What is Love?

[WckdnWild]

It's been a little over 2 years, since I joined LIT. I've not forgotten what brought me here, (although sometimes I wish I could). I will say however that the bitterness has subsided. The sting dissipated substantially, but not completely.

I've seen monikers come and go, change and even attempt to reinvent themselves.

Now, after what I've experienced, IRL and here... even more curious than ever to know... of ALL of us who come here... how do you define "LOVE"... what does it mean to you...

 

[sunshinegirl05]

It's been a little over 3 years, since I joined LIT. I've not forgotten what brought me here, (although sometimes I wish I could). I will say however that the bitterness has subsided. The sting dissipated substantially, but not completely.

I've seen monikers come and go, change and even attempt to reinvent themselves.

Now, after what I've experienced, IRL and here... even more curious than ever to know... of ALL of us who come here... how do you define "LOVE"... what does it mean to you...

True love to me is defined by this:

Love is patient, love is kind.
Love is forgiveness.
Love is encouraging the other person to reach their full potential.
Love is taking the good and the bad of someone.
Love makes you feel like you can do anything.
Love is being someone's rock...their calm.
Love is being silly and laughing.
Love is giving and taking.
Love is listening.

Love is this and more.
Love is the one person who is and has been all of these to me.
I've been very lucky to have experienced this more than once with the same person.

 

[fullservice65]

Nice.

 

[handsfree6969]

What is love?.......now that is a great question. I am answering "maybe" because it is only worth risk if it is "true." There are many kinds of love but I am assuming you are talking about the complete romantic love that supersedes and encompasses all others. The kind of love that most of us look for all of our lives but find elusive because it isn't a love that you can just have with anyone. You are talking about the kind of love that is the subject of movies, books, and music. The kind of love that has made Nicholas Sparks wealthy. It is very difficult to intellectually define true romantic love as a specific, definitive object. I think it is because true romantic love transcends the 3 dimensions that our physical selves exist in (at least the dimensions we perceive with our 5 senses). True romantic love speaks beyond our intellect and even beyond our emotions. There is a quantum entanglement of the hearts and souls of the two people that occurs, which is analogous to the quantum entanglement that is described in physics.....even when they are apart, they are connected. True romantic love is a collision of two souls that meld into one. For it to exist, it is known and felt by both people....not merely one of them, i.e., their individual love languages are the same and connect. If it is known by only one, it isn't true because the souls are not connecting.....when that happens, that is when a person is in love with the idea of love but with not directly with the person they are projecting onto. That can be very confusing. This confusion is a big part of the unbalanced relationships with the opposite gender that many people have. In "laymen's terms" one thinks they are "in love" and the other is thinking the relationship is one of friendship.

So, in thinking about your question, I thought "So how does this love come about?" That is even harder to define. It isn't something that is forced, it is a connection that happens unknowingly (at first)....at least on a conscious level. The need for connection with each other grows. Conversation and energy simply flows whether it is face-to-face where hours pass like minutes, even after a long flight, what seems like minutes on the phone may actually be a 12 hour phone call. Simple trips to places like Starbucks have a huge meaning. Even trips to the grocery store are electric. I am not quite sure how it comes about but for the two people involved, it just "is."

What does this type of love look like? To me, it is the two way sharing and knowledge of each other's most intimate thoughts and feelings (and I don't mean simply on a sexual level). Knowing each other's story. In a sense, we are the aggregate of our past. to understand another person, we need to know them on a deep, intimate level. People who share this kind of love, tend to know everything about each other's history (of course there are people that know many, many things about someone else and that doesn't mean they are in love but people who do have a true, romantic love, do know about each other......From the personal, like, hopes, dreams, pains, successes, failures, regrets....to the factual: who are their parents, siblings, children, the places they grew up....their tastes in: music, movies, books, foods, vacation....what seems to be very key to me is people who have this type of love know each other's nuances and idiosyncrasies and not only accept them but they embrace them. They aren't there to criticize each other about which one of them needs to "change."

In a true romantic love, even your partner's imperfections are perfect to you because that makes them who they "are."

What it doesn't look like to me ....the key for me knowing when it isn't the love I am talking about is when one person takes the view of another like they are property. When someone states that they "didn't get a chance" or "have a shot" as if the person of their desire is some sort of piece of property to be had. When people are thinking like that, they are inadvertently viewing the other person as an objective of desire akin to desiring a product on a store shelf (treating them like chattel for emotional and ejaculatory purposes)....if it is true romantic love, the connection is there or it isn't.

