoidance Personality Disorder, perhaps?

Anyway, I just wanted to amplify the point that being comfortable with yourself can include becoming okay about the fact that you may be visibly nervous as a kitten when around someone who really turns your crank (... as events of this past week has taught me how sexy that is in a man <g>).

 

[UrbanDk]

It's not just about the teeth. It's the smile itself. The smile usually reflects the personality. It's the personality that makes someone attractive.

Well kind of what I meant. But you can't get to the personality until you spend time with that person, IMO. A smile give off an aura, its a combination of things. I will say, the more smiles the better. Someone who won't laugh or smile is not for me.

 

[LadyAria]

Lady Aria - I like sexually aggressive women, so just out of curiosity, what are the specific clues or signals you look for, or pick up on? And when it leads somewhere, how often do you find your assessment is correct? I should clarify that it's not a dom/sub situation for me. I just like women who are not afraid to state their needs, wants and desires, and take the initiative, and I'm always curious to hear about this from the other side of the equation.

There is a lot in the eye contact...like it is broken even when they are trying to project confidence. They express an obvious interest in the way they look at you but wait for clue before reacting/approaching. Never an agressive action like like touching me first or steping in my personal space even with verbial expressed interest. Their body language generally is respectfully withdrawl even with a clear "I'm dying to fuck you" vibe. Even drunk, they keep a distance when they approach you and tend to not know what to do with their hands when they talk.

 

[jerseyman1963]

Speaking of what's in my head, get the heck out of there, jm!!! I was just going to post nearly the same thots. *g*

I want to add a clause to your excellent insight that, "exiness is a state of being comfortable with yourself." My addendum would be, "[comma] especially when your nerves are so on fire around that certain someone that allowing them to "see" your nervousness becomes an act of strength in your own mind rather than a show of weakness."

A dear friend and I have been wondering about an attractive acquaintance of his who, rather than acknowledge upfront that he's both excited by and a little scared of their friendship, has simply shut down emotionally and professionally. And furthermore, that the acquaintance probably views his actions towards my friend as having the upper hand in their interactions when in reality it's all cowardice. Avoidance Personality Disorder, perhaps?

Anyway, I just wanted to amplify the point that being comfortable with yourself can include becoming okay about the fact that you may be visibly nervous as a kitten when around someone who really turns your crank (... as events of this past week has taught me how sexy that is in a man <g>).

Bingo, E. I think being truly confident sometimes, not always, but sometimes, involves not being afraid to show that your nerves are jangled, or put another way, not being afraid to show your true self. Shutting down and pretending it's not happening... very unattractive.

 

[jerseyman1963]

There is a lot in the eye contact...like it is broken even when they are trying to project confidence. They express an obvious interest in the way they look at you but wait for clue before reacting/approaching. Never an agressive action like like touching me first or steping in my personal space even with verbial expressed interest. Their body language generally is respectfully withdrawl even with a clear "I'm dying to fuck you" vibe. Even drunk, they keep a distance when they approach you and tend to not know what to do with their hands when they talk.

Interesting. Thanks for the insight.