What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

[sensational204]

For those of you who are married or are in serious relationships, what is the biggest issue between you and your significant other? Has it always been an issue in your relationship or is it something that's developed as the relationship has gone along? And how do you currently deal with it (note: not how you would ideally deal with it, but how you DO deal with it)?

 

[Guest]

 

[sexy-girl]

her friends and family being in another country (she moved here to be with me)

she doesn't actually make a big deal of it at all ... but sometimes i feel bad about it and try and help her stay in contact with her friends ... but sometimes i shouldn't interfere when i do


but we work it out its probably the only issue we have and its not a big one exactly ... we're going in a few weeks back to her family to visit so thats one way we sort it out


but on the whole you just have to accept the issue and not do stuff to make it worse (like interfering to much) i know its not always easy to do though

 

[ksmybuttons]

He is a slob. He is always going to put it away or clean it up "later." His later and mine do not match.

It is only an issue about 3 days out of the month. Sometimes I rip into him, sometimes I clean it up and feel self rightious. He notices those three days quicker than I and sometimes even takes care of it himself.

Still irritates the hell out me those 3 days. 15years x 12 months x 3 days =540 days. So about 1 1/2 years of PMS.

We all have our crosses to bear.

 

[MercyMia]

For those of you who are married or are in serious relationships, what is the biggest issue between you and your significant other? Has it always been an issue in your relationship or is it something that's developed as the relationship has gone along? And how do you currently deal with it (note: not how you would ideally deal with it, but how you DO deal with it)?

We have different definitions of deadlines and budgets. We don't understand boundaries the same way. We never have enough time together. At first, we tried to make rules to FIX THINGS, but lately, we deal with specific conflicts as they arise. This seems to work better because we don't have to promise to change forever, just to accommodate in one instance. There is an implicit understanding that we can still be ourselves as long as we also take care of each other.

 

[SpiceCake]

It was money! Second was his ex-fucking wife!

 

[Magical_Mother]

We've been together for 7 years but he doesn't want to live together. * sigh *

 

[Riles]

It's no longer a problem, I served him his walking papers.

 

[bad kitty]

His ex wife, money, him helping around the house, my sarcasm

 

[Pixie]

Ummmm...I guess, distance, my baggage and lack of funds.

 

[Hillbilly_Honey]

Distance. We're currently hundreds of miles apart. It definitely creates issues at times, but so far we're dealing with it the only way we can....lots of communication and seeing each other as much as possible.

 

[Guest]

 

[Magical_Mother]

Re: Re: What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

Originally posted by sensational204
For those of you who are married or are in serious relationships, what is the biggest issue between you and your significant other?
The biggest issue would be commitment. I want to marry someday and he is totally against it.

Has it always been an issue in your relationship or is it something that's developed as the relationship has gone along?
It hasn't always been an issue because in the beginning I didn't want to either but now... after 7 years of off and on again... we have been throught so much and I can't continue to be a safe place. I want to be more than that. I deserve it.

And how do you currently deal with it (note: not how you would ideally deal with it, but how you DO deal with it)? Most of the time I don't, I just let it hang over me like a gloomy cloud and when someone gets married or engaged it depresses the hell out of me because I know I'm in a no-end relationship with a man that has his cake and all... HE knows that is my ulitimate goal yet it doesn't effect his decision.. so I'm thinking of relocating if I get this promotion. A new start might be the best bet. I just haven't weighed all the pros and cons yet. So I'm still pending.

My sentiments exactly.

 

[Ezzie]

His schedule. Between work, school and sleep, there's little "us" time. I know he's doing it to better himself and I'm extremely proud of him, but, I must admit that I miss him.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

 

[Magical_Mother]

Re: Re: Re: Re: What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

I just read yours... frustrating I know.

It is so hard to be in a dead end relationship that you have invested so much time in and knowing that it's not going anywhere and he will never change.

 

[dclabrecque]

I've been married for 31 years. Our only ongoing issue is our very different sex drives. I'm sure on lots of other boards people would think that should be no big deal. On this board, I'm relatively sure I'll get some sympathy. We are opposite of most complainers in this area, in that I'm the one who wants more sex and more variety. My husband would be happy with vanilla sex once a week, and every now and then some truly passionate and aerobic sex. Myself, sex vanilla sex daily, and some wonderful hot stuff a couple of times a week would be more to my liking. Dealing with it? It's hard. I masterbate almost daily, and wonder daily how much longer I can stand this. I'll admit, this difference waxes and wanes, but has been a huge problem for at least four years. I believed that since our kids are gone, and we have the house to ourselves again, we would get back to our honeymoon selves, and he is happy with a much more platonic relationship.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

 

[Magical_Mother]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: What is the biggest issue in your marriage or relationship?

Plus all the people that you both now know and love from each others family, not to mention my daughter accepting him as her male role model... I've been really careful to remind her that he isn't her father or stepfather until we are married. But kids... will be kids. It's all complicated now. I've got to the point to where I've considered just letting it go on but... that isn't what I want. And dammit.. this is MY year!

I know it really pisses me off.

 

[Chantal Marchon]

Our biggest current issue is lack of money and how irresponsible he is in spending it. he will buy enough books in a month that are equal to his car payment.

I don't know how to solve this problem.

 

[SpankMyMonkey]

The biggest problem is that I can't leave without loosing my son.

She knows she has the power card and I have to submit to it. Therfore I make the best of what I can. The hardest part is knowning that there is someone out there that I care for very dearly and cannot be with her.

I must stay to be with my son.

Spank

 

[cheesysusie]

We live in Alabama. And well, he's moving to New York. We also have money issues, mainly that he has lots and I have none, which can make me uncomfortable taking things from him. There's also a pretty large age difference. The biggest problem right now, obviously, is that he's moving. How am I dealing? Denial is a lovely state.

 

[Mia62]

I moved out. 'Nuff said.

 

[cricketbug]

ksmybuttons
He is a slob. He is always going to put it away or clean it up "later." His later and mine do not match.

It is only an issue about 3 days out of the month. Sometimes I rip into him, sometimes I clean it up and feel self rightious. He notices those three days quicker than I and sometimes even takes care of it himself.

Still irritates the hell out me those 3 days. 15years x 12 months x 3 days =540 days. So about 1 1/2 years of PMS.

We all have our crosses to bear.



My sentiments exactly ksmybtuttons... i think i only rip on him about 1-2 days, he knows it and doesn't jumpt ot he defense....

 

[Cheyenne]

For those of you who are married or are in serious relationships, what is the biggest issue between you and your significant other? Has it always been an issue in your relationship or is it something that's developed as the relationship has gone along? And how do you currently deal with it (note: not how you would ideally deal with it, but how you DO deal with it)?

Hmmm... I don't think we have any big issues yet. I'm sure there will be something that comes up eventually.