So, the final thought is: "are there degrees to this love?" Yes, there are. Some people line up closer than others. It is like aligning two circles, some line up perfectly, some lineup pretty well, and some don't.....well they aren't even close to the same shapes but when you get 2 circles that completely overlap........

So, after my wandering response, if what you have is this true romantic love, then yes, it is worth risking everything.

 

[snakebyte]

Am i the only one who saw the headline and thought "what is love, baby don't hurt me, no more" sorry couldn't resist. But i agree with sunshine. That to me is true lover

 

[TheSilverLining]

Am i the only one who saw the headline and thought "what is love, baby don't hurt me, no more" sorry couldn't resist. But i agree with sunshine. That to me is true lover

I can't believe someone beat me to it!

Sorry.
Love is a many spledid thing, love lifts us up where we belong - all you need is love!?

I like sunshine's post.
I also like the point made by handsfree - love is loving someone because of all their little faults, not in spite of them.

I think love is not being able to comprehend life without the other person.
*shrugs*

 

[WckdnWild]

*thumbing the pages, reading each line carefully*

 

[cf23430]

Sitting down and taking notes......now where is my greeen highlighter


Cf

 

[Lord_Nibiru]

Am i the only one who saw the headline and thought "what is love, baby don't hurt me, no more" sorry couldn't resist.

Me too

 

[englishgent73]

Love is a crazy uncontrollable and addictive emotion.

You should never pass up the opportunity to miss it

 

[WckdnWild]

Excerpt from a popular website...

Love has always been a popular topic among friends and peers. We teens are no different and it is the best topic of discussion among us too. Everybody wants to know who is dating who and who is hitting on whom. Teens are the most active in exploration of this elusive emotion and understanding what is love.

Love has been defined as the best experience in one’s life. However, the hectic life that we have now, we fail to pay heed to our feelings and sometimes are forced to ignore or misunderstand them. Problem arises when a person does this. Most of the times a person do not know whether he or she is in love. Or worse, s/he chooses the wrong person to fall for.


Love is as old as the earth itself. As the centuries passed not only the lives of people have changed, approach to the feeling of LOVE too has changed drastically. Gone are the days when a lover ‘wasted’ loads of time wooing his beloved. Gone are the days of Devdas or Romeo & Juliet. Nobody believes in cheesy lines and love letters today. We are living at a time when pizza reaches home faster than an ambulance! This is the time of instant love and bad karma.


21st Century Love: Good or Bad?

‘21st Century’…sounds pretty cool and modern, doesn’t it? So what is love in 21st century? We are the generation who boast of a fast approach towards life. We laugh and snigger at the slow paced minds of the older generations. Each and every one of us want to brag about our love. We take pride in using Google and Facebook. We might remain far away from our dears yet we feel so close, thanks to Mark Zuckerburg. Whew! What inventions.

In the midst of Android and Twitter, do any of us wonder whether our emotions are getting mechanical or not? Love in our generation seems a far-fetched stuff…something that can only be seen in movies. We do not like to commit. Are we not getting a bit too mechanical?


David and Linda (fictitious characters) meet one day.

They ‘hook-up’ the next day.

‘Facebook-ed’ each other for the entire third day.

Make-out on the fourth day.

Fifth Day?.. They break up and ‘move on’.


The term ‘Moving On’ is very contradictory. So what you had a break-up…move on buddy! Life goes on even if you stop in your tracks. That is what 21st century love is all about. There are only handfuls who want to commit to ONE person and stick to him/her for the entire life. Otherwise, who would want to date ‘only one’ when there are a lot others waiting in line? If one can go out with 7 people on 7 days, why stick to that “one-boring-person”.


Not only this, we date innumerable people and get married to a complete stranger. Or better not get married at all. It does not trouble the 21st century generation that they are losing out on the emotional values. Moreover, the person who really falls in love and gets betrayed suffers the most. But, who cares?? You have a long list of options waiting for you at the Facebook page.


And lastly, friends are ‘only’ friends today. Nobody turns to your husband/wife!

Are we really moving on from our ex or moving ‘away’ from love?


Love…Obsession…Infatuation


‘No honey, you were not in love…it was only infatuation’…

‘Don’t love so much that it turns to an Obsession!’…

The difficulty of differentiating between the three has been posing a problem since the days of ‘Adam & Eve’. We are standing at a point of time when it is very much possible to misunderstand what is love and what is not. We do not stick to one person and search for the next. We do not have count of the number of ex-es we have. Hence, the question…’I am in Love, or Am I?’

If you cannot think about anything or anybody else except that special one… go on buddy, you are in LOVE!

If you have a partner and still think about the guy/girl next door, leave the present! It’s an infatuation!

Obsession is when you spend sleepless nights or cannot stand anybody near your partner. That is great problem because you need to give him/her the space!

LOVE, OBSESSION, and INFATUATION are very similar. They can be placed side by side. Yet they are very much different. If you mistake one for the other, you are going to face serious trouble, my dear!

So, gear up and fear not to love! Because, no matter how cheesy you think it is, it is Love that makes the world go round! Think twice before leaving a person, he/she might just be the special one!

 

[WckdnWild]

I've never REALLY listened to all the words... so for fun

What is Love ~ Haddaway

What is love
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more


I want no other, no other lover
This is our life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Yeah

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh


What is love?

 

[Miles Long]

Love is a lot of different things. Love is something we feel, it is something we do, and it is something we are. This is why everyone has so many definitions for the word and why Haddaway's distillation in their 1993 pop classic is really a miracle of modern poetry/songwriting.

Love is something we feel. If you've loved someone you just knew it in your bones. That's true for romance, friendship, family, whatever. It's the feeling that feels most feeling-y, and it's a lovely (and sometimes not so lovely) feeling. At least that's how I feel.

Love is something we do. Love is looking at a person and saying I want to give you what you need and you give me what I need, and together we'll do something that works for us in spite of and because of all the things that make us crazy. Even if that doesn't look like Love to anyone else. Love is raising a child and giving him or her the best chance at a good life that you can give. Love is finding out after thirty years of marriage that your spouse has cancer, or alzheimer's, or anything else, and then taking care of them every single day until they die without a word of complaint because Love is being strong for your family. Love is holding your mother's hand as they lower your father into the ground, preferring to do your crying when you're alone on a six and a half hour drive home because Love is being strong for your family. Love is everyday tasks. Love is being there when it matters the most and when it matters the least. Love is a lending a helping hand, providing a shoulder to cry on, and doing things for someone simply because you love them.

Love is who we are. It is our connection to the universe, it is what makes us eternal. It is the reason to breathe in and out everyday. Love is existence.

Also, I really love tits. Look at those puppies!

 

[Josiyummi]

Love is kissing his mouth, melting, and moaning, and not even realizing it.
comfortable silence, learning, hurting, and trusting.

 

[fungatorgurl101]

Love is content

 

[cf23430]

Love is kissing his mouth, melting, and moaning, and not even realizing it.
comfortable silence, learning, hurting, and trusting.

i love that definition

 

[Josiyummi]

i love that definition

Well, I am a freaky romantic. Call me crazy.

 

[cf23430]

Well, I am a freaky romantic. Call me crazy.

well I feel the same way....I guess we are both freaking crazy....

 

[Lily13]

What is love?.......now that is a great question. I am answering "maybe" because it is only worth risk if it is "true." There are many kinds of love but I am assuming you are talking about the complete romantic love that supersedes and encompasses all others. The kind of love that most of us look for all of our lives but find elusive because it isn't a love that you can just have with anyone. You are talking about the kind of love that is the subject of movies, books, and music. The kind of love that has made Nicholas Sparks wealthy. It is very difficult to intellectually define true romantic love as a specific, definitive object. I think it is because true romantic love transcends the 3 dimensions that our physical selves exist in (at least the dimensions we perceive with our 5 senses). True romantic love speaks beyond our intellect and even beyond our emotions. There is a quantum entanglement of the hearts and souls of the two people that occurs, which is analogous to the quantum entanglement that is described in physics.....even when they are apart, they are connected. True romantic love is a collision of two souls that meld into one. For it to exist, it is known and felt by both people....not merely one of them, i.e., their individual love languages are the same and connect. If it is known by only one, it isn't true because the souls are not connecting.....when that happens, that is when a person is in love with the idea of love but with not directly with the person they are projecting onto. That can be very confusing. This confusion is a big part of the unbalanced relationships with the opposite gender that many people have. In "laymen's terms" one thinks they are "in love" and the other is thinking the relationship is one of friendship.

So, in thinking about your question, I thought "So how does this love come about?" That is even harder to define. It isn't something that is forced, it is a connection that happens unknowingly (at first)....at least on a conscious level. The need for connection with each other grows. Conversation and energy simply flows whether it is face-to-face where hours pass like minutes, even after a long flight, what seems like minutes on the phone may actually be a 12 hour phone call. Simple trips to places like Starbucks have a huge meaning. Even trips to the grocery store are electric. I am not quite sure how it comes about but for the two people involved, it just "is."

What does this type of love look like? To me, it is the two way sharing and knowledge of each other's most intimate thoughts and feelings (and I don't mean simply on a sexual level). Knowing each other's story. In a sense, we are the aggregate of our past. to understand another person, we need to know them on a deep, intimate level. People who share this kind of love, tend to know everything about each other's history (of course there are people that know many, many things about someone else and that doesn't mean they are in love but people who do have a true, romantic love, do know about each other......From the personal, like, hopes, dreams, pains, successes, failures, regrets....to the factual: who are their parents, siblings, children, the places they grew up....their tastes in: music, movies, books, foods, vacation....what seems to be very key to me is people who have this type of love know each other's nuances and idiosyncrasies and not only accept them but they embrace them. They aren't there to criticize each other about which one of them needs to "change."

In a true romantic love, even your partner's imperfections are perfect to you because that makes them who they "are."

What it doesn't look like to me ....the key for me knowing when it isn't the love I am talking about is when one person takes the view of another like they are property. When someone states that they "didn't get a chance" or "have a shot" as if the person of their desire is some sort of piece of property to be had. When people are thinking like that, they are inadvertently viewing the other person as an objective of desire akin to desiring a product on a store shelf (treating them like chattel for emotional and ejaculatory purposes)....if it is true romantic love, the connection is there or it isn't.

So, the final thought is: "are there degrees to this love?" Yes, there are. Some people line up closer than others. It is like aligning two circles, some line up perfectly, some lineup pretty well, and some don't.....well they aren't even close to the same shapes but when you get 2 circles that completely overlap........

So, after my wandering response, if what you have is this true romantic love, then yes, it is worth risking everything.

I do believe you have your finger on the pulse of it. Very insightful..

 

[WckdnWild]

Another excerpt...

Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded.

Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or disappear love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love.

Love is bigger than you are. You can invite love, but you cannot dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love, or not, but in the end love strikes like lightening, unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you don't like at all. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addendums, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires.

Love is inherently free. It cannot be bought, sold, or traded. You cannot make someone love you, nor can you prevent it, for any amount of money. Love cannot be imprisoned nor can it be legislated. Love is not a substance, not a commodity, nor even a marketable power source. Love has no territory, no borders, no quantifiable mass or energy output.

One can buy sex partners and even marriage partners. Marriage is a matter for the law, for rules and courts and property rights. In the past the marriage price, or dowry, and in the present alimony and the pre-nuptial agreement, make it clear that marriage is all about contracts. But as we all know, marriages, whether arranged or not, may have little enough to do with love.

Sexual stimulation and gratification, whether by way of fingers, mouths, objects, fantasy play, whips and chains, or just plain intercourse, can certainly be bought and sold, not to mention used to sell other things. Whether sex should be for sale is another question entirely, but love itself can not be sold.

One can buy loyalty, companionship, attention, perhaps even compassion, but love itself cannot be bought. An orgasm can be bought, but love cannot. It comes, or not, by grace, of its own will and in its own timing, subject to no human's planning.

Love cannot be turned on as a reward. It cannot be turned off as a punishment. Only something else pretending to be love can be used as a lure, as a hook, for bait and switch, imitated, insinuated, but the real deal can never be delivered if it doesn't spring freely from the heart.

This doesn't mean that love allows destructive and abusive behaviors to go unchecked. Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is being done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief, or pain to be expressed and released. But love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn't get what it wants. Love does not say, directly or indirectly, "If you are a bad boy, Mommy won't love you any more." Love does not say, "Daddy's little girl doesn't do that." Love does not say, "If you want to be loved you must be nice, or do what I want, or never love anyone else, or promise you'll never leave me."

Love cares what becomes of you because love knows that we are all interconnected. Love is inherently compassionate and empathic. Love knows that the "other" is also oneself. This is the true nature of love and love itself can not be manipulated or restrained. Love honors the sovereignty of each soul. Love is its own law.

 

[SmileyGirl]

This for me is how I would define love. They express it in words far better than I ever could.

 

[Scentofawoman]

I think. Love to me is what my state if being is at that time. The love I felt 13 years ago is not the same love I feel now. It has evolved for me to fit me. I think it's what we do to make us get through every day. To get up and go to work when 3 feet of snow is on it's way. To sit and have your hair brushed into knots by little hands, to convince yourself everyday not to walk away and start a new life.

It's how much emphasis you put on love that matters and the actions you take in the name of it.

 

[WckdnWild]

*turning the page, continuing to ready intently*

 

[LadyVer]

Love is easier to talk about than do.

 

[settledseas]

Love is easier to talk about than do.

well said Lady Ver! thats why one must work at it, push throught for it.
if one really wants it . . .and its for them . .with that person heheh.